Real Life Behind Home Plate - Billie Jauss’ Journey AlongTheWay 31

Billy Joel, it's great to have you on along the way. Thank you so much for allowing me to join you along your way a little bit.

Thank you so much for having me. I'm excited to be here with you.

Yeah, it's been. It's been fun getting to know you over the past couple baseball seasons. Gosh, Brent, maybe for No, I was gonna

say it's been a few more than a couple. It's been Yeah, it's been a few years. Yeah, cuz I met you through a mutual friend, who we knew from our days in Boston and, and our friendships grown over the year. Yeah.

Yeah. Some of our friends were the same

in that too. We had lots of connections as we started talking.

And then Noah goes to my church. Yeah. And I just happened to be a baseball game and he said, I want you to meet my friend, Billy Joel. Yeah. And I had already heard about you and Dave. So Well, the reason we're talking about baseball is because Billy's husband Dave is one of the coaches for the Pittsburgh Pirates. And so Billy's life has been revolved around baseball in some way or another for how many years?

I met David in the fall of 1985. And the funny story is, is that I had been quite a baseball fan. Even before that. I had a lot of friends in middle school that played baseball, I go to the ballpark so much baseball, I've always been a baseball fan. But upon meeting David, he was a college coach at the time. And that started our life together was his spring. A spring season of college baseball is when we started dating. So yeah, it's that was 1985 86. So okay, I how many years ago is that way too many.

Way too many to count. So that's

Yeah, that's great. So baseball has always been a part

of your life. It really has. It really has.

Yeah. And so I've actually been able to bring you and Dave on to the real life program which has been a lot Lot of fun because you guys are very versed about talking about a lot of different things, a lot of different aspects of your life and your journey with Christ. And I kind of want to be able to capture or capture some of that here on this podcast. Because Yeah, I just appreciate the things that you've shared with me in the past. So, Billy, would you just kind of we've already touched on it. We've already touched on it a little bit. Would you mind just telling me about your journey with the Lord?

Yeah, um, I grew up in North Carolina. So the Bible Belt so you know who Jesus was, you know, it was an everyday talk. There were lots of different churches. I grew up in a Protestant church went to church a lot. It was very much a family thing to be able to get together, get dressed up, go to church on Sunday mornings I served on as an acolyte during that time of middle school and high school. I always felt there was a connection with the Lord, but I didn't know what that meant because it was Wasn't where I went to church. We didn't talk about a relationship with Christ it was, you know, God worship God and, and it was a bit of a, a god on a pedestal, which Yes, the Almighty God is, but it was never brought into he can live in your life. In high school, I started going to church with a few friends on Sunday night services they would have and then they'd have the Sunday night youth group and it was more of a charismatic evangelical type church and I started hearing about how you could have a relationship with Jesus. And I was like, wow, like, that's a thing like that. That sounds pretty cool. Like I already talked to him all the time, because I talked to everybody so I was talking to God already anyway. Had a very, I what I see now I didn't then was that I had a very good prayer life, but it was me and Jesus, you know, I talked to Jesus a lot and I talked to him like I would a friend and and I didn't tell people about it because it was Wasn't really what was quote unquote, right to do, you know, and in in my circle of church going. So I started going to church with my my friends and on Sunday nights and then on Wednesday nights, and just really, I felt like started a relationship with Christ. And then not until I was a little older in my teen years and this young man invited me to church and he was cute. And so I started going to church with him and you know, to see him, not with him, but to see him and bringing a lot of friends along. And then one Sunday night service, I felt like someone was pushing me from behind. And I turned around to look because there's a bunch of friends with us and nobody was pushing me. There's nobody standing behind me. And I said to my girlfriend, who was with me, Susan, Susan, do you feel like you want to go up front? She's like, no, because they gave an altar call. She's like, No, I'm not going to let people see me walk upright. In so I was like, Okay, I'm not going either. I just kept feeling this tug this push. And so it might have been a Sunday night or two later that I walked up to the front of the church and gave my life to Christ and, and during that I just felt such peace. I felt such amazing peace but I didn't really have a good discipleship group around me. I didn't have a lot of people encouraging me to continue to go to church and actually had one older person that who I trusted. say to me, don't you know, God doesn't love little like love girls like you? I was loud and fun and

said, God didn't love God

doesn't love girls like you? Wow. Because I was boisterous, was talkative. I wasn't me. I wasn't mild. I wasn't quiet. And I thought, Oh, well, if I'm not making my own quiet, then I can't be a daughter of Christ. He can't love me because I'm not like that. And so I walked away from the church. Try defined where I belonged and chose a lot of different, bad situations to belong in. And I see now looking back, that the Lord was really guiding me through that because there's so many things that I was involved in that I should have never survived I should have never come out on the other side of should have never been protected and kept safe the way that I was because I was in some very treacherous situations. And the Lord really, I feel, really guided me through that and has used those times in my life to really show me that he was there with me. And then fast forward a bunch of years continue to go to church off and on and then met my husband and he'd gone to church his whole life too, but we weren't really going to church together and had kids and knew I should take my kids to church but not really, you know, they were young and about our 10 year mark, our marriage fell apart, completely fell apart for reasons of nothing. Other than I was living life with the kids, and he was chasing his career and in baseball, that means you don't spend a whole lot of time together. You know, he's on the road a lot. He's gone a lot. There's 162

games a year, but that doesn't count spring training, travel days, all that stuff. So you're probably gone from your family. 250 days. Yeah, we

we joke around now that the first 25 years of our marriage, we were together half of the time if that because it is a lot of travel. We're basically away from each other from February until October, with us being able to be with him for maybe a month or two or three months at the most each season. And then he did 10 years of winter ball on top of that. So that was year round baseball. So at that 10 year mark, our marriage was complete. I mean, it was we separated and I never wanted to be a divorced woman and went to a counselor because I didn't know how to get my life back in order and we were Living in a large city that was not a very Christ focused city it was, you know, it was a very liberal place to be and went to this counselor. And I don't believe that she was a Christian. I don't even I believe she was an atheist. And she said to me one day, when is the one time in your life where you felt the most peace? And I said, when I was in high school, and when I was going to church, and she said, Well, you need to go back to church. So, next Sunday, I show up at a Protestant church, because my mother had told me that if I ever left our, our Protestant church, it was like committing adultery against God. So she said that I'm sure to very much guide me and lead me to stay within the church. So but then went back to the Protestant church and started going to church and sitting on a little league baseball field which my whole life seems to revolve around baseball. My to my boys who are playing on the field in a baseball game. My little one was on the playground behind me. And a lady whose son was on one of the teams was sitting with me. And she asked me how things were going. And nobody knew that David had separated because he was never home anyway. So this was a very personal relationship separation, not even a physical separation, because we already had that, mostly. And so my friend Ingrid said to me, why don't you come to my Bible study? I'd love to have you come to a Bible study. Her husband was a pastor in town at a evangelical church and, and I'm like, Yeah, I don't know about that, like, sure. How do you? How do you read the Bible? How did you go to a Bible study when you've never even opened a Bible on your own? unless it was a reading at church that you had to do? You know, I'd never really looked at a Bible so much. And she asked me to go to Bible study, and I said, Yeah, I don't think so. And Dave and I started working on our marriage over time. And I kept, I felt like the Lord was really talking to me. As I said before, I talked to the Lord a lot. I felt like he was saying to me, go to Ingrid's go, for your friendship with this lady. She's a nice lady. You know, I just felt this urging. So I finally said, Yes, to Ingrid's Bible study, and we sat down and open the Bible and open a John and she's like, do you believe that? Christ died on the cross for the forgiveness of your sins? You believe he rose again? Do you believe and I was like, Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, she goes, so why don't you consider yourself a Christian? I'm like, what, what do you do other than believe? Like, I believe I believed all that all my life, but what does that mean? Like how does that relate to life? And so she just started walking me through what it meant to be a Christian, what it meant to live a life alongside Jesus. allowing him to guide and lead you. And that was transformative in my life. started going to their church and then David. One day he was home for a weekend. And he said to me, I don't mean to, like, point you out or anything, but something's different with you. And I'm like, Okay, what do you mean? He goes, something's different. I don't know what it is. I'm like, I don't know. I just, I feel more peaceful. I feel more joy. And he's like, I like you're a lot better. Like, Oh, good Lord was at that bad, which I knew I had been I had been in a very terrible place of not being peaceful and very frustrated and more over me than him. just frustrated with where I was and how my life was going. And so anyway, we David started going to church with me. I've announced to me the boys had started telling him because we have three boys. The boys started telling him that we were going to our friends church, and the music was really cool. You could dance to it if you wanted to. And they liked it very much, and all their friends were there. And David started coming to church with us and

gave us life to Christ. And we began working on our marriage is Christ being at the center rather than me or him being at the center of our marriage or children being at the center of our marriage? And yeah, and that's the long story of how it all sort of came about.

Yeah, that's so you went from having an understanding about who Jesus was, and just going to church. But everything changed when you really had a relationship with Jesus. Yeah. And your husband knew that. He saw that your kids saw that. And so what your how many years ago was that?

That was 2003 2002 2003 and that was at a time that was our kids were still young. And we were, you know, we were living a crazy life at that point we had been in pro ball for oh my gosh, almost 15 years. Wow, that's a long time. We've been in pro ball about 15 years and, and had lived a lot of life in that liberal, a lot of different places, done a lot of things and been in the big leagues. And, you know, we kept thinking that, you know, once we make it to the big leagues, once we make it to this, once we make it to that our lives are going to be better. Once we make more money, our lives are going to be better. And it was so on our own efforts in our own choices. That when we came to that point of surrendering and really having a relationship with Christ to the to not just saying okay, Lord, Accept you then. Right? But then going father insane. Okay, Who is God? Who is God in my life for how am I allowing Jesus to change me. And in that change, it's getting to know who God is who Jesus is. And then walking toward that in our own lives of trying to be more Christ like and more godly than we were before. And now, I'm not gonna let anybody feel like oh, once you give Lyft Christ, everything gets better and it's wonderful. No, it's not perfect. Yeah. But you have Jesus to rely on in every situation.

Absolutely.

You have that foundation to go back to knowing that God has your life in his hands. He has a plan for you. He's going to work for good. So no, not everything's perfect. Our lives haven't been pretty Fate and you know, not everything is gone exactly as we thought it would. But life has been so much more peaceful and joyful in this walk. And in this every day, crazy life of baseball with the ups and downs and moves and all of that, that having that relationship with Jesus, and getting to know who he is, and how that relates to my life now today.

So your relationship with with Christ, and really going from the religion to the relationship is what changed everything and it started that. And so you mentioned about discipleship and God brought Ingrid into your life to really help you in that walk with the Lord. And now I know something about you that you're helping a lot of other young men in there

I pray so I hope I pray I'm helping them.

Tell me Tell me about that. Tell me about um,

yeah. So once Steve and I gave her life to Christ and really started focusing on where what God wanted us to do for him to glorify Him and all that we say all that we do all that we are. And as I said, we're not perfect. So we slip up at times, but we truly do try to do that. We really started looking at the Bible is the scripture that would speak to us as to how we could better center our lives on Christ and collections. 323 is work as if working for the Lord and not for man. And that change. Now my husband is a hard worker. He is a workaholic. He loves baseball, say the three things in his life. There's Jesus, there's baseball, and there's family, and it doesn't always come in that order. Because sometimes, unfortunately, and I'm not throwing him under the bus, he would tell you baseball comes before God sometimes and then he gets he shakes himself and goes, Okay, Lord, I need you to center me. But when you're in a losing season, or things aren't going the way you are, you tend want to work harder. And not just pray about it. So yeah, all joking aside, but working is it working for the Lord and not for me and we started looking at the situations of where God planted us and those moments, how could we glorify God where we were. And just some of the small things we did was really in every ballpark there were in in every circumstance any any situation that we're in, we try to glorify God in those situations. If that be my sweet gate guys here at PNC Park and Pittsburgh that I walk in and I just love on them and I talked to them and you know, and and they see us speak at faith night that we have here at PNC, those types of things. And then even in a deeper way of each night I sit in the stands with the baseball wives. And I'm a joke a lot, but I joke about how when we started in professional baseball 32 years ago, I was the age of the players wives now They to the players wives, I'm 32 years older, but they're all the same age. Not the same people but the same age that 22 to 32 year old crew, right? So that they've all stayed the same age. But I've been there I've done that. I know how life is and what the struggles are and the frustrations are and to be able to come alongside of them and love on their children and love on them. And, you know, there's been a few nights where I've gotten a phone call at three in the morning over frustrated mom with puking babies and run over to their where they are and help with the sick babies or help a mom get to the hospital and she's about to give birth when dad's on the road. And, you know, all the things that we do together we live life together in those six months that we're together during a baseball season. So that has been one of the things that I'd love to do is just pour into to the lives of them and show them Jesus So, we, as a group of women do Bible studies together. And that's another way that we can really join hands, you know, and, and help each other through difficulties and struggles. And, you know, it's not just struggles on the field, their struggles off the field, their families with, you know, with children with disabilities or families with children who have autism or Down syndrome or you know, other types of genetic disorders. There are families that have moms and dads that aren't as loving as in kind to them as they should, should be. You know, there are a lot of people needing and wanting things from you once you get to a certain level. So helping them see how they can glorify God in their giving, and in their service of serving others and those types of things. I just, I feel like I want to be able to pour in their lives the love of Jesus and how Jesus desires from For them to live their lives and to glorify Him and all that they do.

Yeah. And you've actually done a bit of a Bible study to you, you wrote a book, and I want to talk about

last season or something

that came out January of 2018. And last summer, the pirates wives did my book is a Bible study. The book is making room doing less so God can do more. And so it was a really humbling time of sitting back. And it was also very odd. Because when you're in Bible study with girls are like, Oh my gosh, when when Beth Moore said this, or when Lisa Tucker said that or when Linda delusive, Linda Diller said this or that, and you're in Bible study with them, and they're like, Oh, we really set this and they're like, okay, that's really weird, because you're sitting there. Yeah, no, but it was such a blessing to see how that book because the book is about a journey that I went through, when I heard in a sermon on a Sunday morning. What is God doing in through you? and me being the good Christian girl, I wanted to say, I know what God's doing in and through me. So I'm a list maker. So I started making a list of what God was doing in and through me. But the problem was, it was all I am reading my Bible, okay, I am doing a Bible study, I am serving in a soup kitchen I am. And it was really humbling to look at that and go, holy cow, what am I allowing God to do? If I'm doing it all, where am I allowing God? Where's the Holy Spirit roaming in me? to guide me and what God wants to do in it through me. So the book is about that journey. So sitting with these girls at a table was humbling, and exciting and joyful to see what the Lord was doing through the words and the experience that he given me.

Yeah, that's really cool. I'm sure that had to be really strange though.

It was really strange. It was really strange. But it was very exciting to because through baseball chapel baseball chapel is an organization that does Bible studies and Sunday services for the guys but they also do a Bible study with the wives or the girlfriends. And so baseball chapel actually put out there that my book had been published. They, they gave it away at that they had. And so then I started getting messages from different major league and minor league baseball teams that were using my book as a Bible study within their organizations. And that was just like, wow, that that I wasn't a writer John, this is why this is so shocking to me. Through this spiritual experience of what is God doing in it through me? Yeah. God use that to bring me to writing that put this book together as an experience that I went through that got published. So yeah, it was nothing

you didn't set out to write a book originally.

No. This was absolutely all God. You know, I kept saying, what God, what do you want me to do for you today? And I've been writing devotions for baseball chapel, there's on baseball chapel.org you can get daily devotions from women's devotions or men's devotions. And I've been writing for the women's devotions for about 12 years but I did not consider myself a writer. It was just one a month there you know, whenever I could and but the Lord was like, I want you to write and I'm like, okay, Lord at think you're joking because I'm from North Carolina. We don't even speak English. They are no less write it. So I think you picked the wrong girl. You know, these are the conversations I have with the Lord, which is quite funny. This has been my whole life talking to Jesus. So So this book, seeing what God was doing with it was like, not of me. It wasn't I I know that I wrote those words. I know that I did it all on my own. But I didn't. Because each day that I went in to write the words of the experience I had gone through ask the Lord to pour into me what he wanted others to hear. Yeah. And that was very, very humbling.

Yeah. And I, I must say that as a guy, before meeting you and getting to know you, I really didn't think about the players wives. They go through these conversations, though. And you know, you've introduced me to some of your friends. Yeah. It's really eye opening. And so you think about these these players, but like, their wives are taking care of their kids, sometimes, so very much alone. Yeah. And you just your heart breaks for them. And it's like, wow, the fact that you're able to be there Billy to help these girls is a remarkable mission field that God has called you into.

It truly is once David and I committed our lives to Christ and knew that we were going to work for the Lord. Instead of men or working for the Lord and not for men, right? That's when David's career really changed. And my place in his career really changed to serve the Lord where we were, we were working for God. And we felt that God had called us to baseball not just because of David's career and being in the big leagues, and, you know, all the really cool stuff we've gotten to experience. Over the years, we've lived in 15 different cities and towns in the US Dominican Republic, Venezuela, like, I'm a little farm girl from North Carolina, like, that doesn't happen. That's not normal. You know, we were able to experience a World Series in 2004 with the Boston Red Sox like we were in the clubhouse. It was, it was a lot of really cool stuff, right? But once we gave our lives to the Lord, it was like, okay, Lord, you put us here as a mission field. This is where you want us to work for you not just for career, but for you not just for a paycheck but for you and the glory that the Lord has gotten through that has been Absolutely amazing. I will say about the baseball wives because the wives are usually pushed aside a lot because the guys are famous or you know, especially in the big leagues, but also in the minor leagues, once you're playing professional baseball, they get a platform. They are the center of attention. The wives and girlfriends, some moms and dads get pushed to the back. I will say this is one of the most amazing group of human beings that I've ever been around because most of us have four plus years of education after high school. Many of us had very strong careers that we were thriving in before we decided to take a step back, to be at home with our children to be able to support our husbands in the moves. I say that baseball wives have so many jobs that we're not really sure what our job is because we're moms, right we set up houses we set up rentals, we set up travel, we pay we unpack we move. We correspond with everyone that wants to get in touch with our husbands. We're ticket sales people because people call us for tickets. We are financial advisors. We take care of charity events and personal, you know, appearances. The wives are the epicenter of everything we can help our husbands with, so that they can do their job between those lines. Yeah, that is, so for baseball wives, they are one of the strongest group of submissive wives and that word has I've always struggled with, because I always felt like submissive Went, went along with laying down and getting stepped over like the rug at the front of your door. People brush your feet off of you and keep walking. That's not what baseball wives are. It is a submissive group of women that know that only with their help and their guidance, and the support can their husbands become all that they can become in their career? And as players, they have such a short time of availability to do that. Very true, yeah, that these wives sacrifice a lot for these guys to be able to have that opportunity. So the this group of women are some of the strongest, most intelligent, most giving human beings that I've ever met. And I just love on these girls, because I know how they're giving up so much. Not living near family with their little kids raising their kids, mostly on their own, you know, not, and our husbands are great. We always talk about quality time versus quantity of time. Sure. So yeah, I could brag on my girls all day

long. So that's great. It's

a great group, great group of girls in baseball.

So you've been a real Representative of Jesus for them. I have to say,

I pray.

Yes. Teaching them how to hear God speak to them. So how does God speak to you? And do you remember the first Nick that you realize that God was speaking to you?

You know, the funny thing is I know God spoke to me when I was little, but I didn't know that it was gone. Okay. You know, like, like I said before, I've always been prayerful, but I didn't know it was prayer. At times, I thought I was a little crazy, because I'd asked, you know, I'd pray, knowing that I was sort of talking to God, but then that instinctive knowing of doing the right thing or the wrong, you know, I just, I know that God taught to me when I was young. But to really say that a full on God experience of knowing that God was guiding and leading me was when David when Dave and I both committed our lives to Christ and knew that we were, you know, really giving all Jesus, and we knew that we were, you know, we were this was a commitment that was real and deep. And then I felt like it was not an audible voice but a definite guidance and God's voice the thing that I know it was God's voice because a lot of times the girls will ask me, How do you know it's really God talking to you? Like, you get this gut feeling like how do you know it's the Lord? And just at our last Bible study, we had this discussion that, you know, it's from the Lord when you're in His Word, because you're understanding who God is. You know him better. You know his word, you know, what is said in the Bible. Therefore, when you feel you're having one of those gut feelings, you base it on, is it biblical or not? Yeah, and that's where you know that God's talking to you, when it's a biblical understanding that gut feeling that knowing that it is a The Lord because you've read it in the Bible, because the Bible may have been written a long time ago. But it is so relevant to everything today.

Absolutely. So yeah, yeah. You mentioned earlier that you had somebody tell you that God couldn't love a girl like you. Yeah. How did you learn that? God did love a girl like you?

Oh, wow.

You know, I think

the one scripture that got me the most was when I read that, that were made in the image of God. And that confused me. Because I'm like, there is zero way this chick right here is made in the image of God. Loud out you know, I'm outgoing, active and at that point, I had only known God is sitting on a high altar that you couldn't go near him in a sense, and that was my understanding. I am sure my church growing up taught me more about Jesus. And you know, it was a great church. It's still a great church in my little hometown. It is a beautiful church, they teach the love of Jesus there. But it wasn't something that I grabbed on to. So not until that scripture where I was reading that I was made in the image of God. And I read more about was everybody in the image of God or just just who God chose me in the image of God, and it says, All were made in the image of God. And I was like, really like, God. God can like somebody like me. Because if he doesn't like me, doesn't like himself. Like, how can God not like him? So how can God create something? He doesn't? Like, and so that started me in that feeling of how God might like me. And then I started reading the Bible more, and I started reading about the love of Christ, and how God loves us, and that love and all of a sudden I'm like, wow, maybe God doesn't just like me. Maybe he really does love me. And so that just set me into reading scripture in a deeper way of Okay, am I being silly here? Am I really reading this right and, and I started asking other people and who I felt had such a deeper relationship with Christ. You know, because when I first came to Christ, I'm like, I'd go to my friend a grant and be like, Listen, I need prayer for this. Can you pray? She's like, No, you can pray. I'm like, No, but you're closer to Jesus. She goes, you're just as close. And I was like, how am I just as close? You've been a Christian so much longer than I have, like, she said, because you have a relationship with him. Talk to me. Yeah, asking town. talked to him. And I'm like, and you know, and that was that whole process of Wow, he you know, he is listening and, and then understanding that I had already been talking to Christ this whole time. And I didn't even realize it. So yeah, so going back to that you're made in the image of Christ. And and then to also understand the scripture of how much God loves us, and how Christ died on the cross. Not just because some bad guys beat him up and throw him up there. He died because he loved us so much and wanted us forgiven. And he sacrificed himself for the forgiveness of our sins. That was powerful for me.

Yeah, once you really got that really got that for you from me, because he loved you.

Yeah. Because I thought he did it for other people. Yeah, he died on the cross for anger because she's a good Christian. Like, you know, I was always thinking of other people rather than what God hit done for me.

Yeah, I'm I'm very glad that God use that to heal that that will Yeah, that lie that had

been absolutely. And I can laugh at it now where it used to crush me right? I can actually laugh at it now and think oh Lord you even used that he even used that you know that woman that I trusted that you know, that I knew and and he used that hard lie to create who I am in him now. And that still blows me away you know that he used so much of the negative of my past and of my you know, hardships and my hurts and all my you know, hang ups that I had throughout the years he's used all of those for good, and probably still will use a few more that I haven't totally revealed yet, or he hasn't revealed to me yet.

Why? love that God uses the very thing that the devil meant to destroy us amen to turn around and use her for His glory. And I think because of the fact that you had that battle that you had to deal with that, that is something that you hold on to even stronger. Now your identity in Christ is something that you You're, you're not going to let go of that your absolute you're not going to deal with a doubt of that. Where if that was never Yeah, never shaken before.

Exactly. And I think in overcoming that it's so nice to be able to say to a girl that walks up to me or a woman that walks up to me when I'm speaking or anywhere else. And say to me, Oh, I'm so glad the Lord loves you so much and be able to say to them, He loves you too. You know, and so many times you'll hear people go, huh? You don't know my past. You don't know what I've done. You don't know? No, I don't. But God already does. And he still loves you.

We can take that the love of God for granted.

So much. So much.

Yeah, Billy, where in your life as you look back? What are some of those moments that you realize that your heart was burning within you because Jesus was right there with you. But you didn't realize it at that at that moment.

I think so many times over my life.

To be going to have to think about this another second here.

I'm going to

I'm going to share about a time that I really felt like Jesus was burning in my heart, and I didn't know it was when our marriage was broken. And I didn't want our marriage to. I didn't want to be separated. I didn't want to have to have a divorce, but I didn't know how to make our marriage better. We had grown apart so far apart. And it wasn't any one thing that had happened. It wasn't any Horrible accusation or hurt. It was just a lot of little stuff that we allowed to happen over time. And I remember just thinking at that time and praying at that time, Lord, if you can just give me an idea of how I can be a better person, how can I be better? And that was what took me this was before I gone back to church. That's what took me to the counselor of really wanting to know how to be a better person. And it took an atheist counselor to send me to church, to see that it was Jesus that wanted to make me better than what I was. And in that I started working on me with the Lord and asking the Lord how I could be a better person. And in that, in that burning in my heart of that desire to want to be better, in that it changed to Christ changed who I was not. not who I was at the core, okay? But the actions that I was putting forth the words I was speaking, the the unkind gestures, the accusations I throat my husband the main things I would say to him the pushing him away when he wanted to be kind, you know all those types of things that in that God really pulled me to a place of putting, putting me back together to be the person that he had created, rather than the person that I had created. And in that it turned my husband back to our marriage of wanting to know how I had changed because the change was so good. It was so peaceful. It was so joyful. It was so honoring and loving. And he wanted to know what that was. So it was a a time of repairing all The damage that had been done over my life to me or by me, okay? And allowing God to heal me and put me back together to be the person that he had what's created?

Kind of along that same lines, I like asking this question if you could go back in time and visit your younger self, you know, visit Billy from the past. And I like to ask what if you could give yourself some advice? What's going on in your life at that time that you want to intersect? And you want to say, Billy here that you need this piece of advice right now? It could be anywhere along along your timeline. Just kind of curious as to what advice you would give yourself

I think I'd go back to even being a little girl because so many times in my life and I don't know if this is common with everybody I know it is with a handful of people that have shared it with me but allowing others words to change who we are You're too loud, you're too boisterous, you're too loving. You're too kind to people, you let people take advantage of you, cuz you're too kind. And that would make me try to be mean to people where I'm not a mean hearted person. And I think just going back to the little girl and me just saying, be who God created you to be, be that. I mean, be honoring and respectful and you know, some of the things that I was told being loud now, I was the baby of eight kids who grew up on a farm. I just was conditioned to be loud. But it is part of my personality, you know, John 1010, you know, God's come to give us life and deliver it to the fullest, right? You know, the enemy comes to kill, steal and destroy, but God gives us life to live it to the fullest and I try to live life to the fullest every day. When I was a child, I live life to the fullest every day and there was a time that I loud others me myself to beat me down. Emotionally to not do that. And I feel like I missed out on so many opportunities to really enjoy life where I found myself sad and depressed and lonely and frustrated and angry, and you know, just not who God created me to be. So I really think that's where I'd go back to that little girl and just be who God created you to be in an honoring and respectful way, but be who God's created you to be.

Do you think that little girl would listen to the advice of older Billy?

I would hope so. I wish I had had someone tell me I didn't have to be what other people want me to be. I think it would have helped me. I think I would have listened to God more and not people. And I think people can be harsh and you know, and controlling and trying to create people to be who they think they should be, rather than allowing them To be who God created them to be. And I'm sitting here laughing because I sort of wish I had told my children that we have three boys. They're all adults now. And I really allow I feel like I love them that they may tell you a different story because I'm a mom. So of course, I discipline them and all that, but I really allowed them to love the things they wanted to love and do the things they wanted to do when they committed to something they had to finish it. But it wasn't for a lifetime you know, if they didn't you know, if they didn't like something to eat, I didn't make them eat it. They had either vegetables, you know what I mean? It's like, you sort of give them a little bit of free will in a sense. But I tell the story often now that all three of our boys are in baseball that I should have told them that I didn't love them and baseball is evil. So that their their future wives which none of them have a wife yet, but their future wives wouldn't have to live this crazy baseball life but

you help them

with so I love my children. really honor who God created them to be. And and there were different paths at times that they thought they wanted to go down and, and they tried to go down I mean doors would shut and then they refocus and get to where I can say now I feel like all three of my boys are exactly where God intends them to be and, and I just that's a blessing. That's a huge blessing. So, yeah.

So your book making room? Yes, doing less of that God can do more. Yes. How is God speaking that to you right now?

It is so funny people often ask me so once you wrote your book, did you go back and read it? And I'm like, Yeah, like yesterday, because life can get so busy and overwhelming and you know, you can have so many distractions going on your life. My husband told me at one point, it's a story I tell in the book of how I was so overwhelmed and frustrated, I'm like, Oh, I got so much going on. I don't know what to do. I'm just, I'm so over scheduled at can't deal with anything. And, and so please pray that I can figure out how to get everything in line. And so we talked through, we thought of a few things that I could take out of my schedule. And then about three or four days later, I come in with a good God opportunity. I love opportunity. And so I'm like, honey, this is great God opportunity. I really feel like God wants me to do it. And he goes, you've got the right hand Central. Like the right hand syndrome. He goes, Yeah, every time about somebody asked for a volunteer, you stick up your right hand, I'll do it. So this is part of who God's made me. But I have to discern what is good god things to do, and what are the good things God intends me to do? So to get some of those distractions out of my life, and I have to revisit that book, a lot of, you know, doing less so that God can do more and in doing less and Really getting those distractions out of my life, those extra things that God's not calling me to do, I'm just doing it because I think I should, that really allows a place for the Holy Spirit to roam within me and to and to guide and show me, you know what God really wants me to do and how he wants me to do that. So,

yeah, how have you seen God's faithfulness as you have done less, so that he can do more?

Oh, my goodness, um,

because that's that's always our big fears. Because it's like, well, if I let this thing go, and I let God have it, then that means I'm not in control of it anymore. Yeah. And rely on his faithfulness.

Yeah. So as in the experience of the experience that I went through the eventually led to a book. I was at the point of my baby boy going into a senior year of high school. I was so afraid that I wasn't going to have a life after my children were out of the house because I had given up my career early on as an ice You nurse to be able to follow my husband around and help, you know help in that. And so I was like to I go back to school, do I do this? Do I do that, you know, I was all over the place. And one day I saw that a friend was, had been contracted for a book called write a novel in 10 minute increments Catherine grub, and she had put on Facebook, she was writing this book, it had been contracted, but she needed people to sort of guinea pig the book, you know, do the exercises, that type of thing. So me with the right hand syndrome, where did I say me? I'll do it. Well, at that same time that I started doing this with Catherine was when our church, the pastor, a church asked a question, what is God doing in and through you? And I saw I was doing all this stuff. And I thought, Oh, I should probably let Catherine's thing go. But in those prayers, the things that I was writing that I really felt that the Lord was using to help guide us Lead me that was one of the things was to continue doing those writing exercises. As I decreased all the things that I was doing to and those writing exercises the Lord spoke to me that he wanted me to write for him started a blog uh huh one thing at a time and that's really going back is looking at starting small but believing big, okay start with the small beginnings that God puts in front of you believe that God can do whatever God desires to do and and through it and continue to take that one step of faith at a time and that's what I did. And so in that releasing some of this stuff, I released a couple of Bible studies I released some of the volunteering at my kids school. It was senior year Should I step back and not serve in this way Shouldn't you know all I cut out on a few lunches with friends I've really narrow down where God wanted me to be and in that I decided to write a book proposal. And in that I decided to pitch it at a writers conference and in that it led, you know, to a book offer. And I was terrified, terrified because this wasn't the way I thought my life was gonna go like, this isn't what I wanted. So now I look back on all that and I see how God has taken, working in me, and working through me to glorify him in a way that he desired, which was immeasurably more than I could have ever imagined, wished or dreamed of. And God took it to to really create in me where he wanted me to be. And I look back on my life I've often said I never wanted right I never wanted but there are children's books that I have from when I was little were ahead stories I had written and Put in the books. I don't even remember writing them. Their prayers in prayer books that I wrote in my own handwriting. I don't remember writing them. So was this something that the Lord had put in my life as a child, but that I had nurtured that I hadn't pursued that I hadn't chosen to follow. But in this time of doing less, so God could do more. God brought a gift out in me that I didn't even remember that he had put in me all those years before. Now, I didn't find these writings and these prayers until after my book was released. Okay. So it wasn't like during this process, God revealed these things that I had confirmation. No, I took one step at a time I did the one next thing God was asking me to do in a very small way that he continued to open another door or provide more light to a city. situation that allowed me to see the immeasurably more that he could do in and through me without me even knowing that I was capable of doing anything like that. That's,

that's good. There's a lot to chew on and what?

Yeah, I mean, it just, it is that taking a step back? Yeah. And analyst maker. So you know, just taking a step back and looking at everything that you've got going on in your life, I had a conversation with someone the other night and they're like, I'm so overwhelmed. I've got so much going on. And then my husband decided to sign my kid up for little league. I don't need one more thing. And she said, what, what do I need to do? You raised three kids, how did you keep it all together? And I said, Do you realize what your stresses coming from? And she said, What? I said, you're over scheduled. Step back. I can't release any of that. And I'm like, you can. You can ask God what needs to be released. What doesn't Because all the things are causing you the stress and overwhelm feeling in your life is because you're not following the path God desires to have you follow. Yeah. You know, I have friends that have great salaries, and they worry about money. And then I traveled to the Dominican Republic and I walk in a house of people that make three to $5 a day.

And they have the joy of the Lord and

you know, the peace beyond all understanding their prayers, their Thanksgiving. It's powerful. It's not from their circumstances. It's not from their finances. It's from Jesus. Yeah. And so, when we look at why are we overwhelmed and overstressed because we're doing too much. We've just added too much into our lives. We are overspending if you have a problem with finances when you have a decent salary. You're overspending, you know, I've been there before. know because I've done it before. If you are overwhelmed and over scheduled, it's because you have the right hand syndrome, or you can't say no to your kids, you know, and we all have to take a step back and really look at where does God want us what is going to bring him the most glory? And what is going to bring our family the most peace? And that's, yeah,

that's it. That's the point.

That's the point. I mean, and it seems simple. I know. It's not that simple. Don't get me wrong. Right now I have a room that looks like a tornado is gone through it because I'm starting to pack to pack up an apartment to head back to Florida for our offseason. I feel overwhelmed and stressed until I take a step back and say, okay, Lord, where do I start? And I start with one thing. one small thing. Yeah. And then God takes me to the next one. And am I standing there? You know, one of the things I write about in the book is being a potato chip Christian. Potato Chip Christian is when we sit on the couch with a bag of chips. And we just keep eating chips going, Okay Lord, move. Okay, Lord, speak to me. Okay, Lord, do whatever you want to do. But we're not moving. We're not doing. We're not taking a step in faith. We're not reading our Bibles to see where God wants us to be. We're not doing something in that forward movement to allow God to pull us in the direction he wants us. So we can't sit on the couch and eat chips and ask God to move in our lives. We have to be taking a step into faith. Yeah, just that one small step. That's great.

That one small step is a big deal with a deal. One small step of making a list. Yeah, to put your priorities in order. Sometimes that small step is making your bed in the morning. That's something that God spoke to me about years ago. And I'm diligent, I make my bed every single day. And it's a good habit. But it helps get things in line. That is something that I know God told me to do.

And it's also out of obedience, like when God asked you to do something. Okay, so the whole writing thing, 12 years of writing devotions didn't consider myself a writer started writing a blog, didn't consider myself a writer got a book deal, didn't consider myself a writer, had a book published, could not call myself an author. And all of a sudden I'm like, okay, I've spoken about this before. I've written about this before. It's called delayed obedience. But delayed obedience is only one thing. It's in disobedience. You're sending your disobedient to what God's called you to do. How do you expect God to do great things in your life? And I'm not talking materialistic great things. I'm not talking financial great things. I'm talking about The movement of God in your life, how do you expect God to do big things in and through you? If you're not moving? Right, it's all a forward motion, there's going to be some back steps, there's going to be some things that happen that set you back. But in those, those are great opportunities to. Because when you fail at something or things don't go the way that you think they should. There's such an opportunity to learn how to redirect that. Yeah. And to go back to God and say, okay, Lord, that didn't work out the way I thought it would. Where do you want me now? What's the one step? Where do I? What is the one small thing I'm going to start with? believing in the big things that you can do? And then go at it again?

Yeah. Billy, what's a life verse that you've been holding on to?

Oh my gosh.

So I think we had this discussion in our wives Bible study, not long ago. Okay. And one of the things that I love to tell girls is, is that I don't believe God gives you one verse for your entire life.

I agree with that. Yes, I agree with that.

However,

when you're going through something when you're digging into something, and you really need to know and you go to the Bible, and I'll tell girls A lot of times, just say a prayer, open your Bible, close your eyes, open your Bible and stick your finger on it, start reading, God's gonna reveal something to you and that and that might be a verse that you can cling to, during that of where you're going. One of the verses that, you know, over my lifetime, Jeremiah 2911, for I know the plans that I know that for I know the plans I have for you says the LORD, plans to prosper you and not to harm you. That's one that I cling to a lot

over a life.

Second Timothy 110

That God did not give us a spirit of fear.

But of love,

and of power and of sound mine, I've had to cling to that many a time where I wonder if I'm going crazy. If I'm losing it, if I'm a little too depressed and sad, if I'm a little too joyful or unrealistic, and I had to go back that God has given me love and power and so on. And I have to clean to that. And I may not be pulling that scripture out exactly as it is. But honestly, the power in the sound mind is two of the things that hit me the most that God has given me as power. When we read in Scripture about God's power. It's the same power that he gave when he rose Jesus from the dead.

Yeah, that same power that rose from the dead lives in us

lives in us. And that power is what you can plug into. Yeah, like we live in Florida. When hurricanes come power goes out. There's a generation Are you plugged into the generator right when you need it? God's generators always there waiting for you. There is always a power source that you can claim two occasions. 320 is what my book is based on, you know the immeasurably more that God desires to do in and through us. And I that is a big one to me. It's not a materialistic God wants to bless me in any other, you know, bigger way than anybody else. But God wants to put blessings in my life, to pour out to others. And he wants to bless me so that I can bless others. That's a handshake and eye contact a hug. conversation, just letting people know they're seeing you know, and so so many different verses. I've just you know, Zachariah for 10 about, you know, the small beginnings and you know, it just so many different verses. So if I had to choose one, I don't know that I could say just

one

I love that God speaks is so that God can speak a word throughout our whole life. But he can also speak a word that you need to hold on to for that that particular season. And I love that. You reference the second Timothy, verse about God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and a sound mind. And that's one of the verses that I've held on to for a difficult season in my life. Where I was fearful. Yeah, not a lot of stuff. And I didn't have a sound mind. And I just claimed on to that. cling on to that.

You didn't have a sound mind because God had already given it. He had it. He had it in his possession for you. It was here. He had given it to you didn't have to have it. He had it there waiting for you. Yeah, anytime. And that I think that's the thing that I feel like sometimes in the scriptures is like, it's not really for me, like, Oh, I see have a sound mind for me. Like Jesse, Jesse. And that's where that clinging to the scriptures. Is that claiming it for the I'm claiming it as a gift from God, this is my gift from Jesus, that he's giving me this. And if he's going to entrust me with it, I'm going to bring it forth. I'm going to make sure that I am making it happen. I happen kind of first. I'm sitting here thinking now everybody thinks I'm some gone. Oh, wow, you know, but it is it's like, gosh, if God's gonna entrust me with my children, then I'm going to glorify Him to my children. If God's going to interest me in my marriage to my husband, I'm going to do everything I can to show the love of Christ to my husband. If God's in trusting us with being with the Pittsburgh Pirates or any other team we've ever been with or will be in the future. I'm going to cling to that and show the love of Christ through that. And that I think, is that forward motion of always moving with Christ in any opportunity that he gives.

Billy I always enjoy our times. together and I want to I want to give you an opportunity to talk about your how people can find your book. You got a new podcast, I hate your website. Can you just kind of give us a Billy Joel's commercial?

Yeah, so you can find everything above on Billy Joel's calm and that's bi Ll iE JAUS is in SAM s as in SAM. com, Billy Joel, calm. You can find everything there. My podcast has launched. It's called start small, believe big. And really, this is where the Lord is really focusing me on right now. And the podcast on Tuesday releases with an interview of a special guest and then on Thursday, I do a one thought Thursday where we just dig into one thought one scripture one thing that the Lord wants to put on our heart for that day, and my book making room doing less so God can do more can be found on Amazon on my website, at blog on my website, I also do speaking engagements. I'd love to get and meet people and talk. And absolutely, you know, I love being with people. And that's one of the things that I think writing is so scary about because you do it alone, you know, but when I speak, I love going and just meeting a full room of people. My husband always jokes that if I walk into a room of 500 people I meet 499 before I walk out, and I do I just love loving on people. So any speaking engagements that people want me to come and hang out at their church, I'd love to do that, or any event they have. So yeah, everything can be found there and on my website and on Facebook and

Instagram and all that to

make sure to put that information in the show notes. there too. So really, any final thoughts before we wrap up here,

I just want to thank you. I want to thank you for being obedient to God and doing what God has called you to do. launching this podcast and being faithful in it and obedient in it and I just thank you for being such a strong man of God and Continuing to do what he's called you to do. So thank you. Thank you for

the opportunity of being here with you.

I appreciate that. Thank you very much, Billy. Thank you for allowing me to join you along your way.