God Delivered Me By His Love, Stephanie Vigers’ Story

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Hey friends, welcome to the Heard God Story podcast.

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I know you love a good story and boy do I have a good one for you today.

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I'm your host Jodie Chiricosta, ministry leader at Somebody Cares America International, author

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and traveler on this journey of faith.

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My guest today has experienced the salvation, deliverance and healing from a life of misery

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that only God can do.

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Today Stephanie Vigors is co-pastoring a church with her husband Darnell.

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They have three grown children, she's authored two books and co-authored another, hosted

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her own talk show called Awakening the Diamonds and been a guest on various other Christian

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shows.

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Stephanie and Darnell served as hosts for the Reinhart Bonnke Crusade in Houston in

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2015 and they continue to facilitate and lead other citywide prayer and evangelistic gatherings.

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God has brought her a long way.

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Welcome Stephanie.

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Thank you, I'm so happy to be here so thank you for having me.

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It is my pleasure.

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Stephanie, your young life was really tough.

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Without getting into all the nitty gritty details, tell us about your early and high

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school years.

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My mother, she had two children, I was the youngest of the two.

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She really didn't want me, I was an unwanted child, both my father and my mother did not

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want me.

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And so that was difficult growing up.

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My mom felt that having one child was enough and that she would be able to make it and

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prosper in life and then I come along.

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Throughout my childhood, I was always the one that was the reason why things didn't

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work out.

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I was the one to blame.

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If there was no success, it was because she had the second child.

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And so she had a lot of resentment towards me and so I was the child who would just go

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into their room and hide because it was easier to hide than to be seen and my mom is reminded.

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It's because of me, at least that's the way she felt, it's because of me, the way things

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had turned out for her.

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And in that, when I was originally came into the world, she actually gave me to her sister

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to raise.

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I have that issue that I kind of struggled with, with the abandonment and the rejection

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and never really felt that I was loved as a child by my father nor my mother.

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And so I didn't know at the time, but I just knew how I acted as I continued to grow up,

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that I was angry.

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I was angry all the time.

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I would fight with the boys.

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If anyone said anything to me, I would quickly get upset.

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And it's because I had all these issues that I couldn't express.

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I didn't have anyone to talk to and I'm a child.

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And so I have no way to know how to deal with these things.

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Growing up in that environment, I found myself in situations where I wanted love.

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So if anybody would just love me, it didn't matter what I needed to do.

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I just know that I wanted to feel something that I felt like I was missing in my life.

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And so I could end up finding myself in various situations.

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And one situation I was in when my mom would go to Louisiana, that was her home state,

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and she would leave me with family.

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And you know, you think when you're with family that you're in a safe environment.

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And so, but I wasn't.

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And so at night time when my mom was gone and the other adults were gone, family members

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would come into the room.

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And there was molestation that happened several times.

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The majority of the time it was at least two of my male family members that would come

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and molest me.

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And so I had that to deal with.

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And my family was already in enough chaos and confusion.

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I didn't want to say anything to cause any more issues in the family.

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And so I kept that quiet and didn't think that they would believe me anyway.

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And so harboring that with the rejection and abandonment and now the trust issues, it just

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ended up just in a whirlwind when I actually became an adult.

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Wow.

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And through that time, you had been going actually to a private Catholic school.

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Yes.

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My grandmother was Catholic.

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And the tradition is that if you're Catholic, then you send your children to Catholic school.

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And so my mom and her sisters, they all went to Catholic school.

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And so when it came to me and my brother, we went to Catholic school as well.

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So I went to Catholic school from kindergarten all the way through high school.

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And even in that, when I was in about the fourth or fifth grade, there was this priest

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and again, back to this issue of wanting someone to love me, know me, notice me.

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And he noticed me.

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And he said, hey, you are beautiful.

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You could be a model.

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And I'm like, wow, me, I can be that.

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And so he said, but we just need to take pictures of you.

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And so we'll be able to show these pictures to everyone.

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And so I'm thinking innocent.

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He's a priest.

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Everything is okay.

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And didn't realize he's telling me to unbutton my shirt.

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He's telling me to lift up my skirt, that he had other intentions other than me, you

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know, having this modeling career.

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And so I didn't make the connection to that until really it came out about priests being

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inappropriate with the children that were under them.

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And then a flashback to, oh yeah, I remember those days.

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I'm just unbuttoning my shirt and allowing him to take pictures.

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But I was so much in a place that he liked me.

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He thought something of me, that I was special, that I was different.

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And it didn't matter what I needed to do because I needed to feel, I needed to feel that love

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and that someone wanted me and accepted me for who I was.

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So you got through high school, you graduated.

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And even though you really had no one as your cheerleader, you went to college, which was

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a big decision.

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That was a big deal.

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How did you get into college and what happened during those years?

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I finished high school and I knew that I had to do something to get out of the environment

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that I was in.

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And, you know, ultimately my mom kicked me out of the house when I was 17 years old,

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not that far after I got out of high school.

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It was a difficulty there trying to find somewhere to be able to stay.

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But yet I still said I wanted to go to school.

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And so I struggled to go use the bus to go to University of Houston.

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And after that, I transitioned to go into a community college and it was difficult,

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but I knew I had to do something.

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I didn't want to be like some of the family members that I knew that ended up in bad situations,

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ended up in jail.

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I didn't want that to happen to me.

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And so it was very difficult and it took me more years than what it would take the average

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person to be able to complete school.

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But I did.

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I had to get financial aid on one part, a scholarship through the job that I was working

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for another part.

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And then I was working full time.

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So I was working full time, struggling, trying to have a roof over my head.

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I had to stay in a homeless shelter for, you know, a bit of that time.

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But struggle did what I needed to do because I knew that in order to be successful in life,

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I needed some type of degree.

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And so originally I got a two year associate degree in nursing, became a registered nurse.

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And then ultimately I finished with ended up having a master's degree.

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It took time and it was a process, but I was able to finish.

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Yeah.

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You, I mean, that talks about perseverance to do that without really any help at all.

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There was no cheerleading.

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Yeah.

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Yeah.

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There was no one cheering me on or encouraging me to say, keep going.

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There was none of that.

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It was just me and the Lord trying to encourage myself to make it through.

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Yeah.

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So along the way you met the man who came to be your husband and where did you meet

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him?

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Oh, well, that's a funny story.

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So at this point I was living with a roommate.

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You know, we were in the world, even though I grew up in a religion and knew that I would,

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you know, I felt that I was good enough that I would make it to purgatory.

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That's what, that's what I thought.

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And so, but I was still living a life of anyone that was in the world.

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And so we would go out to this club.

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It's called the palladium.

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It's near gallery furniture.

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It's no longer there.

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And we would go there at least twice a week.

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I mean, we were known at that particular place.

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And so my husband had recently moved from Louisiana to Houston and his cousin brought

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him to that club.

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And that's where I was.

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He was on the dance floor with another lady, another female, and they were dancing back

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to back or butt to butt.

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And I was at the edge of the dance floor.

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And then I saw him and he saw me.

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And immediately when I saw him, I knew, I heard something say, that's him.

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And I immediately knew that he was the one.

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And so he's on the dance floor.

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He sees me.

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He turns around to see if the female that was dancing with him had still had her backside

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towards him.

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And she did.

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And he just walked off the dance floor.

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So he walks off the dance floor.

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He comes over to me, asks me, do I want to dance?

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Of course I said yes.

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And we've been together ever since.

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Funny thing about that is that I was there not only with my friend, my roommate, I was

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also there with my boyfriend.

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And we had a very strange relationship, but we were both there, yet we were in our separate

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ways doing our own thing.

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But I felt that Darnell was the one, he was it.

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And so that night I broke up with my boyfriend and I was with Darnell and we're still together.

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After 29 years of marriage, we are still together.

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That is amazing.

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That is amazing these days.

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And neither of you were believers at the time.

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You didn't know the Lord when you met.

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So, I mean, it was God's grace and mercy that you made it through because your early relationship

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was kind of rocky, right?

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Yeah, it was.

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It really was.

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I had all this stuff that was going on with me.

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He came from a pretty stable background.

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So when I come into the picture, he doesn't really know how to deal with some of the things

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that I'm going through, the attitudes and the anger and these things that I'm manifesting.

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And I don't even, you know, at that point, I'm so mature.

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I don't know what's going on with me either.

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I just know I feel what I feel.

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And so it was very rocky when we first got married, not only because of that, but also

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because of the friends that I had.

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And so when we married, I was still, you know, in the world and I had worldly friends.

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And at this point, I was a nurse.

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I was working at ICU.

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I was working at night.

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And the people that I was around were very strange people that are in a level of darkness

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that I had never experienced before that I was being brought into.

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And when I got married, my friends were not happy at all about that decision.

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No, not at all.

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They wanted me to remain single.

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They wanted me to be able to continue to party without any type of restraint.

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They would do things to cause division between my husband and I.

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And so my husband and I would always get into arguments because now I want to go out because

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they have convinced me that he is controlling me.

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He doesn't want me to have a life.

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He doesn't want me to have friends.

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And I'm believing this.

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And so it's causing all of this tension.

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One day, someone, of course, we know now it's the Lord, but he heard a voice tell him that

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you need to take her and you need to move out of the city.

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And I don't know how he convinced me, but he convinced me to leave my home.

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I was born and raised in Houston.

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And he convinced me that we needed to leave.

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And so we just moved into the apartment that we were in.

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We didn't even have all of our bags unpacked at that point.

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And we packed everything that we did unpack and we left.

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So you left your job and everything.

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I left the job.

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He left his.

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And we didn't have a place to stay.

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We moved to Lake Charles and went to live with his sister until we could get settled

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in.

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His sister had four kids.

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They're living in a two bedroom house.

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And now we come in and there's all these people in this small little house.

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But we did.

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We listened to the Lord and didn't know the Lord at that time, but we listened to that

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voice.

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And it was the best decision that we ever made.

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I just thank the Lord that we listened to that voice.

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And so what happened, we moved to Louisiana and my friends, they paid me a visit.

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They come to Louisiana to talk to us.

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And it's then when I saw that my friends really weren't my friends.

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We went to dinner together.

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They talked awful about my husband, to my husband.

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And they came there hoping that I would quit the relationship with my husband and that

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I would leave with them that night.

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And that's not how it turned out.

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I quit the relationship with them and I remained with my husband.

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Wow.

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I mean, that must've been a struggle really, because I mean, they were your friends.

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They were kind of the first support you had outside of, I mean, as an adult or really

242
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maybe even your whole life, realizing that they were not good for you was, I mean, really

243
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a divine intervention of the Lord.

244
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Yes.

245
00:13:58,920 --> 00:14:02,600
I mean, they were trying to convince you into some lifestyles that were even more unhealthy

246
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than you had come out of.

247
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They were really into some dark stuff.

248
00:14:06,320 --> 00:14:09,080
There was some homosexuality in there.

249
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Just so many things when I think back of the things that not necessarily that I got involved

250
00:14:14,880 --> 00:14:20,580
with everything, but just my awareness and my participation and my acceptance of this

251
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is okay behavior.

252
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I'm just so glad that I'm no longer in that place.

253
00:14:26,600 --> 00:14:27,600
Yeah.

254
00:14:27,600 --> 00:14:28,880
That level of thinking.

255
00:14:28,880 --> 00:14:33,680
You and Darnell were in Louisiana and I believe you started having some children.

256
00:14:33,680 --> 00:14:36,960
So we have three children.

257
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They are all in the Lord.

258
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And the thing that I love about our family is that we're like anyone else.

259
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We have our struggles.

260
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We have our trials.

261
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Sometimes we just don't know what to do or how we're going to make it.

262
00:14:52,000 --> 00:14:57,680
And our kids are able to see us through those struggles and those trials, see how the Lord

263
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moves in our life.

264
00:14:58,880 --> 00:14:59,880
Amen.

265
00:14:59,880 --> 00:15:01,680
That is something I saw.

266
00:15:01,680 --> 00:15:06,280
I mean, my family, we all got saved when I was about six years old.

267
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So we grew in the Lord together.

268
00:15:07,680 --> 00:15:11,760
But the thing that has really grounded me in my faith was watching my parents walk through

269
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difficult times in a godly way.

270
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Your children are so blessed to see you do that, to see you struggle with things, but

271
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in a godly way and watch God bring the great breakthroughs.

272
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And that's exactly what I love about it because we're not perfect and they're able to see

273
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that.

274
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So they're not perfect, they don't have to be perfect.

275
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It's follow the Lord when you mess up, you confess your sins, and you just move on.

276
00:15:38,440 --> 00:15:45,800
And so now they were able to see these struggles and now they're in this point in their lives

277
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where they're developing their own testimony, not mom and dad's testimony.

278
00:15:50,680 --> 00:15:54,620
And seeing the Lord work in mom and dad's life, now they're able to see the Lord working

279
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in their own lives.

280
00:15:55,620 --> 00:15:58,640
But when they were first born, that wasn't the case.

281
00:15:58,640 --> 00:16:00,240
Yes, that was not the case.

282
00:16:00,240 --> 00:16:04,160
In fact, you really had a bit of a crisis when they were young.

283
00:16:04,160 --> 00:16:10,840
When my son was born, I have all my family drama to deal with and they end up having

284
00:16:10,840 --> 00:16:15,520
to deal with my family drama because they want to know where's grandmother, where's

285
00:16:15,520 --> 00:16:21,440
grandfather, where are the people that's supposed to be part of our tribe and our family.

286
00:16:21,440 --> 00:16:24,100
And so we didn't have a lot of that.

287
00:16:24,100 --> 00:16:26,600
Mom was going through so much.

288
00:16:26,600 --> 00:16:28,360
And they're young, they don't understand.

289
00:16:28,360 --> 00:16:31,120
My husband's trying to do as much as he can.

290
00:16:31,120 --> 00:16:32,520
So it was really a struggle.

291
00:16:32,520 --> 00:16:37,180
And I used to work a lot because I had these issues of depression.

292
00:16:37,180 --> 00:16:43,840
And so how I dealt with depression is I work, I do other things, I keep myself busy.

293
00:16:43,840 --> 00:16:46,400
So my mind is not preoccupied with that.

294
00:16:46,400 --> 00:16:48,980
And so I used to work, work, and work.

295
00:16:48,980 --> 00:16:54,200
And so my son, he was about three or four years old and he drew a picture.

296
00:16:54,200 --> 00:16:59,320
I'm looking at the picture and I'm like, okay, son, where am I?

297
00:16:59,320 --> 00:17:01,960
And he said, oh, well, you're at work.

298
00:17:01,960 --> 00:17:05,760
And I was like, oh no.

299
00:17:05,760 --> 00:17:13,040
And so that was, I opened to know that my son was aware that I'm not home and that I'm

300
00:17:13,040 --> 00:17:15,160
at some other place.

301
00:17:15,160 --> 00:17:20,320
And for him to even possibly think that that was more important than he was, when that

302
00:17:20,320 --> 00:17:22,120
happened, that kind of changed my perspective.

303
00:17:22,120 --> 00:17:28,520
Okay, I don't need to work as much as I have and I need to spend more time with my family.

304
00:17:28,520 --> 00:17:29,520
So that helped.

305
00:17:29,520 --> 00:17:35,040
When we were younger, we were still in school, still struggling to get through nursing school.

306
00:17:35,040 --> 00:17:38,400
When I went to Louisiana, my husband went to school.

307
00:17:38,400 --> 00:17:42,800
We have having financial troubles and how are we going to make it?

308
00:17:42,800 --> 00:17:46,120
But the Lord has always provided.

309
00:17:46,120 --> 00:17:51,320
Even before you knew him, even before, I mean, he always knew you, but before you knew he

310
00:17:51,320 --> 00:17:53,920
knew you, he was still providing.

311
00:17:53,920 --> 00:17:54,920
Yes.

312
00:17:54,920 --> 00:18:00,040
Now, and when he was, I wasn't thanking him because like you said, I didn't know that

313
00:18:00,040 --> 00:18:01,040
it was him.

314
00:18:01,040 --> 00:18:07,040
But when I look back, it's like, wow, Lord, even when I was lost in my darkness, wasn't

315
00:18:07,040 --> 00:18:13,360
following you, wasn't trying to know you, you were still good to us and to our family.

316
00:18:13,360 --> 00:18:19,120
I mean, I remember one time when I was working and we were still in Houston and I told my

317
00:18:19,120 --> 00:18:22,680
husband, I was like, well, today's the last day that we have food.

318
00:18:22,680 --> 00:18:24,440
We don't have anything else.

319
00:18:24,440 --> 00:18:31,600
I go to work and it was employee appreciation day and they were having a carnival or really

320
00:18:31,600 --> 00:18:34,600
big to do about that day.

321
00:18:34,600 --> 00:18:38,520
And so they were giving out tickets so you can have one of this and one of that, you

322
00:18:38,520 --> 00:18:40,260
know, based on the ticket.

323
00:18:40,260 --> 00:18:45,840
And then all of a sudden my coworkers are like, hey, Stephanie, do you want my tickets?

324
00:18:45,840 --> 00:18:46,840
I'm not going.

325
00:18:46,840 --> 00:18:47,900
Do you want my tickets?

326
00:18:47,900 --> 00:18:49,880
And I got all these tickets.

327
00:18:49,880 --> 00:18:54,760
And so our food had increased from, you know, this is it.

328
00:18:54,760 --> 00:18:59,080
There's nothing else coming to heaven and abundance and didn't know that that was the

329
00:18:59,080 --> 00:19:02,360
Lord, but that was the Lord moving even then.

330
00:19:02,360 --> 00:19:07,560
But you came to kind of a dark night of the soul where you didn't know you were going

331
00:19:07,560 --> 00:19:09,120
to even make it through.

332
00:19:09,120 --> 00:19:11,720
What happened in that?

333
00:19:11,720 --> 00:19:17,120
When we moved to Louisiana, we thought we were just really moving to escape from Houston

334
00:19:17,120 --> 00:19:19,960
and all the drama that was going on there.

335
00:19:19,960 --> 00:19:26,600
And it ended up being, no, the Lord wanted to work on me and deal with me in my darkness.

336
00:19:26,600 --> 00:19:34,800
And so when we were in Louisiana, I all of my past, all my childhood issues, all of my

337
00:19:34,800 --> 00:19:38,360
garbage, all of that came to the forefront.

338
00:19:38,360 --> 00:19:40,480
And I'm hit with all of these emotions.

339
00:19:40,480 --> 00:19:42,360
I don't know what's going on.

340
00:19:42,360 --> 00:19:48,080
And as I said, I ended up becoming really, really depressed to the point that I was suicidal

341
00:19:48,080 --> 00:19:54,160
that have the knife in my hand or unbuckling my seatbelt, you know, trying to figure out

342
00:19:54,160 --> 00:19:59,120
if I roll just right, you know, will I kill myself or will my husband have to take care

343
00:19:59,120 --> 00:20:03,560
of me, you know, in this, you know, this state because I didn't do it right.

344
00:20:03,560 --> 00:20:07,480
I would constantly hear these voices telling me nobody loves you.

345
00:20:07,480 --> 00:20:08,700
No one cares.

346
00:20:08,700 --> 00:20:13,040
You need to you need to kill yourself and, you know, just go ahead and do it.

347
00:20:13,040 --> 00:20:16,860
And these voices just kept pressing and pressing for me to do it.

348
00:20:16,860 --> 00:20:23,160
But I remembered when this would happen that when I was in the Catholic school, they had

349
00:20:23,160 --> 00:20:26,800
taught us the poem Dante's Inferno.

350
00:20:26,800 --> 00:20:30,640
And I remember from that, I don't remember anything else really about the poem other

351
00:20:30,640 --> 00:20:37,880
than this piece where it says there was a drawing and it said at the top of the doorpost

352
00:20:37,880 --> 00:20:43,600
as you're entering into hell that it says, abandon all hope, ye who enter here.

353
00:20:43,600 --> 00:20:49,360
And when I would want to kill myself, I would think back to that abandon all hope because

354
00:20:49,360 --> 00:20:54,040
it's like, OK, maybe tomorrow might be better at least on earth.

355
00:20:54,040 --> 00:21:00,440
But if I actually die and go to hell, there's no tomorrow that I can even hope for.

356
00:21:00,440 --> 00:21:05,880
And so that would keep me from wanting to actually hurt and harm myself.

357
00:21:05,880 --> 00:21:07,680
I still didn't know what to do.

358
00:21:07,680 --> 00:21:08,880
I still was depressed.

359
00:21:08,880 --> 00:21:10,960
I still wanted to kill myself.

360
00:21:10,960 --> 00:21:14,120
I still kept hearing these voices telling me to do it.

361
00:21:14,120 --> 00:21:18,880
And so I went for a doctor's appointment and it was it was a scheduled appointment for

362
00:21:18,880 --> 00:21:20,720
something else.

363
00:21:20,720 --> 00:21:26,880
And my husband is there with me and I just decide that I need to tell somebody.

364
00:21:26,880 --> 00:21:32,740
And so I tell the doctor, I was like, hey, could you write me a prescription to give

365
00:21:32,740 --> 00:21:37,440
me something to stop these voices from talking to me because I really don't want to kill

366
00:21:37,440 --> 00:21:39,360
myself and go to hell.

367
00:21:39,360 --> 00:21:43,680
And so he looks at me like, what are you talking about?

368
00:21:43,680 --> 00:21:45,640
My husband puts his face down.

369
00:21:45,640 --> 00:21:48,840
He's like, oh, no, you didn't tell him that, did you?

370
00:21:48,840 --> 00:21:51,080
So the doctor, he says, I'll be right back.

371
00:21:51,080 --> 00:21:52,280
And I was like, OK.

372
00:21:52,280 --> 00:21:57,640
And so he walks out, takes a few minutes, and then he comes back with this piece of

373
00:21:57,640 --> 00:21:59,880
paper, it's colored piece of paper.

374
00:21:59,880 --> 00:22:04,560
And he says, well, Stephanie, you have one or two options.

375
00:22:04,560 --> 00:22:10,640
He said you can either go willingly and you can be, you know, in the facility for eight

376
00:22:10,640 --> 00:22:17,040
days or longer if you choose, or you can go in voluntarily and you're going to have to

377
00:22:17,040 --> 00:22:20,420
stay in a facility for 30 days at least.

378
00:22:20,420 --> 00:22:23,700
And I said, OK, well, I'll go ahead and choose option one.

379
00:22:23,700 --> 00:22:29,360
My husband drives me to the hospital to a psychiatric to the psychiatric ward.

380
00:22:29,360 --> 00:22:36,560
I was there in misery for eight days dealing with the depression and the suicidal thoughts.

381
00:22:36,560 --> 00:22:41,240
I was so depressed and even more depressed because now I don't even have my husband to

382
00:22:41,240 --> 00:22:42,480
talk to.

383
00:22:42,480 --> 00:22:43,480
I was so depressed.

384
00:22:43,480 --> 00:22:49,700
I made the suicidal people in the psychiatric ward more depressed than what they were.

385
00:22:49,700 --> 00:22:54,640
And they were complaining, could you please shut her up because they couldn't sleep because

386
00:22:54,640 --> 00:22:56,200
I was crying all night.

387
00:22:56,200 --> 00:22:58,820
It was a really major ordeal.

388
00:22:58,820 --> 00:23:01,080
So when I got out of there, guess what?

389
00:23:01,080 --> 00:23:03,080
I still had my issues.

390
00:23:03,080 --> 00:23:04,440
It didn't do anything for me.

391
00:23:04,440 --> 00:23:06,320
I was still getting tormented.

392
00:23:06,320 --> 00:23:07,880
I was still having the thoughts.

393
00:23:07,880 --> 00:23:09,040
All that stuff remained.

394
00:23:09,040 --> 00:23:14,600
And so what happened is that I would go to sleep at night and I would start having these

395
00:23:14,600 --> 00:23:16,200
dreams of torment.

396
00:23:16,200 --> 00:23:21,600
Everything that I feared in life would be in these dreams.

397
00:23:21,600 --> 00:23:27,120
This boy started coming in the midst of the dreams and would say, choose this day whom

398
00:23:27,120 --> 00:23:30,040
you are going to serve.

399
00:23:30,040 --> 00:23:31,040
And I didn't understand.

400
00:23:31,040 --> 00:23:34,080
I'm like, who is this talking to me?

401
00:23:34,080 --> 00:23:35,360
Why are you talking to me?

402
00:23:35,360 --> 00:23:36,840
And what do you mean choose?

403
00:23:36,840 --> 00:23:38,120
I've already chosen God.

404
00:23:38,120 --> 00:23:39,820
I'm a Catholic.

405
00:23:39,820 --> 00:23:41,400
And so I didn't get it.

406
00:23:41,400 --> 00:23:43,240
And so these dreams would continue.

407
00:23:43,240 --> 00:23:44,920
They would intensify.

408
00:23:44,920 --> 00:23:50,520
I started seeing things when I was awake that aren't supposed to be there.

409
00:23:50,520 --> 00:23:51,640
All this stuff is going on.

410
00:23:51,640 --> 00:23:56,040
And so days happen and I'm in the middle of the night still having these dreams.

411
00:23:56,040 --> 00:23:57,440
I'm feeling things in my body.

412
00:23:57,440 --> 00:23:59,680
I don't know what's going on with me.

413
00:23:59,680 --> 00:24:05,660
And then during the midst of one of the dreams, I finally was like, oh, wait a minute.

414
00:24:05,660 --> 00:24:12,040
How can I say that I love God and I want to follow him, but yet I want to kill myself?

415
00:24:12,040 --> 00:24:15,060
It's like those really don't mix together.

416
00:24:15,060 --> 00:24:16,760
So something is wrong.

417
00:24:16,760 --> 00:24:21,880
And so as I'm talking, trying to logically think this through, I'm like, I don't think

418
00:24:21,880 --> 00:24:25,680
I really love the Lord like I say I do.

419
00:24:25,680 --> 00:24:28,760
And this was a revelation that you came to just all by yourself.

420
00:24:28,760 --> 00:24:33,480
I mean, you didn't have, you weren't listening to any preachers on the air or going to church

421
00:24:33,480 --> 00:24:36,560
or no, this was just a revelation from the Lord.

422
00:24:36,560 --> 00:24:40,040
Yes, this is directly from the Lord.

423
00:24:40,040 --> 00:24:43,000
The person who called me to the altar was him.

424
00:24:43,000 --> 00:24:49,840
You know, that's so encouraging because sometimes we pray and pray.

425
00:24:49,840 --> 00:24:53,800
In fact, you know, I'm praying for a few people that I know are not going to church.

426
00:24:53,800 --> 00:24:54,800
They need God.

427
00:24:54,800 --> 00:24:56,960
They're not going to be tormented like you were.

428
00:24:56,960 --> 00:24:59,520
And I just think, God, you know, how are you going to reach him?

429
00:24:59,520 --> 00:25:04,040
I mean, I know he will, but you know, in my own mind, I can't figure out how he's going

430
00:25:04,040 --> 00:25:05,040
to do it.

431
00:25:05,040 --> 00:25:06,040
Yes.

432
00:25:06,040 --> 00:25:08,480
But hearing this story, hearing this testimony is so encouraging.

433
00:25:08,480 --> 00:25:11,920
I mean, God will get through no matter what he's going to get through.

434
00:25:11,920 --> 00:25:13,680
Yes, he will get through.

435
00:25:13,680 --> 00:25:20,480
And he got through to me and that night I said, I choose you Lord.

436
00:25:20,480 --> 00:25:22,160
Everything just lifted.

437
00:25:22,160 --> 00:25:23,160
There were no more dreams.

438
00:25:23,160 --> 00:25:24,640
There were no more torments.

439
00:25:24,640 --> 00:25:27,440
There was no more seeing things that aren't there.

440
00:25:27,440 --> 00:25:29,720
There were no more of the suicidal thoughts.

441
00:25:29,720 --> 00:25:33,000
I had a deliverance in my house going on.

442
00:25:33,000 --> 00:25:35,280
Didn't even know what deliverance, you know, was.

443
00:25:35,280 --> 00:25:36,280
Wow.

444
00:25:36,280 --> 00:25:37,280
Back then.

445
00:25:37,280 --> 00:25:38,280
And you know, all of this.

446
00:25:38,280 --> 00:25:43,480
And I woke up the next morning and my husband saw me and he's like, what happened to you?

447
00:25:43,480 --> 00:25:45,840
I mean, he can even see in my face.

448
00:25:45,840 --> 00:25:46,840
It was visible.

449
00:25:46,840 --> 00:25:48,120
It was visible to your husband.

450
00:25:48,120 --> 00:25:51,480
I mean, he knew something was going on and it was a good thing this time.

451
00:25:51,480 --> 00:25:56,800
And so, yeah, so when my life changed, his life changed because a lot of the stuff that

452
00:25:56,800 --> 00:26:02,440
I was dealing with, a lot of the pressure from it had lifted.

453
00:26:02,440 --> 00:26:10,280
When did you like really realize it was Jesus and really start pursuing a walk with him?

454
00:26:10,280 --> 00:26:15,600
Back in those days, when I went to Catholic school, we were taught that we were heathens.

455
00:26:15,600 --> 00:26:18,240
We weren't worthy of anything.

456
00:26:18,240 --> 00:26:22,040
And so we weren't worthy to open the Bible and read it.

457
00:26:22,040 --> 00:26:28,680
And so I have never picked up a Bible and read a Bible before until I went to Louisiana.

458
00:26:28,680 --> 00:26:32,520
The scriptures was they were always read to us.

459
00:26:32,520 --> 00:26:35,520
So when I'm dealing with all of this stuff and the demonic and everything that's going

460
00:26:35,520 --> 00:26:40,960
on, I decide that I want to open up the Bible.

461
00:26:40,960 --> 00:26:44,000
And you know, I cracked it open and I didn't die.

462
00:26:44,000 --> 00:26:45,000
Yeah.

463
00:26:45,000 --> 00:26:46,000
Surprise, surprise.

464
00:26:46,000 --> 00:26:54,520
And so I started reading it and then I'm like scratching my head because I'm like, wait

465
00:26:54,520 --> 00:26:55,800
a minute.

466
00:26:55,800 --> 00:26:59,960
What I'm reading is different from what I've been taught.

467
00:26:59,960 --> 00:27:03,800
I would go to the Catholic Church and I'm like, hey, I have a question.

468
00:27:03,800 --> 00:27:07,920
And I'm like, the Bible says this, but this is what I was taught.

469
00:27:07,920 --> 00:27:08,920
And can you help me?

470
00:27:08,920 --> 00:27:12,400
Many times they're like, well, this is just what we do.

471
00:27:12,400 --> 00:27:13,840
Don't worry about what that says.

472
00:27:13,840 --> 00:27:17,180
You just need to follow the Catholic faith and the Catholic tradition.

473
00:27:17,180 --> 00:27:22,600
So all of that started making me having having doubts about what am I in?

474
00:27:22,600 --> 00:27:25,320
You know, am I really following the Lord?

475
00:27:25,320 --> 00:27:26,320
What is this?

476
00:27:26,320 --> 00:27:33,720
And so so when combining that, when I was already seeking truth, went down the tormenting

477
00:27:33,720 --> 00:27:41,200
dreams when I finally woke up and said, oh, that's that's the Lord talking to me and surrender.

478
00:27:41,200 --> 00:27:46,760
Then I knew, OK, what I've been taught, not all of it was wrong, but there were some parts

479
00:27:46,760 --> 00:27:48,560
that were wrong or missing.

480
00:27:48,560 --> 00:27:53,440
So once I had that moment and I felt and I knew that I had been transformed, I started

481
00:27:53,440 --> 00:27:57,160
seeking the Lord then left the Catholic Church.

482
00:27:57,160 --> 00:28:01,800
I went to Baptist Church and then eventually non-denominational.

483
00:28:01,800 --> 00:28:05,800
But that started me on a journey, a journey for truth.

484
00:28:05,800 --> 00:28:12,160
And now, because I had that deception in the beginning, when I go to someone else, I'm

485
00:28:12,160 --> 00:28:17,640
always lining it up with the word because I don't want to be deceived again.

486
00:28:17,640 --> 00:28:23,400
It started me on this journey and I just kept increasing more and more and learning about

487
00:28:23,400 --> 00:28:29,680
who the Lord actually is according to His word, not according to what people say or

488
00:28:29,680 --> 00:28:31,080
their perception of Him.

489
00:28:31,080 --> 00:28:36,080
Well, you know, God always is concerned about the poor and the widows and the fatherless.

490
00:28:36,080 --> 00:28:40,680
And Somebody Cares right now has provided opportunities for believers to be involved

491
00:28:40,680 --> 00:28:41,720
in that.

492
00:28:41,720 --> 00:28:45,240
And that's why we created a Widows and Orphan Fund.

493
00:28:45,240 --> 00:28:52,000
In James 1, 27, in the New Living Translation, which is a translation I've come to love,

494
00:28:52,000 --> 00:28:58,240
it says, pure and genuine religion or really relationship in the sight of God, our Father

495
00:28:58,240 --> 00:29:03,200
means caring for orphans and widows in their distress and refusing to let the world corrupt

496
00:29:03,200 --> 00:29:04,200
you.

497
00:29:04,200 --> 00:29:10,200
And as we record this, there is a huge need right now to help Ukrainian orphans, Haitian

498
00:29:10,200 --> 00:29:15,360
orphans and orphans around the world who've experienced some of the things that Stephanie

499
00:29:15,360 --> 00:29:17,040
experienced as a young girl.

500
00:29:17,040 --> 00:29:20,520
Many are dealing with traumas of war and other things.

501
00:29:20,520 --> 00:29:25,500
And as a company of women together, we can do so much to help them experience the tangible

502
00:29:25,500 --> 00:29:27,000
love of our Father.

503
00:29:27,000 --> 00:29:32,240
If you want to join us, go to hergodstory.org and click on Help Now.

504
00:29:32,240 --> 00:29:38,680
So Stephanie, God gave you this really some insights on what it means to be a conqueror

505
00:29:38,680 --> 00:29:39,680
in Christ.

506
00:29:39,680 --> 00:29:41,120
It's a choice.

507
00:29:41,120 --> 00:29:42,120
Can you share more on that?

508
00:29:42,120 --> 00:29:46,760
Because as you're getting this revelation of who God is and what God has done in your

509
00:29:46,760 --> 00:29:54,820
life, you began to be able to forgive and to address some issues that had just been

510
00:29:54,820 --> 00:29:56,720
tormenting you for years.

511
00:29:56,720 --> 00:30:03,280
One of the things that I love about the Lord is that he gives us a choice that we can choose

512
00:30:03,280 --> 00:30:06,560
to do right or wrong, good or bad.

513
00:30:06,560 --> 00:30:13,320
He gives us that ability to do it, but he also gives us the power in order to do it.

514
00:30:13,320 --> 00:30:15,720
Because some of this stuff, you know, it was hard.

515
00:30:15,720 --> 00:30:19,960
You know, I struggled in life and I had anger issues.

516
00:30:19,960 --> 00:30:25,360
I was mad at people that did some of the things to me and how my life ended up turning out

517
00:30:25,360 --> 00:30:31,440
because of those things and how much it impacted me when I got married and when I have kids.

518
00:30:31,440 --> 00:30:34,440
And so, you know, I had all of that that I needed to deal with.

519
00:30:34,440 --> 00:30:39,840
But the Bible tells us that, you know, there are going to be trials.

520
00:30:39,840 --> 00:30:46,600
There are going to be issues and struggles and hardships and persecutions and sufferings.

521
00:30:46,600 --> 00:30:51,640
But he said in the midst of all of that, that I have made you more than able.

522
00:30:51,640 --> 00:30:55,800
I have equipped you to be able to overcome all of these things.

523
00:30:55,800 --> 00:31:01,040
And of myself, there is no way that I would have forgiven the people that have hurt me

524
00:31:01,040 --> 00:31:06,520
because I had every right to be angry because the things were wrong and the things were

525
00:31:06,520 --> 00:31:07,520
evil.

526
00:31:07,520 --> 00:31:11,680
But those rights were taken away when I came to the Lord.

527
00:31:11,680 --> 00:31:18,020
So he said we have to forgive and we have to show mercy just as he has forgiven us.

528
00:31:18,020 --> 00:31:20,440
He says that we have the ability to do that.

529
00:31:20,440 --> 00:31:21,640
So how did you do that?

530
00:31:21,640 --> 00:31:23,440
I mean, that's not an easy thing to do.

531
00:31:23,440 --> 00:31:24,440
It's not.

532
00:31:24,440 --> 00:31:25,920
I had to choose to do it.

533
00:31:25,920 --> 00:31:31,080
I had to realize I had to come to the point to say as a child of God, I had no right to

534
00:31:31,080 --> 00:31:37,720
be unmerciful and unforgiving because I had to look at my life and I had to see where

535
00:31:37,720 --> 00:31:41,680
I came from and all the things that I've done wrong.

536
00:31:41,680 --> 00:31:44,080
Sin is sin in the eyes of the Lord.

537
00:31:44,080 --> 00:31:49,340
So their sin may be different from mine, but I'm no better when I was living in darkness

538
00:31:49,340 --> 00:31:57,120
as well and I think how could God, how can he forgive me for all the wrong things that

539
00:31:57,120 --> 00:31:58,120
I have done?

540
00:31:58,120 --> 00:32:00,260
I've been told all my life that I'm unworthy.

541
00:32:00,260 --> 00:32:05,860
So why would someone that's so perfect and so holy, why would he forgive me of all the

542
00:32:05,860 --> 00:32:13,640
things that I have done when I'm like, wow, he has that type of love for me, but he also

543
00:32:13,640 --> 00:32:16,720
has that type of love for them.

544
00:32:16,720 --> 00:32:23,160
And I'm like, if the Lord can forgive me in all of my stuff and he's perfect, there's

545
00:32:23,160 --> 00:32:26,640
no sin, no mistake, no error in him.

546
00:32:26,640 --> 00:32:29,040
And I was all screwed up when I came to him.

547
00:32:29,040 --> 00:32:35,060
And if he could do that for me, why can't I do that for someone else?

548
00:32:35,060 --> 00:32:41,000
And so I had to ask the Lord, Lord, my will is to forgive them.

549
00:32:41,000 --> 00:32:43,240
My feelings right now, I still have them.

550
00:32:43,240 --> 00:32:44,240
I'm still mad.

551
00:32:44,240 --> 00:32:47,000
I still hurt, but I choose to forgive them.

552
00:32:47,000 --> 00:32:51,020
And so I need you to help me to forgive them.

553
00:32:51,020 --> 00:33:01,720
And so what the Lord did is that he started showing me their hurt, their sin, their darkness,

554
00:33:01,720 --> 00:33:05,960
their life, what they're living in without Christ.

555
00:33:05,960 --> 00:33:11,920
And all that brokenness and all that darkness leads to the things that happened to me or

556
00:33:11,920 --> 00:33:17,440
that happens to other people, because there's a saying that hurt people hurt people.

557
00:33:17,440 --> 00:33:18,440
They do.

558
00:33:18,440 --> 00:33:22,200
Broke people, people that are broken, they break other people.

559
00:33:22,200 --> 00:33:27,080
I had to look at, wow, I'm just thinking about myself, but I had to start looking at them

560
00:33:27,080 --> 00:33:28,320
like, wow, they're really struggling.

561
00:33:28,320 --> 00:33:33,480
Oh yeah, I remember my cousin and their life and how bad it was for them and some of the

562
00:33:33,480 --> 00:33:34,720
things that they went through.

563
00:33:34,720 --> 00:33:40,960
So it helped me to understand and apply mercy when I didn't want to apply mercy.

564
00:33:40,960 --> 00:33:45,960
And so walking through that process was able to help me to forgive them.

565
00:33:45,960 --> 00:33:53,720
And also the more I fell in love with Jesus, the more the hate, the anger, and all of those

566
00:33:53,720 --> 00:33:55,680
feelings went away.

567
00:33:55,680 --> 00:34:02,640
And so because we're supposed to become more and more like him as we do, then all of those

568
00:34:02,640 --> 00:34:08,920
other things that are not of the spirit, all of those things fade away because you are

569
00:34:08,920 --> 00:34:12,440
like, I love Jesus and Jesus loves me.

570
00:34:12,440 --> 00:34:15,160
And the Bible tells us we are to love other people.

571
00:34:15,160 --> 00:34:22,840
And as I serve, I realized just how much more I love people and how the Lord took my heart

572
00:34:22,840 --> 00:34:29,840
of stone and massaged it and broke it into pieces and gave me a heart of flesh that has

573
00:34:29,840 --> 00:34:30,960
compassion.

574
00:34:30,960 --> 00:34:36,240
And so now I'm able to apply that to people that I know in love.

575
00:34:36,240 --> 00:34:41,400
It was easy for me to go on the streets and love on people that I didn't know, but it

576
00:34:41,400 --> 00:34:45,840
was harder to love on people that I knew that personally hurt me.

577
00:34:45,840 --> 00:34:48,720
And so the Lord had to help me through that process.

578
00:34:48,720 --> 00:34:53,800
And he did because I was willing, not because my heart was there at the time.

579
00:34:53,800 --> 00:34:58,360
It's because I said, Lord, I want to, your word says that we are supposed to forgive,

580
00:34:58,360 --> 00:35:00,280
that we are supposed to love people.

581
00:35:00,280 --> 00:35:02,400
I want to be in right relationship with you.

582
00:35:02,400 --> 00:35:05,860
I want to be in right relationship with the people, but you're going to have to help me

583
00:35:05,860 --> 00:35:06,860
do that.

584
00:35:06,860 --> 00:35:07,860
And he did.

585
00:35:07,860 --> 00:35:08,860
Amen.

586
00:35:08,860 --> 00:35:11,400
It reminds me of a story I read about Corey Ten Boon.

587
00:35:11,400 --> 00:35:13,600
I don't know if you know who she is.

588
00:35:13,600 --> 00:35:19,000
Corey Ten Boon was a woman who, a Dutch woman who during World War II, she and her whole

589
00:35:19,000 --> 00:35:22,480
family were arrested for helping Jews.

590
00:35:22,480 --> 00:35:23,480
She was a Christian.

591
00:35:23,480 --> 00:35:28,920
She was taken to one of the most notorious concentration camps in all of Germany, Ravensbruck.

592
00:35:28,920 --> 00:35:32,240
She was brutalized, humiliated.

593
00:35:32,240 --> 00:35:35,120
Her sister died in the midst of that.

594
00:35:35,120 --> 00:35:38,720
They saw God's provision in the midst of it, but the guards were vicious.

595
00:35:38,720 --> 00:35:40,960
She was released in the middle of the war miraculously.

596
00:35:40,960 --> 00:35:46,200
But after the war, she traveled around and really shared her story and the love of God

597
00:35:46,200 --> 00:35:48,040
and forgiveness and mercy.

598
00:35:48,040 --> 00:35:52,160
And one day she was speaking somewhere about the love of God.

599
00:35:52,160 --> 00:35:57,080
And in the back of the room, she saw one of the guards at Ravensbruck who had been particularly

600
00:35:57,080 --> 00:36:01,220
brutal, particularly brutal to her sister and to her.

601
00:36:01,220 --> 00:36:05,960
And at the end of the session, she was just trying to beeline it out of that room.

602
00:36:05,960 --> 00:36:10,280
And she saw that guard coming up toward her and she didn't want to talk to him.

603
00:36:10,280 --> 00:36:16,360
But you know, they came face to face and he said, oh, you know, I'm so sorry for what

604
00:36:16,360 --> 00:36:17,360
I did to you.

605
00:36:17,360 --> 00:36:18,400
And would you please forgive me?

606
00:36:18,400 --> 00:36:23,080
And she just had hatred in her heart well up toward him.

607
00:36:23,080 --> 00:36:26,160
And she said, I don't want to forgive, you know, in her mind, she's having a conversation

608
00:36:26,160 --> 00:36:27,160
with the Lord.

609
00:36:27,160 --> 00:36:28,160
I don't want to forgive him.

610
00:36:28,160 --> 00:36:29,160
I can't forgive him, Lord.

611
00:36:29,160 --> 00:36:32,760
And God said the same thing, you know, that you said, I forgave you.

612
00:36:32,760 --> 00:36:34,520
How can you not forgive him?

613
00:36:34,520 --> 00:36:37,600
She was a woman who kept short accounts with the Lord.

614
00:36:37,600 --> 00:36:40,600
And she said, OK, Lord, I don't know how to forgive him.

615
00:36:40,600 --> 00:36:43,280
But if you will help me forgive him, I will forgive him.

616
00:36:43,280 --> 00:36:49,920
So she reached up her arm to shake his hand and love and forgiveness just flowed through

617
00:36:49,920 --> 00:36:50,920
her being.

618
00:36:50,920 --> 00:36:51,920
She just felt it.

619
00:36:51,920 --> 00:36:53,720
So it was that, you know, it was that choice.

620
00:36:53,720 --> 00:36:55,520
It was that choice of obedience.

621
00:36:55,520 --> 00:36:56,960
And then God did the rest.

622
00:36:56,960 --> 00:36:57,960
He did the rest.

623
00:36:57,960 --> 00:36:58,960
Exactly.

624
00:36:58,960 --> 00:37:04,600
And what I love about that is that the forgiveness was more about me than it really was for them,

625
00:37:04,600 --> 00:37:06,880
because some people, they're not asking for forgiveness.

626
00:37:06,880 --> 00:37:08,400
They don't want forgiveness.

627
00:37:08,400 --> 00:37:11,920
They don't think what they did was wrong or wasn't that bad.

628
00:37:11,920 --> 00:37:18,760
And so it was about me because I'm in a type of bondage being held back.

629
00:37:18,760 --> 00:37:22,560
My heart is hard because I don't want to forgive someone.

630
00:37:22,560 --> 00:37:26,560
And so when I forgive them, you just feel this release.

631
00:37:26,560 --> 00:37:29,320
You know, it's freedom and forgiveness.

632
00:37:29,320 --> 00:37:35,380
And so that's what I learned during that process is that to set me free, that I need to be

633
00:37:35,380 --> 00:37:37,600
able to forgive other people.

634
00:37:37,600 --> 00:37:43,640
And so, you know, like I said, it wasn't an easy process, but it was a needed process.

635
00:37:43,640 --> 00:37:48,680
And I learned through that how to love people beyond.

636
00:37:48,680 --> 00:37:54,080
It doesn't matter what they have done to be able to love them and to truly love them,

637
00:37:54,080 --> 00:37:59,560
not just say that I forgive them, but to love them, to pray for them, to bless them.

638
00:37:59,560 --> 00:38:02,560
You know, you don't cringe when you hear their name anymore.

639
00:38:02,560 --> 00:38:07,520
You don't say no when you really could say yes, when they need help to truly love them

640
00:38:07,520 --> 00:38:08,800
as Christ loves them.

641
00:38:08,800 --> 00:38:09,800
That's another step.

642
00:38:09,800 --> 00:38:12,520
I mean, forgive and forget is one thing.

643
00:38:12,520 --> 00:38:13,520
Forgive and love.

644
00:38:13,520 --> 00:38:17,840
Boy, that's something you can only do with the power of the Holy Spirit in you.

645
00:38:17,840 --> 00:38:18,840
Yes.

646
00:38:18,840 --> 00:38:22,800
So you've been a nurse, you know, you've raised your children and now you and your husband

647
00:38:22,800 --> 00:38:24,200
are co-pastoring a church.

648
00:38:24,200 --> 00:38:26,160
How did that come about?

649
00:38:26,160 --> 00:38:33,360
Well, one day I was seeking the Lord and I wanted to know what my purpose was.

650
00:38:33,360 --> 00:38:38,040
I was like, Lord, I know I'm on this earth for a reason, but I don't know what it is

651
00:38:38,040 --> 00:38:40,800
and I'm fasting and praying until you tell me.

652
00:38:40,800 --> 00:38:42,720
I need you to speak to me.

653
00:38:42,720 --> 00:38:48,480
During that period of prayer and fasting is when the Lord called me to be a minister.

654
00:38:48,480 --> 00:38:54,240
Now, when I was praying, praying and fasting and seeking the Lord, I wasn't seeking that.

655
00:38:54,240 --> 00:38:55,240
Yeah.

656
00:38:55,240 --> 00:39:00,480
You know, raised Catholic, went to Baptist and it's like, Lord, I'm a woman.

657
00:39:00,480 --> 00:39:03,760
What do you mean to do that?

658
00:39:03,760 --> 00:39:06,960
And so it was a shock, but he confirmed it through his word.

659
00:39:06,960 --> 00:39:08,880
He confirmed it through people.

660
00:39:08,880 --> 00:39:13,760
Then I went to my pastor and he said he was been expecting for me to come with that.

661
00:39:13,760 --> 00:39:15,320
And so all these confirmations came.

662
00:39:15,320 --> 00:39:18,080
And so that's kind of how it started for me.

663
00:39:18,080 --> 00:39:23,760
Then my husband ends up getting called from the Lord six months later to be a pastor.

664
00:39:23,760 --> 00:39:28,440
So we were faithfully serving at a church for three years thinking that we were just

665
00:39:28,440 --> 00:39:31,880
going to be there for the long haul.

666
00:39:31,880 --> 00:39:36,640
And all of a sudden the Lord says, no, you need to leave the church that you're at.

667
00:39:36,640 --> 00:39:38,840
And it's like, what?

668
00:39:38,840 --> 00:39:40,160
You know, we didn't.

669
00:39:40,160 --> 00:39:43,960
We felt that there were too many responsibilities that we had and no one was going to do what

670
00:39:43,960 --> 00:39:44,960
we were doing.

671
00:39:44,960 --> 00:39:45,960
No one was going to pick up.

672
00:39:45,960 --> 00:39:46,960
What?

673
00:39:46,960 --> 00:39:50,120
We went to other ministers and had a conversation with them.

674
00:39:50,120 --> 00:39:53,640
We didn't tell them we were leaving, but we were telling them that, hey, guys, you need

675
00:39:53,640 --> 00:39:54,640
to pick it up.

676
00:39:54,640 --> 00:39:55,640
We're doing all this stuff.

677
00:39:55,640 --> 00:39:56,640
We need help.

678
00:39:56,640 --> 00:39:57,640
You guys need help.

679
00:39:57,640 --> 00:40:00,280
We didn't leave and we ended up getting our feelings hurt.

680
00:40:00,280 --> 00:40:01,960
We experienced that.

681
00:40:01,960 --> 00:40:04,760
And then we were, you know, then we had to leave.

682
00:40:04,760 --> 00:40:09,640
We left and we came home and we thought that the Lord was going to put us in another church,

683
00:40:09,640 --> 00:40:14,880
plant us somewhere so we can be raised up to be taught how to be pastors.

684
00:40:14,880 --> 00:40:20,520
And so the Lord tells my husband, no, you aren't going, someone else isn't going to

685
00:40:20,520 --> 00:40:21,840
teach you.

686
00:40:21,840 --> 00:40:25,600
You're going to walk alongside me and I'm going to instruct you on what you need to

687
00:40:25,600 --> 00:40:26,600
do.

688
00:40:26,600 --> 00:40:27,840
And it's like, okay.

689
00:40:27,840 --> 00:40:33,480
So what we did is we started a church in our home and it was the church of the vigors.

690
00:40:33,480 --> 00:40:37,360
It was just us, our three kids, my husband and myself.

691
00:40:37,360 --> 00:40:39,960
And what we wanted to do is we wanted to go back to the basics.

692
00:40:39,960 --> 00:40:44,360
We want to go back to the foundation because we've been so many places and we want to make

693
00:40:44,360 --> 00:40:49,320
sure our kids understood the word, understood what we believe and that they actually did

694
00:40:49,320 --> 00:40:51,080
have a relationship with the Lord.

695
00:40:51,080 --> 00:40:52,080
Amen.

696
00:40:52,080 --> 00:40:54,680
So you really poured into your kids to make sure.

697
00:40:54,680 --> 00:41:00,840
Cause you know, I think so many, so many parents just assume that your kids are going to church,

698
00:41:00,840 --> 00:41:05,360
your kids are, you know, at a Christian school or your kids are, and they don't really spend

699
00:41:05,360 --> 00:41:13,320
that quality time making sure their kids are grounded in the faith that they are themselves.

700
00:41:13,320 --> 00:41:19,000
And you know, it's not necessarily on purpose, but unless you're intentional in doing that,

701
00:41:19,000 --> 00:41:20,000
it won't get done.

702
00:41:20,000 --> 00:41:21,000
Right.

703
00:41:21,000 --> 00:41:22,320
And I would say it's just an assumption.

704
00:41:22,320 --> 00:41:23,320
You can miss the mark.

705
00:41:23,320 --> 00:41:28,200
I think because the reason I didn't assume was because of my background, because I had

706
00:41:28,200 --> 00:41:29,440
already been deceived.

707
00:41:29,440 --> 00:41:33,520
I'm pretty sure I brought some of that into, you know, my children when I was raising them

708
00:41:33,520 --> 00:41:37,760
based off of what I knew or what I thought I knew about the Lord.

709
00:41:37,760 --> 00:41:43,280
And so because I had that background, I wanted to make sure I went back to make sure that

710
00:41:43,280 --> 00:41:45,400
everything was okay with them.

711
00:41:45,400 --> 00:41:49,400
And otherwise I probably would have been one too that would assume, Hey, I take them to

712
00:41:49,400 --> 00:41:50,400
church.

713
00:41:50,400 --> 00:41:51,400
They should be listening.

714
00:41:51,400 --> 00:41:53,800
They're, you know, they're serving, they're doing what they're supposed to do.

715
00:41:53,800 --> 00:41:55,840
And you can assume wrongly.

716
00:41:55,840 --> 00:42:00,520
So we did that and established a foundation, made sure that everything was okay.

717
00:42:00,520 --> 00:42:06,280
And then we eventually opened up the, our home to other people that we knew.

718
00:42:06,280 --> 00:42:08,840
And then ultimately opened it up to everyone.

719
00:42:08,840 --> 00:42:14,520
And then a year after that, the Lord said, okay, it's time to transition into a building.

720
00:42:14,520 --> 00:42:15,760
And so we did that.

721
00:42:15,760 --> 00:42:22,840
But all of this ministry, if you would ask anyone that knew me back then, you know, that

722
00:42:22,840 --> 00:42:28,480
would Stephanie become a minister serving the Lord, they'd go, absolutely not.

723
00:42:28,480 --> 00:42:34,920
And yet, you know, here I am serving the Lord and loving it.

724
00:42:34,920 --> 00:42:41,040
You really gave your past to the Lord and he has used the scars, the wounds and the

725
00:42:41,040 --> 00:42:45,800
healing that he's done and opened up so many doors for you to join him in ministry.

726
00:42:45,800 --> 00:42:46,800
Share some of those things.

727
00:42:46,800 --> 00:42:51,000
I mean, I just think of the Reinhardt Bonnke crusade and how you got involved in that and

728
00:42:51,000 --> 00:42:55,720
other doors that from where you came from, you'd never imagine you'd be working alongside

729
00:42:55,720 --> 00:43:00,640
a world renowned evangelist to bring hope to your city.

730
00:43:00,640 --> 00:43:03,820
You know, the Lord always surprises me.

731
00:43:03,820 --> 00:43:05,600
You know, always makes me smile.

732
00:43:05,600 --> 00:43:08,240
You know, first, you save me.

733
00:43:08,240 --> 00:43:09,800
We could just stop right there.

734
00:43:09,800 --> 00:43:10,800
That's good enough.

735
00:43:10,800 --> 00:43:15,320
If he didn't do anything else, I now have eternal life with him.

736
00:43:15,320 --> 00:43:20,520
And so to go beyond that and say, you know, I choose you to be a minister for me to go

737
00:43:20,520 --> 00:43:21,520
and proclaim the gospel.

738
00:43:21,520 --> 00:43:23,240
It's like, whoa, me?

739
00:43:23,240 --> 00:43:24,480
Do you remember my past?

740
00:43:24,480 --> 00:43:25,480
Are you serious?

741
00:43:25,480 --> 00:43:32,320
You know, and for that, and then to even go beyond that, I know you, I know somebody cares

742
00:43:32,320 --> 00:43:36,040
about all the relationships that the Lord has given us.

743
00:43:36,040 --> 00:43:40,440
It's like just mind blowing what the Lord has done.

744
00:43:40,440 --> 00:43:46,120
You know, there's so many people that are in our lives that I would have never expected

745
00:43:46,120 --> 00:43:48,040
that we would have relationships with.

746
00:43:48,040 --> 00:43:51,120
You mentioned, you know, Reinhardt, who's now with the Lord.

747
00:43:51,120 --> 00:43:56,920
But back in 2013, I was watching his first crusade that he was doing in the USA in Orlando,

748
00:43:56,920 --> 00:43:57,920
Florida.

749
00:43:57,920 --> 00:44:04,520
I was watching it on my computer and the screen refreshed and there was a pop up that says,

750
00:44:04,520 --> 00:44:08,040
hey, if you want us to come to your city, you know, click here.

751
00:44:08,040 --> 00:44:14,840
And then the Holy Spirit spoke to me and said, click, you know, sign up for them to come.

752
00:44:14,840 --> 00:44:17,960
And I was like, OK, because, you know, the Lord tells me to do something.

753
00:44:17,960 --> 00:44:18,960
I just do it.

754
00:44:18,960 --> 00:44:22,320
And then I freak out later, you know, but I was like, OK.

755
00:44:22,320 --> 00:44:26,160
And so, you know, I submitted that, finished watching the crusade.

756
00:44:26,160 --> 00:44:28,000
It was a two night crusade.

757
00:44:28,000 --> 00:44:32,400
And I did the following week happens and I didn't hear anything from from anyone.

758
00:44:32,400 --> 00:44:36,000
And I was like, OK, I said, well, maybe they were busy with the crusade and everyone's

759
00:44:36,000 --> 00:44:37,000
coming to Christ.

760
00:44:37,000 --> 00:44:39,200
And so it's like, let me email them again.

761
00:44:39,200 --> 00:44:44,960
And so I emailed them again and two weeks passed and no response.

762
00:44:44,960 --> 00:44:50,480
And so I looked up to the Lord and I said, OK, Lord, you told me to email these people.

763
00:44:50,480 --> 00:44:55,560
I've emailed them twice and they did not respond to the bloodsnot on my hands.

764
00:44:55,560 --> 00:44:57,240
And that's what I told him.

765
00:44:57,240 --> 00:45:03,280
And five minutes later, I get a phone call from Christ for All Nations and they got the

766
00:45:03,280 --> 00:45:04,280
email.

767
00:45:04,280 --> 00:45:09,560
And so we went through this process of working with pastors to to be a part of the crusade.

768
00:45:09,560 --> 00:45:15,440
Now, mind you, we've only been in ministry for at this point, two and a half, three years.

769
00:45:15,440 --> 00:45:16,440
And we're calling pastors.

770
00:45:16,440 --> 00:45:17,880
We don't even know these pastors.

771
00:45:17,880 --> 00:45:20,800
We're calling and Houston is not a small city.

772
00:45:20,800 --> 00:45:21,800
I mean, it's huge.

773
00:45:21,800 --> 00:45:24,800
You know, I mean, it's like knocking on their door.

774
00:45:24,800 --> 00:45:27,080
They're like, who are you and what do you want?

775
00:45:27,080 --> 00:45:31,880
And, you know, many of them didn't even know Ron Hart because he's more popular in Africa.

776
00:45:31,880 --> 00:45:35,400
And so but the Lord was with us through that difficult process.

777
00:45:35,400 --> 00:45:37,720
It was a difficult process as well.

778
00:45:37,720 --> 00:45:41,520
But from that, all these relationships develop.

779
00:45:41,520 --> 00:45:46,440
You know, we have the relationship with somebody cares and all the work that you guys are doing

780
00:45:46,440 --> 00:45:51,280
and supporting our ministry when we want to do particular outreaches and others as well.

781
00:45:51,280 --> 00:45:54,320
And all the work you're doing around the nation in the world.

782
00:45:54,320 --> 00:45:59,320
And then we have all these I call them assignments that the Lord would give us.

783
00:45:59,320 --> 00:46:06,320
We've done saturate Houston where the Jesus DVD, we helped to pull the body of Christ

784
00:46:06,320 --> 00:46:10,240
together to be able to distribute those DVDs door to door.

785
00:46:10,240 --> 00:46:14,480
So people, everyone wanted everyone in Houston to know about Jesus.

786
00:46:14,480 --> 00:46:18,520
And the funny thing about that is that I had prayed to the Lord and I said, Lord, I want

787
00:46:18,520 --> 00:46:21,960
everybody to know the name of Jesus in my city.

788
00:46:21,960 --> 00:46:25,040
And so I went to research how much it would cost to do DVDs.

789
00:46:25,040 --> 00:46:27,480
And we didn't have volunteers to be able to do this.

790
00:46:27,480 --> 00:46:29,120
But that was my heart.

791
00:46:29,120 --> 00:46:34,560
And I thought, oh, Lord, I don't have a million dollars, you know, or more to be able just

792
00:46:34,560 --> 00:46:36,600
to print the CDs.

793
00:46:36,600 --> 00:46:38,800
I didn't have enough money to do that.

794
00:46:38,800 --> 00:46:42,400
And then a couple of years later, he comes saturate Houston, they come to us and say,

795
00:46:42,400 --> 00:46:45,120
hey, you want to you want to help us facilitate this?

796
00:46:45,120 --> 00:46:46,560
And it's like, oh, thank you, Lord.

797
00:46:46,560 --> 00:46:49,120
And no money out, you know, just the labor.

798
00:46:49,120 --> 00:46:50,920
And so the Lord do things.

799
00:46:50,920 --> 00:46:55,120
God, God is faithful to fulfill the desires of our heart when our desires are his.

800
00:46:55,120 --> 00:46:56,440
He'll just step right in.

801
00:46:56,440 --> 00:46:59,760
I mean, he came with the CDs and the DVDs.

802
00:46:59,760 --> 00:47:00,760
He came with the volunteers.

803
00:47:00,760 --> 00:47:03,640
I mean, he came with everything that we needed.

804
00:47:03,640 --> 00:47:07,480
And you know, I was like, thank you, Lord, for putting all that together.

805
00:47:07,480 --> 00:47:08,480
And so we've done that.

806
00:47:08,480 --> 00:47:11,520
And of course, we did the crusade, we did Operation Saturation.

807
00:47:11,520 --> 00:47:18,480
Again, it was bringing the churches and ministry leaders together to love on the city in whatever

808
00:47:18,480 --> 00:47:22,320
way through evangelism or just a community outreach.

809
00:47:22,320 --> 00:47:25,520
It was one day where everyone was around the city doing this.

810
00:47:25,520 --> 00:47:27,400
It was absolutely wonderful.

811
00:47:27,400 --> 00:47:33,580
And we wanted the goal was to show Houston that the church is here, that we can work

812
00:47:33,580 --> 00:47:36,400
together and that Jesus loves you.

813
00:47:36,400 --> 00:47:41,440
We weren't our purpose was not to go and say, do you know, Jesus, let me preach the gospel.

814
00:47:41,440 --> 00:47:45,000
Our purpose that day was to love on them.

815
00:47:45,000 --> 00:47:51,160
And even with that 270 something people still came to the Lord because they saw the love

816
00:47:51,160 --> 00:47:53,560
of Jesus Christ being manifested.

817
00:47:53,560 --> 00:47:54,560
And so that was wonderful.

818
00:47:54,560 --> 00:47:57,440
Then we did Revival for Survival.

819
00:47:57,440 --> 00:47:59,880
We did that in October of 2020.

820
00:47:59,880 --> 00:48:05,240
And that was in a stadium event where we did 12 hours of prayer and worship.

821
00:48:05,240 --> 00:48:07,680
Again, believers coming together.

822
00:48:07,680 --> 00:48:12,160
You know, the Lord has really called us to bring the body of Christ together, bring leaders

823
00:48:12,160 --> 00:48:14,760
together because he wants us to be one.

824
00:48:14,760 --> 00:48:15,760
We're one family.

825
00:48:15,760 --> 00:48:20,440
We may go to different churches on Sunday, but you know, we're still one family that

826
00:48:20,440 --> 00:48:21,440
comes together.

827
00:48:21,440 --> 00:48:26,960
And so he has us do things that, you know, call for the body of Christ to be able to

828
00:48:26,960 --> 00:48:31,120
come as one and to be able to worship him.

829
00:48:31,120 --> 00:48:32,800
We've done the Bible project.

830
00:48:32,800 --> 00:48:39,280
The Bible project was when we had four different locations and people were there and we all

831
00:48:39,280 --> 00:48:41,080
read the Bible simultaneously.

832
00:48:41,080 --> 00:48:49,080
And within one hour all 66 books of the Bible were read aloud in different languages, different

833
00:48:49,080 --> 00:48:50,080
age groups.

834
00:48:50,080 --> 00:48:51,080
We had the young ones.

835
00:48:51,080 --> 00:48:52,080
We had the old ones.

836
00:48:52,080 --> 00:48:59,920
I mean, it was just absolutely beautiful to hear the recording of how it all sounds when

837
00:48:59,920 --> 00:49:01,280
everyone is reading.

838
00:49:01,280 --> 00:49:04,160
It was just a beautiful experience to be able to do that.

839
00:49:04,160 --> 00:49:05,160
And powerful too.

840
00:49:05,160 --> 00:49:07,960
I mean, when we declare the word of God, his word does not come back void.

841
00:49:07,960 --> 00:49:10,120
That's exactly what we wanted to do.

842
00:49:10,120 --> 00:49:13,600
We want to saturate our city with the word of God.

843
00:49:13,600 --> 00:49:17,560
Let it be taken with the wind to the four corners of our city.

844
00:49:17,560 --> 00:49:19,840
And that's exactly what we wanted to do.

845
00:49:19,840 --> 00:49:24,760
And then recently we did the Houston worship gathering and that was four different locations,

846
00:49:24,760 --> 00:49:31,320
North, South, East and West Houston, where we started and ended worship all at the same

847
00:49:31,320 --> 00:49:32,320
time.

848
00:49:32,320 --> 00:49:35,680
And so whatever side of town you lived on, that's the area you went to.

849
00:49:35,680 --> 00:49:38,200
And it was just about worshiping the Lord.

850
00:49:38,200 --> 00:49:39,600
That was it.

851
00:49:39,600 --> 00:49:44,720
And so we recently did that and just so many other citywide prayer gatherings, other type

852
00:49:44,720 --> 00:49:45,720
of community outreaches.

853
00:49:45,720 --> 00:49:53,200
We've given away new clothes, new shoes, of course food, just various things that the

854
00:49:53,200 --> 00:49:55,240
Lord has allowed for us to do.

855
00:49:55,240 --> 00:50:00,880
Because it's a privilege and an honor that the Lord entrusts you to be able to do something

856
00:50:00,880 --> 00:50:01,880
for him.

857
00:50:01,880 --> 00:50:07,240
And so just so thankful for every assignment, whether it's, you know, sometimes we lead,

858
00:50:07,240 --> 00:50:08,240
sometimes we serve.

859
00:50:08,240 --> 00:50:09,240
You know, it doesn't matter.

860
00:50:09,240 --> 00:50:13,000
If I'm in the front or if I'm in the back or if I'm dumping the trash, I'm all doing

861
00:50:13,000 --> 00:50:17,000
it for the glory of the Lord and he'll be pleased with my service unto him.

862
00:50:17,000 --> 00:50:18,760
And so it's just been wonderful.

863
00:50:18,760 --> 00:50:23,880
You know, you've done so many things over the, I mean, just, gosh, the past 10 years,

864
00:50:23,880 --> 00:50:24,880
I'd say.

865
00:50:24,880 --> 00:50:25,880
And what have you sensed?

866
00:50:25,880 --> 00:50:29,080
I mean, have you sensed a change in the spiritual atmosphere of your city?

867
00:50:29,080 --> 00:50:32,920
Are you seeing people come to Christ that were resistant before?

868
00:50:32,920 --> 00:50:34,720
Is there a change in the community?

869
00:50:34,720 --> 00:50:37,120
Yeah, I think that I have.

870
00:50:37,120 --> 00:50:43,360
I see that more people that are in the body of Christ are coming together, that the walls

871
00:50:43,360 --> 00:50:49,640
are coming down, that people, leaders aren't as threatened by other leaders thinking that

872
00:50:49,640 --> 00:50:53,920
they're going to take their membership or they want something from them, you know, that

873
00:50:53,920 --> 00:50:55,400
is truly just a relationship.

874
00:50:55,400 --> 00:50:58,520
We just want to be, you know, brother and sister in Christ.

875
00:50:58,520 --> 00:51:06,480
I see those walls coming down and us being able to work together more and more on different

876
00:51:06,480 --> 00:51:07,480
projects.

877
00:51:07,480 --> 00:51:08,680
And so I see that.

878
00:51:08,680 --> 00:51:19,040
I also see that the body of Christ itself is having a hunger for the Lord, having a hunger

879
00:51:19,040 --> 00:51:23,400
for truth, seeking him more about who he is.

880
00:51:23,400 --> 00:51:28,600
I think some of the situations that we've had happen in our nation has helped that.

881
00:51:28,600 --> 00:51:33,760
But I also think it's just the work that the Lord is already doing in people, as well as

882
00:51:33,760 --> 00:51:39,200
what they're seeing in their own neighborhoods, our job workplaces and what the church is

883
00:51:39,200 --> 00:51:40,200
doing.

884
00:51:40,200 --> 00:51:45,600
You know, that they're seeing more of the church come out of, as we say, you know, the

885
00:51:45,600 --> 00:51:47,280
doors or the walls of the church.

886
00:51:47,280 --> 00:51:50,440
You're seeing them more, you know, inside of the community.

887
00:51:50,440 --> 00:51:56,960
And so I see the body of Christ, you know, going just deeper and harder for the Lord.

888
00:51:56,960 --> 00:52:03,360
I see the young people in the body of Christ starting to work or honor or appreciate the

889
00:52:03,360 --> 00:52:06,760
older generation and vice versa.

890
00:52:06,760 --> 00:52:12,960
And I also see that it's easier to approach people that are not at least you don't know

891
00:52:12,960 --> 00:52:20,000
if they're of the Lord when you approach them, but it's easier for people to be approached

892
00:52:20,000 --> 00:52:25,040
instead of, you know, an immediate slam, you know, door in your face or immediate, you

893
00:52:25,040 --> 00:52:26,040
know, cut off.

894
00:52:26,040 --> 00:52:27,840
I don't want to talk to you in a grocery store.

895
00:52:27,840 --> 00:52:32,880
They're a little more receptive to, you know, at least allow you to come into their personal

896
00:52:32,880 --> 00:52:35,360
space to hear what you have to say.

897
00:52:35,360 --> 00:52:43,400
And then more hearts or being massaged by the Lord to be open to hearing the gospel.

898
00:52:43,400 --> 00:52:47,960
I do feel that not only the stuff that we've done, but, you know, my goodness, somebody

899
00:52:47,960 --> 00:52:48,960
cares.

900
00:52:48,960 --> 00:52:52,440
I think you guys been around for 40 years, you know, some of the other ministries, people

901
00:52:52,440 --> 00:52:57,920
that we, you know, that we work with for years and years and years have prayed and sold and

902
00:52:57,920 --> 00:52:58,920
labored.

903
00:52:58,920 --> 00:53:04,360
You know, they've they've sown in tears and, you know, all of that, you know, then we come

904
00:53:04,360 --> 00:53:09,400
in and enter into their labors to help alongside and then others behind us.

905
00:53:09,400 --> 00:53:13,840
All of that, I think, is helping to change the spiritual atmosphere in our city.

906
00:53:13,840 --> 00:53:16,560
You know, we believe that Houston shall be saved.

907
00:53:16,560 --> 00:53:21,240
And I believe that the Lord is setting us up for something really big and powerful that

908
00:53:21,240 --> 00:53:26,480
he is going to do to transform our city, not only because we prayed for it, because it

909
00:53:26,480 --> 00:53:30,720
was already declared and prophesied over 100 years ago that it shall be so.

910
00:53:30,720 --> 00:53:33,800
And like you say, the Lord's word never returns back to him void.

911
00:53:33,800 --> 00:53:36,560
It will accomplish that which he set it out to do.

912
00:53:36,560 --> 00:53:42,600
So I believe in 100 percent that all of this is for something greater that is coming and

913
00:53:42,600 --> 00:53:44,400
we're just getting prepared for it.

914
00:53:44,400 --> 00:53:48,860
Well, and, you know, as you were talking about the churches, the walls coming down and relationship

915
00:53:48,860 --> 00:53:52,640
developing among different congregations, we're all the church, right?

916
00:53:52,640 --> 00:53:54,040
We're all the church.

917
00:53:54,040 --> 00:53:57,360
It reminds me of that verse, and I don't remember exactly where it is, but it says, you know,

918
00:53:57,360 --> 00:54:01,560
the world will know you are Christians by the love you have for one another.

919
00:54:01,560 --> 00:54:04,880
And it's not that they'll know that we're a denomination of Christians.

920
00:54:04,880 --> 00:54:09,600
They'll know that we are followers of Christ because of the love we have for one another,

921
00:54:09,600 --> 00:54:14,080
because only God can give us the love for one another that will reflect his love to

922
00:54:14,080 --> 00:54:15,240
the world.

923
00:54:15,240 --> 00:54:20,560
And I'm just encouraging to hear that you're seeing that developing because it's so easy

924
00:54:20,560 --> 00:54:21,640
to be divided.

925
00:54:21,640 --> 00:54:24,240
And boy, we see so much division in the world these days.

926
00:54:24,240 --> 00:54:27,440
I mean, it seems like everybody's trying to divide everybody.

927
00:54:27,440 --> 00:54:32,820
But when the church, the body of Christ can come together and love, people will be astonished

928
00:54:32,820 --> 00:54:35,280
and they are astonished really when they see it.

929
00:54:35,280 --> 00:54:37,560
I mean, it astonishes us sometimes, right?

930
00:54:37,560 --> 00:54:38,560
Yes.

931
00:54:38,560 --> 00:54:40,120
I mean, we have to be like Jesus.

932
00:54:40,120 --> 00:54:43,880
Jesus said, look, there's only two things that you really need to focus on.

933
00:54:43,880 --> 00:54:47,320
Loving God with all your heart, mind, soul and strength and loving each other like I

934
00:54:47,320 --> 00:54:48,320
have loved you.

935
00:54:48,320 --> 00:54:54,000
Like your neighbor has just said, focus on that and everything else falls on that.

936
00:54:54,000 --> 00:55:01,960
And I think more of who we are or who we desire to be because we came to Christ with the whole

937
00:55:01,960 --> 00:55:05,520
intention of really serving and loving him and loving others.

938
00:55:05,520 --> 00:55:09,440
And sometimes we get caught up in all this other stuff and it changes our heart.

939
00:55:09,440 --> 00:55:12,040
But I believe that the Lord is bringing us back to that.

940
00:55:12,040 --> 00:55:14,120
He's bringing us back to the basics, the foundation.

941
00:55:14,120 --> 00:55:16,320
Love, love, love.

942
00:55:16,320 --> 00:55:17,680
Everything else will fade.

943
00:55:17,680 --> 00:55:20,720
His words gonna stand forever and love will endure forever.

944
00:55:20,720 --> 00:55:25,200
I really think he's bringing us back to just that basic foundation of love.

945
00:55:25,200 --> 00:55:31,400
You know, Stephanie, you have come out of some really difficult circumstances and situations.

946
00:55:31,400 --> 00:55:36,160
Can you give some practical things that you would recommend to someone who's either stuck

947
00:55:36,160 --> 00:55:42,320
in abusive relationship or a situation or those who are struggling still with past abuse?

948
00:55:42,320 --> 00:55:43,320
Okay, yeah.

949
00:55:43,320 --> 00:55:47,400
So I would say to someone that's stuck, get unstuck.

950
00:55:47,400 --> 00:55:50,320
Get unstuck and get out of that.

951
00:55:50,320 --> 00:55:54,680
You know, when I was physically abused, we didn't really talk about that part, but I

952
00:55:54,680 --> 00:55:56,600
was physically abused as a child.

953
00:55:56,600 --> 00:56:00,520
I ended up associating love with pain.

954
00:56:00,520 --> 00:56:06,680
If someone would hurt me, to me that was love because I was getting attention.

955
00:56:06,680 --> 00:56:09,000
You know, at least they felt I was worth hitting.

956
00:56:09,000 --> 00:56:15,760
You know, and so I ended up associating all negative behavior with love.

957
00:56:15,760 --> 00:56:20,840
And then when I came to the Lord and I'm reading his words, like, that's not love.

958
00:56:20,840 --> 00:56:24,680
It felt good for me to hurt, but that's not what God wanted for me.

959
00:56:24,680 --> 00:56:26,800
And that's not who he is.

960
00:56:26,800 --> 00:56:32,960
God, he's our father, but he's not abusive spiritually, physically, mentally, emotionally.

961
00:56:32,960 --> 00:56:35,440
He is not an abuser.

962
00:56:35,440 --> 00:56:41,920
So why would I allow someone else to abuse me if a God of all creation doesn't do that?

963
00:56:41,920 --> 00:56:43,560
Because he is love.

964
00:56:43,560 --> 00:56:48,100
Love is not supposed to hurt, not physical pain, emotional pain.

965
00:56:48,100 --> 00:56:49,100
That's not what it is.

966
00:56:49,100 --> 00:56:53,480
The Bible tells us there's no fear in love, but I feared all the time.

967
00:56:53,480 --> 00:56:57,120
You know, I feared the next time that I was going to get hit, even though I wanted to

968
00:56:57,120 --> 00:56:58,360
get hit.

969
00:56:58,360 --> 00:56:59,400
But I still feared it.

970
00:56:59,400 --> 00:57:00,720
There's no fear in love.

971
00:57:00,720 --> 00:57:04,400
And so if someone is doing that, then it tells you they don't love you.

972
00:57:04,400 --> 00:57:09,000
We are worthy to be loved because Jesus made us worthy to of it.

973
00:57:09,000 --> 00:57:15,800
And the Bible tells us that love, it doesn't dishonor other people, that it's not self-seeking,

974
00:57:15,800 --> 00:57:22,160
that it's not easily angered, and that love always, always means always, all the time

975
00:57:22,160 --> 00:57:23,160
love protects.

976
00:57:23,160 --> 00:57:29,280
And so if a person isn't in that type of relationship, they need to get out of it because that is

977
00:57:29,280 --> 00:57:32,000
not a God relationship.

978
00:57:32,000 --> 00:57:37,440
And they need to be in a God relationship where God is the center of it and that they

979
00:57:37,440 --> 00:57:40,880
truly experience love.

980
00:57:40,880 --> 00:57:46,000
Sometimes we have versions of love, a perception of what we think love is based on our previous

981
00:57:46,000 --> 00:57:52,200
experiences, our previous relationships, but we need to go to how does God define love?

982
00:57:52,200 --> 00:57:57,120
And if that's not the love that I'm receiving, then that's not the love that I want.

983
00:57:57,120 --> 00:58:03,800
A person needs to love themselves and then don't allow anyone else to love them differently.

984
00:58:03,800 --> 00:58:07,920
So if I love me, if you're going to be in a relationship with me, then you're going

985
00:58:07,920 --> 00:58:08,920
to love me too.

986
00:58:08,920 --> 00:58:13,000
I know the definition of love because it's based off of what God says.

987
00:58:13,000 --> 00:58:17,180
You don't have that type of love for me, then I shouldn't be in that type of relationship.

988
00:58:17,180 --> 00:58:22,440
So I'd encourage someone to safely get out of that relationship.

989
00:58:22,440 --> 00:58:30,480
And then for others that are struggling, if you are in Christ, you have the power to overcome.

990
00:58:30,480 --> 00:58:35,600
All you do is, the scripture tells us that anyone that calls upon the name of the Lord

991
00:58:35,600 --> 00:58:36,840
shall be saved.

992
00:58:36,840 --> 00:58:38,720
That's not just salvation.

993
00:58:38,720 --> 00:58:43,520
That's whatever issue, whatever situation that you are going through, you call upon

994
00:58:43,520 --> 00:58:44,840
the name of the Lord.

995
00:58:44,840 --> 00:58:49,080
In the times of distress and trouble, the Lord will hear your cry and answer.

996
00:58:49,080 --> 00:58:54,620
And so I would encourage anyone that's still struggling with that, surrender to the Lord,

997
00:58:54,620 --> 00:58:55,620
give it all to Him.

998
00:58:55,620 --> 00:58:58,800
I gave all my junk, all my issues.

999
00:58:58,800 --> 00:59:03,560
It's like I did a literal just throwing it up in the air, throwing my hands and say,

1000
00:59:03,560 --> 00:59:04,880
Lord, you take all this stuff.

1001
00:59:04,880 --> 00:59:05,880
I don't want it.

1002
00:59:05,880 --> 00:59:06,880
It's too heavy.

1003
00:59:06,880 --> 00:59:10,240
I'm not even supposed to be carrying it, but you can carry it.

1004
00:59:10,240 --> 00:59:11,240
He can take it.

1005
00:59:11,240 --> 00:59:15,240
He can handle all the weight, but we weren't built to handle all that weight.

1006
00:59:15,240 --> 00:59:19,840
And so surrender to the Lord and cry out to Him and say, Lord, I need you.

1007
00:59:19,840 --> 00:59:21,240
I need you to help.

1008
00:59:21,240 --> 00:59:22,760
I need you to lead me.

1009
00:59:22,760 --> 00:59:29,080
I need you to intervene in a situation and then step back and allow God to do that.

1010
00:59:29,080 --> 00:59:32,760
Many times we want to get in the way of what the Lord is trying to do.

1011
00:59:32,760 --> 00:59:34,160
His ways are not our ways.

1012
00:59:34,160 --> 00:59:37,760
And trust me, He does things really differently than the way that I would have done them.

1013
00:59:37,760 --> 00:59:38,760
His ways are not our ways.

1014
00:59:38,760 --> 00:59:39,760
His thoughts are not our thoughts.

1015
00:59:39,760 --> 00:59:42,640
It's so much higher than what we do.

1016
00:59:42,640 --> 00:59:46,960
But allow God to be God and allow you to be you.

1017
00:59:46,960 --> 00:59:48,520
You depend and lean on God.

1018
00:59:48,520 --> 00:59:53,680
And it says that all things will work out together in the end and for our good, not

1019
00:59:53,680 --> 00:59:57,840
for our bad, not to hurt us, not to harm us, but for our good.

1020
00:59:57,840 --> 01:00:01,960
And so you trust that God is going to work it out when you call upon His name for Him

1021
01:00:01,960 --> 01:00:03,880
to deliver you from it.

1022
01:00:03,880 --> 01:00:08,960
As we wrap it up, I like to ask all my guests if there's a woman in the Bible whose story

1023
01:00:08,960 --> 01:00:14,800
has inspired or encouraged or taught you something and how does her story relate to your story?

1024
01:00:14,800 --> 01:00:17,260
I call her the unlikely one.

1025
01:00:17,260 --> 01:00:18,520
That is Rahab.

1026
01:00:18,520 --> 01:00:20,640
I can relate to Rahab.

1027
01:00:20,640 --> 01:00:23,360
She was a prostitute.

1028
01:00:23,360 --> 01:00:26,640
She was not of the Jewish heritage.

1029
01:00:26,640 --> 01:00:31,280
She sold out her nation so her and her family could be saved.

1030
01:00:31,280 --> 01:00:33,460
I mean, she was just the underdog.

1031
01:00:33,460 --> 01:00:38,480
She is not one that you would expect that would be in the lineage of Jesus Christ.

1032
01:00:38,480 --> 01:00:42,040
You just would not expect that.

1033
01:00:42,040 --> 01:00:48,600
But I'm like, if the Lord can use a prostitute for His glory to be part of the salvation

1034
01:00:48,600 --> 01:00:52,680
plan of the world, God can use me too.

1035
01:00:52,680 --> 01:00:55,720
And so there's not enough sins that I have done.

1036
01:00:55,720 --> 01:01:01,320
There's not enough bad things that I have done that the Lord still wouldn't use me and

1037
01:01:01,320 --> 01:01:03,160
still wouldn't choose me.

1038
01:01:03,160 --> 01:01:04,760
So that's why I chose Rahab.

1039
01:01:04,760 --> 01:01:10,000
If you would have put her in a line of all the people to choose, all the ladies to choose

1040
01:01:10,000 --> 01:01:15,560
to be in the lineage of Jesus and you knew their backstory, Rahab wouldn't have been

1041
01:01:15,560 --> 01:01:16,560
selected.

1042
01:01:16,560 --> 01:01:19,200
And that's how I feel about myself.

1043
01:01:19,200 --> 01:01:24,480
If you put me in a line of other people and it's like, no, it's kind of like when you're

1044
01:01:24,480 --> 01:01:28,840
kids and they're picking which team you're going to be on and you're the last person,

1045
01:01:28,840 --> 01:01:29,840
that would be me.

1046
01:01:29,840 --> 01:01:32,280
The last person hadn't been picked.

1047
01:01:32,280 --> 01:01:38,280
And I can relate to that and that God was still able to use her despite who she was

1048
01:01:38,280 --> 01:01:41,000
or what her past was, what she's done in her life.

1049
01:01:41,000 --> 01:01:43,040
The God says, I can use anybody.

1050
01:01:43,040 --> 01:01:45,200
I can transform anybody.

1051
01:01:45,200 --> 01:01:48,240
And I can relate to that because God has transformed me.

1052
01:01:48,240 --> 01:01:51,840
I'm not the person who I used to be.

1053
01:01:51,840 --> 01:01:54,400
And I'm not the person that I was two years ago.

1054
01:01:54,400 --> 01:01:59,200
God is continuing to transform me into the person that he wants me to be.

1055
01:01:59,200 --> 01:02:06,040
And so he can use Rahab, he can use Stephanie, and he can use each and every one of us for

1056
01:02:06,040 --> 01:02:07,040
his glory.

1057
01:02:07,040 --> 01:02:08,040
Amen.

1058
01:02:08,040 --> 01:02:14,240
And here in my 31 13B, it says, I will turn their mourning into gladness.

1059
01:02:14,240 --> 01:02:17,760
I will give their comfort and joy instead of sorrow.

1060
01:02:17,760 --> 01:02:23,600
And just talking to you, I can just hear the joy that God has put in your life and taken

1061
01:02:23,600 --> 01:02:26,520
away the sorrow of so many years.

1062
01:02:26,520 --> 01:02:30,840
And dear listener, if you are in a place of mourning or sorrow, God is willing to give

1063
01:02:30,840 --> 01:02:33,800
you comfort and he's willing to give you joy.

1064
01:02:33,800 --> 01:02:38,480
Because Stephanie shared faith in Jesus Christ and forgiveness, their keys to healing.

1065
01:02:38,480 --> 01:02:43,720
Joshua 24 15 is the scripture the Lord spoke to Stephanie, choose you this day who you

1066
01:02:43,720 --> 01:02:45,320
will serve.

1067
01:02:45,320 --> 01:02:47,760
And he's saying the same thing to you.

1068
01:02:47,760 --> 01:02:50,240
Choose you this day who you will serve.

1069
01:02:50,240 --> 01:02:53,600
Stephanie is going to lead us in prayer in a minute, but we would also be honored to

1070
01:02:53,600 --> 01:02:57,400
pray with you and help you with that choice.

1071
01:02:57,400 --> 01:03:05,440
You can call or you can text the somebody cares 24 seven prayer line at 855-459 care,

1072
01:03:05,440 --> 01:03:10,740
or you can email us at prayer at somebody cares.org show notes with a link to Stephanie's

1073
01:03:10,740 --> 01:03:15,920
books and the scriptures we talked about today can be found at her God story.org her God

1074
01:03:15,920 --> 01:03:17,120
story.org.

1075
01:03:17,120 --> 01:03:19,900
There's also a way that you can sign up for updates.

1076
01:03:19,900 --> 01:03:23,840
You can hear it, learn about some of our guests, you can get information.

1077
01:03:23,840 --> 01:03:26,880
So be sure to sign up for a mailing list.

1078
01:03:26,880 --> 01:03:31,720
And if you would like to take a moment to rate the show on Apple or Spotify, that would

1079
01:03:31,720 --> 01:03:34,120
be a great thing.

1080
01:03:34,120 --> 01:03:38,140
We'd love for you to follow or subscribe wherever you listen and share the story with friends

1081
01:03:38,140 --> 01:03:39,920
who might enjoy hearing it too.

1082
01:03:39,920 --> 01:03:44,400
So as we close, Stephanie, would you pray for everyone who listens to your amazing God

1083
01:03:44,400 --> 01:03:45,400
story?

1084
01:03:45,400 --> 01:03:49,320
Father God in the name of Jesus, we bless you God and give you glory.

1085
01:03:49,320 --> 01:03:54,840
Lord, I thank you God for every person that has listened to this conversation between

1086
01:03:54,840 --> 01:03:57,880
Jody and I, and I pray God that it will bless them.

1087
01:03:57,880 --> 01:04:03,000
Lord, I pray God for those who are struggling to forgive people, God, that they would just

1088
01:04:03,000 --> 01:04:06,360
say, Lord, I'm willing to forgive.

1089
01:04:06,360 --> 01:04:11,880
They were proud to you to help them to forgive those who have hurt, harmed or offended them,

1090
01:04:11,880 --> 01:04:13,560
Lord, in the name of Jesus.

1091
01:04:13,560 --> 01:04:17,960
I pray God for those who are who are dealing with abuse, God, I pray Lord that you would

1092
01:04:17,960 --> 01:04:21,840
lead them and guide them in the right way, God, that they would know God that they are

1093
01:04:21,840 --> 01:04:27,240
worthy of love, that they have been accepted by you, that you would never reject them,

1094
01:04:27,240 --> 01:04:31,600
you would never leave them nor forsake them, God, and that you always have a plan and it's

1095
01:04:31,600 --> 01:04:34,080
a plan to prosper and never to harm.

1096
01:04:34,080 --> 01:04:39,120
So I pray, Lord, that you would give them a way out, open the door, show them the way

1097
01:04:39,120 --> 01:04:40,240
in which they should go.

1098
01:04:40,240 --> 01:04:45,240
And I also pray, Lord, even for those that are the abusers, Lord, that they would know

1099
01:04:45,240 --> 01:04:50,480
you, God, that they would confess and repent of all of their sins and follow Jesus, God,

1100
01:04:50,480 --> 01:04:51,880
for the rest of their days, God.

1101
01:04:51,880 --> 01:04:57,200
I pray, God, for anyone that is struggling, anyone that is dealing with anything, you

1102
01:04:57,200 --> 01:05:00,080
know their hearts, God, you know what is needed.

1103
01:05:00,080 --> 01:05:01,840
You are perfect in all of your ways.

1104
01:05:01,840 --> 01:05:06,000
And I pray, Lord, that you would meet them right where they are, God, they would know

1105
01:05:06,000 --> 01:05:10,400
that you are there, that you are with them, that you would make your presence tangible,

1106
01:05:10,400 --> 01:05:14,360
that they would know God, that you are real, that you are watching, that your eyes are

1107
01:05:14,360 --> 01:05:15,840
always upon them.

1108
01:05:15,840 --> 01:05:20,640
And more importantly, God, that you love them more than anyone else in the entire universe

1109
01:05:20,640 --> 01:05:26,640
and that you always mean well and that you are always working for them and never against

1110
01:05:26,640 --> 01:05:27,640
them.

1111
01:05:27,640 --> 01:05:28,640
We bless them.

1112
01:05:28,640 --> 01:05:29,640
I bless Jodie.

1113
01:05:29,640 --> 01:05:30,640
Bless somebody cares, God.

1114
01:05:30,640 --> 01:05:32,320
I thank you, God, for what they're doing.

1115
01:05:32,320 --> 01:05:35,880
And I pray, God, that they continue to prosper in their labor for you.

1116
01:05:35,880 --> 01:05:37,960
In Jesus' name, amen.

1117
01:05:37,960 --> 01:05:43,760
Now may God bless you and keep you and may His face shine upon you and may He give you

1118
01:05:43,760 --> 01:05:44,760
peace.

1119
01:05:44,760 --> 01:05:47,680
Tune in again soon to another episode of Her God Story.

1120
01:05:47,680 --> 01:05:48,680
Bye bye.

1121
01:05:48,680 --> 01:05:52,800
Her God Story is a ministry of Somebody Cares America and international.

1122
01:05:52,800 --> 01:06:21,920
To find out more about or support the ministry, go to somebodycares.org.