Combating Anxiety and Depression with Max Lucado - Just In Case You Ever Feel Alone

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Max Lucado, it's great to have you here and to be able to talk about your brand new book,

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just in case you ever feel alone. And I got to say that I love this book. I love this whole concept

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of we are not alone, that God is always with us. And that as I'm not a parent yet, but I believe

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that that day is coming very soon. My wife and I are believing for children. And knowing that

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there's the papa bear that is or the mama bear that is telling their child that they're never

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going to be alone. That is such an important thing. And it has been in my life too. So welcome to the

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podcast. Thank you so much. It's really a really a joy to see you and to hear you and trust that

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all is going well. I agree with you. I just think the challenge of parenting today is more intense

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than it was when I was raising my daughters. My daughters all have kids of their own now.

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And I watched the challenges that young people face. There's a unique set of circumstances

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that are making it difficult for parents to parent, as well as children to grow up with

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a sense of peace about them. Yeah. So I mean, you've written so many books. What made you

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decide that you wanted to write a children's book specifically? Because there's other ways

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you can address with this. But I think you could write a book to the parents, but you just you

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chose to write a book to children. And it was just a beautiful book. The illustrations are very,

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I can't wait to read this to my kids. So tell me about your inspiration for this book.

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And I'm confident that you will someday. You know, many years ago, about 25 years ago,

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I wrote my first children's book, and it's called Just in Case You Ever Wonder. And it really

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resonated with parents. It gave parents a pledge that they could recite or read to their children.

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And it has had a wonderful, wonderful life continues to be used and sold. And so this idea

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is to create a more specific pledge that we can articulate to our kids in this felt need,

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a very real felt need of feeling lonely. There are statistics that are just mind boggling

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right now. I read one the other day that everybody that showed young people born since 1996

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are facing unprecedented levels of anxiety and loneliness and depression. The challenge of

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creating community in our social media day and our technology day. You know, every single one of us

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has had the situation where you go into a restaurant and you look over and there's four

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young people sitting at the same table, but they're not talking. They're not talking. They're

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they're all on their phones. And so this phone generation that we've created, this social

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media generation, what's going underdeveloped, what's going under cultured and cultivated

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as they spend so much time interacting in this unusual day of keyboards and images, you know.

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So the one of the downsides, one of the products is you can't hug a phone, right? You can't find

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intimacy or comfort in a laptop or a video screen. And so the result is we have a population of just

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lonely kids. And so one of the things that we parents, we grandparents, we aunts and uncles,

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big sister, big brother, what we need to do is to articulate for our children this promise that

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though you feel alone, you're not alone and articulate that to them. I think that's the

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that's the objective of this book. And that's one of the assignments that parents have today.

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Yeah. You know, Max, as I was just thinking about this book and knowing that, you know,

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just in case you ever feel alone, you know, that that whole concept of being alone,

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I went through a lot of fears as a kid. One of the biggest fears that I had was that my house

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was going to burn down. I had seen a video like a child safety, you know, fire safety video,

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and really traumatized me for some reason. And my mother shared this verse with me.

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And it's Isaiah 41 13. At least I think it was this one. There's probably other

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versions in the Bible that says something similar. But it says, For I am the Lord your God,

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who takes hold of your right hand and says to you, Do not fear, I will help you. Now,

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my mother turned that into a little song. And that song has continually come to me whenever I've

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needed that gentle reminder that still small voice. Tell me about a time where you felt alone,

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but then you felt the presence of the Holy Spirit reminding you that you're not alone.

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Right. And what a beautiful thing your mother did. What a beautiful thing. You see what happens,

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and I'll answer your question here in just a second, but just to unpack what happened to you.

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Okay. So there was an event, you saw a video of a burning house. Okay. Our default reaction

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is to turn any event into an untruth. To say, Okay, since I saw that video, it's just a matter

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of time until my house explodes. And that's not true. That's not true. But we have a default

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assumption that something bad is going to happen. That then leads to a false narrative. My house is

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about to burn down, right? Or just a matter of time until I die in a fire. And then that leads

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to an overreaction. And these thought cycles would get in. We can't get out of them. And so what your

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mom did is she interrupted that process. Always call it the UFO because it's untruth leads to

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false narrative, which leads to an overreaction. This UFO landed in your world, and you did what

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we all do. You reacted to it. Now what your mom did, which is so great, is she interrupted that

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cycle. She gave you a tool, a verse, a Bible verse, and said, now every time those thoughts

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surface, just think about this verse. There's no greater thing she could have done for you.

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Books like the ones I write, they're intended to do the same, to speak truth into these untruths

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that come into our world. It's not hard for a young person, for a child to assume I'm all by myself.

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You know, my daughter, who lives just 10 minutes from me, she has for many years cared for foster

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children. And you just see the fear on their faces. You know, these little precious children

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who've gone through such trauma that is of no fault of their own. And they always come with,

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you know, inhibited speech patterns or self harm. There's some way this is playing itself out

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in their lives because there's this fear of being alone. And it's a major challenge and a major

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assignment that parents have to speak truth into that untruth and allow God to do his work. Jesus

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said, you shall know the truth and then the truth shall set you free. But you got to know the truth

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first, right? Right. Right. And that's what mom did. And that's why that's a perfect illustration

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of what I'm hoping will happen as a result of this book. Yeah. So tell me a story about your own life

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where you needed that. And then the Holy Spirit reminded you of the truth. Okay. How about two or

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three days ago? You know, I we in full disclosure here, I'm battle wanting people's approval.

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And don't know exactly where that came from. But I have made great progress with the help of the

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Holy Spirit, but it still flares up. And for some reason, one day last week, and it had to do with

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social media, there was a discussion going on on a particular topic, and I realized I was not included.

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Some colleagues of mine were organizing an event and I was not included. Now, John, I'm, my next

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birthday has 70 count candles on the cake. Right. I should be beyond this by now. But I reacted like

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an adolescent, you know, well, why didn't they include me? Did I make somebody mad? No fair. I'll

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make a nose set of friends. You'd have thought I was a middle schooler the way I was reacting.

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The difference is I went to the Lord and I said, Jesus, tell me where's this coming from? What's

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the root that's causing this sour fruit? And he revealed to me that I still continue to base

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my confidence upon the applause and approval of people, which is disastrous because you cannot

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control the applause and approval of people. Absolutely. And so I needed that reminder. And

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I confess that to Jesus. And the next day I was fine. I was back to normal. It was a really gift,

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a wonderful gift on his part. Again, the key is to try to get as quickly as possible where we apply

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truth to whatever it is has stirred the feelings that we have. Feelings are feelings are just

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emotions. And they can be created by a lot of different things. Our physical bodies, the health,

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I'm sorry, the weather or the way people are acting around us. We can control that,

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but we can control the opportunity we have to speak truth. And that's what this book is intended to

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do. So you just mentioned about social media and there was a conversation that was happening

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kind of outside of you. And that caused a feeling of loneliness in a way, because you were feeling

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excluded. I know there's so much of that that's happening in our online world. What can people do

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that are active on social media and things like that? How can we actually use these tools for good?

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How can we make sure that people are benefiting from the things that we're putting out there?

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Yeah, because I think social media is not going to go away, but there's a way that we can use it for

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the glory of God. For the individual, let's address this first individual, then parents.

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And then what we can do for others. As an individual, I think it's important for me to be

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careful how often I'm on my social media. Don't get sucked into that Bermuda triangle of Facebook,

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or Instagram, or TikTok, and spend minutes after minutes, hours after hours, like many people do,

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just reading and reading and reading. Limit yourself. We limit our kids, hopefully. Limit

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yourself. Give yourself five minutes. You can check everything you need to check in five minutes.

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Beyond that, you're just stirring up a lot of concern, or possibly even engaging in negative

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thought patterns. So put a limit on yourself. And then of course, we've got to put a limit on our

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kids. Our kids just are not emotionally able to manage what they can access on a phone.

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I mean, parents, if you're not limiting what your kids are seeing, you're really not doing your job.

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You have got to help them process. And you've got to be strong here. They're going to say,

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oh, I want to, I need to, I have to. No, they don't. No, they don't. There's a lot of wonderfully

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healthy kids growing up today who have never seen a social media feed, believe it or not. And so

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you've got to be really strong. And then those of us who are engaged in posting or sending out

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messages, let's send out good words, just good words, words of encouragement. Yeah, social media

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can be damaging, but you know what? You follow the right people and you're hearing words of truth

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from preachers, from songwriters, from singers, from ministers. You can hear, get some good stuff

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in your head through social media. So those of us who are involved in posting these messages,

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let's take full advantage of that and use it as a way to lift the spirits of the people who are

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reading what we post. Yeah. You know, Max, one of the things that I'd like to ask you is how has

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this book been received by your own children and grandkids? Well, if I can be honest, I've not had

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it just released today. Okay. Yeah. I can't wait to read it to them. I think they'll, I think

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they'll like it. Yeah. But I'm taking a copy home today, it'll be my first opportunity to share it

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with them. That'll be, that'll be great. That'll be good. And so when you're writing books like

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this, tell me about the process that you go through and how you are, tell me about the person you're

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writing this for. Yeah, I love writing children's books. You know, my other writing career is

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writing more hefty books for adults. I just finished a book on end times. And so those kind of

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books, you know, 20 times more work, 100 times more work, the children's books, and I've written a

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bunch of them by now. You just need one good idea. One good thing. Just in case you ever feel alone,

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there, I can work with that. And so I just get over in my corner in my office with a legal

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pad. I piddled with it. Should I, should we, you know, make the verses rhyme or should it just be a

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story? Where do I want the book to end? How do I want it to end? How many words do I get? I call

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the publisher. How many pages do I get? You know, get all the kind of the details, get the landscape

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figured out. And then I, then I start writing. And once, once I have the idea, it really, it's

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once I have the idea, it really doesn't take a long time to write. But I love to write for these

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little three, four, five, six year olds. That's typically the age for whom, for which I write in

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these, in these children's books. And I work with a tremendous publisher, the, the Laura Menchew and

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her team at Harper Collins Christian Publishing, they, they just do a masterful job and they find

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artists, right? I'm not charged with the design. And I think the artwork on this particular project

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really, really turned out great. Yeah. You know, Max, we've talked about loneliness in this whole

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conversation and how we can battle that and be by speaking the truth to it that we want to overcome

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those UFOs for sure. You know, and that just a couple of minutes that we have here, would you

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just pray for the people that are watching and listening that they would be impacted by knowing

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that they are not alone? It's a great honor to be with you today, by the way. I feel to say that

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earlier. Thank you so much for this privilege and God's riches. I know you work really hard. May the

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Lord give you a lot of energy and strength and hear the prayer you're praying for children.

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Father, I ask you to bless our brother, John, to hold him up, to lift him up. I know that

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he's got many demands on his time. Help him, Father, to sense your presence. We do pray,

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Father, for our children, our grandchildren, our nieces and nephews, those blessed children. You

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know, on one hand we see there's so much challenge happening and then we see these revivals break out

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on college campuses. They give us such hope and I'm hearing new statistics that the young generation

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is hungry for Christ, hungry for hope. So that gives us great. Lord, you're forever in control,

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forever in control. We may feel overwhelmed by this social media era that we live in, but you're not.

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You saw it long before it came and so we thank you knowing that you're the one in control. And

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today if anybody feels alone, help them to know, Lord, just in case you feel alone, that there is a

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God who cares for you and he will bring supernatural comfort, comfort that every person needs.

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Thank you, Father, for hearing our prayer today. In Jesus' name, amen. Amen. Amen. Max, thank you

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so much for talking to you, John. It's been a pleasure to have you too, Max. Thank you very much.

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All right. And just in case you ever feel alone by Max Lucado, check it out and get it for a kid

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that you really care about.