God Can Renew Your Mind, Sydney Tooman Betts’ Story

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Hey friends, I love a good story, especially when it's a God story.

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I love to hear how God takes ordinary women and does extraordinary things in, for, and

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through them.

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I'm your host, Jodie Chiricosta, ministry leader at Somebody Cares America International, author

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and traveler on this journey of faith, and I've got a story that will equip, inspire,

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and encourage you in your walk with the Lord.

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So welcome.

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I am so glad you tuned in.

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Have you heard of our Her God Story podcast clubs?

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It's an easy way to gather together a few friends, neighbors, or colleagues to talk and

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encourage each other in your journey of faith.

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It's very simple.

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Listen to the same episode, download our prepared episode questions from hergodstory.org, and

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then discuss over your favorite refreshments.

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And it's a great way to reach out to friends who don't yet know Christ.

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Include them in the conversation and see what God will do.

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Reading to an episode takes much less time than reading most books, and we think you'll

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have a lot of takers.

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So gather some friends and try it out.

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When you do, email us at prayer at somebodycares.org to let us know so we can be praying for you.

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Romans 12:2 in the NIV instructs us, do not be conformed to the pattern of this world,

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but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.

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Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is, His good, pleasing, and perfect

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will.

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I also like the New Living Translation.

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It says it like this, don't copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform

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you into a new person by changing the way you think.

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Then you'll learn to know God's will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect.

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God is telling us to be very wary of what we see and hear coming from the world.

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Don't adopt their way of thinking, responding, and behaving.

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It's tough.

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Peer pressure, social media pressure, cultural norms all tell us to do whatever pleases us,

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to feed our carnal nature.

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But God says, don't believe it.

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Let me transform you by renewing your mind so you think and act more like Jesus.

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Sydney Tumen Betts has been on that journey of transformation and knows the freedom and

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peace it brings.

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Sydney is a Christian fiction author with six books under her belt.

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Her first series, The People of the Book, has three books.

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Her current series, Phoebe's Mysteries, also has three with a fourth in the works.

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Sydney is also an ESL teacher, a wife, and the grateful mother of two adult children.

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Welcome Sydney.

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Hello.

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Sydney, you were raised going to a Lutheran church and even went to a parochial school,

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but Christ was not really a central part of your family's life.

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Tell us a little bit about your growing up years and what prompted you to become a Christian.

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Well, it's not always wonderful what prompts you to become a Christian, but I was very

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competitive with my sister and I heard my mother tell my father that my sister read

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the Bible for half an hour a day.

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So I said, well, then I'm going to read the Bible for an hour a day.

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And that's what got me reading the Bible.

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Now, in the parochial school that I went to, I did, there was, we did read stories about

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Jesus all the time.

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So there in school was a heavy Jesus influence.

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And I even felt like I could feel him with me during Bible stories.

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So I started reading the Bible in my, I think I was 14.

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And it just, the word is living and active, sharper than any two ed sword.

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It really changed me.

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And it brought me to the point where I wanted to give my heart to him.

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It convicted me and showed me that I wasn't the good person that I thought I was and that

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I needed a savior.

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Yeah.

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So you told me that what you were, you were sitting in a park on a park bench reading

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and all of a sudden the conviction of the Holy Spirit came on you.

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Share a little bit about that.

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Well, it wasn't really sudden.

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It had been building up because once I started reading the Bible, I started to see the difference

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between what I thought of myself and the standards Jesus had in the Bible, you know, the way

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he was in the Bible.

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It was just very clear that I wasn't a good person I thought I was.

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And I came across verses like, if you're ashamed of me, you know, my father in heaven will

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be ashamed of you.

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And I definitely wouldn't have been caught dead taking a Bible to my high school or anything

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like that.

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And I'd been reading the Psalms, Psalm 25, which is, in my opinion, particularly intimate,

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really struck me.

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And up to that point, I kind of looked at God as like a benign authority figure, kind

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of like a high school principal.

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Well, I didn't, that didn't register.

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You know, it didn't seem like anything I particularly wanted.

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But David, the way his relationship was with Jesus in Psalm 25, I wanted that.

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So I told him that, hey, if you'll make yourself known to me the same way you did to David,

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you can have my whole life.

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And I don't know how I knew that I was born again exactly.

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I had read John chapter three, but I just knew in my heart that I was born again and

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I was totally changed.

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I went home and told everybody I knew about Jesus.

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I didn't care about being made fun of as a Christian in my high school.

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I would take my Bible with me.

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So it was, that's remarkable.

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I mean, you know, a lot of people, they have someone share the gospel with them and pray

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with them, lead them in a sinner's prayer, but that's not the way God always works.

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You know, he showed himself to you just by reading the Bible all by yourself.

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But you know, once you made that decision to follow Christ, you were all in pretty quickly.

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You got connected to a group of people who were also sold out for Jesus.

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And that was, you know, several years that you were involved with that group, sharing

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your testimony, almost like the Jesus revolution movie that we that's been in the theaters

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recently share about that time.

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Well, I was this, I got saved during the summer.

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I gave my heart to the Lord during the summer, July 8.

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Then when the school, I didn't know any Christians.

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I didn't know anybody that I knew churchgoers, but I didn't know anyone that actually was

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serving Jesus or particularly wanted Jesus.

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So when I went to school that next September, I ran into my sister-in-law and she had become

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part of a Jesus Freak group, exactly like you said, very much like the Jesus revolution.

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And she invited me to it and I was like, sure, that sounds great to me.

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And it was just a group of kids, most of them ex-hippies, that had given their hearts to

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the Lord and the Lord had really done a work in their heart.

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And all we wanted to do was live like the early church.

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And that was our model.

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So we would have Bible studies, go out and well, actually, we'd have we'd go out and

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witness and have Bible studies and bring people back to the house in order to share the Bible

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with them and share the gospel with them.

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And it grew and it flourished and it was wonderful for the first, say, four years.

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Yeah.

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So early on, that was really early on in your Christian walk, you were witnessing and sharing

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the Lord, but God was also changing your thinking and understanding of various ingrained worldly

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influences that we all are subjected to in life.

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You know, a common belief among so many is that we can earn our way to heaven.

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And when we accept Jesus' free gift of salvation, that mindset doesn't immediately change for

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everyone.

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Some people have that revelation right away, but some of us struggle.

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And we can even find that belief system perpetuated by other Christians who haven't had that revelation.

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You encountered that.

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Explain what happened and how God has renewed your mind in that area.

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Well, as the group continued, one man kind of took over the whole he took it and he kind

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of made it into his own little kingdom, frankly.

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And he set up a system.

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The group was kind of flagging and zeal, shall we say.

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And so he thought the system to set up to encourage us was to gather us all together

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in a group at this school.

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Before that, we've been out in all sorts of centers all over the Northeast United States,

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including Montreal.

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So he gathered us together in one place and he would start grading us.

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I don't remember whether it was once a week, once a month, or just every so often.

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But he would put us in tiers that were assigned by color and everybody would vote on who was

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very spiritual and who wasn't very spiritual.

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And of course, this didn't help.

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The theology of the group was that you were saved by grace, but the impression you had

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was then you better work like crazy in order to maintain your salvation.

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So the group really strayed away from the simple truth of the gospel and really became

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emotionally abusive.

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You were able to eventually get away from that group.

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A lot of people encounter various levels of manipulation from seemingly trustworthy leaders

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like you did.

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And that really shakes their faith in Christ because they equate that leader with Jesus.

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You did get free, but you also kept your faith strong.

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How did that happen?

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How did you do that?

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How did you manage that, Sydney?

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Well, I didn't really manage it.

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You know, God managed it for me, frankly.

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We were taught in this group that if we left the group, we'd leave Jesus.

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That those were the two choices, stay in the group or leave Jesus.

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And I didn't want to leave Jesus.

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But the leader of the group was saying things about me that didn't match what I knew to

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be true in my own heart.

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And so it came down to really a choice about sanity, you know, that I needed to get away.

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I could either embrace his thoughts about me or I could recognize my own thoughts, you

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know, that I'm thinking that they are actually there.

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So I left the group and the first time I left, they followed me.

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Then that week I learned of a different bus station that only went to the airports.

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And so I went there and my parents flew me home.

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And almost immediately I started going to Bible college because I didn't know what

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else to do.

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I didn't want to leave Jesus at all.

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And you know, I'd seen so many of my friends from the group leave the group and actually

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backslide and get into drugs and drinking and all sorts of things.

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Yeah.

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So we really have to understand our salvation and that we can't do anything to save ourselves

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or to earn God's grace.

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It is all grace from start to finish.

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We get saved by grace.

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We are maintained by grace and we need to offer that grace to others.

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Now it doesn't mean that we just go ahead and sin, you know, wherever we want.

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I mean, God says for me, I mean, Paul says in the scriptures, let it not be.

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Don't do that.

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But even though you left that group, Sydney, being in that environment for a while had

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reinforced some earlier learned patterns of superiority, so to say, let's say, how did

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that continue to affect you later?

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And what did God do to renew your thinking in that area as well?

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Before I answer that question, I just want to make a comment on what you just said.

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And that's that a lot of times the thinking is to put the cart before the horse.

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Yes, you do any tree, like if you plant an apple tree, it grows and you know it's an

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apple tree because it bears apples.

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If it is an apple tree, it bears apples.

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It doesn't matter if you took apples and hung them all over a holly bush.

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It still would not be an apple tree.

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It's a natural process.

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So the fruit comes as evidence, but the fruit doesn't make you the apple tree in this case.

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Yes, I was raised in a family by a narcissistic parent.

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And I didn't realize she was a pathological narcissist, which we didn't realize at the

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time.

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We just thought she was very problematic.

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It took, oh, until I was in my fifties that I realized that she was actually a narcissist,

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that she fit all the indices of a narcissist.

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And if any of your audience knows about narcissism, the formula is you worship and adore me and

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I'll treat you like gold.

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You start setting boundaries or you don't worship and adore me.

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You have conflict and I treat you like dirt.

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And any kind of conflict or friction, the narcissist, they're unable to see their own

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guilt and their own fault.

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Some people think they're psychopaths.

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And so they in turn put it on you.

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If you have a problem with a narcissist, you're the problem.

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And of course that just reinforces the idea that you have to earn God's love.

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Yeah, so you started feeling even a little bit of sense of superiority when your mom

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would give you those accolades.

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Of course, every child needs and every child wants.

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There's no sin in that.

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I mean, that's how God designed us and created us.

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But in your situation, there were unhealthy requirements related to that.

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And that started and the target always moved.

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Yeah, and that started feeding in you an idea that maybe you were above other people or

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that you could judge other people by, I don't know, whatever indices were there in your

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mind at the time.

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The experience you had in the Jesus group that had reinforced the tier, you know, the

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tier levels.

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So you were dealing with this throughout your adult life.

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I mean, you're going through your life.

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You're, you know, going to Bible college.

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You're starting to teach.

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But you were dealing with this issue of superiority.

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So I didn't even realize I had the issue.

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Yeah.

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So how did God reveal that to you?

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And how did he I mean, we're going to jump around a little bit in your story.

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It's not going to go exactly timeline related, but how did God eventually reveal that to

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you and deal with it?

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Renew your thinking in that way?

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Well, after I'd gotten married, I there were a pile of stressors in my life at the time.

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And I would not have said if you had come and asked me, do you think of yourself as

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superior?

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I'd say, Oh, no, if anything, I think of myself as inferior.

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And this is very typical of a narcissist and their children that they have the dual tracks

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of they've been raised by the narcissist who thinks they're superior, but is hiding an

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inferiority.

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And so we had I had those dual tracks going, I always had to be perfect.

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It was ingrained in me that I had to be perfect.

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It was a standard I couldn't meet, whether it was in raising my daughter, being a good

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wife, I just being active in our church.

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The standard was either you're perfect or you stink.

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There's no in between whatsoever.

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And it cost me to have start having anxiety attacks.

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And God really broke me down.

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I am so thankful, frankly, that God used that period of my life.

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I couldn't there was a week I went without sleep.

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I ended up having to go on anxiety meds just to level out.

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And God used that period of my life to totally destroy the construct that I was superior

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to anyone, because, you know, when you can't even function, you certainly don't view yourself

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as superior to other people.

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And it made the gospel more meaningfully meaningful to me.

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I started to identify more with, you know, how Jesus said, he was forgiven much, loved

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much.

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That was me.

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So or not.

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I misquoted that he who is forgiven much loves much.

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I started recognizing my own total need for salvation before that, you know, obviously,

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when I came to know Jesus, I repented.

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And during the whole group and up to that time, Bible college certainly was a Christian

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and didn't said the right things, and I'm not saying I wasn't genuine, but I just had

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this deep rooted superiority that God had to root out of me.

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It's at the heart of legalism, really.

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One of the ways a narcissist trains her children, by example, is to compare yourself to others.

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And when you're comparing yourself to others, you're no matter what the index is, even if

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it's a spiritual index, like I'm superior spiritually, I'm more committed to Jesus.

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I'm more zealous for the Lord, whatever.

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There's nothing wrong in recognizing that other people have a sin area in their life,

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but to then take it and turn it where, yes, they have a sin area that I don't have, so

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I'm better.

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It's just a hop, skip, and a jump to make that bridge between the one and the other,

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and I did.

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Yeah.

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Yeah, I mean, the Bible talks constantly about us staying humble, and I think it's in the

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epistles, you know, Paul was talking about recognizing other people's sin, but it says,

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there by the grace of God go I, and this is Paul speaking.

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Amen.

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This is Paul, you know, who, I mean, if we're ranking Christians, we think Paul is a way

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up there, right?

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Absolutely.

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And he's saying, there by the grace of God go I.

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I could be in that same situation in the blink of an eye if it wasn't for God's grace.

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So Sydney, you did go to college.

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You've talked about that.

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You got a teaching degree, and you began teaching first grade at a Christian school in Oklahoma,

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but you had a real desire to go back to school and become a reading specialist, because you

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saw there were some students who just really needed some extra help in that area.

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So that led you to CBN University, which is now Regent University.

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That's where you and I met, actually.

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But at that point, you're in your late 20s, and you were starting to despair that you

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might not get married, as a lot of women struggle with that if they have a desire to get married.

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But at school, God also introduced you to the man who would become your husband, and

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this is a fun story.

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So share briefly about your courtship and how you knew Mike was God's choice for you.

295
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Oh, boy.

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Well, it took a little while.

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He apparently was attracted to me, and I had no clue about it.

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And if you asked him, he'd say that he thought I was taken.

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I don't know why he thought I was taken, but he did, and so he didn't want to be seeking

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another man's wife or another man's girlfriend.

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So CBN was very friendly.

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Everybody was very friendly to each other.

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We would be in a long, empty hallway, all by ourselves.

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He was coming towards me.

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I was going towards him.

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And instead of acknowledge me and saying hello, he would suddenly become fascinated with the

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doorknobs on the door.

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Anything to avoid eye contact, acknowledging that I even existed in the room, and that

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happened several times.

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Frankly, I thought, what's with this guy, does he think he's God's gift to women, that

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if he is friendly to me, that I'm going to glom onto him and think there's a relationship?

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And many of my-

313
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And just for our listeners, Mike was very outgoing and very, very friendly, just naturally.

314
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I mean, in no inappropriate way at all.

315
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That's just his bubbly personality.

316
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So-

317
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Except to me.

318
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Which is what got my attention.

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I had all sorts of friends who liked him, and he was the manager of the circulation

320
00:21:42,400 --> 00:21:43,400
desk.

321
00:21:43,400 --> 00:21:47,920
So when I was in the library, I'd see him talking to all these people that I really

322
00:21:47,920 --> 00:21:50,720
liked, and they really liked him, and he really liked them.

323
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And I thought, what's with this guy?

324
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Why does this guy dislike me so much?

325
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Then we had-

326
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I was in the school of education and counseling.

327
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He was in the school of communications, and they were very separate from each other.

328
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But we had a mutual friend that worked.

329
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She was in the school of education and counseling.

330
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She worked at the circulation desk, just like Michael did.

331
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And she heard him say, that's the kind of Christian girl I want to marry, when I was

332
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up there one time and walked away.

333
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So she, of course, came to me and asked me if I was dating anyone.

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And I told her I was not, that there was someone I was interested in, but that, no, we were

335
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not dating.

336
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And she told me someone there at the circulation desk was interested in me.

337
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And I thought, oh no, because I was sure, I was convinced it was this new guy who was

338
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very friendly to me.

339
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And I always had a hard time hurting people's feelings.

340
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So I said, who?

341
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And told her that.

342
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And she said, Mike Betts.

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And I thought, he doesn't even like me.

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How can that be?

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That's impossible.

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And he's the only guy there I would have dated had he showed me any interest.

347
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So she went and told him, which was funny because I was always really too proud to be

348
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that little girl in school that said, Suzy, can you tell Johnny I like him?

349
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You know, I was too proud and too afraid of being hurt, too afraid the answer would be

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no.

351
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So she did tell him.

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And he was working on his thesis.

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He called me one day and spent about half an hour telling me about 18 times how much

354
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he needed a salad.

355
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He was so nervous.

356
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He was so cute.

357
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So we agreed to go to Shoney's.

358
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They had like a lunch bar, salad and fruit and everything else.

359
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So we went there and I wore my favorite white skirt, my favorite aqua shirt that had a V-neck,

360
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took my fruit salad and turned it upside down on my lap.

361
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Then I took my iced tea and poured it down my blouse.

362
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And he walked away from that date for some reason saying he was going to marry me.

363
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He told Amy, the girl who had told me he liked me, and he told his thesis committee chairman

364
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that he was marrying me.

365
00:24:20,720 --> 00:24:24,400
And of course, she came and told me, which scared me.

366
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But he was leaving in two weeks to work for a ministry in Germany.

367
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So I thought like all of our dates from that point to when he left had to do with going

368
00:24:35,860 --> 00:24:36,860
away parties.

369
00:24:36,860 --> 00:24:44,400
I thought I can stay put for that long and it'll just fizzle out because I was unsure.

370
00:24:44,400 --> 00:24:47,280
Well we were corresponding.

371
00:24:47,280 --> 00:24:51,320
And I had the impression from his letters that he felt like he had a girl back home

372
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and I didn't want to hurt him.

373
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He's a great guy.

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I wasn't sure whether he had a girl back home or not.

375
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So I sought the Lord.

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I was going on a missions trip the next morning.

377
00:25:02,640 --> 00:25:09,320
I sought the Lord and asked him, please just tell me what your will is with Michael because

378
00:25:09,320 --> 00:25:10,320
I'm unsure.

379
00:25:10,320 --> 00:25:12,500
I totally am unsure.

380
00:25:12,500 --> 00:25:20,000
And I promise I woke up the next day feeling 100% certain that he was the right man for

381
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me and 100% in love with him.

382
00:25:22,760 --> 00:25:27,800
How that changed happened was only God because it wasn't me at all.

383
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And it never changed since.

384
00:25:29,320 --> 00:25:30,320
Yeah.

385
00:25:30,320 --> 00:25:35,480
So you all had mostly a long distance relationship.

386
00:25:35,480 --> 00:25:41,040
You know, and since you spent a lot of time, you did not spend a lot of time together during

387
00:25:41,040 --> 00:25:42,040
your courtship.

388
00:25:42,040 --> 00:25:46,640
You really didn't have the opportunity to get to know each other's ways very well.

389
00:25:46,640 --> 00:25:50,620
I mean, you corresponded, you knew what was going on in their lives and maybe what your

390
00:25:50,620 --> 00:25:51,620
dreams are.

391
00:25:51,620 --> 00:25:56,560
But you know, your ordinary lifestyle, what you do, what you, you know, how you wake up

392
00:25:56,560 --> 00:26:01,080
in the morning, all of those things you really didn't know until after the wedding.

393
00:26:01,080 --> 00:26:07,780
And it was through that process that God started renewing your mind in the area of identity

394
00:26:07,780 --> 00:26:09,240
and worth.

395
00:26:09,240 --> 00:26:18,280
You know, the worldly mindset tells us our worth and identity is defined by other people.

396
00:26:18,280 --> 00:26:24,360
So tell us how God began working in you, giving you his understanding of your identity and

397
00:26:24,360 --> 00:26:25,360
your worth.

398
00:26:25,360 --> 00:26:27,840
He came from very different families.

399
00:26:27,840 --> 00:26:32,400
Both families were equally dysfunctional, but they were very different from each other.

400
00:26:32,400 --> 00:26:36,360
And our behavior patterns were very different from each other.

401
00:26:36,360 --> 00:26:41,520
Whereas I would shut down and withdraw if I were hurt or angry, he would, he would voice

402
00:26:41,520 --> 00:26:46,200
it his, if he was frustrated, he would voice it.

403
00:26:46,200 --> 00:26:48,560
And I took that as rejection from him.

404
00:26:48,560 --> 00:26:54,600
You know, I read in, I mean, he, the poor guy, he really couldn't make any tone of voice

405
00:26:54,600 --> 00:26:57,520
other than, Oh, I love you.

406
00:26:57,520 --> 00:27:00,400
Without me reading in rejection.

407
00:27:00,400 --> 00:27:04,240
And I started taking my self-worth from Mike.

408
00:27:04,240 --> 00:27:07,680
And that's not where my self-worth belongs.

409
00:27:07,680 --> 00:27:10,640
And it started causing friction.

410
00:27:10,640 --> 00:27:17,040
It's a burden that I put on him that he didn't, he wasn't supposed to ever be bearing.

411
00:27:17,040 --> 00:27:22,960
And through that, at the same time, I started writing my first novel.

412
00:27:22,960 --> 00:27:31,080
And between writing my novel and praying about my relationship with my husband, God showed

413
00:27:31,080 --> 00:27:38,200
me that it was displaced, that my sense of self-worth was displaced.

414
00:27:38,200 --> 00:27:44,640
And he showed me really that, you know, Satan wants to steal, kill, and destroy.

415
00:27:44,640 --> 00:27:49,640
And Jesus said he was the liar from the beginning and is the father of lies.

416
00:27:49,640 --> 00:27:56,240
And I had been believing the lie that I had to earn my husband's love and that my husband

417
00:27:56,240 --> 00:28:02,240
might reject me if I didn't, you know, if I weren't worthy, if I weren't the perfect

418
00:28:02,240 --> 00:28:05,240
wife.

419
00:28:05,240 --> 00:28:11,320
Adrienne Rogers has a sermon example I'd like to share with our listeners because it

420
00:28:11,320 --> 00:28:19,400
really meant something to me to illustrate that your self-worth has to be rooted in God

421
00:28:19,400 --> 00:28:23,720
and that he's your creator and that you're made in the image of God and that he loves

422
00:28:23,720 --> 00:28:24,720
you.

423
00:28:24,720 --> 00:28:26,000
His word says he loves you.

424
00:28:26,000 --> 00:28:33,160
So why believe Satan's lies that he doesn't love you and that he didn't create you good?

425
00:28:33,160 --> 00:28:35,320
The sermon illustration went somewhat like this.

426
00:28:35,320 --> 00:28:41,360
All right, a man went into a garage sale and found an old painting sitting in the corner.

427
00:28:41,360 --> 00:28:47,120
It didn't look like anything terribly appealing, but he thought, oh, it's a quarter.

428
00:28:47,120 --> 00:28:48,480
I'll buy it.

429
00:28:48,480 --> 00:28:50,020
And he did.

430
00:28:50,020 --> 00:28:52,320
And the painting, you know, it was dirty.

431
00:28:52,320 --> 00:28:56,200
It had maybe had some of the rats chewed off the corners of it.

432
00:28:56,200 --> 00:29:01,600
There just wasn't anything about it that said, I'm a wonderful painting.

433
00:29:01,600 --> 00:29:02,600
Buy me.

434
00:29:02,600 --> 00:29:03,600
But he did anyway.

435
00:29:03,600 --> 00:29:10,920
And when he went home, he cleaned off the signature and found out that it was a Rembrandt,

436
00:29:10,920 --> 00:29:14,520
which made it of an estimable worth.

437
00:29:14,520 --> 00:29:17,140
And that's exactly what we're like.

438
00:29:17,140 --> 00:29:23,020
You know, we're not it's because it's the value of our creator who created us that gives

439
00:29:23,020 --> 00:29:24,240
us the worth.

440
00:29:24,240 --> 00:29:26,520
We're his creation.

441
00:29:26,520 --> 00:29:36,120
It's not because we're attractive or charming or any of the indexes that people use or smart.

442
00:29:36,120 --> 00:29:37,960
It's because we're God's creation.

443
00:29:37,960 --> 00:29:44,200
You know, that understanding of your value in Christ was really critical in the future.

444
00:29:44,200 --> 00:29:47,760
You and your family had moved around a bit, but you were living in Florida and you were

445
00:29:47,760 --> 00:29:49,880
busy with church and with life.

446
00:29:49,880 --> 00:29:56,220
And after your father passed away, your mother moved across the street from you.

447
00:29:56,220 --> 00:30:02,500
And it caused you to look beyond the behaviors and customs common in the world in relation

448
00:30:02,500 --> 00:30:03,960
to difficult people.

449
00:30:03,960 --> 00:30:06,200
You sought God's way.

450
00:30:06,200 --> 00:30:07,200
Share what that was like.

451
00:30:07,200 --> 00:30:11,160
Well, it was difficult to have her move across the street from us.

452
00:30:11,160 --> 00:30:12,320
I really loved her.

453
00:30:12,320 --> 00:30:18,040
I was very attached to her and wanted her to move across the street.

454
00:30:18,040 --> 00:30:21,720
But she had a pattern, which is typical of narcissists.

455
00:30:21,720 --> 00:30:25,740
Narcissists are very charming and she could be wonderful to be with.

456
00:30:25,740 --> 00:30:29,520
And everybody around us thought she was just so wonderful.

457
00:30:29,520 --> 00:30:35,240
And then she had another side when, like I said before, if you start setting boundaries,

458
00:30:35,240 --> 00:30:38,560
but God instructs us to honor our parents.

459
00:30:38,560 --> 00:30:42,800
So how do you honor a parent who's toxic?

460
00:30:42,800 --> 00:30:48,220
The world gives you two alternatives or pop psychology gives you two alternatives.

461
00:30:48,220 --> 00:30:53,560
You can either freeze them out or you risk becoming a doormat.

462
00:30:53,560 --> 00:30:57,640
But Jesus offers us a third way in saying to turn the other cheek.

463
00:30:57,640 --> 00:31:02,040
A lot of people read that verse and they think that means becoming a doormat.

464
00:31:02,040 --> 00:31:03,740
It doesn't.

465
00:31:03,740 --> 00:31:10,320
Because my self worth was anchored in him now, my mom lost her primary weapon against

466
00:31:10,320 --> 00:31:11,720
me.

467
00:31:11,720 --> 00:31:16,060
So she wasn't able to manipulate and hurt me as badly.

468
00:31:16,060 --> 00:31:21,240
Her behaviors were unchanged and they were painful, but they didn't have the power to

469
00:31:21,240 --> 00:31:23,680
destroy me.

470
00:31:23,680 --> 00:31:29,220
One day what struck me like a ton of bricks because I always thought I had this mistaken

471
00:31:29,220 --> 00:31:34,200
impression that if I was kind to her, and I think we kind of cultivate this in the church,

472
00:31:34,200 --> 00:31:41,360
that if you're kind to this person who's unkind, that at least eventually they'll start becoming

473
00:31:41,360 --> 00:31:43,320
kind to you.

474
00:31:43,320 --> 00:31:45,400
That wasn't happening at all.

475
00:31:45,400 --> 00:31:48,720
And it was hurtful.

476
00:31:48,720 --> 00:31:55,480
But it struck me like a ton of bricks that that's exactly what Jesus's experience was.

477
00:31:55,480 --> 00:31:58,440
He did nothing but love people.

478
00:31:58,440 --> 00:32:05,360
He treated everybody as lovingly as love can be because he is the definition of love.

479
00:32:05,360 --> 00:32:09,560
And yet they killed him.

480
00:32:09,560 --> 00:32:10,560
They killed him.

481
00:32:10,560 --> 00:32:16,260
Some of the people wanted nothing to do with that love and so they murdered him.

482
00:32:16,260 --> 00:32:24,480
And then it struck me that what a privilege it was to be experiencing the same kind of

483
00:32:24,480 --> 00:32:26,040
suffering that he did.

484
00:32:26,040 --> 00:32:29,560
You know, I wasn't suffering exactly like he did.

485
00:32:29,560 --> 00:32:35,920
It was the same kind of mode of loving someone and having them reject you whether you're

486
00:32:35,920 --> 00:32:38,000
loving them or not.

487
00:32:38,000 --> 00:32:45,320
By then I was writing my second novel and my second novel took me to 1 Peter chapter

488
00:32:45,320 --> 00:32:48,760
2 verse 23 and I would like to read that for you.

489
00:32:48,760 --> 00:32:56,080
When they hurled insults at him, Jesus, he did not retaliate, when he suffered he made

490
00:32:56,080 --> 00:32:57,080
no threats.

491
00:32:57,080 --> 00:33:03,360
Instead he entrusted himself to him who judges justly.

492
00:33:03,360 --> 00:33:11,680
You know, that really helped me because it showed me a pattern that I didn't have to

493
00:33:11,680 --> 00:33:12,680
get vengeance.

494
00:33:12,680 --> 00:33:13,680
I didn't have to.

495
00:33:13,680 --> 00:33:19,800
Yes, it felt very unjust the things she was doing but I didn't make her have to pay for

496
00:33:19,800 --> 00:33:20,800
her injustice.

497
00:33:20,800 --> 00:33:27,720
I could just trust that to God and trust my self worth to God and trust how everything

498
00:33:27,720 --> 00:33:30,120
was going to turn out to God.

499
00:33:30,120 --> 00:33:35,320
We don't need to return evil for evil to protect ourselves.

500
00:33:35,320 --> 00:33:36,680
He'll take care of us.

501
00:33:36,680 --> 00:33:41,600
We're simply called to seek the good of the other person in the ways that are in their

502
00:33:41,600 --> 00:33:46,880
best interest and walk daily in forgiveness and leave the rest to him.

503
00:33:46,880 --> 00:33:51,400
The one disappointment I had and I kind of alluded to it before about it changing if

504
00:33:51,400 --> 00:33:56,000
I was kind to her and of course obviously I'm a human I wasn't this perfect wonderful

505
00:33:56,000 --> 00:34:02,680
angel, but that if I were kind to her she would reciprocate and my cherished wish was

506
00:34:02,680 --> 00:34:07,240
that she would come to know Jesus and it didn't appear that she did.

507
00:34:07,240 --> 00:34:14,680
I was disappointed when I didn't see any results and I lately I came across this quote by C.S.

508
00:34:14,680 --> 00:34:21,600
Lewis that I really like and that's love is never wasted for its value does not rest on

509
00:34:21,600 --> 00:34:24,760
reciprocity.

510
00:34:24,760 --> 00:34:32,080
Then just lately after hearing that my pastor preached a sermon about the third way.

511
00:34:32,080 --> 00:34:37,880
He preached a sermon on this very subject and he made me realize that I don't really

512
00:34:37,880 --> 00:34:40,080
know that it was wasted anyway.

513
00:34:40,080 --> 00:34:45,500
I don't know that she didn't come to know Jesus during those last weeks when a person's

514
00:34:45,500 --> 00:34:49,140
really sick and they're not speaking much.

515
00:34:49,140 --> 00:34:55,460
Only God knows what the true effect of me walking out in love had on her toward the

516
00:34:55,460 --> 00:34:57,100
end of her life.

517
00:34:57,100 --> 00:34:58,480
She did over the phone.

518
00:34:58,480 --> 00:35:05,280
By then she'd gone to live with my sister because we were so horrible.

519
00:35:05,280 --> 00:35:07,820
That's how she represented us anyway.

520
00:35:07,820 --> 00:35:10,400
She acknowledged in tears how much she must have heard.

521
00:35:10,400 --> 00:35:11,400
According to her.

522
00:35:11,400 --> 00:35:12,400
Yeah.

523
00:35:12,400 --> 00:35:13,400
According to her.

524
00:35:13,400 --> 00:35:14,400
Yeah.

525
00:35:14,400 --> 00:35:15,400
It was a statement.

526
00:35:15,400 --> 00:35:21,960
It wasn't an apology exactly, but she was crying and saying, oh, you must have I must

527
00:35:21,960 --> 00:35:23,840
have hurt you so much.

528
00:35:23,840 --> 00:35:24,840
And I did forgive her.

529
00:35:24,840 --> 00:35:28,680
I told her that I forget gave her and admitted.

530
00:35:28,680 --> 00:35:30,200
Yes, you did hurt me, but it doesn't matter.

531
00:35:30,200 --> 00:35:33,000
You know, she's forgiven.

532
00:35:33,000 --> 00:35:39,120
And who knows how during her last weeks, all of that affected her before she died.

533
00:35:39,120 --> 00:35:41,000
She may have given her heart to the Lord.

534
00:35:41,000 --> 00:35:45,780
I know she went from when we were homeschooling our children, we would invite her.

535
00:35:45,780 --> 00:35:47,360
She lived with us for a while.

536
00:35:47,360 --> 00:35:53,080
We would invite her to read the word with us with my children and I, and she didn't

537
00:35:53,080 --> 00:35:54,080
want to.

538
00:35:54,080 --> 00:35:58,080
But toward the end of her life, my sister said that she enjoyed having the Bible read

539
00:35:58,080 --> 00:35:59,400
to her.

540
00:35:59,400 --> 00:36:01,120
So that's something.

541
00:36:01,120 --> 00:36:02,120
Yeah.

542
00:36:02,120 --> 00:36:09,600
Well, when she did pass, she you found out that she had disinherited you, which must

543
00:36:09,600 --> 00:36:14,780
have been very painful even after she said I caused you a lot of pain.

544
00:36:14,780 --> 00:36:19,280
Because after all she'd done for you and even her acknowledgement, she had caused you pain.

545
00:36:19,280 --> 00:36:20,480
She had disinherited you.

546
00:36:20,480 --> 00:36:31,080
And God, you know, God used even that experience to give you a new perspective on money, which

547
00:36:31,080 --> 00:36:34,600
is another area that we can get so out of whack.

548
00:36:34,600 --> 00:36:38,520
You know, we can get so we can put our faith in money, right?

549
00:36:38,520 --> 00:36:44,120
We can put our faith in money and think that it's going to it's going to be our stability.

550
00:36:44,120 --> 00:36:46,160
But God wanted to give you a different perspective on that.

551
00:36:46,160 --> 00:36:47,640
So can you explain?

552
00:36:47,640 --> 00:36:48,640
Sure.

553
00:36:48,640 --> 00:36:51,640
So it wasn't really surprising that she disinherited me.

554
00:36:51,640 --> 00:36:54,600
I kind of expected it.

555
00:36:54,600 --> 00:37:00,120
What did really hurt was her telling my daughter that she didn't consider me her daughter anymore.

556
00:37:00,120 --> 00:37:06,200
This of course was before she cried and told me that she was she didn't say she was sorry,

557
00:37:06,200 --> 00:37:11,360
but you know that she must have hurt me so much.

558
00:37:11,360 --> 00:37:18,200
I was a little surprised by my sister because my sister who ended up getting all the inheritance,

559
00:37:18,200 --> 00:37:26,640
which was like in the millions, I just assumed that she would then once it was hers do what

560
00:37:26,640 --> 00:37:31,760
I always thought what my parents, especially my father, had always expressed was his desire

561
00:37:31,760 --> 00:37:35,000
that we would have the money equally.

562
00:37:35,000 --> 00:37:39,480
And I realized I didn't realize at the time, but I realized having come from wealthy parents,

563
00:37:39,480 --> 00:37:41,640
how much trust I did put in.

564
00:37:41,640 --> 00:37:46,400
But she felt like she needed to be faithful to what mom's will was.

565
00:37:46,400 --> 00:37:51,380
She was the executress and mom said she wanted the money to go to her and that that's what

566
00:37:51,380 --> 00:37:54,320
she needed to do, which is fine.

567
00:37:54,320 --> 00:38:00,760
I felt like it was unjust, but it doesn't really matter that I felt that way because

568
00:38:00,760 --> 00:38:03,200
the money was hers.

569
00:38:03,200 --> 00:38:05,840
So I don't want to get ahead of myself.

570
00:38:05,840 --> 00:38:09,720
The one thing that really made a difference to me during my struggle with this, there

571
00:38:09,720 --> 00:38:11,600
is actually several things.

572
00:38:11,600 --> 00:38:16,760
One was a dear pastor friend of ours asked me the question that reframed everything.

573
00:38:16,760 --> 00:38:20,120
What's more important to you, the money or your sister?

574
00:38:20,120 --> 00:38:22,920
And of course, my sister was more important to me.

575
00:38:22,920 --> 00:38:26,040
How do you measure a person's worth in terms of money?

576
00:38:26,040 --> 00:38:28,440
She was more important to me than the money.

577
00:38:28,440 --> 00:38:29,440
That was the one thing.

578
00:38:29,440 --> 00:38:31,800
The other thing was bringing me across.

579
00:38:31,800 --> 00:38:35,840
It's so wonderful the way God always engineers that the things you're reading in the Bible

580
00:38:35,840 --> 00:38:38,200
apply to your life, it seems.

581
00:38:38,200 --> 00:38:45,760
He brought me across that section of the Gospels where a man comes to him and says, my brother,

582
00:38:45,760 --> 00:38:48,640
my brother won't share the inheritance with me.

583
00:38:48,640 --> 00:38:52,320
And Jesus didn't even address the issue.

584
00:38:52,320 --> 00:38:59,760
And it made me realize that what I was saying before, the money was my sister's.

585
00:38:59,760 --> 00:39:07,520
Anything, any trying to want it, even in my own heart, was coveting then because it didn't

586
00:39:07,520 --> 00:39:08,680
belong to me.

587
00:39:08,680 --> 00:39:11,120
It belonged to her.

588
00:39:11,120 --> 00:39:14,960
Now my father had put money in trust.

589
00:39:14,960 --> 00:39:23,360
And so I had that money and my husband and I moved to Virginia and we bought a business.

590
00:39:23,360 --> 00:39:30,360
And what really showed me how much I trusted money despite being thought of in our family

591
00:39:30,360 --> 00:39:34,080
is the person who would always give it away.

592
00:39:34,080 --> 00:39:39,040
And the bank balance started going down, down, down, down.

593
00:39:39,040 --> 00:39:44,800
I started grasping onto that money like crazy and being scared that we were going to lose

594
00:39:44,800 --> 00:39:48,800
our house, that we were going to lose everything.

595
00:39:48,800 --> 00:39:57,600
And God so kindly used that to reveal in me that root of unbelief, the unbelief that God

596
00:39:57,600 --> 00:40:03,840
would take care of me, that I needed the money to take care of me in our bank balance.

597
00:40:03,840 --> 00:40:10,520
This, not only did he prune me during that time and show that to me, this was a very

598
00:40:10,520 --> 00:40:11,520
tough time.

599
00:40:11,520 --> 00:40:14,960
Us owning the business, I didn't want to work at the business.

600
00:40:14,960 --> 00:40:16,680
I didn't want anything to do with it.

601
00:40:16,680 --> 00:40:18,840
It was my husband's dream.

602
00:40:18,840 --> 00:40:22,600
But it quickly became apparent that if I didn't work at the business, my husband was going

603
00:40:22,600 --> 00:40:29,100
to die of exhaustion because it was hard to get labor that would work.

604
00:40:29,100 --> 00:40:37,400
So during that whole time, it was tough, but God used it not only to prune things out of

605
00:40:37,400 --> 00:40:39,960
me but also to help.

606
00:40:39,960 --> 00:40:43,640
Remember I said that my husband came from a dysfunctional family?

607
00:40:43,640 --> 00:40:49,920
God used our failure in our business to root out things in my husband that I've been praying

608
00:40:49,920 --> 00:40:52,920
about for decades.

609
00:40:52,920 --> 00:41:00,920
And it's amazing the way that God takes the things that we think are disasters, are horrible,

610
00:41:00,920 --> 00:41:05,000
are painful, and he uses them to set us free.

611
00:41:05,000 --> 00:41:08,740
And that's exactly what God did with our failure of our business.

612
00:41:08,740 --> 00:41:13,640
God set Michael free from things and God set me free from things.

613
00:41:13,640 --> 00:41:16,520
And I wouldn't have it any other way.

614
00:41:16,520 --> 00:41:20,060
And even though your business failed, you didn't fail.

615
00:41:20,060 --> 00:41:24,680
You know, you as a couple and you in your faith, you were stronger than ever, which

616
00:41:24,680 --> 00:41:30,880
God, you know, like you said, God uses some of those things to forge us and forge new

617
00:41:30,880 --> 00:41:33,680
strength in us and give us his perspective.

618
00:41:33,680 --> 00:41:39,400
Because when we have the eyes of Christ, we are not easily rattled.

619
00:41:39,400 --> 00:41:45,600
You know, the things of the world that start shaking and, you know, we can look beyond

620
00:41:45,600 --> 00:41:51,000
that and we can see God's purpose in them and through them and beyond them, which boy,

621
00:41:51,000 --> 00:41:57,160
you know, right now in our nation, we all need to have that confidence that we will

622
00:41:57,160 --> 00:41:59,680
not be shaken.

623
00:41:59,680 --> 00:42:05,480
We have our foundation in Christ and he is the one whose plan is at work and we can have

624
00:42:05,480 --> 00:42:11,720
confidence in him because scripture tells us that we are hidden in Christ Jesus.

625
00:42:11,720 --> 00:42:16,480
So whatever's going on, we can trust in him and we need to have that perspective, which

626
00:42:16,480 --> 00:42:18,480
God really worked in you.

627
00:42:18,480 --> 00:42:20,520
Yes, absolutely.

628
00:42:20,520 --> 00:42:26,200
And his plan isn't for us to have wonderful lives on earth.

629
00:42:26,200 --> 00:42:33,160
His plan is his whole plan of the gospel from the very beginning throughout history.

630
00:42:33,160 --> 00:42:36,240
We're being fitted into that plan.

631
00:42:36,240 --> 00:42:41,700
And you know, like if you read Bible characters, they had plenty of flaws and they had plenty

632
00:42:41,700 --> 00:42:48,640
of challenges, but God placed them in the right place and time that he wanted them to

633
00:42:48,640 --> 00:42:53,720
accomplish his will, his will and his work through you.

634
00:42:53,720 --> 00:42:55,920
And that's what our lives are for on earth.

635
00:42:55,920 --> 00:42:59,040
And of course, it gives us joy in doing it.

636
00:42:59,040 --> 00:43:00,040
Yeah.

637
00:43:00,040 --> 00:43:02,940
And I mean, certainly God's not about making our life miserable either.

638
00:43:02,940 --> 00:43:09,480
You have had a lot of joy and exciting adventures and, you know, you were able to live in Israel

639
00:43:09,480 --> 00:43:14,760
for a time and you've seen a lot of the world.

640
00:43:14,760 --> 00:43:18,160
And you've never lost your passion for sharing Christ and teaching others about him.

641
00:43:18,160 --> 00:43:22,520
In fact, one of the ways that God's enabled you to do it, you've mentioned it a few times,

642
00:43:22,520 --> 00:43:27,520
is writing Christian fiction, which I've read the first whole series.

643
00:43:27,520 --> 00:43:28,520
It's fantastic.

644
00:43:28,520 --> 00:43:32,120
And I'm reading some of the second series.

645
00:43:32,120 --> 00:43:35,840
So how did you get started?

646
00:43:35,840 --> 00:43:40,480
Tell our listeners what your books are about and how God used them in your life and even

647
00:43:40,480 --> 00:43:41,480
in the lives of others.

648
00:43:41,480 --> 00:43:48,560
Well, my first book, my first series, it's a trilogy, is historical Christian romance.

649
00:43:48,560 --> 00:43:55,120
And I started that because we were homeschooling and we were learning about Native Americans.

650
00:43:55,120 --> 00:43:56,840
It's a book about Native Americans.

651
00:43:56,840 --> 00:44:05,340
It goes from, in the first book, Native Americans and a white settler getting to know each other.

652
00:44:05,340 --> 00:44:10,440
And then it goes towards, by the time you get to the third book, it's all about the

653
00:44:10,440 --> 00:44:15,360
Native American tribes.

654
00:44:15,360 --> 00:44:20,920
God used those books while I was homeschooling my kids and while I was writing the books,

655
00:44:20,920 --> 00:44:25,520
I was having these challenges with my husband and with my self-image.

656
00:44:25,520 --> 00:44:33,600
And by seeking what God's will was for me to write and seeking God about my own relationship,

657
00:44:33,600 --> 00:44:36,200
they went hand in glove, and they're in the books.

658
00:44:36,200 --> 00:44:40,520
You can read any author ends up being autobiographical.

659
00:44:40,520 --> 00:44:42,800
They don't mean to, biographical.

660
00:44:42,800 --> 00:44:45,000
They just put themselves in their books.

661
00:44:45,000 --> 00:44:46,000
Sure.

662
00:44:46,000 --> 00:44:47,400
But what's your second series?

663
00:44:47,400 --> 00:44:49,280
Is a bit of a departure?

664
00:44:49,280 --> 00:44:50,280
It is.

665
00:44:50,280 --> 00:44:53,560
It's about, it's a mystery series.

666
00:44:53,560 --> 00:44:58,280
It's a little lighter weight and it's about a pastor's daughter, a young pastor's daughter,

667
00:44:58,280 --> 00:45:03,000
who has her main talent is just listening, that she listens to people.

668
00:45:03,000 --> 00:45:09,000
And through listening, she picks up clues that help her to solve murders or other crimes.

669
00:45:09,000 --> 00:45:13,280
So far, the first three books have been murders, but the fourth book is not going to be a murder.

670
00:45:13,280 --> 00:45:20,020
I love Hallmark mystery series, which are light mysteries like that.

671
00:45:20,020 --> 00:45:25,640
So if our listeners out there are like me, liking those Hallmark mysteries, great series

672
00:45:25,640 --> 00:45:26,640
of books to read.

673
00:45:26,640 --> 00:45:31,840
Sydney, what do you hope our listeners take away today from your story?

674
00:45:31,840 --> 00:45:38,240
I hope they take away the fact that God is faithful and that he loves us so much.

675
00:45:38,240 --> 00:45:43,040
You know, in Hebrews it talks about, he disciplines the sons that he loves.

676
00:45:43,040 --> 00:45:50,560
Someone, I don't remember who used an illustration that we're all kind of like blocks of marble.

677
00:45:50,560 --> 00:45:52,760
And I don't know if you know anything about sculpting.

678
00:45:52,760 --> 00:45:58,080
I don't know much, but I know that supposedly the sculptor looks at the block and he just

679
00:45:58,080 --> 00:46:05,000
sees in the block what it is that he wants, what it is he's creating.

680
00:46:05,000 --> 00:46:07,120
And that's kind of how God is with us.

681
00:46:07,120 --> 00:46:14,200
He chips away at the stuff that is not necessary, is not good.

682
00:46:14,200 --> 00:46:18,580
He chips away at it in order to reveal the beauty that's inside.

683
00:46:18,580 --> 00:46:22,240
He makes all things beautiful in his time.

684
00:46:22,240 --> 00:46:24,240
He's faithful.

685
00:46:24,240 --> 00:46:32,520
The other thing which is related to it is that you can wholly trust God's word.

686
00:46:32,520 --> 00:46:37,720
God's word tells you to do things that are very upside down from what the world tells

687
00:46:37,720 --> 00:46:38,720
you to do.

688
00:46:38,720 --> 00:46:41,160
They're really diametrically opposed.

689
00:46:41,160 --> 00:46:44,640
And through leading women's Bible studies, I've often found that when it gets to things

690
00:46:44,640 --> 00:46:49,160
that are really personal, all of a sudden a wall goes up with women and they're like,

691
00:46:49,160 --> 00:46:55,000
no, I'm not going to do that, because they are so ingrained in the ways of the world.

692
00:46:55,000 --> 00:47:05,320
But if you take Jesus' word and actually do what he says, it's God makes all things beautiful.

693
00:47:05,320 --> 00:47:07,280
He's doing that on purpose.

694
00:47:07,280 --> 00:47:08,280
His word works.

695
00:47:08,280 --> 00:47:10,100
He knows what he's doing.

696
00:47:10,100 --> 00:47:11,840
And he's worth trusting.

697
00:47:11,840 --> 00:47:12,840
He's worth following.

698
00:47:12,840 --> 00:47:18,600
So, Sydney, as we close, would you share about a woman in the Bible who's inspired or encouraged

699
00:47:18,600 --> 00:47:20,080
or taught you something?

700
00:47:20,080 --> 00:47:25,280
I love Mary, the sister of Martha and the sister of Lazarus.

701
00:47:25,280 --> 00:47:26,800
I can definitely identify with her.

702
00:47:26,800 --> 00:47:28,480
I love God's word.

703
00:47:28,480 --> 00:47:31,840
And I love the way she sat at Jesus' feet.

704
00:47:31,840 --> 00:47:36,400
My gift is not cooking and cleaning and all that stuff.

705
00:47:36,400 --> 00:47:43,240
My gift is in studying the word of God and listening and disseminating it to other people.

706
00:47:43,240 --> 00:47:48,040
And I just love the idea of sitting at Jesus' feet and listening to him.

707
00:47:48,040 --> 00:47:56,560
And also, she's the same Mary that realized how wonderful God is and his payment for all

708
00:47:56,560 --> 00:48:02,000
her sins and washed—well, I guess that was before the crucifixion she did this, but she

709
00:48:02,000 --> 00:48:08,960
still—she had some sort of internal response that she washed his feet with her hair and

710
00:48:08,960 --> 00:48:15,200
her tears, you know, poured the alabaster jar of perfume over him.

711
00:48:15,200 --> 00:48:17,600
She just loved him.

712
00:48:17,600 --> 00:48:20,040
And she definitely resonates with me.

713
00:48:20,040 --> 00:48:21,040
Amen.

714
00:48:21,040 --> 00:48:22,040
You know—

715
00:48:22,040 --> 00:48:23,040
I want to be like her.

716
00:48:23,040 --> 00:48:24,040
Yeah.

717
00:48:24,040 --> 00:48:31,400
You know, Proverbs 3, as we've been talking about all of the things we've talked about

718
00:48:31,400 --> 00:48:37,400
today, Proverbs 3: 5-6 came to mind, which says—it's a very familiar passage—it

719
00:48:37,400 --> 00:48:40,760
says, Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lead not on your own understanding.

720
00:48:40,760 --> 00:48:44,920
In all your ways, submit to him, and he will make your path straight.

721
00:48:44,920 --> 00:48:49,840
And sometimes we can focus on just the beginning and the end of that verse.

722
00:48:49,840 --> 00:48:52,600
Trust in the Lord and he will make your path straight.

723
00:48:52,600 --> 00:48:54,760
But we mustn't miss the middle.

724
00:48:54,760 --> 00:49:01,800
Lean not on your own understanding, which is often influenced by the patterns and concepts

725
00:49:01,800 --> 00:49:03,720
of the world, right?

726
00:49:03,720 --> 00:49:10,480
Instead, God invites us to submit our ways to him so he can direct our steps and renew

727
00:49:10,480 --> 00:49:11,480
our mind in the process.

728
00:49:11,480 --> 00:49:15,120
Sydney, would you take a moment and pray for our listeners?

729
00:49:15,120 --> 00:49:20,720
Lord Jesus, I have no idea who's going to listen to this podcast, but you do.

730
00:49:20,720 --> 00:49:25,640
And you dearly love every single person out there listening, whether they're—I'm

731
00:49:25,640 --> 00:49:27,480
assuming mostly they're women.

732
00:49:27,480 --> 00:49:29,840
Maybe there's a man or two listening to it.

733
00:49:29,840 --> 00:49:32,720
But God, you love them so dearly.

734
00:49:32,720 --> 00:49:38,840
And Lord, I pray that you free them from all the chains that bind them, Lord God, that

735
00:49:38,840 --> 00:49:45,840
you free them from addictions, that you free them from just the ingrained patterns of this

736
00:49:45,840 --> 00:49:52,080
world that have been formed in us through our society, possibly through our parents,

737
00:49:52,080 --> 00:49:58,000
that you release us, Lord Jesus, to serve you with our whole hearts, Lord Jesus, because

738
00:49:58,000 --> 00:50:01,200
you are our portion.

739
00:50:01,200 --> 00:50:04,840
You're the reward, Lord God, and you're wonderful.

740
00:50:04,840 --> 00:50:06,520
In your name, amen.

741
00:50:06,520 --> 00:50:07,640
Thank you for tuning in.

742
00:50:07,640 --> 00:50:13,400
Check out our show notes at hergodstory.org for scriptures, links, and other information.

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00:50:13,400 --> 00:50:17,480
Sign up there for our emails and get a free six-week downloadable devotional on Women

744
00:50:17,480 --> 00:50:22,520
of the Bible or purchase a 12-week devotional on Women of the Bible for just $12, knowing

745
00:50:22,520 --> 00:50:26,000
that all the proceeds will go to our Widow and Orphan Fund.

746
00:50:26,000 --> 00:50:30,960
You can also give a gift to support widows and orphans as part of a growing company of

747
00:50:30,960 --> 00:50:34,560
women because together we can do so much more.

748
00:50:34,560 --> 00:50:38,440
If God spoke to you through this episode, think about starting a podcast club.

749
00:50:38,440 --> 00:50:42,120
You can have friends, neighbors, or colleagues listen to it too, and then gather around your

750
00:50:42,120 --> 00:50:46,020
favorite refreshment to discuss what God's saying to each of you.

751
00:50:46,020 --> 00:50:53,120
We have suggested questions online at hergodstory.org under our podcast club section to help you.

752
00:50:53,120 --> 00:50:58,600
And now, dear friends, I bless you from Ephesians 1: 17 -20.

753
00:50:58,600 --> 00:51:04,680
May God, the glorious Father of Jesus Christ, give you spiritual wisdom and insight so that

754
00:51:04,680 --> 00:51:07,180
you will grow in your knowledge of God.

755
00:51:07,180 --> 00:51:11,740
May your heart be flooded with light so that you can understand the confident hope He has

756
00:51:11,740 --> 00:51:15,840
given you, who are His rich and glorious inheritance.

757
00:51:15,840 --> 00:51:20,960
And may you understand the incredible greatness of God's power for you, that same power that

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00:51:20,960 --> 00:51:23,040
raised Jesus from the dead.

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00:51:23,040 --> 00:51:27,760
Her God Story is a ministry of Somebody Cares America and International to find out more

760
00:51:27,760 --> 00:51:31,200
about or support the ministry, go to somebodycares.org.