God Gets The Final Word, Lynn Beattie’s Story

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Hey friends, welcome to the Her God Story podcast where you will always hear a good

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story to build your faith and equip you in your walk with the Lord.

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I'm your host Jodie Chiricosta, ministry leader at Somebody Cares America and International,

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author and traveler on this journey of faith.

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Psalm 23 is a very familiar passage to many of us.

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The New Living translation reads, The Lord is my shepherd, I have all that I need.

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He lets me rest in green meadows, He leads me beside peaceful streams.

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He renews my strength, He guides me along right paths, bringing honor to His name.

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Even though I walk through the darkest valley, I will not be afraid, for You are close beside

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me.

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Your rod and Your staff protect and comfort me.

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You prepare a feast for me in the presence of my enemies.

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You honor me by anointing my head with oil.

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My cup overflows with blessings.

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Surely Your goodness and unfailing love will pursue me all the days of my life, and I will

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live in the house of the Lord forever.

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When I think of Lynne Beatty's life, I'm reminded of this Psalm.

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Like many of us, the various verses can describe different seasons in our life, but from the

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beginning when Lynne committed her life fully to Christ, following her shepherd has never

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been in question.

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I first met Lynne when my husband Ron and I were dating.

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For a time she had sacrificially served him and the children after the death of Ron's

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first wife, and she was considered family, so meeting her was a big deal.

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I could see Jesus in her right away and was so grateful for the love and joy she had shown

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Ron and the kids through a very dark time in their lives.

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Now widowed, Lynne was married to her husband Rick for 41 years and she has five adult children.

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Welcome Lynne.

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Thank you, Jodie.

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It's good to be with you.

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So Lynne, tell us just a little about your background and how and where you were raised.

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I am a complete Jersey girl.

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I was born in New Jersey, raised in New Jersey.

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I've never lived anywhere else.

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So for some people that will give them an idea of growing up in New Jersey.

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I also grew up in a middle class family.

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As far as church went, my father made sure that we were in church on Sunday, that we

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were a part of Sunday school.

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You grew up in the church and did you at that point embrace Jesus and all that he had in

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your life or was there a little bit of a struggle?

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There was a big struggle.

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I accepted the Lord as I guess I would think as my savior when I was 12 responding to altar

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call at church.

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We grew up in a Baptist church so hearing the gospel was a regular thing and having

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the opportunity to respond was also a regular thing.

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So when I was 12 that was what I did.

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I knew the truth about God and who he was and who Jesus was.

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But at the time being 12 and through my growing up years I also was pretty independent and

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I remember even saying to the Lord for 10 years, I know that you want to be Lord of

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my life and I am not ready.

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So I spent those years kind of doing my own thing, being a little bit rebellious.

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What brought you to that place where you were ready for Jesus to be all to you?

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After I think I was about 22 I had already been married.

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I had already been divorced.

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I had a child that I was raising and then when Rick and I began dating and we were dating

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for a while we also had a child.

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At that time we had no plans to get married.

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I wasn't sure how I would do raising two children.

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Probably wasn't very confident in the one I was raising and so I placed that child for

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adoption and I think after that at that time I realized you know what Lynn you are not

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doing this well.

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You are making many mistakes and so then I kind of started turning my face back towards

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the Lord.

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I started putting on some Christian music, opening my Bible and just really realizing

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that I did not want to continue down the path I was on.

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So Christian music actually played a part in your recommitment to the Lord.

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You heard some music at a nearby church that initially drew your interest and how did that

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relate to your really coming back to Christ?

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Well after Rick and I were married, we actually lived across the street from the church that

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we were married in and on one Saturday my girlfriend and I were out doing some things.

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Rick was fishing with a friend and as we were coming down the street on the way back we

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saw a couple of guys playing guitar on the lawn of the church and so we thought okay

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that's interesting.

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So we parked the car and we headed over there and we spent the afternoon listening to their

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music and then in the evening they did a concert at the church and so we attended that concert.

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And that really began to solidify for me what I needed to do and where I needed to place

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my life.

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So as soon as you really recommitted your life to the Lord you jumped right in and started

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volunteering at the church, being involved in youth ministry and you started seeing God

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move in your life.

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I love the story of how God worked in your lives, your life and Rick's really at creation

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fest.

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Will you share that?

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Rick made a commitment to the Lord about two months after me.

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Those same guys had come back to our church and had done another concert and the thing

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that really impressed me with my husband was when I told him originally about us being

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at the church and hearing those guys play he immediately picked up the Bible and started

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reading it.

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Soon after he committed his life to the Lord and we began serving in the church.

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We worked with the youth group, taught Sunday school and so creation festival came and we

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were taking a group of young adults to creation.

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We also were moving into our house that same weekend which all happened very quickly and

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so we decided that my girlfriend and I would take the young adults and head to creation

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and my husband would spend the week just moving everything into the house and then he would

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join us at creation.

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Well we got to creation early because we were serving and helping to set up.

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When we arrived at creation my van as soon as I parked it would not start again and so

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we were camping, we camped there.

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On Friday night I was in the volunteer trailer and my husband called and said that he was

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not going to be coming to creation because there was just way too much work to do.

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So I walked out of the trailer crying and bummed that he wasn't coming and our friends

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came up to me and said Lynn Rick has to come, your van won't start.

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I thought oh you're right so I went back in and called him and said you know what you

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have to come, my van won't start.

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And so he did end up coming before Guy got there about two in the morning and the next

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day Saturday morning as creation festival was opening for the day the founder of creation

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festivals was singing a song called Jesus pray for me.

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He had his acoustic guitar.

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I was standing right near the fence of the arena area and we were camping very close

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to that area and as I was standing there I was praying and I said Lord would you make

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a way for Rick.

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I really just wanted him to be a part of this festival and to hear what's going on here

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and we are probably a half an hour from a auto parts store and it could take him all

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day to fix his van.

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And so as I was praying that Rick walked up to me and he had a part in his hand and it

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was called a valentine's sister.

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He hadn't done anything he just pulled this part out of the car.

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As he walked over to me a guy walked up to us and I would say that it was an angel.

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He walked up to us he looked at Rick's hand and he said do you need that part?

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And Rick responded well this is what I'm going to start with and the guy said to him come

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with me I have two in my car.

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The part was called a ballast resistor I had never even heard of it.

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So Rick went with him and he said he got to the guy's car and the guy opened his glove

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compartment and he had two ballast resistors in his glove compartment and he handed one

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to Rick.

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Rick came back he put the ballast resistor in my van and my van started.

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Wow that's a quick answer to prayer.

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We were pretty convinced that that was an angel that God sent our way.

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We never saw that guy again.

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We never saw his car again.

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And so also at that time I was thinking about being baptized.

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I was baptized that day.

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And it made a rather large impression on both of us.

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I'll say that is a great story.

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That is an angelic visitation just at that time.

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So after that through the years you were tuned in to what the Lord was saying to you and

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God started changing you in many ways and transforming you like he does to all of us

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to be more like him.

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As you went to him about different issues he spoke to you.

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Can you tell us about some of those things some of those times?

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One of them I'll share.

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I was a mom at the time had children you know in the house and I am kind of sad to say but

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I was a screamer.

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I yelled at my kids often and they all had their ways that they would react to that.

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And one afternoon I had yelled at my children and I was at the top of the step and I remember

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saying to the Holy Spirit Lord why do I act like this?

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Why do I scream at my children like this?

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And the Holy Spirit just clearly said to me because you feel like your life is out of

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control and when you yell everybody jumps.

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It just really broke me.

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I just said Lord forgive me.

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Forgive me.

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And so I would love to say I never yelled at my kids again but God began a process in

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me that he began to deal with some of the issues that caused me to feel out of control

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and he began to heal those places so that I could be a changed mom.

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So that was one.

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Yeah I remember my yeah I remember when growing up my mom she's a wonderful lovely godly woman

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but when she first got saved she had an anger issue and we could tell coming home from school

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if she was mad before we ever saw her we could just feel it in the air when we walked in

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the door and we would run up to our room because we didn't want to be you know we didn't want

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to be the yes have that anger pointed at us.

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But she also went to the Lord and got delivered overnight.

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Yeah just you know I mean it was a complete change.

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The Lord does those things when we have those issues we can just go to God.

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I mean he's the one who changes it in the first place.

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We don't need to be afraid or ashamed to say Lord help.

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Yes yes yes.

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Another time early on in my relationship with Rick he grew up in a home with a very strong

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mom.

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I grew up in a home with a very strong dad and so so during our relationship I was pretty

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much in charge of the relationship and in charge of our home.

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He was avoid conflict at every turn and I took advantage of that.

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One day I was in my kitchen and I was saying to the Lord Lord this isn't right.

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Can you can you show me what's going on in me.

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And the Holy Spirit showed me a picture of me standing in my mother's kitchen and making

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a vow to myself that said no man will ever rule over me.

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And again I just went with that and working with the Lord knew that I had to repent of

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that that I had to renounce that and then I had to break that oath by the power of the

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Holy Spirit break that oath over my life.

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And so God began a process years later.

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I remember a girlfriend saying to me Lynn when you guys used to walk into the house

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we would say here comes Lynn and Rick and now we say here comes Rick and Lynn.

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God is so good.

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The Lord balanced it out.

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So good.

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Yes.

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He showed us.

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He taught me.

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You know many times we are praying God change my husband change my husband and I used to

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get mad at him because he because he'd always say no this is you.

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Well I'm working with you.

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God brought me to a place of understanding what our relationship needs to needed to look

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like and the covering that my husband was for me and how to walk in relationship with

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him.

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That's not a message a lot of women like to hear these days.

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You know we're taught we're all I mean the media tells us you know how we need to be

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our own person separate.

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But when we get married the two become one and it's a mystery and it's a divine miracle.

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But that's what happens and God has a divine order that if we will walk in it.

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Yes.

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Things go so much better.

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Yes.

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Yes.

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And I remember saying to my husband you know I need you to say no to me because I can be

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all over the place.

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God has given you to me as a gift that in our relationship that you would also be some

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protection for me.

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So I need you to say no Lynn we're not doing that.

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And as my husband began to grow in that you know we were able to grow in our marriage

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and grow in our family.

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Yeah.

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And serving the Lord really as part of the church and in other ways has always been an

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integral part of your faith.

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So you know what are some of the ways the Lord has led you to serve throughout the years.

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I've served in a myriad of ways.

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We started out with youth when we first got saved and serving in Sunday school and then

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in we've really only been a part of two major churches in our married life that each of

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those 20 years and I served in children's ministry.

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I was responsible for the children's ministry in our first church and then actually in the

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church that we are in now I was on staff for some years and served also in children's ministry.

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I've had some opportunities with women.

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Women I think are a heart thing for me.

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Desiring to see women get unstuck and allow God to do some things in their lives and grow

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in their relationship with the Lord.

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So I've had opportunity even now I serve with a ministry called Women of the Word.

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We mostly are a women's conference ministry and so we come into an area where we've been

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invited.

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We basically bring a conference for women and my role there prior to covid we would

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meet in hotels.

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My role there was to manage the ballroom whatever was going on in the ballroom.

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And now I also am leading a Bible study in my home.

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We started they started a area for women of book clubs.

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I have the opportunity to lead a book club.

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Our book club happens to be a Bible study that we're doing.

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I feel like the main two areas of ministry for me is that I'm a good armor bearer.

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So I'm a good second person.

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I'm not necessarily the one with the vision.

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I'm able to come alongside and help that to see that vision happen.

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And also I really feel like the Lord has gifted me with encouragement and hospitality.

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And so I would say that that is my one of my main joys is being able to come alongside

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of others and encourage them and their relationship with the Lord and whether I do that through

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cooking meals for people, driving someone somewhere, you know, just being able to hear

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about a need and have a desire to come alongside and to help and be Jesus with skin on as people

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need it.

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In response to James one twenty seven, somebody cares created the widows and orphan fund as

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a company of women.

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We can do so much together to take care of the special needs and cultivate the special

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gifts of children.

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He has put in the care of our ministry partners around the world, as well as widows who serve

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the Lord faithfully in ministry and are now in need.

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I invite you to join our number with a gift at her God story dot org by clicking on the

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widows and orphan tab.

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Thank you so much for caring.

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It happens at such a deep heart level when you do those kinds of service and when you're

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meeting in small groups.

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It's so many of us think, gosh, I need to, you know, to really serve the Lord.

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I've got to lead a ministry or I've got it.

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But that's not that's not what he calls us to.

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We're a body and all of us have different parts and different roles and serving and

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in discipling and and being there.

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Jesus with skin on really is where a lot of the ministry, the deep level ministry happens

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in my younger years of serving in ministry.

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I didn't really have any boundaries.

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And there was a lot of me that was having needs met as I met the needs of others.

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And so I think that's something that we have to think about in ministry.

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You know, we can be out there helping and serving, but we also need to be responsible

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for our lives.

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And I remember getting to a point where God showed me that a lot of the ministry that

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I was involved in was really about Lynn.

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It was really about fulfilling a need in me, a need for approval, a need for acceptance.

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And when God showed me that it was a very hard thing to deal with, you know, and I thought,

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Lord, has all of the ministry and lives that I've been involved with, has it been for naught?

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And God said, no, it was still ministry.

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But now I'm bringing you to a place that I'm going to separate the holy from the profane.

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And he brought me through a process of dealing with the issues in my life and healing me

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and restoring me and redeeming me that from that point, that ministry could be pure, more

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pure and not be about me.

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And so that was really a big changing point in my life.

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And I think that happens with us that we sometimes are involved in ministry, but it's really

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about us and the needs that we have.

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And so allowing God the opportunity to heal us and to redeem us and to bring us to a place

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that ministry can really be about him and can really be about the needs of the people

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that we're serving.

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Yeah, that is such a good point.

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I'm glad you brought that up.

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I know in my younger years, I would say yes to everything.

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I wanted to just do everything for the Lord and it was me doing things for the Lord.

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And I remember waking up one day and realizing, I love all the things that I'm doing, but

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I really hate my life.

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And that was a way for me.

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The Lord was saying, hey, I didn't call you to all of this.

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You took it on yourself.

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Yeah, over the years, I've had to look back and say, Lord, what was wood hand stubble

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and what was the things that will come through the refiner's fire?

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Those are the things I want to be about.

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And yeah, I've had similar ponderings and conversations with the Lord.

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Life was humming along pretty nicely for you when in 2016, you received some real shocking

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news.

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Rick had a rare form of aggressive cancer.

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Not what you wanted to hear, not what anyone wants to hear, but how did you react or respond

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and what did you hear God saying in the midst of it?

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I do remember, of course, you know, it did kind of come out of nowhere for us in a very

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short time.

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We were on a very different road.

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I remember at the beginning, laying in bed, going up to my well, I said to my husband,

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I went take my Bible and go upstairs.

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I just need time with God.

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But I'm more like gotten my bed and pulled the covers over my head and just was really

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struggling.

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And then I began to feel I physically felt faith arising.

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I could feel it in my belly.

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I laid there for a few minutes.

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I started talking with the Lord.

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And the next thing I knew, I was on my feet.

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And I remember texting my kids and saying, Mom might have been crying and it's OK to

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cry.

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But I am up.

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And that always seems to me for me is that when I go through that, it is like faith has

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risen up and I am ready to fight.

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The scripture that the Lord gave us at that very time was from James one that says, consider

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it nothing but joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you fall into various trials, be

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assured that the testing of your faith produces endurance leading to spiritual maturity and

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inner peace.

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Let endurance have its perfect result and do a thorough work so that you may be mature

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and completely developed in your faith, lacking in nothing.

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God gave us the scripture.

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And I remember encountering people that would say to us, we need to pray.

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We need God to give you a miracle right now.

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Rick needs to be healed right now.

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And though we did stand in faith believing for healing, my response was, I don't think

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that's what God's saying.

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It appears to me that we're going through.

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I don't know what the injuries are going to look like.

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You know, we are.

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And so Rick and I made some decisions.

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And some of those decisions at that point that we made was that we were going to stand

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in faith, believe in God for healing.

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We believe that God heals, that he heals today, that he heals suddenly, that he heals over

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time, that he uses doctors.

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We believe all of those things.

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God is our healer.

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And so we decided that we were going to stand in faith and we were going to trust God.

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And then on the other side of that, that we were going to get our affairs in order.

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For instance, we were going to get a will and get our finances in order.

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And so we began to do both of those things.

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And I know that there are times that people struggle with that because they feel like

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if you are doing those things, putting your finances in order, getting a will that you're

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not standing in faith.

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And I would say, no, no, we are standing.

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We are trusting God.

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But God gets the final word.

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God knows the end result.

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And so regardless of what that end result is, we want to honor God.

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So those were a couple of other decisions that we made.

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We were not going to become cancer, that we were going to live our lives and we were going

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to do what we had to do to deal with the cancer.

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And so that's what we did as Rick went through multiple, I think he had eight different kinds

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of chemo.

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If we got to the doctors and the doctor said, I'll see you in two weeks, we would pack the

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car and go on a road trip.

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And we had many, we were caregivers for Rick's parents at the time and going the winter months

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there in Florida.

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So we would pack the car and head to Florida for a few days to check in with his parents.

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One time we had the car packed when we went to see the doctor.

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A little bit funny, the nurse says to the doctor, when they get done here, they are

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going on vacation.

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And the doctor said, no, they aren't.

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And we were like, oh, well, we had our car packed.

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And I said to Rick, you know, he probably thinks we're getting on a plane and going

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to an island or something, which is not what we were doing.

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We did get in the car and met our friends at a campsite in Acadia, Maine.

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And I remember saying to Rick, nothing can happen to you here.

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We are very nine hours from the hospital.

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But during that time, it was a year after my husband had had lung surgery because there

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were cancer in his lungs and he was dealing with some of that, that he climbed the precipice

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at Acadia National Park.

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That was kind of our mode.

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That cancer was not going to dictate our life.

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That we were going to walk with the Lord, we were going to serve him, and we were going

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to live our lives.

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So that was a four and a half year journey.

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And what are some of the ways God showed you his faithfulness during that time?

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God provided us with a wonderful support group between our children, friends that we have

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had long relationships with, our church.

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There were times that, you know, you hear about checks in the mail that we would get

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checks in the mail.

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We'd go to our mailbox and there would be the one time a couple thousand dollars in

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cash in our mailbox.

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Another way was when my husband was in the hospital and during some of his chemo experience,

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he would be in the hospital for five days.

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And if Rick was in the hospital, I was in the hospital.

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And so we would be, you know, staying in the hospital for five days.

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And then when it would come time, which is very draining, emotionally draining, physically

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draining.

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And when it came time to come home, I would say to him, OK, I'm going to take you home

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and then I'm going to go to the grocery store.

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And before we could get to the car, I can't tell you how many times I would get a text

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saying, Lynn, I'm on my way to the grocery store.

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Give me a list.

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I would be overwhelmed, thankful because I was exhausted.

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I was emotionally drained.

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And so having people come alongside of us in that way, my son, our youngest son, got

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married two weeks after Rick's initial surgery to remove the tumor from his leg.

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And he was getting married in Erie, Pennsylvania, which is six hours from us.

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And so as we were walking through that, I had friends that went shopping, bought the

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clothes that Rick was going to wear to the wedding, ordered 15 pairs of shoes.

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I already had my dress, but I didn't have any shoes, ordered 15 pair of shoes and had

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them sent to my house so I could choose what to wear.

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I had promised my daughter-in-law since I couldn't really be involved in their wedding

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preparations because I was so far away.

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Prior to knowing about Rick's diagnosis, which was in April, they got married in July, I

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said to her, listen, it's strawberry season in New Jersey in June.

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So how about if I make the party favors that you're going to give out for your wedding?

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And Rick and I will make and can strawberry jam for every person.

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So I ordered 150 jars from Amazon.

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Rick and I were able to make a couple of batches, but then we were not able.

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And so I remember calling a girlfriend and asking her if she would be willing to make

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some batches of strawberry jam.

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And she said, yes, she would.

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And so another girlfriend came to pick up the things to deliver to her and said to me,

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Lynn, just put all of that in the car.

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Put it all in my car.

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And I said, I did not ask her to make all of the jam.

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It's okay, Lynn, just put it in my car.

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So she took everything to our friend Robin.

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And Robin told me that she got up at 430 in the morning to start making jam before it

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got hot out.

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And it never really got that hot.

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So she continued to work till 530 at night and made all of the jam.

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I mean, we would just continually we would be getting bed at night and be in tears overwhelmed

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by the faithfulness of God and by the ministry of others.

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My husband for three months was on hospice before he went to glory.

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Starting two months prior to that, we live in a very old house.

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We hear that it was built in 1867.

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Rick had done a lot of work to restore it.

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Prior to his diagnosis, he had torn apart the kitchen and put in cabinets and was working

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on the kitchen when he got diagnosed.

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Starting at that time in June, from June till a little after Rick passed on to glory, our

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house was in had a total makeover.

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There was aluminum siding put on our house, new roof put on our house, a patio added to

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us house.

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Our kids came over in June on Father's Day, kids and some friends and some brothers, and

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they completely emptied our attic, our basement and our garage, which would be a feat.

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My husband was in construction and he was a mechanic.

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And so there was never anything that you might not have to use someday.

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And so it was in our garage.

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Over the course of the week, we filled two 20 yard dumpsters.

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We lived in our house for 40 years.

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The kids emptied our attic onto tarps.

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They took the things that they wanted.

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And I remember saying to Rick, wow, some of our kids have been married 15, 16 years and

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they're actually moving out today.

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And so and I will tell you that if it wasn't for that happening, I would not have been

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able to stay here through the winter after Rick passed because the furnace needed to

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be replaced.

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Rick would fix our furnace several times during the winter.

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I knew how to turn it on.

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I did not have the ability to fix it.

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And so we had new furnace put in.

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Our home was switched from oil to gas.

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We have rooms in our home that were completely redone.

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It was just amazing.

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I can't even tell you the value of what people, what our family and our kids and our friends

463
00:34:10,720 --> 00:34:14,320
invested in us during those days.

464
00:34:14,320 --> 00:34:21,400
So when all of this horror, horror hardship is going on, the love of God was really just

465
00:34:21,400 --> 00:34:23,680
surrounding you and carrying you along.

466
00:34:23,680 --> 00:34:24,680
Yes.

467
00:34:24,680 --> 00:34:28,120
As a matter of fact, I read a scripture last week.

468
00:34:28,120 --> 00:34:35,200
Isaiah 54, 10 says, for the mountains may depart and the hills be removed, but my steadfast

469
00:34:35,200 --> 00:34:41,760
love shall not depart from you and my covenant of peace shall not be removed, says the Lord

470
00:34:41,760 --> 00:34:44,080
who has compassion on you.

471
00:34:44,080 --> 00:34:52,720
And I read that scripture and the Lord just brought it to my attention and reminded me

472
00:34:52,720 --> 00:35:00,160
that during that four and a half year journey of dealing with cancer, that we lived smack

473
00:35:00,160 --> 00:35:07,120
in the middle of that scripture, that we were surrounded by God's steadfast love.

474
00:35:07,120 --> 00:35:11,960
We walked those four and a half years in his covenant of peace.

475
00:35:11,960 --> 00:35:18,880
You know, when the scripture says a peace that surpasses understanding, yes, we walked

476
00:35:18,880 --> 00:35:22,680
in that peace that surpasses understanding.

477
00:35:22,680 --> 00:35:23,680
Yeah.

478
00:35:23,680 --> 00:35:24,680
And it does.

479
00:35:24,680 --> 00:35:25,680
I mean, that's not a piece the world can give you.

480
00:35:25,680 --> 00:35:28,120
It only can come from the Lord.

481
00:35:28,120 --> 00:35:33,400
So Lynn, you've told me that the two years since Rick passed have really been the hardest

482
00:35:33,400 --> 00:35:35,840
you've ever walked through.

483
00:35:35,840 --> 00:35:39,960
Share a little about your grieving process and what you learned through it all and how

484
00:35:39,960 --> 00:35:42,520
God is even using it now.

485
00:35:42,520 --> 00:35:49,680
I think some of the same things that we learn in life is that life is about choices, grieving.

486
00:35:49,680 --> 00:35:53,200
It's a tough one.

487
00:35:53,200 --> 00:36:00,040
I remember one time I was driving to my son's to celebrate his daughter's birthday and I

488
00:36:00,040 --> 00:36:01,040
was crying.

489
00:36:01,040 --> 00:36:06,720
And actually, you know, they tell you not to make any major decisions in the first year.

490
00:36:06,720 --> 00:36:12,000
Well, about six months in, I decided that I would get myself a puppy.

491
00:36:12,000 --> 00:36:15,040
And so I got a golden retriever puppy.

492
00:36:15,040 --> 00:36:17,760
You know, that's like having a baby.

493
00:36:17,760 --> 00:36:23,680
And it was probably my also my worst two months of grieving.

494
00:36:23,680 --> 00:36:27,320
It was just a very difficult time.

495
00:36:27,320 --> 00:36:32,560
And I realized later it was in the scope of that journey.

496
00:36:32,560 --> 00:36:36,480
It was the months that Rick was diagnosed.

497
00:36:36,480 --> 00:36:47,480
It was the month that March prior to his passing was the month that his that covid, you know,

498
00:36:47,480 --> 00:36:49,160
it showed up.

499
00:36:49,160 --> 00:36:52,520
My husband's health went downhill very quickly.

500
00:36:52,520 --> 00:36:55,400
We did not know what was wrong with him.

501
00:36:55,400 --> 00:36:59,280
We realized later it was the cancer taking over his body.

502
00:36:59,280 --> 00:37:05,600
So though I wasn't thinking about those things, they were affecting me.

503
00:37:05,600 --> 00:37:10,040
And so having a puppy in the house was very difficult.

504
00:37:10,040 --> 00:37:13,320
I remember calling my kids and saying, I made a mistake.

505
00:37:13,320 --> 00:37:14,760
I can't do this.

506
00:37:14,760 --> 00:37:16,200
I don't know what to do.

507
00:37:16,200 --> 00:37:19,880
By five o'clock every night, I'm crying.

508
00:37:19,880 --> 00:37:23,720
And they just kept saying, Mom, just hang in there, hang in there.

509
00:37:23,720 --> 00:37:25,200
It's going to be OK.

510
00:37:25,200 --> 00:37:27,680
And you're going to be thankful that you have her.

511
00:37:27,680 --> 00:37:32,660
And so with grief, you just you cannot plan it.

512
00:37:32,660 --> 00:37:39,480
You cannot have a little road map of how you're going to grieve because grief just comes upon

513
00:37:39,480 --> 00:37:40,760
you.

514
00:37:40,760 --> 00:37:46,400
And I remember having the puppy and driving up to my son's to celebrate his daughter's

515
00:37:46,400 --> 00:37:48,560
birthday and crying.

516
00:37:48,560 --> 00:37:50,920
It's a two hour drive to his house.

517
00:37:50,920 --> 00:37:53,160
I drove for about 40 minutes.

518
00:37:53,160 --> 00:37:55,200
The puppy is whining in the car.

519
00:37:55,200 --> 00:37:58,120
I am crying.

520
00:37:58,120 --> 00:38:01,620
And I just had to call my son and say, I can't do it.

521
00:38:01,620 --> 00:38:02,620
I can't do it.

522
00:38:02,620 --> 00:38:04,320
I'm going home.

523
00:38:04,320 --> 00:38:09,880
And so we turned around and, you know, and we came home.

524
00:38:09,880 --> 00:38:12,160
I was able to get myself there the next day.

525
00:38:12,160 --> 00:38:14,400
I said to my kids, I'm going to try again.

526
00:38:14,400 --> 00:38:16,520
I can't guarantee anything.

527
00:38:16,520 --> 00:38:23,040
I left the dog home and I was able to get there on my way home that day.

528
00:38:23,040 --> 00:38:27,640
My son called me and he said, Mom, you might be mad at me, but I just want to let you know

529
00:38:27,640 --> 00:38:32,520
that I called your church and got the number for the counselor.

530
00:38:32,520 --> 00:38:34,360
And I said, well, I'm not mad at you.

531
00:38:34,360 --> 00:38:35,840
The counselor is a friend of mine.

532
00:38:35,840 --> 00:38:40,320
I have her number right here and I called her myself on the way home.

533
00:38:40,320 --> 00:38:43,520
So just that grief process.

534
00:38:43,520 --> 00:38:50,200
And I feel like it will be a part of my life for the rest of my life in different ways.

535
00:38:50,200 --> 00:38:57,280
But again, there was one morning that I was in my bed and I was journaling.

536
00:38:57,280 --> 00:39:03,160
I'm a big journaler and I was writing in my journal.

537
00:39:03,160 --> 00:39:10,360
You know, I could be depressed and angry and bitter.

538
00:39:10,360 --> 00:39:13,200
But that's not going to change anything.

539
00:39:13,200 --> 00:39:19,440
And the Holy Spirit, again, very clearly said to me, it will change everything.

540
00:39:19,440 --> 00:39:23,440
It will change how you walk.

541
00:39:23,440 --> 00:39:26,300
It will change how you deal with life.

542
00:39:26,300 --> 00:39:29,240
It will change how you deal with people.

543
00:39:29,240 --> 00:39:32,520
It will change how people deal with you.

544
00:39:32,520 --> 00:39:34,320
So make no mistake about it.

545
00:39:34,320 --> 00:39:41,560
You could make those choices and you could live there, but it will change everything.

546
00:39:41,560 --> 00:39:48,800
And so even through the grief process, when Rick was first diagnosed, I said to my girlfriends,

547
00:39:48,800 --> 00:39:55,360
as much as you're able, you know, I said, I really had to settle in myself that God

548
00:39:55,360 --> 00:39:59,200
sees me, that he knows where I am.

549
00:39:59,200 --> 00:40:01,880
He knows what life has for us.

550
00:40:01,880 --> 00:40:07,640
And regardless of the plan he has for Rick, he has a plan for me.

551
00:40:07,640 --> 00:40:11,600
I have to say I've never really been in a place.

552
00:40:11,600 --> 00:40:15,000
I know a lot of people get to this place.

553
00:40:15,000 --> 00:40:16,840
We all grieve differently.

554
00:40:16,840 --> 00:40:21,040
I've never really been in a place to ask God why.

555
00:40:21,040 --> 00:40:23,240
I trust him.

556
00:40:23,240 --> 00:40:28,960
And you know, I say that I see the pinhead of the present.

557
00:40:28,960 --> 00:40:32,520
God sees the beginning from the end.

558
00:40:32,520 --> 00:40:34,760
And he knows what is best.

559
00:40:34,760 --> 00:40:39,040
And I think that's something that we have to also settle in ourselves is that God is

560
00:40:39,040 --> 00:40:40,040
good.

561
00:40:40,040 --> 00:40:43,640
He's good and he's kind.

562
00:40:43,640 --> 00:40:46,960
And so I never really got to the place of being.

563
00:40:46,960 --> 00:40:50,240
People would say to me, are you angry with God?

564
00:40:50,240 --> 00:40:52,240
No.

565
00:40:52,240 --> 00:40:53,880
How could I be angry with God?

566
00:40:53,880 --> 00:40:55,880
God is my lifeline.

567
00:40:55,880 --> 00:40:57,600
God is the one who saves me.

568
00:40:57,600 --> 00:40:59,000
He's the one who heals me.

569
00:40:59,000 --> 00:41:01,000
He's the one who restores me.

570
00:41:01,000 --> 00:41:06,520
I remember one night before Rick passed, I was bawling my eyes out, laying on his chest,

571
00:41:06,520 --> 00:41:08,200
just bawling my eyes out.

572
00:41:08,200 --> 00:41:11,240
And Rick said to me, Lynn, are you angry at God?

573
00:41:11,240 --> 00:41:18,080
And I said, no, I'm angry at the circumstances, but I'm not angry at God.

574
00:41:18,080 --> 00:41:19,440
Do I want to walk through this?

575
00:41:19,440 --> 00:41:20,440
No, thank you.

576
00:41:20,440 --> 00:41:24,840
No, this would not be anything I would ever choose to do myself.

577
00:41:24,840 --> 00:41:26,320
But is God faithful?

578
00:41:26,320 --> 00:41:28,200
God is faithful.

579
00:41:28,200 --> 00:41:34,720
And so I say often that I am a blessed woman.

580
00:41:34,720 --> 00:41:39,920
And I say to God, I have one complaint and it's a big one.

581
00:41:39,920 --> 00:41:41,920
My husband's not here.

582
00:41:41,920 --> 00:41:45,120
Beyond that, I am a blessed woman.

583
00:41:45,120 --> 00:41:48,640
God knows how to care for me.

584
00:41:48,640 --> 00:41:49,640
I am blessed.

585
00:41:49,640 --> 00:41:56,160
I am blessed by my children, my grandchildren, my friends, my support group, my church that

586
00:41:56,160 --> 00:41:58,720
has been so supportive to us.

587
00:41:58,720 --> 00:42:00,320
And so I am a blessed woman.

588
00:42:00,320 --> 00:42:05,200
I said to the Lord a few weeks ago, God, you know what, if I start complaining, could you

589
00:42:05,200 --> 00:42:08,000
just smack me upside the head?

590
00:42:08,000 --> 00:42:16,920
Because I really have nothing to complain about except for that one thing.

591
00:42:16,920 --> 00:42:22,880
And the Lord has allowed you to start really kind of sharing your experiences and wisdom

592
00:42:22,880 --> 00:42:26,920
with other women who've been in a place of grief as well.

593
00:42:26,920 --> 00:42:33,520
Yes, I'd say over this past year, some of them in these couple of weeks are celebrating

594
00:42:33,520 --> 00:42:35,320
one year anniversaries.

595
00:42:35,320 --> 00:42:43,200
I have had several friends that have lost their husbands.

596
00:42:43,200 --> 00:42:49,920
One man who has lost his wife recently.

597
00:42:49,920 --> 00:42:57,320
And my life scripture has always been 2 Corinthians 1, that when we go through trials, God comforts

598
00:42:57,320 --> 00:43:04,720
us that he's the God of comfort so that then we are able to comfort others.

599
00:43:04,720 --> 00:43:06,200
And I take that very seriously.

600
00:43:06,200 --> 00:43:13,080
I remember my girlfriend, it was probably a year ago.

601
00:43:13,080 --> 00:43:17,360
Her husband died one year, one month, one day after mine.

602
00:43:17,360 --> 00:43:22,920
And so I was at their home preparing a room for him to be able to come home for his last

603
00:43:22,920 --> 00:43:23,920
time.

604
00:43:23,920 --> 00:43:31,920
You know, my girlfriend said to me, Lynn, how can you be helping us when you're walking

605
00:43:31,920 --> 00:43:34,480
through your own stuff?

606
00:43:34,480 --> 00:43:38,360
You know, and I thought, you know what, does it make it worth it?

607
00:43:38,360 --> 00:43:40,080
I don't know about that.

608
00:43:40,080 --> 00:43:46,280
But you know, God says he uses everything and that what the enemy means for our destruction,

609
00:43:46,280 --> 00:43:49,680
he uses for his glory and for salvation.

610
00:43:49,680 --> 00:43:54,720
And so I see, you know what, it gives it purpose.

611
00:43:54,720 --> 00:44:00,120
It gives it purpose and to be able to help other people.

612
00:44:00,120 --> 00:44:05,920
You know, and I think I'm a part of a Facebook, a widow's group, widow's group, and I hear

613
00:44:05,920 --> 00:44:09,540
people's stories and I think, you know what, this is tough.

614
00:44:09,540 --> 00:44:14,920
This is probably and hopefully the hardest thing I will ever walk through.

615
00:44:14,920 --> 00:44:21,200
But there are people that are walking through situations that I can't even imagine, you

616
00:44:21,200 --> 00:44:28,560
know, whether they've lost a child or have been abandoned by, you know, people as they

617
00:44:28,560 --> 00:44:30,240
go through grief.

618
00:44:30,240 --> 00:44:37,520
I just read people's situations and just think God is just so good as we, you know, as we

619
00:44:37,520 --> 00:44:40,120
lean into him and submit to him.

620
00:44:40,120 --> 00:44:45,760
You know, I remember saying to a girlfriend who was kind of walking a cancer journey with

621
00:44:45,760 --> 00:44:53,000
us and her husband was going through treatment and she actually called me one time as I was

622
00:44:53,000 --> 00:44:55,600
she didn't realize this, but I was in the waiting room.

623
00:44:55,600 --> 00:45:02,080
Rick was in surgery for a lung biopsy and she was having a hard time.

624
00:45:02,080 --> 00:45:10,080
And I said to her, you know what, I realize that as long as I want God to do what I want

625
00:45:10,080 --> 00:45:16,480
him to do, when I want him to do it, the way I want him to do it, I have agita, I have

626
00:45:16,480 --> 00:45:24,400
anxiety, but the moment that I submit and say, God, not my will, but yours be done,

627
00:45:24,400 --> 00:45:25,400
I have peace.

628
00:45:25,400 --> 00:45:34,760
And that goes even for the grief journey that when I submit to him, I think sometimes our

629
00:45:34,760 --> 00:45:37,640
prayers can be a little bit manipulative.

630
00:45:37,640 --> 00:45:45,360
We're trying to get God to do what we want him to do rather than seeking him and trusting

631
00:45:45,360 --> 00:45:48,160
him for what he would want to do.

632
00:45:48,160 --> 00:45:51,680
So Lynn, you've walked many, many years with the Lord and you've shared some great wisdom,

633
00:45:51,680 --> 00:45:57,680
but are there one or two other key truths that you can share to help others if they're

634
00:45:57,680 --> 00:46:01,120
in good times or we're walking through the tough times?

635
00:46:01,120 --> 00:46:04,880
One thing is I would say God is trustworthy.

636
00:46:04,880 --> 00:46:08,480
He is worthy of our trust.

637
00:46:08,480 --> 00:46:11,400
He loves us like no one else could love us.

638
00:46:11,400 --> 00:46:13,520
He has a plan for us.

639
00:46:13,520 --> 00:46:16,560
He has purpose for our lives.

640
00:46:16,560 --> 00:46:21,880
And so I would say trust God.

641
00:46:21,880 --> 00:46:27,120
In the days that are the hardest, when you don't know what to do, you don't know where

642
00:46:27,120 --> 00:46:34,240
to go, lean in and trust God because he's trustworthy and he's faithful.

643
00:46:34,240 --> 00:46:40,240
And I think the second thing I would say is that walking with God is a relationship.

644
00:46:40,240 --> 00:46:46,240
And some of what I shared before about submitting to him, he is Lord.

645
00:46:46,240 --> 00:46:48,480
He doesn't submit to us.

646
00:46:48,480 --> 00:46:56,960
We submit to him and walking with him is a relationship and he deals with us in process.

647
00:46:56,960 --> 00:46:59,080
He's not a sugar daddy.

648
00:46:59,080 --> 00:47:01,760
He's not Santa Claus.

649
00:47:01,760 --> 00:47:05,880
He wants us to grow and be healed and restored.

650
00:47:05,880 --> 00:47:11,360
And that comes through allowing him to work in process in our lives.

651
00:47:11,360 --> 00:47:20,920
So I would encourage all of us that whatever you're dealing with, don't look to blame others.

652
00:47:20,920 --> 00:47:23,400
Take responsibility for your life.

653
00:47:23,400 --> 00:47:29,800
Take responsibility for your relationship with the Lord and walk in relationship with

654
00:47:29,800 --> 00:47:30,800
him.

655
00:47:30,800 --> 00:47:36,160
I remember thinking when I was going through the process with Rick on the cancer journey,

656
00:47:36,160 --> 00:47:43,480
I remember thinking that my life was in a broad place, that God had brought me into

657
00:47:43,480 --> 00:47:50,080
a broad place of freedom that I had never known in my life.

658
00:47:50,080 --> 00:47:52,280
And he did that through process.

659
00:47:52,280 --> 00:47:54,340
He did that through repentance.

660
00:47:54,340 --> 00:48:05,480
He did that through allowing him to show me why I was acting or reacting in the way that

661
00:48:05,480 --> 00:48:11,800
I was and then submitting to him and walking through to get to freedom.

662
00:48:11,800 --> 00:48:17,320
So I would just say treasure that relationship and allow God to be God.

663
00:48:17,320 --> 00:48:24,000
Well, before we end, Lynn, is there a woman's story in the Bible that's inspired, encouraged

664
00:48:24,000 --> 00:48:25,600
or taught you something?

665
00:48:25,600 --> 00:48:28,120
And how does her story relate to yours?

666
00:48:28,120 --> 00:48:29,120
Okay.

667
00:48:29,120 --> 00:48:34,400
I think that someone I think about a lot is Deborah, the judge.

668
00:48:34,400 --> 00:48:43,520
The word says about her that she was a judge and that Israel came to her.

669
00:48:43,520 --> 00:48:53,560
And so it has always been inspired me to seek the Lord for wisdom and to seek the Lord for

670
00:48:53,560 --> 00:48:57,600
wisdom in my life and the things that I'm dealing with.

671
00:48:57,600 --> 00:49:01,320
And then to be able to share that wisdom with others.

672
00:49:01,320 --> 00:49:05,160
And as she shared with Barack when God said, it's time to go.

673
00:49:05,160 --> 00:49:08,160
It's time to go and fight this war and I'm going to give you the victory.

674
00:49:08,160 --> 00:49:10,920
And Barack said, I'm not going unless you go with me.

675
00:49:10,920 --> 00:49:20,040
I just is so inspiring to me that she didn't really she didn't back down from that.

676
00:49:20,040 --> 00:49:24,240
She stood up to that and said, OK, let's go do this.

677
00:49:24,240 --> 00:49:30,720
And so, you know, that she just really had the courage to do what God called her to do.

678
00:49:30,720 --> 00:49:31,720
That's a good word.

679
00:49:31,720 --> 00:49:36,560
Well, you know, no matter what season of life we're walking through, the Lord is a very

680
00:49:36,560 --> 00:49:40,800
great, a very merciful and a very kind shepherd.

681
00:49:40,800 --> 00:49:49,560
He's the one who directs us to places of refreshing, of restoration, of comfort, of provision, of

682
00:49:49,560 --> 00:49:52,400
protection and of goodness.

683
00:49:52,400 --> 00:49:57,680
Lynn, would you take a moment and pray for everyone who's listening to this episode?

684
00:49:57,680 --> 00:50:03,160
So, Father God, we just come before you and we give you honor.

685
00:50:03,160 --> 00:50:04,520
We give you glory.

686
00:50:04,520 --> 00:50:10,240
We give you praise because you are worthy of that.

687
00:50:10,240 --> 00:50:12,960
And so, Father, I pray for each one that's listening.

688
00:50:12,960 --> 00:50:19,280
Father, I pray that some of the things that Jody and I have shared would inspire, would

689
00:50:19,280 --> 00:50:28,680
exhort, would encourage us to grow in our relationship with you, to lean into you even

690
00:50:28,680 --> 00:50:35,160
in the darkest times of our life and allow you to be God, allow you to be our comforter,

691
00:50:35,160 --> 00:50:39,480
allow you to be our strength, allow you to be our wisdom.

692
00:50:39,480 --> 00:50:48,760
Your word says, Lord, that you are the wisdom and knowledge, the stability for our times.

693
00:50:48,760 --> 00:50:53,240
And Father, I thank you that that truly is who you are.

694
00:50:53,240 --> 00:50:58,280
That as we walk through situations in our lives, that you walk with us, that you lead

695
00:50:58,280 --> 00:51:00,400
us, that you guide us.

696
00:51:00,400 --> 00:51:04,840
And so, Father, I pray for each one of us that we wouldn't be, as your word says, like

697
00:51:04,840 --> 00:51:11,760
a mule that needs to have a harness on them, to get them to go where you would have them

698
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go.

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But Father, that we would be quick to submit to you, that we would be quick to come to

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you, that we would be quick to allow you to be truly the Lord of our lives.

701
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That Father, that you would be glorified in our lives, Lord God.

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So Father, I ask today that for those that are listening, Father, that you would comfort

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00:51:37,240 --> 00:51:42,920
those that need to be comforted, that you would strengthen those that need strength,

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00:51:42,920 --> 00:51:48,760
and Father, that you would speak to those that need to hear your voice.

705
00:51:48,760 --> 00:51:54,320
And continue, Lord, I pray, to teach us how to walk with you through all the days of our

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00:51:54,320 --> 00:51:55,320
lives.

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In Jesus' name.

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Amen.

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Well, thank you for tuning in.

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In our show notes at HerGodStory.org, you'll find links to the scriptures and other helpful

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00:52:04,880 --> 00:52:10,240
information, as well as a free six-week devotional on Women of the Bible.

712
00:52:10,240 --> 00:52:11,240
Check it out.

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00:52:11,240 --> 00:52:13,760
We hope it'll bless you in your walk with the Lord.

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And if you need prayer, we'd love to pray with you on our 24-7 prayer and text line.

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You can give us a call anytime at 855-459-CARE or email us at prayer at somebody cares.org.

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00:52:26,760 --> 00:52:30,520
Would you take a moment and rate or review the podcast on whatever streaming service

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00:52:30,520 --> 00:52:34,560
you use and share this story with friends who might enjoy it?

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00:52:34,560 --> 00:52:39,620
If you haven't already, be sure to like or follow the podcast so you don't miss an episode.

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00:52:39,620 --> 00:52:44,120
And now, dear friends, I leave you with a blessing adapted from Colossians 1, verses

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9 and 10.

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May the Lord give you complete knowledge of His will and give you spiritual wisdom and

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understanding so you will always honor and please the Lord, producing every kind of good

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fruit.

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And may you learn to know God better and better.

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Her God Story is a ministry of Somebody Cares America and international.

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To find out more about or support the ministry, go to somebodycares.org.