God Still Has A Plan For You, Angela Haydel's Story

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You probably know by now that I love a good story, especially when it's a God story.

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Some stories awaken our emotions and expose rawness we've tried to protect, but when

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God is in it, we can trust exposure is for our healing.

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To take the sting out of our wounds and set us free from hurt, we can also trust that

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if God is in the story, it is always to bring about good for us, in us, and through us.

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This episode is such a story.

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Friends, I'm your host, Jodie Chiricosta, ministry leader at Somebody Cares America International,

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author and traveler on this journey of faith.

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Before I introduce my guest, I encourage you to take a moment to like or follow this podcast

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on your favorite streaming platform so you won't miss any encouraging episodes.

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In Galatians 5: 7- 8, the apostle Paul tells the Galatian church, you were running

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the race so well.

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Who has held you back from following the truth?

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It certainly isn't God, for He is the one who called you to freedom.

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You see, the Christians in Galatia were on the right track, but then got confused by

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some false teaching and the pressures of the world, so they ended up in bondage to the

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law and to sin.

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Paul was reminding them that God called them and provided them with freedom.

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My guest, Angela Hadel, has had a similar journey.

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An outgoing, joyful woman of God, Angela works as a corporate executive assistant and serves

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through her church as God opens the doors.

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Mother of a young adult, she's experienced the goodness of God in many, many ways.

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She has a passion to see people walking free in their relationship with the Lord.

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Welcome Angela.

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Thank you so much for having me today.

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Angela, being the daughter of a pastor, you grew up hearing and experiencing the things

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of God.

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Tell us a little about your early years and when you personally made a decision to follow

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Jesus.

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So I was born into a home of a minister.

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He was once traveling and then he got married to my mother and they were assisting in churches.

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One day when I was probably about one and a half years old, they got a phone call from

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David Wilkerson and said, there's a church in Houston that needs your help.

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They are being overrun by all these hippies.

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I believe God is telling you to go down there.

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Long story short, they finally made it and we were plopped into the middle of the Jesus

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movement.

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We had kids with long hairs, no shoes.

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It was wild and crazy, but yet there was a sense of godly orderliness to it all.

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So I was two years old through about seven and those were my formative years of seeing

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God do and hearing about God doing miraculous things while still playing dollhouse and dress

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up and all that.

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So I would say I broke my teeth on the pews and was just involved in that presence of

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God so heavily back in the 70s.

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And then from there we moved to East Texas and was involved in another ministry that

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was just incredible with all these young people getting saved and discipled.

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I was right there in the middle of it all and just have such incredible memories of

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seeing God provide for my family, not even knowing that we needed to provision, just

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always knowing God was there.

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And never had a thought of not serving God, never had a thought of God not being in my

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life or just, He was there.

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He was just another part of the family.

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It was like we were all in the family.

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And so from there we moved quite a bit and during my young years, every about every two

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years which can be difficult for a highly outgoing person who loves to make friendships.

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And then I would say when I was probably in between my fifth and sixth grade year we were

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living in California and the speaker of the church camp I went to said, you know, you

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need to ask Jesus into your heart.

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If you haven't done that yet, He doesn't live there.

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And I was like, whoa, I want Jesus live in there.

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So I talked to my camp counselor and she led me into the prayer of accepting Jesus into

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my life and then went back home to my home church and got baptized.

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And so I just never thought of living any other way than with God.

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I never knew I was different as being a preacher's daughter.

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I just was friendly with everybody.

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And then junior high hit.

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Yeah.

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And I mean, as many of us experience your teenage years and even into your twenties

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were rough as you began to search for identity and significance and acceptance and there

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was a tug of war going on inside you.

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Absolutely.

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You were serving in the church.

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You were seeking friends and relationships.

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Share about that time period and really where it took you.

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So we moved from California.

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I was very protected, if you will, because I went to a Christian school.

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My dad was the principal.

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I knew everybody.

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And then we moved back to Texas and I was plopped into a public school and had never

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heard language like I heard, drugs being talked about.

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And immediately I felt extremely insecure.

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I wasn't going to the parties or to the dances or, you know, hanging out with the popular

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crowd than I was less than.

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And so it began this as we all, you know, especially women, young girls, we just think,

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oh, well, what we see in the teen magazine is what we have to have in our life.

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And my life was very much not like a teen magazine because my family was, you know,

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we were, I call us pioneers.

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We were on the front lines of, you know, in the 80s, there was such a fight between God

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and country and those that wanted to come in and change.

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And so I saw my dad, he was very popular on the radio, our family, everybody quote knew

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us, but yet I felt so unknown.

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And so I began to, instead of going to the Lord and, you know, in, in, in James, it says,

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for we are to humble ourselves, which means we are, you know, feeling very insignificant,

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humble ourselves in his presence and then he will lift you up and he will give you your

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significance.

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Well, you would think I would know that being in the environment that I lived in, but I

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didn't.

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It was not just automatic because my dad was who he was or my mom was who she was.

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It was incumbent upon me to make the choices and I was not making good choices.

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We were moving a lot.

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There was a lot of change and I just began to grasp for, you know, who am I in this?

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And I was looking at boys, you know, I was so boy crazy because if I got a boy to like

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me, then I would feel okay.

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Or if I, if someone said I was pretty, then I felt okay.

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But I was so caught up in pleasing everybody and they call it in the church world, a man

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pleasing spirit.

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It was basically my drive to be approved by everybody was overwhelming and suffocating.

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And I began to change who I was to fit in with the crowd because I felt, well, if I

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can do this, I mean, even to the point where a friend of mine, she was very popular.

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She didn't like, I think it was lemons and I'm like, well, I don't like lemons either,

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you know, and I'm like, well, that's dumb.

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Of course I like lemons, you know, but I mean, that's how crazy it was.

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And I would not even leave the house until I looked around my mirror 360, a hundred times

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to make sure everything was in place because I didn't want to be made fun of.

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And I didn't want to be thought of less than, and I didn't want to be thought of not having

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it together.

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And it ruled my life.

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And in the midst of all this, I was doing incredible ministries.

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I got to do inner city ministries.

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I've witnessed to drug addicts.

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I've witnessed to the pimps and the prostitutes and loved on their kids.

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And God gave me real boldness, but yet in the same time I was this, this conflicted,

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you know, needed to have a man in my life, you know?

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And I remember one time I was just crying out to God as we do in our teens, you know,

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God, I want a boyfriend.

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And I was like, God cut through all the noise and he said, if I give you that, you will

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make him your God.

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And I was like, but I still want one, you know, sort of like the children of Israel

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saying, I want a king, I want a king, I want a king, you know?

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And so I was able to do all these incredible ministries and, you know, led some kids to

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the Lord and influenced, but yet inside I was struggling.

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Who am I?

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Who am I?

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Who am I?

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But I say, you know, if God can use a donkey like he did in the Bible, then he can use

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anybody, you know?

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So I just was trying to find out who I was.

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And you know, maybe if I met somebody and got married, all my problems would be fixed.

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And so I had the Cinderella syndrome, as they say, and I wanted to be in ministry and doing

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things along with my potential husband and, you know, kicking the devil's butt and all

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that.

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That's what I wanted to do.

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But I couldn't, there was no one, I could find no one that had that same passion.

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And that was my type, I should say.

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And so I just, it was just, it was just the struggle of the struggle.

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And what I failed to realize, what it's not what I do or who I know, because I knew a

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lot of people with my dad and ministry and getting, you know, gosh, I just met so many

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people over the years, big names of ministries and ministers.

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And I was on a children's album and you know, all these things that are, that these opportunities

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that came, it's not about all those things, it's in who you serve.

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And you either serve, you know, it's very black and white.

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It's either the devil or it's God, period.

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And I rode the middle for a very long time.

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My dad said, you'll rip your britches if you ride the fence.

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And that's so true.

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Yeah, it's painful being on the fence, isn't it?

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So eventually you did meet who you thought was Mr. Prince Charming in ministry.

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Share about that.

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He was a great guy, much younger than me.

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Y2K was about to happen and I was about, I was 30 and I was like, I have got to find

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me a husband.

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I am an old spinster.

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I went to Southwestern, some years ago, I did not get my MRS degree there.

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I have been in YWAM.

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I've done, I've been, you know, almost all over the world.

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And I'm like, where are the mid, you know, so I found somebody and tried to put that

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person in my mold of who I thought I should be marrying.

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Again, trying to think, oh, if I meet him, all my needs will be met.

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We'll be serving the Lord together and everything's going to be hunky dory.

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And I'm going to have this new family and all of the, you know, the family issues that

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everyone has.

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Oh, it's going to be different over here, you know.

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And actually I was going, I really jumped into the fire because I made, I forced and

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I made what you would say would be an ishmael.

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You know, I thought, well, God needs some help.

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So I'm going to help him.

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So you got married and you know, obviously you're saying it didn't meet all those needs

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that you really thought that it would.

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It's a magnifying glass.

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It exposes everything.

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Right.

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And there was great heartache ahead.

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But in the midst of all of that, you know, just like God, he reaches in and shows us

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his goodness in the middle of our mess.

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Yes.

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It's so true.

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You know, I always say, I've always told people, they're like, how?

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And you'll, as you hear my story, you'll understand why they ask this question.

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How are you still serving God after all that's happened to you?

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I just know that God is so gracious.

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And I don't even know, cause I would have given up on me a long time ago.

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I would have gone, you're out of here.

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Let's go to the next, you know, but God is so gracious and he is so all knowing.

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Thank you Lord.

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And he's so, he's so full of wisdom.

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He is wisdom.

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And he knew that my heart was always for God.

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I just didn't always make the right decisions because I let my feelings get ahead of me

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and my life.

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And so I went through infertility.

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We had a miscarriage.

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I still felt like I was going to be expecting it was, I miscarried on February 14th, 2005

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and Valentine's day.

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And, but I still felt like God, I still felt pregnant.

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It was really, it was really bizarre.

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And I mean, there's just so many little things like, for instance, I had to go get a DNC

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and I was just like, Oh Lord, and they sent me to this OBGYN who was a Christian and he

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prayed with me before I went into surgery.

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I mean, how many, I wasn't looking for that, but God just dropped that right there.

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You know, it's just that little bitty thing, but we adopted our son.

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And his parents lived on the streets of Houston.

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We went through a ministry of YWAM and which kind of came full circle because I grew up

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as a YWAM kid, you know.

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And YWAM in Houston started an adoption agency, which is?

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Little Footprints.

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And then their ministry is based out of in Lindale, Texas, where they have a home for

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girls who get pregnant.

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They find themselves in the situation and they want help.

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And so, and what's really funny is I used to play in the house that this ministry is

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now located in when I was a little girl when we lived in East Texas.

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So all these little things, God just, you know, I'm really big with connections and

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you know, I'm just big on relationships and God just kept bringing all those relationships

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back in and in through this terrible time.

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I mean, when you go through infertility, you're shot up with all kinds of drugs and hormones

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and you know, I gained so much weight and because I was also pregnant and then, you

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know, and then I get this call to say, hey, would you like to adopt this baby?

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And I was like, yes, you know, and so God, and this is after this is after the miscarriage.

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So the miscarriage happened in Friday in February and I got the call probably end of May, 1st

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of June that there's this baby and I was like, yes, I want the baby.

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And I didn't even ask like my husband at the time.

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I didn't care what ethnicity I just knew when she said those words, it was like I bonded

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with that kid.

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I didn't know if it was a boy or girl.

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I didn't know if there was drugs.

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I didn't know what ethnicity.

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I just knew I was supposed to be that kid's mom.

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The shadow of it out.

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And so because it's because it's kind of interesting because in the 70s, my dad and you know, the

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youth group, they ministered in the Montrose area.

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Then in the 80s, Doug Stringer and then we came along.

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Well it was Doug Stringer and then we came along in the 90s and then in the 2000s, YWAM

242
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was down there.

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So it's like this full circle of God giving me my son through the very streets where we

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ministered as a family, you know.

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Yeah.

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And for those who don't live in Houston, Montrose in that period of time was, you know, where

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a lot of the homeless and runaways.

248
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Yeah.

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Runaways.

250
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Yeah.

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So it was that environment.

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Yes.

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And that's where my son came from and that's my parents' first grandkids.

254
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So anyways, we go through this.

255
00:16:03,840 --> 00:16:08,880
I'm not going to throw anyone under the bus because a break in marriage is just not one-sided.

256
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It is two-sided.

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And I had my issues of not knowing who I was and really not, you know, because I forced

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this ishmael, you know, I'm in this situation.

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And so it ended with infidelity and I just was like, okay, I'm out.

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I didn't give it a chance.

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I just said I'm out.

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And I really felt like, you know, after nine and a half years with all of the struggles

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and other issues that were happening, that chapter was over.

264
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God spoke to me very clearly.

265
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I went on this ministry outing.

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It was through a ministry up in Fort Worth and my cousin said, you've got to go do this.

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And so I did it.

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He paid my way.

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It was a full week and I got away with God.

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And that was the beginning of remaking who I am.

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Had a very significant thing happen there.

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You know, you never thought you'd end up a divorced single mom.

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Never.

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Of course, you know, who thinks that way?

275
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And that brought all those feelings of inadequacy to the forefront again.

276
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Oh, yeah.

277
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But over time through this journey that you were on with God, he began healing those hurts,

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giving you a new identity.

279
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So take us through a little bit of that journey.

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You started to tell us about the retreat that you went on, but there's, you know, tell us

281
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about that and the other things that, you know, God was really doing in you.

282
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I was just really messed up emotionally.

283
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I felt raw.

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You know, any of those that are listening today that have gone through a break of that

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magnitude, it literally leaves you broken.

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On this ministry, I don't want to call it a retreat because it was so much more.

287
00:17:47,720 --> 00:17:52,240
It was just a way of me getting alone with God and with a bunch of other women and God

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spoke to me.

289
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And that was their whole premise is to marry your heart back to God.

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And I was on this, it was a day during the week and they sent us all out and said, there's

291
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no talking.

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You're going to fast talking, which freaked me out.

293
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And you're going to be by yourself and you've got this backpack, no food, here's water,

294
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Gatorade.

295
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And when you go to the restroom, here's what you have to do.

296
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Dig a hole, you know, the whole thing.

297
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And that didn't bother me because I grew up camping.

298
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But what bothered me was nobody around me and no one to talk to.

299
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And that created huge anxiety for me, like major.

300
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Like I felt like being outside by myself, everything was closing in on me.

301
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And the Lord was so faithful.

302
00:18:35,560 --> 00:18:41,280
I walked out of the home that we were staying in on this property with my backpack, ready

303
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to not speak for 24 hours, asking God to please be with me.

304
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And I'm still, remember, there's still stuff going on at home.

305
00:18:49,200 --> 00:18:54,760
I had to put my son in another daycare because there was some CPS stuff issues and all this

306
00:18:54,760 --> 00:18:55,760
was going on.

307
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I had no way to contact my family and my kid was, I left my kid with my parents and he

308
00:19:00,320 --> 00:19:01,480
was two.

309
00:19:01,480 --> 00:19:06,960
But God showed up and there were these two dogs on the property and I love animals, dogs

310
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mostly.

311
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And they stayed with me the entire day.

312
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They never left my side not to get, well, I was by a creek when I landed and set out

313
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for the day all my duties.

314
00:19:18,280 --> 00:19:20,360
And God just said, see, you're not alone.

315
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And they stayed with me.

316
00:19:21,360 --> 00:19:24,320
They kept me warm because it was in January, it was cold.

317
00:19:24,320 --> 00:19:31,880
So there was one part of the day that it said put everything down and just take a walk in

318
00:19:31,880 --> 00:19:32,880
nature.

319
00:19:32,880 --> 00:19:35,880
And I'm like, okay, I'm not a nature tree hugger person.

320
00:19:35,880 --> 00:19:37,040
I love nature.

321
00:19:37,040 --> 00:19:39,400
I think God made it, but I don't get too into it.

322
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And I was like, okay, here we go.

323
00:19:41,000 --> 00:19:45,960
So I start walking, you know, because I am obedient.

324
00:19:45,960 --> 00:19:50,760
Start walking and I realized I'm in this dried up riverbank.

325
00:19:50,760 --> 00:19:55,240
And I looked down at all these rocks and I just was like, okay, God, are you going to

326
00:19:55,240 --> 00:19:57,960
show me some rock with some significance?

327
00:19:57,960 --> 00:20:01,800
Because the side note is that God did the same thing to my dad.

328
00:20:01,800 --> 00:20:02,800
My dad went on a walk.

329
00:20:02,800 --> 00:20:04,520
He was in a rough time.

330
00:20:04,520 --> 00:20:07,280
He stubbed his toe, went down to grab that rock to throw it.

331
00:20:07,280 --> 00:20:08,360
God said, look at it.

332
00:20:08,360 --> 00:20:12,200
After some arguing, he finally looked at it and there was a hole straight through the

333
00:20:12,200 --> 00:20:13,200
rock.

334
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And God said, I will make a way where there seems to be in a way.

335
00:20:15,640 --> 00:20:19,160
So I'm thinking, oh, what God, you're going to give me a rock, you know, like you're going

336
00:20:19,160 --> 00:20:20,840
to speak to me like my dad.

337
00:20:20,840 --> 00:20:23,600
I reached down and get this rock and it's like a square.

338
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It's a perfect square.

339
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And I was like, well, that's weird.

340
00:20:27,560 --> 00:20:30,600
And I was like, okay, God, don't say it's like the four tribes of Judah and you're going

341
00:20:30,600 --> 00:20:32,880
to marry somebody that's going to be on this tribe.

342
00:20:32,880 --> 00:20:35,440
You know, I was like, I don't need to hear that Lord.

343
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So I was kind of a cynic.

344
00:20:37,320 --> 00:20:43,960
So I put it in my pocket, get back to my palette and we're reading and they wanted us to read

345
00:20:43,960 --> 00:20:44,960
this one portion of scripture.

346
00:20:44,960 --> 00:20:46,600
And I don't like to start in the middle of a chapter.

347
00:20:46,600 --> 00:20:47,600
I like to read the whole thing.

348
00:20:47,600 --> 00:20:51,520
So I go to the front and it said, unless you go back to square one.

349
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And I was like, square one.

350
00:20:53,220 --> 00:20:59,880
And immediately God said to me, if you will keep me as like the cornerstone of your life,

351
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the cornerstone.

352
00:21:01,060 --> 00:21:04,640
And if you're in building, you know that if you don't have a good corner, your building's

353
00:21:04,640 --> 00:21:06,120
going to be crooked.

354
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And I was like, oh my goodness Lord.

355
00:21:08,520 --> 00:21:16,920
And I look up and I see like this big strip of film, like if you will, big strip of film

356
00:21:16,920 --> 00:21:23,440
across the sky and all of the frames of my life, things that I've done, things done to

357
00:21:23,440 --> 00:21:29,320
me by people, all my mistakes, all the wrongdoings, everything that the enemy for years had been

358
00:21:29,320 --> 00:21:32,080
just using all those details to just pick at me.

359
00:21:32,080 --> 00:21:36,000
And I saw God's hand come down and just wipe all of that away.

360
00:21:36,000 --> 00:21:40,120
Now I still had the frames because they were there, but the details of all the pictures

361
00:21:40,120 --> 00:21:41,640
and all the things that happened were gone.

362
00:21:41,640 --> 00:21:46,880
And I felt like God said, the enemy will no longer use that over your life.

363
00:21:46,880 --> 00:21:48,600
This is a new day.

364
00:21:48,600 --> 00:21:49,600
And I was like, thank you Jesus.

365
00:21:49,600 --> 00:21:50,600
And it was just amazing.

366
00:21:50,600 --> 00:21:52,920
I literally felt that burden lift.

367
00:21:52,920 --> 00:21:54,360
I get back home.

368
00:21:54,360 --> 00:21:56,000
I go through the divorce.

369
00:21:56,000 --> 00:21:58,800
There's more things that happen.

370
00:21:58,800 --> 00:22:05,440
And but God, I still felt like God said today's a new day and I still made horrible choices,

371
00:22:05,440 --> 00:22:08,240
but God was still with me.

372
00:22:08,240 --> 00:22:13,560
You know, as a single mom, as a single woman, you also look to your dad through the years

373
00:22:13,560 --> 00:22:17,720
because you know, it's nice to have a man you can help you with things.

374
00:22:17,720 --> 00:22:22,840
But when he died, suddenly, it was devastating for you.

375
00:22:22,840 --> 00:22:26,280
What happened and how did the Lord see you through that time as well?

376
00:22:26,280 --> 00:22:30,600
Being a little girl and having a dad, you know, that was known by a lot of people.

377
00:22:30,600 --> 00:22:33,280
I mean, every church I went to, everyone went, oh, your buddy's daughter.

378
00:22:33,280 --> 00:22:34,280
Oh, your buddy Hicks' daughter.

379
00:22:34,280 --> 00:22:35,280
Oh, I know your dad.

380
00:22:35,280 --> 00:22:36,280
I knew your dad.

381
00:22:36,280 --> 00:22:41,080
He was my youth pastor back in the, you know, and you're, you become that identity of, okay,

382
00:22:41,080 --> 00:22:44,200
yep, that's my dad and that's who I am.

383
00:22:44,200 --> 00:22:49,240
And I was just very close to my dad, very, very close.

384
00:22:49,240 --> 00:22:55,320
We, you know, one time I was his children's pastor and he and I would go in the back patio

385
00:22:55,320 --> 00:23:01,360
of our house and we would call the, you know, call all the visitors that day and together,

386
00:23:01,360 --> 00:23:02,360
we would do it together.

387
00:23:02,360 --> 00:23:09,840
And so I was very much with my dad a lot and had him on a pedestal that was pretty high,

388
00:23:09,840 --> 00:23:12,800
right up there with God.

389
00:23:12,800 --> 00:23:21,400
And I started realizing that I was actually more concerned about what my parents and especially

390
00:23:21,400 --> 00:23:25,440
my dad thought than what God thought about me.

391
00:23:25,440 --> 00:23:31,960
And so that began the journey of taking my dad off that pedestal and keeping God there.

392
00:23:31,960 --> 00:23:38,000
And that was very, very difficult because trying to slice through that thin line of

393
00:23:38,000 --> 00:23:42,480
he's my dad and he's also more important than God.

394
00:23:42,480 --> 00:23:47,680
You know, there was that, there was that thin line and it took, it took some breaking and

395
00:23:47,680 --> 00:23:49,240
then God built it up again.

396
00:23:49,240 --> 00:23:54,800
But my relationship with my dad went through a season, short season of break, breakage,

397
00:23:54,800 --> 00:23:56,800
but then it was like a miracle.

398
00:23:56,800 --> 00:24:03,600
God brought us back together and he understood dad, understood what I was going through and

399
00:24:03,600 --> 00:24:10,200
toward the end of his life, I was, I think God was preparing me for when he would be

400
00:24:10,200 --> 00:24:15,440
gone because you know, as a single mom and a single woman, he was like my covering.

401
00:24:15,440 --> 00:24:23,280
He was my person, if you will, called me every day, wanting to check up on me.

402
00:24:23,280 --> 00:24:28,600
And you know, I didn't feel that loss, that great loss of not having a man in my life

403
00:24:28,600 --> 00:24:36,560
because he was there, you know, as my dad and as an encourager and he prayed for me.

404
00:24:36,560 --> 00:24:40,960
I could talk to him about things and we get lost together because we both are horrible

405
00:24:40,960 --> 00:24:44,360
with directions and we'd laugh, you know.

406
00:24:44,360 --> 00:24:52,080
And when he died, it was very, it rocked my entire world of who I am because not only

407
00:24:52,080 --> 00:25:02,640
did that happen, that was in April of 2017 and then right after that, we had Harvey and

408
00:25:02,640 --> 00:25:07,200
God had actually told me to sell the house that I was living in because he wanted me

409
00:25:07,200 --> 00:25:12,720
renting because he said if at any time I need to move you, I want you to be able to move

410
00:25:12,720 --> 00:25:16,120
fast and if you have a house, you know, there's all these things you got to go through to

411
00:25:16,120 --> 00:25:18,960
get it sold and because when I move you, it's going to be quick.

412
00:25:18,960 --> 00:25:20,120
And I thought, okay.

413
00:25:20,120 --> 00:25:21,120
And that didn't scare me.

414
00:25:21,120 --> 00:25:22,520
I'm, I trust the Lord.

415
00:25:22,520 --> 00:25:25,080
He's brought me through everything, you know.

416
00:25:25,080 --> 00:25:31,360
So I moved into this house and then like a month and a half later, Harvey hit and I lost

417
00:25:31,360 --> 00:25:34,360
everything from three and a half feet down.

418
00:25:34,360 --> 00:25:35,360
Yeah.

419
00:25:35,360 --> 00:25:36,560
So flooded your home.

420
00:25:36,560 --> 00:25:43,200
You lost, you lost all your furniture or you lost, you know, I mean, gosh, you could keep

421
00:25:43,200 --> 00:25:44,200
sakes.

422
00:25:44,200 --> 00:25:45,560
You couldn't, you couldn't live in the house.

423
00:25:45,560 --> 00:25:47,920
You had to go find a new place to be.

424
00:25:47,920 --> 00:25:50,720
There was three and a half feet of water through the whole house.

425
00:25:50,720 --> 00:25:51,720
Everything was gutted.

426
00:25:51,720 --> 00:25:52,720
Yeah.

427
00:25:52,720 --> 00:25:56,480
I mean, you know, for many people that would have just done a man, especially if you're

428
00:25:56,480 --> 00:26:00,960
grieving the loss of your father, but what kept you moving forward?

429
00:26:00,960 --> 00:26:02,320
How did you recover from that?

430
00:26:02,320 --> 00:26:03,320
Angela?

431
00:26:03,320 --> 00:26:04,720
I mean, that's, that's a big deal.

432
00:26:04,720 --> 00:26:13,520
I think the Lord in his wisdom allows us as humans to go through things of that magnitude,

433
00:26:13,520 --> 00:26:19,920
especially when we are, um, when, when we call him savior, when he is truly the Lord

434
00:26:19,920 --> 00:26:24,640
of our lives, he is the husband to the, to the widow.

435
00:26:24,640 --> 00:26:28,440
He is the father to the fatherless.

436
00:26:28,440 --> 00:26:39,680
And um, I always, my, my dad always made sure that we growing up as kids, we knew that life

437
00:26:39,680 --> 00:26:40,840
happens.

438
00:26:40,840 --> 00:26:43,520
We don't live in a, you know, we do not live in the garden of Eden.

439
00:26:43,520 --> 00:26:48,620
We live in a fallen world and man will fail you every time, but God never will.

440
00:26:48,620 --> 00:26:53,920
That was, that was the basis of my relationship with God.

441
00:26:53,920 --> 00:26:54,960
God will not fail me.

442
00:26:54,960 --> 00:27:00,360
So when you have that, that in there, that's part of, I can't get that out of me.

443
00:27:00,360 --> 00:27:05,200
That's part of who it'd be like trying to separate my skin from my hand.

444
00:27:05,200 --> 00:27:07,600
It's part of me, you know?

445
00:27:07,600 --> 00:27:13,120
And um, so when I was going through that, I was like, okay, God, I don't know what's

446
00:27:13,120 --> 00:27:17,780
going on, but I know you told me to move into this house.

447
00:27:17,780 --> 00:27:20,000
So you must have something for me.

448
00:27:20,000 --> 00:27:25,280
I'm not going to stress about my things because I know I can't take them with me and I'm

449
00:27:25,280 --> 00:27:26,360
just going to trust you, God.

450
00:27:26,360 --> 00:27:32,640
I have nothing else to, I have literally nothing else but my faith in you and you are either

451
00:27:32,640 --> 00:27:35,720
God or you're not.

452
00:27:35,720 --> 00:27:36,860
And I just trusted him.

453
00:27:36,860 --> 00:27:42,400
And I remember one day I was driving up to my mom's house and um, you know how you just

454
00:27:42,400 --> 00:27:45,280
kind of, you just get there and you just go, okay.

455
00:27:45,280 --> 00:27:50,520
And I'm still in my car, the engine's off and I was like, God, I don't know how to do

456
00:27:50,520 --> 00:27:51,520
this.

457
00:27:51,520 --> 00:27:56,120
I said, I feel like I'm literally hanging on by a piece of thread, you know?

458
00:27:56,120 --> 00:27:58,840
And I've got, and I, and I see, I'm, I can see things.

459
00:27:58,840 --> 00:28:00,720
I see pictures and stuff.

460
00:28:00,720 --> 00:28:06,880
So I see myself holding onto this thread, like out of the back of a 747, you know, whatever,

461
00:28:06,880 --> 00:28:10,200
and I'm being tossed and turned and I'm about to lose it and I can't hold on.

462
00:28:10,200 --> 00:28:16,200
And I felt like God said, you're, you're going to be okay because that's from my garment.

463
00:28:16,200 --> 00:28:19,640
And I was like, whoa, it's the, from the hem of your garment.

464
00:28:19,640 --> 00:28:26,040
I mean, what, what came through that hem of the garment came healing, restoration, um,

465
00:28:26,040 --> 00:28:31,480
significance because he was around all these people and that woman touched it and immediately

466
00:28:31,480 --> 00:28:32,740
she was singled out.

467
00:28:32,740 --> 00:28:39,820
So there was, you know, there was the action of being seen as a single person alone.

468
00:28:39,820 --> 00:28:44,880
That action of being seen is a huge deal because I felt like I was unseen for so long.

469
00:28:44,880 --> 00:28:48,200
I'm just a mom or trying to get, you know, I have to work, put my kid in daycare.

470
00:28:48,200 --> 00:28:50,200
That was never the plan.

471
00:28:50,200 --> 00:28:53,000
And now all of a sudden God said, that's from the hem of my garment.

472
00:28:53,000 --> 00:28:54,700
And I was like, whoa.

473
00:28:54,700 --> 00:28:56,860
And I immediately knew what that meant.

474
00:28:56,860 --> 00:28:58,880
And I'm thinking, I'm going to speak on that one day.

475
00:28:58,880 --> 00:29:00,160
I bet you I will.

476
00:29:00,160 --> 00:29:04,120
But I kept that, you know, tucked away and, um, just going through life.

477
00:29:04,120 --> 00:29:10,600
And I said, God, even if all you have for me is just to be Cole's mom and work where

478
00:29:10,600 --> 00:29:15,840
I'm working and to be an influence around me, then that's okay.

479
00:29:15,840 --> 00:29:21,920
But God, don't forget when I was, oh, I forgot to say this in my twenties, I'm, I'm visiting

480
00:29:21,920 --> 00:29:23,040
friends, they're youth pastors.

481
00:29:23,040 --> 00:29:27,560
I go with them to a youth camp and I'm sitting there with all these teenagers in the room

482
00:29:27,560 --> 00:29:32,040
and I was flying for continental and I'm, and I'm sitting there and God said, look down

483
00:29:32,040 --> 00:29:33,800
at this, at the speaker.

484
00:29:33,800 --> 00:29:38,760
And I looked down at her, she has a well known speaker, um, two young people.

485
00:29:38,760 --> 00:29:41,840
And she said, God said, that's going to be you one day.

486
00:29:41,840 --> 00:29:45,200
And I was like, okay, but I better be married when that happens.

487
00:29:45,200 --> 00:29:48,400
You know, I mean, I have all these things that I said to God, but anyway, so here I

488
00:29:48,400 --> 00:29:50,680
am in the driveway.

489
00:29:50,680 --> 00:29:53,100
God said, that's just the hem.

490
00:29:53,100 --> 00:29:55,560
And I was like, got it, Lord.

491
00:29:55,560 --> 00:29:57,120
I got it.

492
00:29:57,120 --> 00:29:58,240
You've got me.

493
00:29:58,240 --> 00:29:59,240
I'm okay.

494
00:29:59,240 --> 00:30:01,200
I may not understand what's going on around me.

495
00:30:01,200 --> 00:30:06,920
I had may have significant loss, but I haven't lost.

496
00:30:06,920 --> 00:30:09,940
I just have lost, but I haven't lost.

497
00:30:09,940 --> 00:30:10,940
And there's a big difference.

498
00:30:10,940 --> 00:30:11,940
Yeah.

499
00:30:11,940 --> 00:30:17,960
You know, it is so important in our faith to truly have a revelation of God's love for

500
00:30:17,960 --> 00:30:19,920
us and God's faithfulness.

501
00:30:19,920 --> 00:30:20,920
Yes.

502
00:30:20,920 --> 00:30:28,200
Because if we don't have that revelation, we can be destroyed by little things that

503
00:30:28,200 --> 00:30:31,240
happened in our world and bigger things that happened in our world.

504
00:30:31,240 --> 00:30:33,440
We can be confused.

505
00:30:33,440 --> 00:30:38,680
But when we know when we are confident of God's love and confident of his faithfulness,

506
00:30:38,680 --> 00:30:43,320
then like you, whatever's going on around them, we're like, okay, God, you have me and

507
00:30:43,320 --> 00:30:45,560
I know you're not vindictive.

508
00:30:45,560 --> 00:30:47,120
You're not a mean God.

509
00:30:47,120 --> 00:30:48,240
You love me.

510
00:30:48,240 --> 00:30:50,120
So you have good for me.

511
00:30:50,120 --> 00:30:52,240
Your intentions for me are always good.

512
00:30:52,240 --> 00:30:53,240
Yeah.

513
00:30:53,240 --> 00:30:57,360
Even if we get caught in terrible situations, like you said, things happen in the world

514
00:30:57,360 --> 00:31:02,560
because people choose poorly, but God's always good and always faithful.

515
00:31:02,560 --> 00:31:03,560
Absolutely.

516
00:31:03,560 --> 00:31:08,720
You know, when we are at our weakest, we see how strong and faithful God really is.

517
00:31:08,720 --> 00:31:13,240
And he has shown himself faithful to you time and time again.

518
00:31:13,240 --> 00:31:16,800
Share some of those things over the years that he did to show you that you were not

519
00:31:16,800 --> 00:31:19,000
alone in all of life.

520
00:31:19,000 --> 00:31:21,840
One of the stories as you were just talking that I don't know if I even shared with you

521
00:31:21,840 --> 00:31:26,960
previously, I worked for an oil company, which was a God's end, you know, right before I

522
00:31:26,960 --> 00:31:29,000
split, I went back to work.

523
00:31:29,000 --> 00:31:32,080
I was really angry about it because I didn't want to go back to work.

524
00:31:32,080 --> 00:31:37,120
And God gave me this incredible job so that when my marriage fell apart, I was able to

525
00:31:37,120 --> 00:31:38,120
sustain myself.

526
00:31:38,120 --> 00:31:43,280
And I didn't, I wasn't like, it was like now, oh, that's why I had to put my kid back in

527
00:31:43,280 --> 00:31:46,800
daycare, you know, again, God, God helping me.

528
00:31:46,800 --> 00:31:54,040
But one incident, we were going to be going public with our company.

529
00:31:54,040 --> 00:31:59,240
And the basically we were told you're going to get all this stock and it's going to be

530
00:31:59,240 --> 00:32:01,000
worth this much.

531
00:32:01,000 --> 00:32:04,520
And you can't have all the money yet, but just, you know, it sounds like, oh, yes.

532
00:32:04,520 --> 00:32:05,520
And I was excited.

533
00:32:05,520 --> 00:32:07,920
I remember thinking this is going to solve all my problems.

534
00:32:07,920 --> 00:32:10,440
I'm going to be able to be debt free.

535
00:32:10,440 --> 00:32:14,400
And I'm going to have this all, you know, I'll have all this money and I'll be able

536
00:32:14,400 --> 00:32:17,720
to provide stuff for my kids that I, you know, I want to take them to Disney and all, you

537
00:32:17,720 --> 00:32:19,560
know, all those things.

538
00:32:19,560 --> 00:32:22,840
And so that might have been like on a Thursday.

539
00:32:22,840 --> 00:32:28,520
On Friday morning, we get told by email, we're not going to be going public.

540
00:32:28,520 --> 00:32:35,300
And I was like, Oh no, I had all this excitement about having all this money and provision.

541
00:32:35,300 --> 00:32:39,760
And I'll never forget, I was, I rode the bus back home from downtown Houston.

542
00:32:39,760 --> 00:32:41,200
I'm sitting at the light.

543
00:32:41,200 --> 00:32:44,600
I'm now in my car sitting at the light trying to go home.

544
00:32:44,600 --> 00:32:47,880
And I just was like, man, this, this really stinks, Lord.

545
00:32:47,880 --> 00:32:54,080
I was so excited and I heard God say, can you be as excited about your life right now

546
00:32:54,080 --> 00:32:56,040
as you were yesterday?

547
00:32:56,040 --> 00:33:00,080
Knowing that yesterday you were going to be well, you know, you're going to get rich today.

548
00:33:00,080 --> 00:33:03,480
Not so much, but can you still be excited about your life?

549
00:33:03,480 --> 00:33:06,360
And I was like, Ooh, God.

550
00:33:06,360 --> 00:33:08,500
Okay Lord, I can still be excited.

551
00:33:08,500 --> 00:33:12,560
And then all of a sudden I just began this, the Lord began to share with me, it's still

552
00:33:12,560 --> 00:33:14,320
going to happen, but it's going to be better.

553
00:33:14,320 --> 00:33:18,360
And it sure enough it did instead of going public, we sold and we got all the money in

554
00:33:18,360 --> 00:33:19,680
cash.

555
00:33:19,680 --> 00:33:23,600
So that was a preparation for the Lord.

556
00:33:23,600 --> 00:33:28,720
You know, having the job before I got divorced was the way the Lord provided for me, finding

557
00:33:28,720 --> 00:33:32,720
the house that I did the cars.

558
00:33:32,720 --> 00:33:37,040
I I've actually given away a car and I'm going to get, I'm getting ready to give another

559
00:33:37,040 --> 00:33:38,040
one away.

560
00:33:38,040 --> 00:33:40,840
And that's only because God has given me things.

561
00:33:40,840 --> 00:33:43,240
And I'm telling you, I've never lacked for a job.

562
00:33:43,240 --> 00:33:45,520
I've never lacked for a mill.

563
00:33:45,520 --> 00:33:47,160
I've never lacked for medicine.

564
00:33:47,160 --> 00:33:48,480
I mean, it's just crazy.

565
00:33:48,480 --> 00:33:54,480
I'm like, and I've got to be one of the richest women in the world for not just, not just

566
00:33:54,480 --> 00:33:55,480
monetarily.

567
00:33:55,480 --> 00:34:00,960
I mean, I do live from paycheck to paycheck, but because I don't, you know, I'm not a good

568
00:34:00,960 --> 00:34:01,960
saver.

569
00:34:01,960 --> 00:34:02,960
I like to spend and yeah.

570
00:34:02,960 --> 00:34:04,720
So anyways, onto the next subject.

571
00:34:04,720 --> 00:34:10,160
But um, but God has just been so faithful to me.

572
00:34:10,160 --> 00:34:14,560
I needed a doctor when, when we adopted Cole, I was like, I need a doctor.

573
00:34:14,560 --> 00:34:19,920
That's not going to be so heavy on the pharmaceutical side because I don't really know all of his,

574
00:34:19,920 --> 00:34:20,920
you know, his lineage.

575
00:34:20,920 --> 00:34:26,040
I don't know anything about his DNA, you know, and God provided a doctor.

576
00:34:26,040 --> 00:34:28,960
Like she was MD, but she also did holistic.

577
00:34:28,960 --> 00:34:34,760
And so we just had this incredible plan of bringing health to my son as an, as an infant,

578
00:34:34,760 --> 00:34:41,080
because he was premature and he tested positive for cocaine and all that, but never once did

579
00:34:41,080 --> 00:34:49,760
I ever falter with, I know I'm called to do this called it, you know, when God calls you,

580
00:34:49,760 --> 00:34:52,600
it doesn't matter what comes at you.

581
00:34:52,600 --> 00:34:54,480
I'm talking hurricane.

582
00:34:54,480 --> 00:34:58,960
I'm talking, you know, death, whatever.

583
00:34:58,960 --> 00:35:07,160
If God has called you to do something, you can stand on that rock of, of knowing and,

584
00:35:07,160 --> 00:35:12,600
and having that knowledge that if God called you, he will take care of you.

585
00:35:12,600 --> 00:35:13,600
And that's where you got to be careful.

586
00:35:13,600 --> 00:35:17,720
There's a lot of times we'll search the Bible to make sense for our own sin.

587
00:35:17,720 --> 00:35:18,720
Oh, I used to do that.

588
00:35:18,720 --> 00:35:19,720
Oh yes I did.

589
00:35:19,720 --> 00:35:22,160
I looked at, Oh, this scripture says blah, blah, blah, blah.

590
00:35:22,160 --> 00:35:25,760
This must mean I'm supposed to go out with this guy, you know, or, you know, I did that.

591
00:35:25,760 --> 00:35:26,760
I did that.

592
00:35:26,760 --> 00:35:27,760
I did it.

593
00:35:27,760 --> 00:35:28,760
Oh, I did it.

594
00:35:28,760 --> 00:35:33,000
But when you know that, you know, God has called you to do something because it's so

595
00:35:33,000 --> 00:35:36,720
bizarre outside of, you know, why would I have sold my house?

596
00:35:36,720 --> 00:35:39,240
I was comfortable, but God said, sell it.

597
00:35:39,240 --> 00:35:42,660
And I said, okay, Lord, and God took care of all the details.

598
00:35:42,660 --> 00:35:45,760
And I ended up in this house that I'm actually in right now.

599
00:35:45,760 --> 00:35:52,400
And I flooded, I, but I got all my furniture restored back to me, miracle upon miracle

600
00:35:52,400 --> 00:35:54,160
upon miracle.

601
00:35:54,160 --> 00:36:00,440
And all I can say is God truly is a good God, even in the hospital when your best friend's

602
00:36:00,440 --> 00:36:03,200
husband is dying and you don't understand.

603
00:36:03,200 --> 00:36:07,800
And my dad died and I, right in front of us, he had an aneurysm while he was preaching

604
00:36:07,800 --> 00:36:10,440
and I actually finished the sermon.

605
00:36:10,440 --> 00:36:12,960
Because he told you to, he was still alive at the time.

606
00:36:12,960 --> 00:36:13,960
Yeah.

607
00:36:13,960 --> 00:36:14,960
Yeah.

608
00:36:14,960 --> 00:36:15,960
Yeah.

609
00:36:15,960 --> 00:36:16,960
He said, you're, you're, you're going to have to finish.

610
00:36:16,960 --> 00:36:21,080
So I grabbed the mic and I'm, you know, then we, you know, that was the last thing my dad

611
00:36:21,080 --> 00:36:23,520
said to me was you're going to have to finish this.

612
00:36:23,520 --> 00:36:28,360
And it was just kind of significant because it just hit me, you know, the reason why he

613
00:36:28,360 --> 00:36:33,840
said my mom and him had kids was that they could, that us, we, us children could do more

614
00:36:33,840 --> 00:36:37,700
for the kingdom than, than he could ever do.

615
00:36:37,700 --> 00:36:44,280
And so now I feel like after going through all of the things I've gone through and I'm

616
00:36:44,280 --> 00:36:49,980
now my son's 18, I feel like I'm getting to a place where God's going to really use me

617
00:36:49,980 --> 00:36:53,720
in a different way than he's already used me.

618
00:36:53,720 --> 00:36:59,280
Of course you mentioned your son, Cole, he was experiencing all of this with you.

619
00:36:59,280 --> 00:37:03,320
You know, how did you, how did you help him as a mom, as a single mom?

620
00:37:03,320 --> 00:37:05,360
How did you help him navigate through all of this?

621
00:37:05,360 --> 00:37:08,640
Because you know, teen years are so tumultuous.

622
00:37:08,640 --> 00:37:09,640
Yes.

623
00:37:09,640 --> 00:37:17,860
Well, when he was little, all I did was just live the life of Christ before him, not only

624
00:37:17,860 --> 00:37:20,560
just in my words, but in my life.

625
00:37:20,560 --> 00:37:21,560
And that was hard.

626
00:37:21,560 --> 00:37:22,560
You know, it's hard.

627
00:37:22,560 --> 00:37:25,880
I didn't really want to date too much in front of him.

628
00:37:25,880 --> 00:37:31,400
I didn't a lot because I didn't want him to have a skewed vision of, you know, just

629
00:37:31,400 --> 00:37:32,840
why is my mom with all these guys?

630
00:37:32,840 --> 00:37:34,360
You know, not that I was with all these guys.

631
00:37:34,360 --> 00:37:38,480
I'm just saying I, whenever I dated, if I didn't know that this was it, I didn't bring

632
00:37:38,480 --> 00:37:42,880
him around, which meant I didn't bring around a lot of guys to my, around my kids.

633
00:37:42,880 --> 00:37:48,040
And I just told him Bible stories and we would act them out.

634
00:37:48,040 --> 00:37:52,000
And whenever he would have a situation, I said, well, you know, so and so in the Bible,

635
00:37:52,000 --> 00:37:55,640
this is what he did when that happened to him or that this is what she did when that

636
00:37:55,640 --> 00:37:57,240
happened to her.

637
00:37:57,240 --> 00:38:06,000
And just try to make it very like me, just a part of your fabric where there is no question

638
00:38:06,000 --> 00:38:07,920
of who God is.

639
00:38:07,920 --> 00:38:12,160
We have faith in him and we believe in him because he is good.

640
00:38:12,160 --> 00:38:17,680
And so those teenage years though, you know, when you split your time between two parents

641
00:38:17,680 --> 00:38:21,440
and no two households are the same.

642
00:38:21,440 --> 00:38:25,640
And he had friends that I didn't want him to have, but you know, I was in a situation

643
00:38:25,640 --> 00:38:29,520
where he had to go to daycare and he had to go to afterschool care.

644
00:38:29,520 --> 00:38:38,440
And I just did all that I could to teach him and he's going to have to and stop.

645
00:38:38,440 --> 00:38:39,720
I am a helicopter mom.

646
00:38:39,720 --> 00:38:46,440
I know I am, but I had to now that he's 18 transition into this whole other mom that

647
00:38:46,440 --> 00:38:47,440
has to let her son fail.

648
00:38:47,440 --> 00:38:48,440
I don't want you to fail.

649
00:38:48,440 --> 00:38:50,640
You know, I know the answer to that.

650
00:38:50,640 --> 00:38:51,640
Let me help you.

651
00:38:51,640 --> 00:38:56,720
And God's like, you know, so just living the life.

652
00:38:56,720 --> 00:38:58,400
That's a hard phase for all moms.

653
00:38:58,400 --> 00:39:04,360
Yeah, it is their kids watch their kids become adults and make, make mistakes that we know

654
00:39:04,360 --> 00:39:11,120
they're making right in front of our face and, and, and, and not say, I told you so.

655
00:39:11,120 --> 00:39:12,120
Right.

656
00:39:12,120 --> 00:39:13,120
Right.

657
00:39:13,120 --> 00:39:14,120
Yeah.

658
00:39:14,120 --> 00:39:18,280
Well, you know, Cole, isn't the only one who's benefited from the truths that you have to

659
00:39:18,280 --> 00:39:21,440
share the things that you've learned in your life.

660
00:39:21,440 --> 00:39:25,920
God's opened some other doors for you to speak and not the grand ones that, you know, you're

661
00:39:25,920 --> 00:39:31,160
anticipating one day, but little ones, little opportunities to speak truth and encouragement

662
00:39:31,160 --> 00:39:35,400
in the lives of others share about a few of those, because, you know, we don't just step

663
00:39:35,400 --> 00:39:39,960
out onto a stage one day and all of a sudden, we know what to say and minister.

664
00:39:39,960 --> 00:39:47,860
God provides opportunities along the way for us to learn his ways and share them in small

665
00:39:47,860 --> 00:39:50,560
settings and, and he sees if we're faithful.

666
00:39:50,560 --> 00:39:51,560
Exactly.

667
00:39:51,560 --> 00:39:58,000
You know, I always say, well, I say to myself, you've been called to this thing, but don't

668
00:39:58,000 --> 00:40:06,600
have such, don't you put, try to put walls and carpet and window fixings on your, on

669
00:40:06,600 --> 00:40:07,600
your calling.

670
00:40:07,600 --> 00:40:08,600
Let the Lord do that.

671
00:40:08,600 --> 00:40:13,040
So in other words, if it doesn't look like what I thought it would look like, then it's

672
00:40:13,040 --> 00:40:18,680
not really, okay, well, this is not really, you know, that big of a deal, but really anytime

673
00:40:18,680 --> 00:40:25,680
you have a chance to touch somebody's life, we really don't know what all will happen,

674
00:40:25,680 --> 00:40:30,240
you know, and, and some of the places that I've been able to serve is in my current church

675
00:40:30,240 --> 00:40:31,240
with the youth.

676
00:40:31,240 --> 00:40:37,880
Uh, I was asked to, because of my background with inner city, um, ministry in my, in my

677
00:40:37,880 --> 00:40:46,120
twenties, um, I was asked to reach, uh, every year our church has this, uh, day of serving.

678
00:40:46,120 --> 00:40:53,120
And one of their ministries that they work with is this place where it's a stopover between

679
00:40:53,120 --> 00:40:58,600
being in the system, um, the foster care system and being with the family.

680
00:40:58,600 --> 00:41:00,000
Sometimes there's a gap.

681
00:41:00,000 --> 00:41:06,360
And so this nonprofit, um, it's not a Christian, but a lot of Christians do work for them.

682
00:41:06,360 --> 00:41:11,640
And um, they asked me, my church asked me, would you head up this initiative?

683
00:41:11,640 --> 00:41:13,640
And I was like, well, what all does it mean?

684
00:41:13,640 --> 00:41:17,160
And now up to this point, I have not done a lot of ministering at all.

685
00:41:17,160 --> 00:41:23,720
Like I maybe have prayed with some people, but not really had a time to really speak.

686
00:41:23,720 --> 00:41:26,680
And um, I said, okay, I'll do it.

687
00:41:26,680 --> 00:41:30,120
I felt like God said, yes, this is time for you to do this.

688
00:41:30,120 --> 00:41:32,920
And basically these kids came into our church.

689
00:41:32,920 --> 00:41:33,920
We loved on them.

690
00:41:33,920 --> 00:41:39,640
We gave them pizza, had games, and then we had a time of talking and I shared on identity.

691
00:41:39,640 --> 00:41:44,760
And um, God told me to talk about that and it was just so powerful.

692
00:41:44,760 --> 00:41:50,140
And the next Sunday and I don't know where these kids will end up, you know, and I prayed

693
00:41:50,140 --> 00:41:55,040
over them, you know, I wish I could have taken them home with me, but the next Sunday, one

694
00:41:55,040 --> 00:41:59,280
of the adults that were in what, that were some of the helpers, they, he came up to me

695
00:41:59,280 --> 00:42:03,600
and he said, you know, that, that message you spoke was not just for the kids.

696
00:42:03,600 --> 00:42:05,800
There were people in that room that needed to hear what you said.

697
00:42:05,800 --> 00:42:07,800
And I was like, oh, okay, well thanks.

698
00:42:07,800 --> 00:42:12,320
You know, I mean, I didn't, it's hard to say, you know, you don't want to be false and go,

699
00:42:12,320 --> 00:42:13,320
oh, it was all God.

700
00:42:13,320 --> 00:42:19,160
Cause I mean, we have, it was our choice to say, okay, I've been able to do that.

701
00:42:19,160 --> 00:42:25,200
I've prayed with some youth in, um, cause I work with the youth and I was over, we had

702
00:42:25,200 --> 00:42:31,760
a, uh, our youth conference camp type conference and I had a time of just sharing to these

703
00:42:31,760 --> 00:42:38,640
kids that, you know, they live in this world of, they have so many choices for them and

704
00:42:38,640 --> 00:42:41,720
they shouldn't have that many choices because back when we grew up, there weren't that many

705
00:42:41,720 --> 00:42:48,680
choices and now there's just this whole plethora of, of things they have to decide and choose.

706
00:42:48,680 --> 00:42:53,840
And, and, um, so I was just, you know, I had the opportunity to minister to them and wanting

707
00:42:53,840 --> 00:42:58,400
them to know that not everything that happens in their life came from God.

708
00:42:58,400 --> 00:43:03,840
And that's such a huge, I mean, to me, it's no big, I mean, that's a no brainer, but to

709
00:43:03,840 --> 00:43:06,120
the sound, they have no clue.

710
00:43:06,120 --> 00:43:09,280
I have no clue that how, how good God is.

711
00:43:09,280 --> 00:43:13,560
So a new exciting door is opening up for you.

712
00:43:13,560 --> 00:43:17,440
One that run that really fits perfectly with who God created you to be.

713
00:43:17,440 --> 00:43:20,680
And, um, tell us about what you're going to be doing.

714
00:43:20,680 --> 00:43:26,680
So I still work in the, um, if you want to say the secular realm and not the church world,

715
00:43:26,680 --> 00:43:33,440
but, um, I am an executive assistant and I've really, you know, back when God said to sell

716
00:43:33,440 --> 00:43:36,040
your house, this was six years, seven years ago, sell your house.

717
00:43:36,040 --> 00:43:38,220
Cause I want you on a launch pad.

718
00:43:38,220 --> 00:43:42,760
And so I've been in this launch pad waiting and waiting and waiting for God to move me.

719
00:43:42,760 --> 00:43:45,360
And all of a sudden God is moving me.

720
00:43:45,360 --> 00:43:50,920
I've had this crazy dream of wanting to live in an RV and not just a camper.

721
00:43:50,920 --> 00:43:51,920
I don't want to live in a camper.

722
00:43:51,920 --> 00:43:53,360
I want to live in a nice RV.

723
00:43:53,360 --> 00:43:59,240
So I've liked this RVs are nicer than my house and I live in a pretty nice house and I'm

724
00:43:59,240 --> 00:44:00,240
just so excited.

725
00:44:00,240 --> 00:44:01,880
I'm going to be working for my cousin.

726
00:44:01,880 --> 00:44:07,100
I'm just being his personal assistant, helping out his wife because he is the owner of his

727
00:44:07,100 --> 00:44:10,040
company and he's never had an executive assistant.

728
00:44:10,040 --> 00:44:15,720
So I'm going to be working for them and traveling, which I love and meeting new people.

729
00:44:15,720 --> 00:44:21,320
We've even talked about with a different RV parks that we go into having a Bible study.

730
00:44:21,320 --> 00:44:23,520
And I'm excited about that.

731
00:44:23,520 --> 00:44:29,680
And just seeing what God, what doors God, God opens up in the big world, you know, world.

732
00:44:29,680 --> 00:44:35,920
And I'm going to Florida first and then we head to Alaska, which I'm very excited about.

733
00:44:35,920 --> 00:44:40,520
I'll live there for half of the year and other half the year in an RV traveling.

734
00:44:40,520 --> 00:44:41,720
And so I'm very excited.

735
00:44:41,720 --> 00:44:46,840
I don't know what God has in store, but I feel like it's definitely a new season.

736
00:44:46,840 --> 00:44:48,600
That just fits who you are.

737
00:44:48,600 --> 00:44:53,720
Not everybody would dream of living in an RV for a time, but you know, for you, that's

738
00:44:53,720 --> 00:44:57,360
something that you grew up camping and it's a delight to you.

739
00:44:57,360 --> 00:45:00,680
And God knows that God knows the delights of our heart.

740
00:45:00,680 --> 00:45:06,260
And he, you know, in a verse in Isaiah, I believe it is an Isaiah, it says he directs

741
00:45:06,260 --> 00:45:09,760
the steps of the righteous and delights in every detail of their lives.

742
00:45:09,760 --> 00:45:10,760
Yes.

743
00:45:10,760 --> 00:45:15,120
Angela, as you look back over your life, is there a key truth that you want others to

744
00:45:15,120 --> 00:45:18,600
know and experience through the ups and the downs?

745
00:45:18,600 --> 00:45:20,400
I wrote it down this morning.

746
00:45:20,400 --> 00:45:27,360
And if I could say it in one phrase, I would say what looks like rejection is oftentimes

747
00:45:27,360 --> 00:45:29,680
protection.

748
00:45:29,680 --> 00:45:32,040
What looks like an unanswered prayer.

749
00:45:32,040 --> 00:45:33,960
I didn't get the scholarship.

750
00:45:33,960 --> 00:45:36,360
I'm not going to get that job.

751
00:45:36,360 --> 00:45:38,960
That marriage fell apart.

752
00:45:38,960 --> 00:45:40,760
My car broke down.

753
00:45:40,760 --> 00:45:42,160
What's happening?

754
00:45:42,160 --> 00:45:43,560
God's moving me here.

755
00:45:43,560 --> 00:45:50,520
What I, you know, what looks like rejection in your life can all always be an opportunity

756
00:45:50,520 --> 00:45:52,560
for God to protect you.

757
00:45:52,560 --> 00:45:59,440
And so if you look at it through that lens, oh my goodness, it frees you up of, of having

758
00:45:59,440 --> 00:46:06,120
to be negative and having to be on guard like that, that, that fight or flight, you know,

759
00:46:06,120 --> 00:46:08,000
God doesn't want us to live like that.

760
00:46:08,000 --> 00:46:12,620
He literally says, cast your burden on me.

761
00:46:12,620 --> 00:46:14,680
And I've heard that a gazillion times.

762
00:46:14,680 --> 00:46:21,160
I've been in a music, a musical in our church when, when I was a kid about, you know, not

763
00:46:21,160 --> 00:46:26,040
carrying the backpack of all your, of all your sin and all your stuff on your shoulders.

764
00:46:26,040 --> 00:46:27,040
Give it to the Lord.

765
00:46:27,040 --> 00:46:28,040
Give it to the Lord.

766
00:46:28,040 --> 00:46:29,040
And it's so easy.

767
00:46:29,040 --> 00:46:31,600
It's like a little, you know, Oh, give it to the Lord.

768
00:46:31,600 --> 00:46:33,120
Cause God's great.

769
00:46:33,120 --> 00:46:39,000
But yet here I am in my life and I'm drowning in quicksand and you know, getting down into

770
00:46:39,000 --> 00:46:40,320
the guts of it.

771
00:46:40,320 --> 00:46:41,320
Yes.

772
00:46:41,320 --> 00:46:44,040
God is down there with you in the guts of it.

773
00:46:44,040 --> 00:46:49,360
And don't always look negatively about a mishap in your life.

774
00:46:49,360 --> 00:46:51,360
Think, okay, Lord, what did you prove?

775
00:46:51,360 --> 00:46:53,140
What did you protect me from?

776
00:46:53,140 --> 00:46:54,140
What could have happened?

777
00:46:54,140 --> 00:46:57,600
You know, it's always like, I should have made that light.

778
00:46:57,600 --> 00:47:00,240
Well, what, what, what, what would have happened if you made that light?

779
00:47:00,240 --> 00:47:04,560
Could there have been, and I'm not saying you look around for every corner for, Oh,

780
00:47:04,560 --> 00:47:05,560
what's happening?

781
00:47:05,560 --> 00:47:10,600
You know, it just frees you up to not think of missed ideas like that fear of missing

782
00:47:10,600 --> 00:47:14,000
out the fear of not being relevant.

783
00:47:14,000 --> 00:47:20,800
Cause I mean, I'm 55 now, I'm still single and am I still relevant?

784
00:47:20,800 --> 00:47:24,400
Am I still, do I still have something to say?

785
00:47:24,400 --> 00:47:25,760
Have I missed my opportunity?

786
00:47:25,760 --> 00:47:27,560
Have I missed out?

787
00:47:27,560 --> 00:47:32,400
And I just feel like God said no, because God's way of preparing us for what he has

788
00:47:32,400 --> 00:47:33,400
us to do.

789
00:47:33,400 --> 00:47:39,560
I call it God's university is so backwards from the way the world does it.

790
00:47:39,560 --> 00:47:44,360
The world, man, you get a scholarship, you're on your social media.

791
00:47:44,360 --> 00:47:48,800
The parents are taking pictures, you get the scholarship, you're in the news, you're doing

792
00:47:48,800 --> 00:47:54,600
this, you make good grades, you graduate, whoo, you get the job, you're on the plaque,

793
00:47:54,600 --> 00:47:58,360
you know, and that's the way man does it.

794
00:47:58,360 --> 00:48:05,800
But God, when he wants to get us ready for what he has for us to do in life, he takes

795
00:48:05,800 --> 00:48:09,080
you to the wilderness and you're by yourself.

796
00:48:09,080 --> 00:48:10,760
You're like, Whoa, what's going on?

797
00:48:10,760 --> 00:48:15,040
What happened to my, I want my picture in the, you know, no, you're by yourself and

798
00:48:15,040 --> 00:48:18,120
you're not just, and you're not posting a lot of social media because your life doesn't

799
00:48:18,120 --> 00:48:21,280
look that great, you know, cause you're in the wilderness.

800
00:48:21,280 --> 00:48:27,600
But God in his mercy and all knowingness and his kindness, thank you Lord.

801
00:48:27,600 --> 00:48:32,200
He doesn't know what answer always, he doesn't always answer our prayers the way we think

802
00:48:32,200 --> 00:48:34,880
we should because his ways are higher than ours.

803
00:48:34,880 --> 00:48:36,600
And thank goodness for that.

804
00:48:36,600 --> 00:48:41,640
But just remember that when God takes you into the wilderness, he doesn't leave you

805
00:48:41,640 --> 00:48:42,640
there.

806
00:48:42,640 --> 00:48:43,720
He doesn't leave you there.

807
00:48:43,720 --> 00:48:46,540
He didn't leave God that he didn't leave his own son there.

808
00:48:46,540 --> 00:48:51,240
He didn't leave the prophets there when he took them out and all the men in the Bible,

809
00:48:51,240 --> 00:48:55,680
the women in the Bible, they, even Jesus had their time of isolation.

810
00:48:55,680 --> 00:49:00,240
And it's in those times and I could preach a whole thing on that.

811
00:49:00,240 --> 00:49:01,680
Oh my goodness.

812
00:49:01,680 --> 00:49:06,040
But God gets rid of our, all of our distractions of who we think we are.

813
00:49:06,040 --> 00:49:08,280
And there was a time that I was into people magazine.

814
00:49:08,280 --> 00:49:12,680
God said, do not read that anymore because you're comparing your life to them and you're

815
00:49:12,680 --> 00:49:16,020
coming up short and your life isn't short.

816
00:49:16,020 --> 00:49:17,560
Your life is full.

817
00:49:17,560 --> 00:49:23,320
And if you keep seeing what's happening in Hollywood or in Nashville or on instant, you

818
00:49:23,320 --> 00:49:27,520
know, on all your instas and your Facebook and seeing everybody else's life, you're going

819
00:49:27,520 --> 00:49:29,360
to feel you're going to come up.

820
00:49:29,360 --> 00:49:30,440
I missed out.

821
00:49:30,440 --> 00:49:35,520
I'm not relevant anymore, but no, that's God protecting you and he's getting you ready.

822
00:49:35,520 --> 00:49:36,520
Yeah.

823
00:49:36,520 --> 00:49:42,400
That's a good word because we, all the social media stuff is fake anyway.

824
00:49:42,400 --> 00:49:43,400
You know, a lot.

825
00:49:43,400 --> 00:49:52,000
I mean, you, you hear often of big stars that look like they have it all together, end up

826
00:49:52,000 --> 00:49:59,240
with massive addictions, multiple divorces, you know, they're not happy in life and you

827
00:49:59,240 --> 00:50:06,040
know, it's all veneer, but with God in the midst of our desert, he doesn't leave us.

828
00:50:06,040 --> 00:50:08,240
He's always with us.

829
00:50:08,240 --> 00:50:13,200
We can feel alone until we turn and see him.

830
00:50:13,200 --> 00:50:15,640
And then we know we've never been alone.

831
00:50:15,640 --> 00:50:22,160
Angela, as we close, share about a woman of the Bible who's inspired or encouraged or

832
00:50:22,160 --> 00:50:23,160
taught you something.

833
00:50:23,160 --> 00:50:25,420
Well, there's so many.

834
00:50:25,420 --> 00:50:31,040
But the one, when I asked God, God, who is it that you want me to talk about today?

835
00:50:31,040 --> 00:50:36,400
I felt like God said Hannah in the book of Samuel, you know, she was one of the one of

836
00:50:36,400 --> 00:50:41,240
two wives of this guy, which right that right there in itself.

837
00:50:41,240 --> 00:50:43,880
I mean, talk about feeling insecure.

838
00:50:43,880 --> 00:50:48,800
He has two wives in which, you know, you have this battle for his attention and all this.

839
00:50:48,800 --> 00:50:49,800
I can't even imagine.

840
00:50:49,800 --> 00:50:57,560
But anyways, just being one wife is hard, but he was one of two wives and she was barren.

841
00:50:57,560 --> 00:51:04,080
And she back in her day, you know, children were a clear sign of God's blessing.

842
00:51:04,080 --> 00:51:06,100
So here she is, no children.

843
00:51:06,100 --> 00:51:12,200
The other wife is hackling her and making fun of her and ridiculing her.

844
00:51:12,200 --> 00:51:16,600
So daily she has this God's not blessing me.

845
00:51:16,600 --> 00:51:17,600
I'm a failure.

846
00:51:17,600 --> 00:51:21,240
I mean, that's all she's hearing from her surroundings.

847
00:51:21,240 --> 00:51:24,400
And now her husband really loves her.

848
00:51:24,400 --> 00:51:27,200
But his love is not big enough to solve this problem.

849
00:51:27,200 --> 00:51:31,040
And that's so true in marriage, you know, you may love that person, but it's not going

850
00:51:31,040 --> 00:51:33,320
to solve the problem.

851
00:51:33,320 --> 00:51:40,360
And they would take these yearly pilgrimages to this town called Shiloh and they would

852
00:51:40,360 --> 00:51:41,680
offer sacrifices.

853
00:51:41,680 --> 00:51:48,520
And when she was there one time, she was in such distress that the, I think it was Eli,

854
00:51:48,520 --> 00:51:53,400
he said, I think she's drunk because she is not even like she's, she's kind of mumbling

855
00:51:53,400 --> 00:51:57,160
and she's saying all these prayers, but she was in such grief because she did not have

856
00:51:57,160 --> 00:52:03,160
a child and she wanted to be, she wanted God's blessing on her life.

857
00:52:03,160 --> 00:52:06,840
And she wanted to be seen as being blessed.

858
00:52:06,840 --> 00:52:14,440
And Eli heard this vow she made and he said, are you drunk?

859
00:52:14,440 --> 00:52:17,280
And she said, no, no, here's what's the, here's the deal, dude.

860
00:52:17,280 --> 00:52:19,400
I mean, this is my interpretation.

861
00:52:19,400 --> 00:52:20,480
I am barren.

862
00:52:20,480 --> 00:52:21,720
I want God's blessing.

863
00:52:21,720 --> 00:52:22,720
I so want a child.

864
00:52:22,720 --> 00:52:25,360
I love my husband and I'm, you know, blah, blah, blah.

865
00:52:25,360 --> 00:52:32,960
And God heard that her husband was kind enough to let her do what she had vowed.

866
00:52:32,960 --> 00:52:38,920
And his faithfulness in the Lord allowed her to be faithful because I mean, he could have

867
00:52:38,920 --> 00:52:40,920
at any time said, nope, you're not doing that.

868
00:52:40,920 --> 00:52:46,480
Cause back then a woman was his property, but she finally had a son, his firstborn son

869
00:52:46,480 --> 00:52:47,960
from her.

870
00:52:47,960 --> 00:52:53,040
And she follows through with her valve saying, if you give me a son, I'll give it back to

871
00:52:53,040 --> 00:52:54,040
you.

872
00:52:54,040 --> 00:52:58,120
And sure enough, she did this and God not only blessed her with that, but gave her three

873
00:52:58,120 --> 00:53:00,520
more sons and two more daughters.

874
00:53:00,520 --> 00:53:05,920
This kid, this promised child, he went on to be, you know, the, the, the big voice in

875
00:53:05,920 --> 00:53:07,840
Saul's life and in David's life.

876
00:53:07,840 --> 00:53:10,200
He anointed them both King.

877
00:53:10,200 --> 00:53:17,560
And she literally was in the, could have been in the dumps, you know, she could have raised

878
00:53:17,560 --> 00:53:22,000
her fist up and said, God, why have you done this to me?

879
00:53:22,000 --> 00:53:28,000
And instead she said, God, if you bless me, here's what I will do.

880
00:53:28,000 --> 00:53:30,120
Her whole perspective was changed.

881
00:53:30,120 --> 00:53:37,240
She did not, you know, we don't hear a lot about her daily life, but I mean, I'm here

882
00:53:37,240 --> 00:53:42,680
picture, you know, women back there were a piece of property and they did a lot of work

883
00:53:42,680 --> 00:53:46,560
and they kept the home and they made the food and all these things.

884
00:53:46,560 --> 00:53:54,880
And she never once raised her fist that I know of to God and said, God, you know, I'm

885
00:53:54,880 --> 00:53:57,200
sure she at times said, where are you Lord?

886
00:53:57,200 --> 00:53:58,200
Here I am.

887
00:53:58,200 --> 00:53:59,640
What's going on God?

888
00:53:59,640 --> 00:54:06,320
But when she had her time to be in the temple, she said, God, if you give me this, I will

889
00:54:06,320 --> 00:54:07,720
give him back to you.

890
00:54:07,720 --> 00:54:09,680
I will bless you, praise you, all this.

891
00:54:09,680 --> 00:54:12,240
And God, and God does it for her.

892
00:54:12,240 --> 00:54:19,640
And that is like so incredible to me to say, I need to change my perspective.

893
00:54:19,640 --> 00:54:22,640
I'm not going to be down in the dumps.

894
00:54:22,640 --> 00:54:24,640
And the Lord reminded me of something.

895
00:54:24,640 --> 00:54:30,840
And I believe there's some women and men out there today that are you're in a, I just really

896
00:54:30,840 --> 00:54:35,060
feel like you're literally in a corner.

897
00:54:35,060 --> 00:54:41,880
You don't see anything but the wallpaper in front of you and you don't know how it's going

898
00:54:41,880 --> 00:54:42,880
to work out.

899
00:54:42,880 --> 00:54:44,880
Like there's literally no door.

900
00:54:44,880 --> 00:54:46,640
There's no window.

901
00:54:46,640 --> 00:54:47,640
You're in a corner.

902
00:54:47,640 --> 00:54:50,000
And this is what I wanted to read.

903
00:54:50,000 --> 00:54:52,640
If it's okay, I could read the scripture.

904
00:54:52,640 --> 00:54:55,920
It comes from Lamentations and I'm going to read it out of the message Bible.

905
00:54:55,920 --> 00:54:56,920
Yeah, go ahead.

906
00:54:56,920 --> 00:55:00,040
And it said, he ground my face into the gravel.

907
00:55:00,040 --> 00:55:01,600
He pounded me into the mud.

908
00:55:01,600 --> 00:55:03,800
I gave up on life altogether.

909
00:55:03,800 --> 00:55:07,720
I don't know about you, but I have definitely felt like I've been grounded, you know, I've

910
00:55:07,720 --> 00:55:11,400
been grounded into the mud and felt like I was in the gravel.

911
00:55:11,400 --> 00:55:14,080
And it said, I've forgotten what the good life is like.

912
00:55:14,080 --> 00:55:15,640
And I said to myself, that's it.

913
00:55:15,640 --> 00:55:16,640
I'm finished.

914
00:55:16,640 --> 00:55:18,400
God is a lost cause.

915
00:55:18,400 --> 00:55:25,040
I'll never forget the trouble, the utter lostness, the taste of ashes, the poison I've swallowed.

916
00:55:25,040 --> 00:55:26,520
I remember it all.

917
00:55:26,520 --> 00:55:30,720
Oh, how I remember it well, the feeling of hitting bottom.

918
00:55:30,720 --> 00:55:34,200
But there is one thing I remember and I keep remembering.

919
00:55:34,200 --> 00:55:36,400
I keep a grip on hope.

920
00:55:36,400 --> 00:55:41,180
God's loyal love could not have run out and his merciful love could not have dried up.

921
00:55:41,180 --> 00:55:44,260
They are created new every morning.

922
00:55:44,260 --> 00:55:46,120
How great is your faithfulness?

923
00:55:46,120 --> 00:55:48,840
I'm sticking with God and I'll say it over and over.

924
00:55:48,840 --> 00:55:50,680
He's all I've got left.

925
00:55:50,680 --> 00:55:56,480
God proves to be good to the man who patiently waits, or excuse me, passionately waits, and

926
00:55:56,480 --> 00:55:59,760
to the woman who diligently seeks.

927
00:55:59,760 --> 00:56:04,320
It is a good thing to quietly hope, quietly hope for help from God.

928
00:56:04,320 --> 00:56:07,920
It's a good thing when you're young to stick it out through the hard times, when life is

929
00:56:07,920 --> 00:56:12,400
heavy and it's hard to go on and you enter the silence, bow in prayer.

930
00:56:12,400 --> 00:56:13,920
Don't ask the questions.

931
00:56:13,920 --> 00:56:15,420
Wait for hope to appear.

932
00:56:15,420 --> 00:56:16,800
Don't run from trouble.

933
00:56:16,800 --> 00:56:18,560
Take it full face.

934
00:56:18,560 --> 00:56:20,840
The worst is never the worst.

935
00:56:20,840 --> 00:56:22,480
And here's the key.

936
00:56:22,480 --> 00:56:23,480
Why?

937
00:56:23,480 --> 00:56:28,480
Because God's stockpiles of love, his loyal love are immense.

938
00:56:28,480 --> 00:56:32,760
He takes no pleasure in making life hard and throwing roadblocks in the way.

939
00:56:32,760 --> 00:56:37,440
And I really believe today that there is someone out there that is saying, I literally am at

940
00:56:37,440 --> 00:56:38,920
the end of the end.

941
00:56:38,920 --> 00:56:40,880
My face is pounded into the gravel.

942
00:56:40,880 --> 00:56:42,360
I'm covered in mud.

943
00:56:42,360 --> 00:56:44,080
I don't know what I'm going to do.

944
00:56:44,080 --> 00:56:45,080
That's it.

945
00:56:45,080 --> 00:56:47,560
It's a lost cause.

946
00:56:47,560 --> 00:56:49,840
And here's what you need to remember.

947
00:56:49,840 --> 00:56:54,200
If you feel like you're at the bottom, you're never really at the bottom.

948
00:56:54,200 --> 00:56:59,840
You're never really there because God's loyal love never forgets.

949
00:56:59,840 --> 00:57:01,800
He never runs out of love.

950
00:57:01,800 --> 00:57:03,280
He is there with you.

951
00:57:03,280 --> 00:57:09,700
And when you, and when you can take off your glasses of hopelessness and put the glasses

952
00:57:09,700 --> 00:57:16,600
of hope on, you will then see, you know, like back in the day when you wore the special

953
00:57:16,600 --> 00:57:19,840
glasses and you could see the hidden words, you know, in what you were reading.

954
00:57:19,840 --> 00:57:25,240
And it was like this, this, this game of clue or whatever.

955
00:57:25,240 --> 00:57:29,300
And you put the special glasses on, you can see, oh, that's the next clue.

956
00:57:29,300 --> 00:57:35,320
When we put on the glasses of hope and we take out the world out of our ears and we,

957
00:57:35,320 --> 00:57:38,680
and we get in God's presence, he will meet us.

958
00:57:38,680 --> 00:57:41,880
He always provides a way out and it is crazy how he does it.

959
00:57:41,880 --> 00:57:43,960
I'm like, how did you know that God had it?

960
00:57:43,960 --> 00:57:44,960
Okay.

961
00:57:44,960 --> 00:57:45,960
Yeah.

962
00:57:45,960 --> 00:57:46,960
You are God.

963
00:57:46,960 --> 00:57:47,960
You're right.

964
00:57:47,960 --> 00:57:49,760
But we should not run from trouble.

965
00:57:49,760 --> 00:57:55,240
We should just, okay, God, you've led me here or my, my circumstances have led me here.

966
00:57:55,240 --> 00:57:57,000
I made horrible choices.

967
00:57:57,000 --> 00:57:58,360
Here I am.

968
00:57:58,360 --> 00:58:04,280
I'm homeless or I just lost my job or whatever, wherever you are in life.

969
00:58:04,280 --> 00:58:05,780
Hold on to hope.

970
00:58:05,780 --> 00:58:07,100
God is still God.

971
00:58:07,100 --> 00:58:08,100
He still sees you.

972
00:58:08,100 --> 00:58:09,880
He's still interested in you.

973
00:58:09,880 --> 00:58:11,400
He still has a plan for you.

974
00:58:11,400 --> 00:58:13,460
You haven't blown it.

975
00:58:13,460 --> 00:58:17,840
There's some denominations and religions that say once you blow the plan, that's it.

976
00:58:17,840 --> 00:58:19,800
You're now a second class citizen.

977
00:58:19,800 --> 00:58:22,680
You can go serve in the nursery, but you're done.

978
00:58:22,680 --> 00:58:23,680
You have no life left.

979
00:58:23,680 --> 00:58:28,600
And that's so baloney because God gives us new things and his mercies are new every morning,

980
00:58:28,600 --> 00:58:31,640
which means he creates new every morning.

981
00:58:31,640 --> 00:58:32,800
And you're not done.

982
00:58:32,800 --> 00:58:33,800
You're not lost.

983
00:58:33,800 --> 00:58:34,800
You're not at the bottom.

984
00:58:34,800 --> 00:58:35,800
God is there.

985
00:58:35,800 --> 00:58:41,040
You know, Ephesians one verses seven and eight in the new living translation explains God

986
00:58:41,040 --> 00:58:49,960
is so rich in kindness and in grace that he purchased our freedom with the blood of Jesus

987
00:58:49,960 --> 00:58:52,000
and forgave our sins.

988
00:58:52,000 --> 00:58:57,080
He has showered his kindness on us along with all wisdom and understanding.

989
00:58:57,080 --> 00:59:02,560
Dear listener, if you have believed that God raised Jesus from the dead and confessed Jesus

990
00:59:02,560 --> 00:59:06,140
is Lord, then you are free to be all God created you to be.

991
00:59:06,140 --> 00:59:08,640
You're free from the bondage of sin.

992
00:59:08,640 --> 00:59:13,620
And when you repent of past mistakes, you're free from those like Angela.

993
00:59:13,620 --> 00:59:14,620
God wipes them out.

994
00:59:14,620 --> 00:59:18,200
Satan can't hound you with him again.

995
00:59:18,200 --> 00:59:23,180
Don't get entangled once again in bondage to your past mistakes.

996
00:59:23,180 --> 00:59:25,560
Repent of them for sure.

997
00:59:25,560 --> 00:59:27,160
Don't just say, okay, God, here I am.

998
00:59:27,160 --> 00:59:28,760
Take me as I am.

999
00:59:28,760 --> 00:59:35,280
Repent, turn and do what is right in his sight and don't get entangled by the bondages of

1000
00:59:35,280 --> 00:59:36,280
the past.

1001
00:59:36,280 --> 00:59:39,600
Angela, would you take a moment and pray for our listeners?

1002
00:59:39,600 --> 00:59:43,640
You know, another thing when you were saying that it's all about your heart posture and

1003
00:59:43,640 --> 00:59:46,720
where your heart, what your heart motive is.

1004
00:59:46,720 --> 00:59:50,560
And God sees that and he does not give up on us.

1005
00:59:50,560 --> 00:59:51,560
So let's pray.

1006
00:59:51,560 --> 00:59:57,880
Lord, I thank you for this opportunity for us to come together in this, in this way of

1007
00:59:57,880 --> 00:59:59,200
sharing with one another.

1008
00:59:59,200 --> 01:00:02,640
God, you are so good and you are so amazing.

1009
01:00:02,640 --> 01:00:04,960
And God, I don't want to ever take you for granted.

1010
01:00:04,960 --> 01:00:08,260
And Lord, I know there's people out there listening right now that feel like, especially

1011
01:00:08,260 --> 01:00:14,320
during this time of year, they just feel like they are alone and they have nothing and they

1012
01:00:14,320 --> 01:00:19,120
look around and see everyone else having this glorious life and they feel lacking and they

1013
01:00:19,120 --> 01:00:21,800
feel like you've given up on them.

1014
01:00:21,800 --> 01:00:27,800
Lord, I pray today that they would have the courage to take off the glasses of hopelessness

1015
01:00:27,800 --> 01:00:34,680
and take off the glasses of judgment and take off the glasses of feeling inadequate.

1016
01:00:34,680 --> 01:00:42,120
And God, that we would put on your glasses that say there is, there's always a way out.

1017
01:00:42,120 --> 01:00:45,180
God, you are the God of the fatherless.

1018
01:00:45,180 --> 01:00:48,240
You are the husband to the, to the, to the widow.

1019
01:00:48,240 --> 01:00:49,920
Lord, you are with us.

1020
01:00:49,920 --> 01:00:51,840
God, you have never left us.

1021
01:00:51,840 --> 01:00:54,020
You invested so much.

1022
01:00:54,020 --> 01:00:58,160
You paid such a heavy price for us to be in right relationship with you.

1023
01:00:58,160 --> 01:01:00,800
You don't want anything to be coming in between us.

1024
01:01:00,800 --> 01:01:05,920
Lord, that's why you sent your son, Jesus, because you did not want anything to be in

1025
01:01:05,920 --> 01:01:10,040
between me and you, us and you.

1026
01:01:10,040 --> 01:01:17,960
And God, I pray for those that are, that are lonely, that are feeling anxiety and depression

1027
01:01:17,960 --> 01:01:22,640
and all of the things that the enemy tries to, to throw at us, inadequacies.

1028
01:01:22,640 --> 01:01:25,040
And I don't know how I'm going to make it.

1029
01:01:25,040 --> 01:01:30,580
God, I pray today for those individuals right now that they would just reach up and touch

1030
01:01:30,580 --> 01:01:31,920
the head of your garment.

1031
01:01:31,920 --> 01:01:37,880
Lord, let them have the faith and know that you were either God or you're not, Lord.

1032
01:01:37,880 --> 01:01:42,000
And if they have to even just take on my story and say, you did it for her.

1033
01:01:42,000 --> 01:01:43,760
God, I know you can do it for me.

1034
01:01:43,760 --> 01:01:46,160
And Lord, I've done that for, for many years.

1035
01:01:46,160 --> 01:01:48,120
I've said, you've done it this way, God, I don't know.

1036
01:01:48,120 --> 01:01:49,720
You can do it again.

1037
01:01:49,720 --> 01:01:55,960
And Lord, you are such a creative God and you can create new things for us.

1038
01:01:55,960 --> 01:02:00,200
And just because we blow it, our life is not over.

1039
01:02:00,200 --> 01:02:03,080
There is so much more living to do.

1040
01:02:03,080 --> 01:02:08,560
And God, you, you desire a relationship and a friendship with us and God today, I ask

1041
01:02:08,560 --> 01:02:12,080
that you would reach down and let them feel the hug.

1042
01:02:12,080 --> 01:02:14,600
Let them feel the warmth of your presence, Lord.

1043
01:02:14,600 --> 01:02:19,880
Give them strategic ideas on how to get out of the mess that they're in.

1044
01:02:19,880 --> 01:02:27,360
God, bring people into their lives that can minister to them and to be a, a, a voice of,

1045
01:02:27,360 --> 01:02:32,120
um, of hope and, um, God, that you're around the corner.

1046
01:02:32,120 --> 01:02:34,320
You're going to, you've already gone before us, Lord.

1047
01:02:34,320 --> 01:02:35,320
You're there.

1048
01:02:35,320 --> 01:02:40,220
You see us, you walk with us and God, when we blow it, you don't just flick us off like

1049
01:02:40,220 --> 01:02:45,680
a flea, but God, you are like the dad who waited for the son to return.

1050
01:02:45,680 --> 01:02:50,640
You run out and meet us and you, and you hug us, God, no matter what we look like.

1051
01:02:50,640 --> 01:02:51,980
And you say, I love you.

1052
01:02:51,980 --> 01:02:52,980
It's going to be okay.

1053
01:02:52,980 --> 01:02:57,800
Lord, help us to have the courage to be obedient to what you say and what you want us to do,

1054
01:02:57,800 --> 01:02:58,800
Lord.

1055
01:02:58,800 --> 01:03:03,160
And let us never forget God, the great sacrifice that you made for us, Lord.

1056
01:03:03,160 --> 01:03:06,880
And in you, we have hope and we have a future, Lord.

1057
01:03:06,880 --> 01:03:13,280
And I thank you God for just leading me through these years and never letting me go and never,

1058
01:03:13,280 --> 01:03:19,240
and never feel, I never felt like I didn't have like that, um, that safety net below

1059
01:03:19,240 --> 01:03:20,240
me, God.

1060
01:03:20,240 --> 01:03:24,800
I, and even though sometimes I felt it was all like about to fall apart, God, you still

1061
01:03:24,800 --> 01:03:26,320
held me and I thank you for that.

1062
01:03:26,320 --> 01:03:29,840
You want to let my story be an encouragement to someone today.

1063
01:03:29,840 --> 01:03:31,940
In Jesus name, amen.

1064
01:03:31,940 --> 01:03:33,360
Thank you for tuning in.

1065
01:03:33,360 --> 01:03:37,840
In our show notes at her God story.org, you will find scriptures and other information

1066
01:03:37,840 --> 01:03:39,120
we talked about.

1067
01:03:39,120 --> 01:03:43,720
And don't forget to sign up for our emails and then you'll get a six week devotional

1068
01:03:43,720 --> 01:03:47,880
on women of the Bible that you can download for free, or you may want to purchase a 12

1069
01:03:47,880 --> 01:03:50,840
week devotional that will send you for just $12.

1070
01:03:50,840 --> 01:03:54,840
And you'll know that all the proceeds will go to our widow and orphan fund.

1071
01:03:54,840 --> 01:03:58,840
And if you'd like to join our growing company of women helping widows and orphans, just

1072
01:03:58,840 --> 01:04:03,440
click on the widow and orphan tab at the top of the her God story.org page.

1073
01:04:03,440 --> 01:04:06,160
And together we can do so much.

1074
01:04:06,160 --> 01:04:09,920
We'd love to pray with you on our 24 seven prayer and text line.

1075
01:04:09,920 --> 01:04:14,720
Give us a call anytime at eight five five four five nine care, or email us at prayer

1076
01:04:14,720 --> 01:04:17,000
at somebody cares.org.

1077
01:04:17,000 --> 01:04:21,960
And now dear friends, I bless you with Romans 15 12.

1078
01:04:21,960 --> 01:04:28,640
May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him.

1079
01:04:28,640 --> 01:04:33,200
So that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.

1080
01:04:33,200 --> 01:04:37,880
Her God story is a ministry of somebody cares America and international to find out more

1081
01:04:37,880 --> 01:04:39,360
about or support the ministry.

1082
01:04:39,360 --> 01:04:59,520
Go to somebody cares.org.