Hungry to Know God, Brooke Martin’s Story

1
00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:05,120
Hey friends, welcome to Her God's Story podcast, where you will always hear a good story to

2
00:00:05,120 --> 00:00:08,160
encourage and inspire you in your walk with the Lord.

3
00:00:08,160 --> 00:00:12,840
I'm your host, Jodie Chiricosta, ministry leader at Somebody Cares America and international

4
00:00:12,840 --> 00:00:16,120
author and traveler on this journey with Jesus.

5
00:00:16,120 --> 00:00:21,120
Did you know that you can download a free six week devotional on women of the Bible

6
00:00:21,120 --> 00:00:23,600
at hergodstory.org?

7
00:00:23,600 --> 00:00:29,100
We are confident that God will use it to minister to you in so many ways.

8
00:00:29,100 --> 00:00:33,560
We also have a 12 week devotional on women of the Bible that you can purchase for just

9
00:00:33,560 --> 00:00:38,560
$12, knowing that all the proceeds will go to our widow and orphan fund.

10
00:00:38,560 --> 00:00:40,180
So check them out.

11
00:00:40,180 --> 00:00:44,840
And I have a favor to ask you, would you rate this podcast on your favorite streaming platform

12
00:00:44,840 --> 00:00:48,500
or just click rate the show in our episode description?

13
00:00:48,500 --> 00:00:51,740
That will help others find this podcast too.

14
00:00:51,740 --> 00:00:56,800
You know, we all want to be comfortable and joyful in life, don't we?

15
00:00:56,800 --> 00:01:00,640
One that's filled with peace, fulfillment, good relationships.

16
00:01:00,640 --> 00:01:07,520
We want it so much that often we will not step into all God has for us because we're

17
00:01:07,520 --> 00:01:09,400
comfortable with the way things are.

18
00:01:09,400 --> 00:01:16,200
So God in His infinite mercy and wisdom allows us to move through seasons of discomfort and

19
00:01:16,200 --> 00:01:21,920
sometimes even great pain and suffering so that we will see more clearly that what we

20
00:01:21,920 --> 00:01:26,400
really need for the best life is more of Him.

21
00:01:26,400 --> 00:01:32,480
It seems contrary to human reason and it is, but God tells us in Isaiah 55 verses eight

22
00:01:32,480 --> 00:01:35,920
and nine that His ways are not our ways.

23
00:01:35,920 --> 00:01:38,400
His thoughts are not our thoughts.

24
00:01:38,400 --> 00:01:44,060
As far as the heavens are above the earth, that is how much higher His thoughts and ways

25
00:01:44,060 --> 00:01:46,540
are above ours.

26
00:01:46,540 --> 00:01:50,880
In His book, Walking with God Through Pain and Suffering, Tim Keller wrote, you don't

27
00:01:50,880 --> 00:01:57,260
really know Jesus is all you need until Jesus is all you have.

28
00:01:57,260 --> 00:02:03,560
That can be a terrifying thought unless Tim Keller, as Tim Keller also says, you are certain

29
00:02:03,560 --> 00:02:07,200
that God is for you and with you.

30
00:02:07,200 --> 00:02:11,800
Above everything else, I want you to know that today.

31
00:02:11,800 --> 00:02:13,940
God is for you.

32
00:02:13,940 --> 00:02:16,200
He is with you.

33
00:02:16,200 --> 00:02:22,040
When we have that certainty, we can be a light in the darkness for others to see Jesus.

34
00:02:22,040 --> 00:02:25,520
My guest, Brooke Martin, knows that.

35
00:02:25,520 --> 00:02:30,960
She has experienced the gracious mercy and power of God through very trying times.

36
00:02:30,960 --> 00:02:35,440
For many years, Brooke was a reporter and then news anchor in Macon, Georgia, Wichita,

37
00:02:35,440 --> 00:02:37,880
Kansas, and Indianapolis, Indiana.

38
00:02:37,880 --> 00:02:42,520
But after a season of very public pain and sorrow, the Lord called her away from that

39
00:02:42,520 --> 00:02:46,400
career to minister hope to others who are suffering.

40
00:02:46,400 --> 00:02:51,800
A wife and mother, Brooke recently wrote a book, Controlled Burn, Rising from the Ashes

41
00:02:51,800 --> 00:02:56,880
to Forge an Unshakeable Faith, which is being released this week.

42
00:02:56,880 --> 00:03:00,040
You will be able to find it wherever you buy your books.

43
00:03:00,040 --> 00:03:02,640
We also have a link in our show notes.

44
00:03:02,640 --> 00:03:08,080
She also is a personal coach and speaker and her story is filled with hope and joy and

45
00:03:08,080 --> 00:03:10,440
I know you will be encouraged by it.

46
00:03:10,440 --> 00:03:11,440
Welcome, Brooke.

47
00:03:11,440 --> 00:03:13,760
Thanks, Jodi, it's such an honor to be here.

48
00:03:13,760 --> 00:03:18,360
You grew up in Lancaster, Pennsylvania, in Amish country and that must have been very

49
00:03:18,360 --> 00:03:19,720
interesting.

50
00:03:19,720 --> 00:03:22,840
What were your early years like and when did you first meet Jesus?

51
00:03:22,840 --> 00:03:25,680
Amish country is a beautiful place to grow up.

52
00:03:25,680 --> 00:03:32,360
Lancaster County, Pennsylvania is filled with rich heritage, family values, and so much

53
00:03:32,360 --> 00:03:38,680
of my childhood felt really idyllic and I had an older brother, two years older than

54
00:03:38,680 --> 00:03:39,680
me.

55
00:03:39,680 --> 00:03:44,520
My mother and father, we were very involved in our local church.

56
00:03:44,520 --> 00:03:51,800
My dad was an elder, my mom was on staff, church became a home away from home for us.

57
00:03:51,800 --> 00:03:58,880
And so my childhood was lovely and I came to know Jesus at a very young age.

58
00:03:58,880 --> 00:04:03,160
I accepted him as my Lord and Savior at age five.

59
00:04:03,160 --> 00:04:05,240
But it was very real.

60
00:04:05,240 --> 00:04:11,080
I still remember the experience of the Holy Spirit in that moment and I, from that point

61
00:04:11,080 --> 00:04:15,280
on, always loved Jesus and my relationship with him grew.

62
00:04:15,280 --> 00:04:20,840
Yeah, that happy carefree life that you had, unfortunately, made an abrupt turn when you

63
00:04:20,840 --> 00:04:22,800
were about 12.

64
00:04:22,800 --> 00:04:25,960
What happened and how did that affect you and your faith?

65
00:04:25,960 --> 00:04:31,760
Yeah, my parents separated from my vantage point completely unexpected.

66
00:04:31,760 --> 00:04:38,360
I never saw it coming and like I said, our family was kind of the quote unquote perfect

67
00:04:38,360 --> 00:04:40,100
Christian family.

68
00:04:40,100 --> 00:04:50,320
And so when I watched my dad carry boxes to his car, my world imploded and it was an incredibly

69
00:04:50,320 --> 00:04:56,120
heartbreaking, lonely time.

70
00:04:56,120 --> 00:05:03,280
In fact, I didn't feel the support that I would have assumed I would have through that

71
00:05:03,280 --> 00:05:07,320
because people didn't really know how to handle it.

72
00:05:07,320 --> 00:05:12,400
And that's what happens a lot of times with suffering is like, this feels scary and I

73
00:05:12,400 --> 00:05:14,360
don't know what side to take.

74
00:05:14,360 --> 00:05:18,320
So I'm going to just step back into the shadows.

75
00:05:18,320 --> 00:05:22,720
And what happens for people walking through those times is it is incredibly isolating

76
00:05:22,720 --> 00:05:23,980
and lonely.

77
00:05:23,980 --> 00:05:32,800
And so I continued my relationship with Jesus, but I found myself also at the same time searching

78
00:05:32,800 --> 00:05:44,160
for real, tangible affection, love, belonging through people and places in this world that

79
00:05:44,160 --> 00:05:50,320
I hoped would fill that void that was left when my parents eventually divorced.

80
00:05:50,320 --> 00:05:55,800
So in college, you ended up pursuing a degree in broadcast journalism at Temple University

81
00:05:55,800 --> 00:06:02,200
in Pennsylvania, but you knew there was more to life than partying and school.

82
00:06:02,200 --> 00:06:04,600
And you got to a place of desperation.

83
00:06:04,600 --> 00:06:11,100
It was my junior year when I reached this point where I had, as you said, just been

84
00:06:11,100 --> 00:06:13,400
pursuing everything else.

85
00:06:13,400 --> 00:06:22,040
And I really had left my relationship with Jesus in a place that was just very stale.

86
00:06:22,040 --> 00:06:24,560
And I felt it.

87
00:06:24,560 --> 00:06:33,900
And I got to a place where one night I was so broken, just feeling so empty.

88
00:06:33,900 --> 00:06:39,600
And I just fell to my knees in my room and I cried out.

89
00:06:39,600 --> 00:06:48,520
And it was as if it was instantaneous that Jesus met me and immediately in that moment

90
00:06:48,520 --> 00:06:55,240
offered me complete forgiveness, complete understanding.

91
00:06:55,240 --> 00:07:00,520
And I picked up this book that my mom had sent me a while back called The Purpose Driven

92
00:07:00,520 --> 00:07:02,800
Life by Rick Warren.

93
00:07:02,800 --> 00:07:05,000
It's a 40-day devotional.

94
00:07:05,000 --> 00:07:11,640
And I was so hungry in that moment, and I devoured this book in 40 days.

95
00:07:11,640 --> 00:07:17,080
And every day my hunger grew and I just wanted nothing but Jesus.

96
00:07:17,080 --> 00:07:22,760
And at the end of the book, I was so eager to give Him everything, but I didn't have

97
00:07:22,760 --> 00:07:25,500
anything because I was a broke college kid.

98
00:07:25,500 --> 00:07:31,240
And I said, I don't have anything to give you, but I have a week of spring break coming

99
00:07:31,240 --> 00:07:34,680
up and I give it to you, Lord.

100
00:07:34,680 --> 00:07:38,760
And so I started researching missions trips and trying to figure out how I'm going to

101
00:07:38,760 --> 00:07:42,880
serve Him and nothing was lining up.

102
00:07:42,880 --> 00:07:47,200
And I thought, meanwhile, friends are calling and saying, hey, let's go to Panama City.

103
00:07:47,200 --> 00:07:51,260
And I'm like, yeah, I'm going to stay back this year.

104
00:07:51,260 --> 00:07:56,240
And I just kind of came to the point where I was like, I'll go back home for the week.

105
00:07:56,240 --> 00:07:58,120
I'll work at a homeless shelter.

106
00:07:58,120 --> 00:08:00,720
Lord, I still want to serve you.

107
00:08:00,720 --> 00:08:06,460
Well two weeks before my spring break, my mom called and she had not known this transformation

108
00:08:06,460 --> 00:08:07,820
in my life.

109
00:08:07,820 --> 00:08:13,840
And she said, I know you're going to think I'm crazy, but there is a missions trip that

110
00:08:13,840 --> 00:08:17,240
is leaving in two weeks from this date to that date.

111
00:08:17,240 --> 00:08:18,760
There's two spots left.

112
00:08:18,760 --> 00:08:21,160
There's no way you would want to go with me.

113
00:08:21,160 --> 00:08:22,160
Right.

114
00:08:22,160 --> 00:08:25,120
And I just, I said, tell me no more.

115
00:08:25,120 --> 00:08:26,560
I'm there.

116
00:08:26,560 --> 00:08:31,920
And as we're in the airplane flying above the clouds headed to Guadalajara, Mexico,

117
00:08:31,920 --> 00:08:37,380
you know, a smile played over my lips because I thought, God, are you really this intentional?

118
00:08:37,380 --> 00:08:39,240
Are you really this fun?

119
00:08:39,240 --> 00:08:42,840
Do you really work in such personal ways?

120
00:08:42,840 --> 00:08:46,560
And the resounding answer in my heart was, was yes.

121
00:08:46,560 --> 00:08:54,080
And so it was a week kind of, you know, nothing exceptional of the week.

122
00:08:54,080 --> 00:09:00,960
I spent the week scraping old paint off of cabinets at a YWAM base, but inside I knew

123
00:09:00,960 --> 00:09:02,740
there is nothing more fulfilling.

124
00:09:02,740 --> 00:09:06,240
There is nothing worth pursuing more than Jesus.

125
00:09:06,240 --> 00:09:10,720
And so at the end of the week, I climbed by myself to the top of this hill.

126
00:09:10,720 --> 00:09:15,840
And with just this, this cry of my heart, I prayed use me.

127
00:09:15,840 --> 00:09:21,380
And I didn't know what I meant when I prayed that I had no idea what that would end up

128
00:09:21,380 --> 00:09:27,560
meaning for my life, but I knew that there was nothing that I wanted more in that moment.

129
00:09:27,560 --> 00:09:28,560
And God did use you.

130
00:09:28,560 --> 00:09:35,360
In fact, before you even left, he introduced you to another couple that took you on the

131
00:09:35,360 --> 00:09:36,480
next step.

132
00:09:36,480 --> 00:09:37,480
Tell us what that was.

133
00:09:37,480 --> 00:09:42,520
A couple was at that YWAM base and they were actually in the process of starting a new

134
00:09:42,520 --> 00:09:46,560
YWAM base in another part of Mexico called Mazatlán.

135
00:09:46,560 --> 00:09:51,360
And their focus, as you mentioned, I was studying broadcasting and so their focus was in communication

136
00:09:51,360 --> 00:09:55,400
and broadcasting for this specific YWAM base.

137
00:09:55,400 --> 00:09:58,760
And I thought, well, that feels awfully coincidental.

138
00:09:58,760 --> 00:10:04,520
And they said, why don't you come and be part of our pioneer group, DTS, Discipleship Training

139
00:10:04,520 --> 00:10:05,680
School.

140
00:10:05,680 --> 00:10:08,120
And I was like, sure.

141
00:10:08,120 --> 00:10:14,680
I was just in this place where I was like, sold out, wherever God, just sure, I'll go.

142
00:10:14,680 --> 00:10:20,920
And so I ended up taking a year off of college and moving to Mexico to join them and do that.

143
00:10:20,920 --> 00:10:24,800
Before I finished my final year at Temple University.

144
00:10:24,800 --> 00:10:26,640
What did God do in you when you were there?

145
00:10:26,640 --> 00:10:29,240
I mean, I think you probably had some amazing experiences.

146
00:10:29,240 --> 00:10:33,280
God handpicked this location for you to be for a year.

147
00:10:33,280 --> 00:10:35,120
Share a little about your experience there.

148
00:10:35,120 --> 00:10:41,840
Yeah, you know, it's three months of learning and classes and training, which really opened

149
00:10:41,840 --> 00:10:49,880
my eyes to a whole different realm of God and Jesus and the Holy Spirit.

150
00:10:49,880 --> 00:10:53,220
You know, I grew up in Lancaster's an incredible place.

151
00:10:53,220 --> 00:10:56,840
It's also very conservative, tends to be for matters of faith.

152
00:10:56,840 --> 00:11:01,320
And so my interaction with the Holy Spirit was very limited, I would say.

153
00:11:01,320 --> 00:11:09,120
And so YWAM really kind of exposed me to the supernatural and to ways that God moves that

154
00:11:09,120 --> 00:11:10,740
I hadn't been familiar with.

155
00:11:10,740 --> 00:11:14,440
And so it was very exciting and it was also very challenging and trying.

156
00:11:14,440 --> 00:11:19,360
I felt myself really rubbing up against some things that I had preconceived notions of

157
00:11:19,360 --> 00:11:21,000
that were difficult.

158
00:11:21,000 --> 00:11:24,200
I had to wrestle a lot of things out.

159
00:11:24,200 --> 00:11:29,080
But the last three months is spent out doing outreach and missions work.

160
00:11:29,080 --> 00:11:36,760
And that's where I got to see the power of God on display in and through my life like

161
00:11:36,760 --> 00:11:39,440
I had never before.

162
00:11:39,440 --> 00:11:46,120
One particular time, our team got a last minute invitation to a prison.

163
00:11:46,120 --> 00:11:47,880
This is around Mexico City.

164
00:11:47,880 --> 00:11:52,440
And we had not prepared for it because we had not known we were going there.

165
00:11:52,440 --> 00:11:56,640
And so on the drive there, my leader looked at me and he said, Brooke, are you willing

166
00:11:56,640 --> 00:11:58,480
to share your testimony today?

167
00:11:58,480 --> 00:12:03,360
And I had never done that since I had been on outreach.

168
00:12:03,360 --> 00:12:06,960
And so I thought, okay, we're on our way there.

169
00:12:06,960 --> 00:12:10,780
I have no time to prepare or think, but sure.

170
00:12:10,780 --> 00:12:15,320
And so I prayed, you know, I said, Jesus, you have to speak like you have to give me

171
00:12:15,320 --> 00:12:18,280
the words because I don't even know what I'm going to say.

172
00:12:18,280 --> 00:12:25,120
And so we get in front of this room of, I would say probably close to a hundred men.

173
00:12:25,120 --> 00:12:30,520
And I threw an interpreter, give my testimony and I'm saying things that I'm realizing

174
00:12:30,520 --> 00:12:31,520
in the moment.

175
00:12:31,520 --> 00:12:32,560
Where did that come from?

176
00:12:32,560 --> 00:12:34,200
Where did that illustration come from?

177
00:12:34,200 --> 00:12:37,240
Where I, man, I wouldn't have thought to use that verse.

178
00:12:37,240 --> 00:12:39,120
And I'm speaking and giving my testimony.

179
00:12:39,120 --> 00:12:47,120
And at the end, the interpreter does an altar call and asks if anyone is interested in knowing

180
00:12:47,120 --> 00:12:49,120
Jesus as their Lord and savior.

181
00:12:49,120 --> 00:12:52,360
And every single man in that room stood up.

182
00:12:52,360 --> 00:12:55,920
And I remember thinking in that moment, oh, they must always do this.

183
00:12:55,920 --> 00:12:58,000
Like they must get groups in every week.

184
00:12:58,000 --> 00:13:00,400
And this is the routine, right?

185
00:13:00,400 --> 00:13:02,760
You hear a testimony, you stand up, you receive the Lord.

186
00:13:02,760 --> 00:13:04,600
Okay, next week.

187
00:13:04,600 --> 00:13:07,560
And so we were driving back in the van.

188
00:13:07,560 --> 00:13:11,760
And our leader is talking rapidly with the interpreter and everyone's kind of curious,

189
00:13:11,760 --> 00:13:14,680
like what in the world are they talking about?

190
00:13:14,680 --> 00:13:19,320
And our leader turns back and says to us, you guys, we didn't want to tell you beforehand,

191
00:13:19,320 --> 00:13:23,600
but that was the highest security prison.

192
00:13:23,600 --> 00:13:24,900
One of them in Mexico.

193
00:13:24,900 --> 00:13:28,000
These are the worst of the worst offenders.

194
00:13:28,000 --> 00:13:34,240
And never once has anyone responded to the gospel when it was presented.

195
00:13:34,240 --> 00:13:36,200
And I was literally just-

196
00:13:36,200 --> 00:13:37,200
Wow.

197
00:13:37,200 --> 00:13:40,080
I mean, as you can imagine, just floored.

198
00:13:40,080 --> 00:13:44,120
And again, I was like, this is what it feels like.

199
00:13:44,120 --> 00:13:49,380
Like this is what it feels like when God moves through his church, you know, his plan for

200
00:13:49,380 --> 00:13:51,920
redemption is us.

201
00:13:51,920 --> 00:13:56,440
You know, I mean, other, you know, after Jesus, like he wants to move through the church and

202
00:13:56,440 --> 00:14:00,060
here I am experiencing this in such a profound way.

203
00:14:00,060 --> 00:14:06,280
And again, it's just, it's breaking every box that I had placed him in wide open and

204
00:14:06,280 --> 00:14:13,040
going, oh, I don't even understand the scope of what he is able to do in and through his

205
00:14:13,040 --> 00:14:14,040
followers.

206
00:14:14,040 --> 00:14:15,560
That's just one example.

207
00:14:15,560 --> 00:14:16,560
Yeah.

208
00:14:16,560 --> 00:14:20,680
You know, after an experience like that, and I'm sure you had others, it's easy to think

209
00:14:20,680 --> 00:14:26,480
God would want you to go into full-time ministry, but he gave you some real clear direction

210
00:14:26,480 --> 00:14:27,480
to the contrary.

211
00:14:27,480 --> 00:14:28,480
Share about that.

212
00:14:28,480 --> 00:14:29,480
Yeah.

213
00:14:29,480 --> 00:14:34,800
I went into why I'm assuming that I would be making a change because three years of

214
00:14:34,800 --> 00:14:43,960
broadcasting at a very liberal school in center city, Philadelphia really showed me how, how

215
00:14:43,960 --> 00:14:49,160
dark certain areas are, especially with news and media.

216
00:14:49,160 --> 00:14:54,440
I was being taught things like pornography is a healthy part of society like that.

217
00:14:54,440 --> 00:14:57,160
I remember that from a lecture.

218
00:14:57,160 --> 00:15:01,680
And so when I got to YM I thought, well, surely God is going to call me out of this and call

219
00:15:01,680 --> 00:15:04,080
me into something more Holy.

220
00:15:04,080 --> 00:15:11,720
And, and time and time again, he spoke to me in all different ways of just saying, I

221
00:15:11,720 --> 00:15:13,840
need my children in the darkness.

222
00:15:13,840 --> 00:15:19,160
I need my light in the darkness and I want you to pursue broadcasting and continue to

223
00:15:19,160 --> 00:15:20,480
pursue it.

224
00:15:20,480 --> 00:15:25,980
And he made it so clear that I randomly met a man who was on vacation.

225
00:15:25,980 --> 00:15:28,920
He was a reporter at a station in San Francisco.

226
00:15:28,920 --> 00:15:35,760
He offered me an internship while I was in YWAM and probably thought he would never hear

227
00:15:35,760 --> 00:15:39,240
from me again, but I took it to the Lord and I said, do you want me here?

228
00:15:39,240 --> 00:15:41,700
Do you want me to move to San Francisco?

229
00:15:41,700 --> 00:15:43,640
Because I know no one, I have nowhere to stay.

230
00:15:43,640 --> 00:15:46,800
And if you want me there, you need to make it clear.

231
00:15:46,800 --> 00:15:53,920
And from that point on till the time I had to make the decision, I saw the word San Francisco

232
00:15:53,920 --> 00:15:56,480
everywhere.

233
00:15:56,480 --> 00:16:03,520
I mean, on road signs on city signs where there were no San Francisco, Mexico's in that

234
00:16:03,520 --> 00:16:08,760
area, you know, on people wearing t-shirts on orphanages.

235
00:16:08,760 --> 00:16:13,600
I was, I was drinking a cup of coffee at an orphanage and I got to the bottom at the bottom

236
00:16:13,600 --> 00:16:14,600
inside of the cup.

237
00:16:14,600 --> 00:16:15,600
It said San Francisco.

238
00:16:15,600 --> 00:16:21,980
I mean, it was just, it got to be so funny that my friends who knew this, you know, we're

239
00:16:21,980 --> 00:16:25,680
laughing every time we would see San Francisco.

240
00:16:25,680 --> 00:16:31,600
And so I ended up moving to San Francisco after YWAM and pursuing broadcasting.

241
00:16:31,600 --> 00:16:38,960
But with this foundation now laid, Jodi, that, that, you know, God knew I needed that foundation

242
00:16:38,960 --> 00:16:41,720
before, you know, he could send me there.

243
00:16:41,720 --> 00:16:42,720
Yeah.

244
00:16:42,720 --> 00:16:48,960
So when your internship was over, you returned to Temple University, you graduated.

245
00:16:48,960 --> 00:16:50,360
Where did God take you after that?

246
00:16:50,360 --> 00:16:53,560
My first job was actually as a news anchor.

247
00:16:53,560 --> 00:16:57,600
I kind of went right into anchoring in Macon, Georgia.

248
00:16:57,600 --> 00:17:04,760
And I spent four years there and then moved to Wichita, Kansas for my next job.

249
00:17:04,760 --> 00:17:09,440
And then after that, I moved to Indianapolis, which is where we are now.

250
00:17:09,440 --> 00:17:11,240
And along the way you met your husband.

251
00:17:11,240 --> 00:17:12,240
Yes.

252
00:17:12,240 --> 00:17:17,200
In Wichita of all places, you know, it's where all good love stories start.

253
00:17:17,200 --> 00:17:21,520
We, yeah, we both, our jobs have both taken us there.

254
00:17:21,520 --> 00:17:26,520
And so we met randomly and that's a whole other story, but very thankful I did.

255
00:17:26,520 --> 00:17:32,160
Well, you were anchoring in Indianapolis when you learned you were pregnant with your second

256
00:17:32,160 --> 00:17:33,160
child.

257
00:17:33,160 --> 00:17:34,520
You already had one.

258
00:17:34,520 --> 00:17:39,160
And at that time you explained to me a little bit, maybe you can share this more with viewers.

259
00:17:39,160 --> 00:17:43,080
Social media was just kind of coming in and you were trying to gain social media followers.

260
00:17:43,080 --> 00:17:49,200
So you announced it on air to your viewers so everyone could be excited for you.

261
00:17:49,200 --> 00:17:51,480
But then something very unexpected happened.

262
00:17:51,480 --> 00:17:52,480
Tell me more about that.

263
00:17:52,480 --> 00:17:55,940
Yes, we were pregnant with our second child.

264
00:17:55,940 --> 00:17:58,080
Our son Max was two at the time.

265
00:17:58,080 --> 00:18:02,620
And so this was all just fitting perfectly in our life plan.

266
00:18:02,620 --> 00:18:05,280
Life was really shiny at that point.

267
00:18:05,280 --> 00:18:06,960
You know, I had my dream job.

268
00:18:06,960 --> 00:18:08,480
My husband had a good job.

269
00:18:08,480 --> 00:18:15,800
We were really never wanting or needing our, our son was, you know, the apple of our eye,

270
00:18:15,800 --> 00:18:16,800
just, just precious.

271
00:18:16,800 --> 00:18:18,720
And we thought, here we go.

272
00:18:18,720 --> 00:18:25,000
We had our fingers crossed for a little girl and that was going to complete our family.

273
00:18:25,000 --> 00:18:30,520
And it was about 14 weeks into my pregnancy after I had announced to the viewers that

274
00:18:30,520 --> 00:18:34,160
I was pregnant that I developed a really bad cold.

275
00:18:34,160 --> 00:18:35,800
I assumed it was bronchitis.

276
00:18:35,800 --> 00:18:40,600
And after trying to fight it off, I finally gave in and went into my OB on my way into

277
00:18:40,600 --> 00:18:42,120
work to get a Z-Pak.

278
00:18:42,120 --> 00:18:46,840
And she confirmed, you know, bronchitis, wrote a script and said, hey, before you leave,

279
00:18:46,840 --> 00:18:49,040
do you want to see the baby?

280
00:18:49,040 --> 00:18:52,040
And I thought, of course, you know, you never turned down a chance for that.

281
00:18:52,040 --> 00:18:56,200
And I thought I'm going to surprise Cole with pictures when he gets home.

282
00:18:56,200 --> 00:19:03,520
And so I was alone in the ultrasound room when the ultrasound tech kept printing off

283
00:19:03,520 --> 00:19:04,520
pictures.

284
00:19:04,520 --> 00:19:08,320
And then she would leave the room and she did that a few more times and kind of mumbled

285
00:19:08,320 --> 00:19:10,020
something about the machine not working.

286
00:19:10,020 --> 00:19:11,840
And I was totally oblivious.

287
00:19:11,840 --> 00:19:13,400
I could see our child.

288
00:19:13,400 --> 00:19:17,800
I could see our baby and I was excited.

289
00:19:17,800 --> 00:19:24,240
And the next time it wasn't her who came in, it was that nurse practitioner.

290
00:19:24,240 --> 00:19:28,520
And she walked to my bedside and just placed her hand on my arm.

291
00:19:28,520 --> 00:19:31,800
And she said, your baby's skull isn't developing.

292
00:19:31,800 --> 00:19:33,760
I'm so sorry.

293
00:19:33,760 --> 00:19:36,320
And walked out.

294
00:19:36,320 --> 00:19:41,480
And I was in shock.

295
00:19:41,480 --> 00:19:46,360
Tears just started streaming down my face, although I didn't even understand what was

296
00:19:46,360 --> 00:19:49,040
happening.

297
00:19:49,040 --> 00:19:55,800
And in that moment, I heard the word, Emmanuel whispered to my heart so clearly over and

298
00:19:55,800 --> 00:19:58,840
over, Emmanuel, Emmanuel, Emmanuel.

299
00:19:58,840 --> 00:20:02,900
And in my confusion, I only could only associate it with Christmas.

300
00:20:02,900 --> 00:20:10,600
And so I'm thinking, why am I hearing this name, Christmas name?

301
00:20:10,600 --> 00:20:14,800
And then my doctor walked in and kind of disrupted that line of thought.

302
00:20:14,800 --> 00:20:18,360
And he said, Brooke, it is what we thought.

303
00:20:18,360 --> 00:20:24,240
It's anencephaly and there's 0% chance of survival.

304
00:20:24,240 --> 00:20:30,400
And so I found myself alone again with the ultrasound tech as she was picking up a few

305
00:20:30,400 --> 00:20:31,400
of her things.

306
00:20:31,400 --> 00:20:37,120
And I was putting on my shoes and I was just sobbing.

307
00:20:37,120 --> 00:20:39,920
But yeah, I knew I had to ask her before she left.

308
00:20:39,920 --> 00:20:45,960
And so I kind of took the next minute to muster up all the courage I could.

309
00:20:45,960 --> 00:20:48,080
And I just, I've eeked out three words.

310
00:20:48,080 --> 00:20:50,360
I just said, could you tell?

311
00:20:50,360 --> 00:20:52,160
And she knew what I meant.

312
00:20:52,160 --> 00:20:58,600
She looked at me with such a deep sadness and she said, it's a girl.

313
00:20:58,600 --> 00:21:03,160
And then Cole was on his way quickly.

314
00:21:03,160 --> 00:21:09,280
And from there, we were taken to maternal fetal where we were supposed to get more answers.

315
00:21:09,280 --> 00:21:10,280
Yeah.

316
00:21:10,280 --> 00:21:16,200
So they actually recommended you go to Planned Parenthood.

317
00:21:16,200 --> 00:21:20,140
And that was a confusing thing in the midst of your grief.

318
00:21:20,140 --> 00:21:22,600
How did you even respond to that?

319
00:21:22,600 --> 00:21:26,500
Well, you have to realize I was given almost no information.

320
00:21:26,500 --> 00:21:32,360
And so when we went there, I'm assuming our daughter is going to die in utero at any minute.

321
00:21:32,360 --> 00:21:34,920
And so I'm thinking this is a DNC.

322
00:21:34,920 --> 00:21:38,560
This is a procedure for miscarriage that I'm going to have to walk through, never had before.

323
00:21:38,560 --> 00:21:43,200
So my first question to the doctor was what happens next?

324
00:21:43,200 --> 00:21:45,720
Meaning how does this procedure work?

325
00:21:45,720 --> 00:21:50,280
And she said, well, we don't do it here, but you can go to Planned Parenthood.

326
00:21:50,280 --> 00:21:55,160
And I mean, it sounds so obvious now, but I didn't know what she was talking about.

327
00:21:55,160 --> 00:22:00,060
I thought, why you don't do that here at this, it's a Catholic hospital, mind you.

328
00:22:00,060 --> 00:22:01,540
And so I'm going, what?

329
00:22:01,540 --> 00:22:05,840
And then my husband's voice kind of shot through this cloud of confusion.

330
00:22:05,840 --> 00:22:08,280
And he said, we're keeping the baby.

331
00:22:08,280 --> 00:22:15,800
And I looked at him and I looked at her and I was like, oh yeah, we're keeping the baby.

332
00:22:15,800 --> 00:22:22,280
You're telling me, you're suggesting the first question, you're suggesting that I terminate.

333
00:22:22,280 --> 00:22:29,780
And so we still didn't receive much information in that visit, but we went home and we researched

334
00:22:29,780 --> 00:22:32,080
and I realized why that was her assumption.

335
00:22:32,080 --> 00:22:37,440
Over 85% of Ann and Stephanie pregnancies are terminated.

336
00:22:37,440 --> 00:22:42,560
But we also realized that our daughter would likely survive full term and that we might

337
00:22:42,560 --> 00:22:45,040
even get time with her.

338
00:22:45,040 --> 00:22:48,360
A few minutes, hours, days, it can vary.

339
00:22:48,360 --> 00:22:56,440
But we had made up our minds immediately and people were very, very confused by that, Jodi.

340
00:22:56,440 --> 00:23:02,160
The viewing public who were now watching and knowing what was happening, they couldn't

341
00:23:02,160 --> 00:23:09,120
understand why you would choose to, in their mind, walk through suffering that you don't

342
00:23:09,120 --> 00:23:11,120
have to.

343
00:23:11,120 --> 00:23:19,520
So it began a really surreal journey of being in the public eye during a season and a pregnancy

344
00:23:19,520 --> 00:23:27,560
of complete heartache and suffering where I was still anchoring the news every night

345
00:23:27,560 --> 00:23:35,320
while I was growing, while our daughter, we named her Emma Noel after her namesake, Emmanuel,

346
00:23:35,320 --> 00:23:40,960
that name that was whispered to my heart because we realized very quickly that God was delivering

347
00:23:40,960 --> 00:23:43,780
a message that, yes, he is with us.

348
00:23:43,780 --> 00:23:52,840
But what I didn't realize was how much that message was directed at us.

349
00:23:52,840 --> 00:23:55,160
And that began a whole personal journey for us.

350
00:23:55,160 --> 00:24:00,960
Yeah, well, I just cannot even imagine what you were going through as your delivery date

351
00:24:00,960 --> 00:24:01,960
grew near.

352
00:24:01,960 --> 00:24:05,360
It was scheduled at that point.

353
00:24:05,360 --> 00:24:08,560
Share about your daughter's birth and what happened.

354
00:24:08,560 --> 00:24:16,960
March 15th, 2019, we walk into the hospital knowing what is ahead of us.

355
00:24:16,960 --> 00:24:22,920
And it was a scheduled C-section and Emma was born alive.

356
00:24:22,920 --> 00:24:27,520
And the nurse handed her to Cole first.

357
00:24:27,520 --> 00:24:34,040
And I remember just watching him, you know, his brow furrowed, just staring at his little

358
00:24:34,040 --> 00:24:35,040
girl.

359
00:24:35,040 --> 00:24:41,240
And the nurse remarked that when I was talking to the anesthesiologist, Emma actually turned

360
00:24:41,240 --> 00:24:46,640
her head to me, acknowledging my voice, you know.

361
00:24:46,640 --> 00:24:53,400
And he then handed her to me and I got to just tell her things that I had been waiting

362
00:24:53,400 --> 00:25:01,360
a long time to say, you know, that I was proud of her.

363
00:25:01,360 --> 00:25:06,800
And that so many people love her.

364
00:25:06,800 --> 00:25:12,960
And then I told her she could go.

365
00:25:12,960 --> 00:25:23,920
And so I handed her back to Cole and it was in his arms that she passed from her daddy's

366
00:25:23,920 --> 00:25:28,120
to her heavenly father's 21 minutes later.

367
00:25:28,120 --> 00:25:36,600
And that was painful, but it was, you know, the Lord's mercy came in like a flood at that

368
00:25:36,600 --> 00:25:43,520
moment for you and for Cole and share how he really carried you through the next few

369
00:25:43,520 --> 00:25:44,520
days.

370
00:25:44,520 --> 00:25:51,240
So we had Emma with us in the hospital room for the next three days thanks to a device

371
00:25:51,240 --> 00:25:53,320
called a cuddle cot.

372
00:25:53,320 --> 00:25:59,920
And anyone who has heard your episode with Linda Zanacca with He Knows Your Name Ministry,

373
00:25:59,920 --> 00:26:03,360
it was Linda who helped facilitate getting that cuddle cot for us.

374
00:26:03,360 --> 00:26:04,360
It's a cooling device.

375
00:26:04,360 --> 00:26:11,440
It's a bassinet that just allows parents to have time with their child for closure, for

376
00:26:11,440 --> 00:26:14,000
photos so their family can hold them.

377
00:26:14,000 --> 00:26:15,840
You know, it's a gift of time.

378
00:26:15,840 --> 00:26:22,800
And so thanks to her and to cuddle cot, we were able to spend the next few days.

379
00:26:22,800 --> 00:26:27,560
And you know, everyone kind of assumes like the death is the part that was the hardest.

380
00:26:27,560 --> 00:26:32,840
And I said, of all the things that I knew that I had been through, you know, the diagnosis,

381
00:26:32,840 --> 00:26:38,640
the delivery, the pregnancy, the delivery, the death, there was still something that

382
00:26:38,640 --> 00:26:40,600
I dreaded most.

383
00:26:40,600 --> 00:26:50,400
And that was the day that I knew I would have to walk out of the hospital and leave my child

384
00:26:50,400 --> 00:26:51,400
behind.

385
00:26:51,400 --> 00:27:02,000
And I just didn't know how I didn't know how that was possible for a mother.

386
00:27:02,000 --> 00:27:10,240
And so the morning of our discharge, I wake up from my sleep and tears have been falling

387
00:27:10,240 --> 00:27:13,480
down my face.

388
00:27:13,480 --> 00:27:18,560
And I cry out to God, I said, I can't do this.

389
00:27:18,560 --> 00:27:22,320
I cannot do this.

390
00:27:22,320 --> 00:27:32,960
And immediately, I feel a surge of strength start in my toes and rise to the top of my

391
00:27:32,960 --> 00:27:33,960
head.

392
00:27:33,960 --> 00:27:35,800
I mean, tangible.

393
00:27:35,800 --> 00:27:42,520
I feel a blanket like a weighted blanket of peace fall, like fall from heaven on top of

394
00:27:42,520 --> 00:27:44,560
me.

395
00:27:44,560 --> 00:27:55,720
And I surged with this strength and this peace, and I realized he is with me.

396
00:27:55,720 --> 00:28:00,540
And that means more than I ever possibly knew before.

397
00:28:00,540 --> 00:28:06,720
And so we spent that morning rocking Emma and then we handed her to the nurse when it

398
00:28:06,720 --> 00:28:08,280
was time.

399
00:28:08,280 --> 00:28:12,760
And we left that hospital and we get in the car and we buckled our seat belts and we looked

400
00:28:12,760 --> 00:28:15,680
at each other and we smiled.

401
00:28:15,680 --> 00:28:21,900
And it wasn't a smile that like the grief was gone or the heartache had disappeared.

402
00:28:21,900 --> 00:28:27,160
It was a smile of knowing that we had just walked through the unimaginable.

403
00:28:27,160 --> 00:28:30,720
We had just walked through fire and we weren't burned.

404
00:28:30,720 --> 00:28:32,520
Like we weren't burned.

405
00:28:32,520 --> 00:28:38,720
It was like we realized in that moment, everything we had said we believed our whole lives as

406
00:28:38,720 --> 00:28:42,320
Christians, right?

407
00:28:42,320 --> 00:28:46,920
That he is with us, that Jesus defeated death and now we can too.

408
00:28:46,920 --> 00:28:54,120
Like all of these truths that we said we believed in that moment, we realized they were true.

409
00:28:54,120 --> 00:28:59,720
And it was the most profound awakening, I would say, because up until that point, we

410
00:28:59,720 --> 00:29:02,800
were living a very comfortable Christianity.

411
00:29:02,800 --> 00:29:11,600
Really, really not in need of much, not pursuing giftings much, not digging in.

412
00:29:11,600 --> 00:29:19,240
We were very comfortable and it was like something shifted in that moment where we thought, oh,

413
00:29:19,240 --> 00:29:23,720
this is way bigger than we could have ever imagined.

414
00:29:23,720 --> 00:29:27,400
God is way better than we could fathom.

415
00:29:27,400 --> 00:29:34,880
And the power that is available to us and the access we have as children of God is something

416
00:29:34,880 --> 00:29:37,000
profound.

417
00:29:37,000 --> 00:29:40,040
And all we knew is that we wanted more of it.

418
00:29:40,040 --> 00:29:41,640
We wanted more.

419
00:29:41,640 --> 00:29:49,920
And so we sought out people who we sensed this same power in.

420
00:29:49,920 --> 00:29:58,640
We just wanted to get around believers who were on fire and passionate and pursuing Jesus

421
00:29:58,640 --> 00:30:02,120
and the Holy Spirit in ways that we hadn't before.

422
00:30:02,120 --> 00:30:06,840
And long story short, it changed us forever.

423
00:30:06,840 --> 00:30:08,080
It changed our lives.

424
00:30:08,080 --> 00:30:09,160
It changed our pursuits.

425
00:30:09,160 --> 00:30:10,240
It changed our family.

426
00:30:10,240 --> 00:30:12,400
It changed our marriage.

427
00:30:12,400 --> 00:30:14,720
It changed everything.

428
00:30:14,720 --> 00:30:21,400
You eventually returned to work after this and you were on air.

429
00:30:21,400 --> 00:30:25,640
But God began drawing you away towards something new.

430
00:30:25,640 --> 00:30:28,560
How did that happen and what did he lead you into?

431
00:30:28,560 --> 00:30:34,600
Yeah, I was, like I said, I was in my dream job and so I had no plans to leave it.

432
00:30:34,600 --> 00:30:40,280
But I slowly developed this kind of uprooting where I was like, oh, something's happening

433
00:30:40,280 --> 00:30:41,280
here.

434
00:30:41,280 --> 00:30:42,600
I'm being called out.

435
00:30:42,600 --> 00:30:48,560
But I ignored it for two years because who leaves their dream job and the paycheck that

436
00:30:48,560 --> 00:30:50,160
goes along with it.

437
00:30:50,160 --> 00:30:56,520
And so finally it got to a place where for the first time in my life I started developing

438
00:30:56,520 --> 00:31:04,400
on camera anxiety, which is so terrifying for anyone who knows what it's like to have

439
00:31:04,400 --> 00:31:07,360
to do their job in front of a camera.

440
00:31:07,360 --> 00:31:09,480
And I thought, well, this is wild.

441
00:31:09,480 --> 00:31:19,120
I mean, I couldn't do a 15 second cut in sometimes without just this horrible anxiety.

442
00:31:19,120 --> 00:31:22,320
And I got to a point where I took some time off.

443
00:31:22,320 --> 00:31:24,760
I'm like, I need to figure this out.

444
00:31:24,760 --> 00:31:26,880
What's happening?

445
00:31:26,880 --> 00:31:33,080
And I was driving down the highway in my car and I prayed.

446
00:31:33,080 --> 00:31:37,760
I said, God, if you are calling me out of news, will you please tell me what you're

447
00:31:37,760 --> 00:31:40,360
calling me into?

448
00:31:40,360 --> 00:31:45,920
And for the first time in my life, I saw a vision so clearly, you know, I'm driving.

449
00:31:45,920 --> 00:31:51,240
So it's in the back of my mind, but it is a clear vision of a burned out forest, totally

450
00:31:51,240 --> 00:31:53,460
blackened landscape.

451
00:31:53,460 --> 00:31:56,680
And with it came the words controlled burn.

452
00:31:56,680 --> 00:32:04,240
And I got really quiet because I knew I knew I was receiving something, but I had no clue

453
00:32:04,240 --> 00:32:06,120
what it was.

454
00:32:06,120 --> 00:32:13,280
And piece by piece, God just started downloading this concept of controlled burn in that life's

455
00:32:13,280 --> 00:32:17,640
fires can take one of two divergent paths.

456
00:32:17,640 --> 00:32:25,600
They can grow out of control and destroy damage for generations.

457
00:32:25,600 --> 00:32:34,640
You know, just destructive, purposeless pain or life's fires.

458
00:32:34,640 --> 00:32:41,840
If they're bordered by God's promises and his provision and his power, they can actually

459
00:32:41,840 --> 00:32:49,200
burn away what is holding us back from his presence and leave behind nutrient rich soil

460
00:32:49,200 --> 00:32:57,040
that can grow things inside of us that could have never been cultivated without the fire.

461
00:32:57,040 --> 00:33:03,680
And I'm thinking of all the thousands of people who I heard from through my pregnancy, other

462
00:33:03,680 --> 00:33:10,720
families, other parents who reached out to me sharing their own stories of loss and suffering

463
00:33:10,720 --> 00:33:15,080
and who were just drowning in grief and hopelessness.

464
00:33:15,080 --> 00:33:22,840
And here we are on the opposite side where we have found life and life abundantly.

465
00:33:22,840 --> 00:33:32,640
And I'm thinking I am burdened by this despair that I realize is all over the place.

466
00:33:32,640 --> 00:33:36,920
And from a lot of Christians too, this isn't just, you know, this is Christians who really

467
00:33:36,920 --> 00:33:40,920
are wrestling with despair and hopelessness from suffering.

468
00:33:40,920 --> 00:33:47,240
And so when I received this vision, I went home and I said, babe, sit down.

469
00:33:47,240 --> 00:33:49,640
And I said, hear me out.

470
00:33:49,640 --> 00:33:50,640
All right.

471
00:33:50,640 --> 00:33:56,720
I got this vision and I heard these words and I feel like I'm supposed to leave my job.

472
00:33:56,720 --> 00:34:00,720
And without hesitation, he said, do it.

473
00:34:00,720 --> 00:34:04,360
And you see, it's because we weren't the same people.

474
00:34:04,360 --> 00:34:11,440
Like he used to incessantly check savings and make sure our finances were okay.

475
00:34:11,440 --> 00:34:16,980
He used to incessantly question his own salvation and we were forged.

476
00:34:16,980 --> 00:34:21,000
He didn't care about the things he used to care about.

477
00:34:21,000 --> 00:34:28,080
So it gave him the freedom to allow me to pursue something that he clearly believed

478
00:34:28,080 --> 00:34:33,320
in because we understood now how God moves and how it's unexpected and how it doesn't

479
00:34:33,320 --> 00:34:38,800
always make sense, but we were able to trust him because he had led us through the fire.

480
00:34:38,800 --> 00:34:46,560
And so I left my job and I was like, okay, I'll, you know, I don't know what I'll do

481
00:34:46,560 --> 00:34:47,560
with this.

482
00:34:47,560 --> 00:34:48,560
Maybe I'll create a curriculum.

483
00:34:48,560 --> 00:34:51,160
And that's kind of, that was the leap of faith that we took.

484
00:34:51,160 --> 00:34:52,160
Yeah.

485
00:34:52,160 --> 00:34:54,920
And in the midst of this, you also hadn't had another child.

486
00:34:54,920 --> 00:34:55,920
Yeah.

487
00:34:55,920 --> 00:34:56,920
Yeah.

488
00:34:56,920 --> 00:35:01,200
We had a rainbow baby, a rainbow baby.

489
00:35:01,200 --> 00:35:02,200
Explain that.

490
00:35:02,200 --> 00:35:03,200
Yeah.

491
00:35:03,200 --> 00:35:08,120
It's a term that's used for a child that comes after a loss.

492
00:35:08,120 --> 00:35:12,600
So it's kind of a God's promise type of a term.

493
00:35:12,600 --> 00:35:18,480
But yeah, when you lose a baby, your next child is often referred to as a rainbow baby.

494
00:35:18,480 --> 00:35:21,840
But we named her Marlo.

495
00:35:21,840 --> 00:35:31,720
Her name means storyteller and just overwhelmed by God's faithfulness and redemption of what

496
00:35:31,720 --> 00:35:32,720
we lost.

497
00:35:32,720 --> 00:35:34,960
So you did take that leap of faith.

498
00:35:34,960 --> 00:35:38,440
As you said, you stepped out of your away from your job, which I'm sure was shocking

499
00:35:38,440 --> 00:35:40,960
to all of your coworkers.

500
00:35:40,960 --> 00:35:48,960
But as you did that, God started moving in the direction he wanted you to go.

501
00:35:48,960 --> 00:35:53,360
And I mentioned at the beginning that you have a book that's being released this week,

502
00:35:53,360 --> 00:35:57,800
but share just a little bit about how that came about because you had no contacts in

503
00:35:57,800 --> 00:35:58,800
that world.

504
00:35:58,800 --> 00:36:04,520
No, in fact, Jodi, I said in these conversations with the lawyers, I'm stepping out.

505
00:36:04,520 --> 00:36:08,240
I said, okay, I think I need to create a curriculum.

506
00:36:08,240 --> 00:36:10,200
I want to teach, coach.

507
00:36:10,200 --> 00:36:11,200
I want to kind of do this.

508
00:36:11,200 --> 00:36:12,200
I just, whatever.

509
00:36:12,200 --> 00:36:13,200
I just don't want to write a book.

510
00:36:13,200 --> 00:36:15,680
Like that's one thing I just don't want to do.

511
00:36:15,680 --> 00:36:19,200
And what's that saying about telling God your plans?

512
00:36:19,200 --> 00:36:25,600
Because as I'm going through this journey of, okay, what is next?

513
00:36:25,600 --> 00:36:34,560
I end up having meetings with people in the publishing world that I did not know before.

514
00:36:34,560 --> 00:36:43,840
All of these divine exchanges and interactions that were so clearly pointing to this direction.

515
00:36:43,840 --> 00:36:50,000
The final straw was I was giving a prayer at the governor's prayer breakfast.

516
00:36:50,000 --> 00:36:52,200
And so I give a prayer.

517
00:36:52,200 --> 00:36:53,200
That's it.

518
00:36:53,200 --> 00:36:54,360
No story, nothing else.

519
00:36:54,360 --> 00:36:58,760
I just say a prayer and I walk up the stage and a woman comes up to me and she says, do

520
00:36:58,760 --> 00:37:00,320
you have a literary agent?

521
00:37:00,320 --> 00:37:03,000
And I said, I don't even know what a literary agent is.

522
00:37:03,000 --> 00:37:05,560
I didn't tell her that, but I just said, no, thank you.

523
00:37:05,560 --> 00:37:11,080
And she hands me a card and she says, my friend is one if you need it.

524
00:37:11,080 --> 00:37:15,940
And I said, thank you and put it in my purse and forgot about it.

525
00:37:15,940 --> 00:37:19,880
And then a couple of months down the road, somebody in the publishing world said, you

526
00:37:19,880 --> 00:37:21,920
need to find a literary agent.

527
00:37:21,920 --> 00:37:29,880
And so I end up on a Zoom with somebody that I don't know from Adam.

528
00:37:29,880 --> 00:37:35,960
And she turns out to be one of the number one literary agents in the country.

529
00:37:35,960 --> 00:37:37,600
She's not taking clients.

530
00:37:37,600 --> 00:37:42,280
I didn't want to be a client, but somehow we're on this Zoom and we talked for like

531
00:37:42,280 --> 00:37:43,280
an hour.

532
00:37:43,280 --> 00:37:46,720
And at the end, she just says, listen, I think control burn needs to be told.

533
00:37:46,720 --> 00:37:47,840
Your story needs to be told.

534
00:37:47,840 --> 00:37:50,120
So I'm sending over a contract.

535
00:37:50,120 --> 00:37:55,680
And I got off that Zoom and again, like the airplane ride in the clouds above Guadalajara,

536
00:37:55,680 --> 00:38:05,320
Mexico, I laughed and I just thought, man, like, God, you're so at work.

537
00:38:05,320 --> 00:38:07,000
You're so fun.

538
00:38:07,000 --> 00:38:13,380
You're so able to do what we say we can't or shouldn't do.

539
00:38:13,380 --> 00:38:16,820
And so that started a journey of writing a book.

540
00:38:16,820 --> 00:38:24,480
I wrote this book in four months, so it was really kind of fast and wild.

541
00:38:24,480 --> 00:38:35,880
But I felt as I was writing this, God was leading me in a direction of really hard truth.

542
00:38:35,880 --> 00:38:41,120
And I wasn't sure when we started this journey, was this going to be a memoir?

543
00:38:41,120 --> 00:38:42,840
Was this going to be like self-help?

544
00:38:42,840 --> 00:38:43,840
I don't know.

545
00:38:43,840 --> 00:38:45,080
I've never written a book.

546
00:38:45,080 --> 00:38:52,000
And the more I wrote, the more God led me in this place of walking through.

547
00:38:52,000 --> 00:38:59,240
This is a book about walking through your own fires, starting with your design, your

548
00:38:59,240 --> 00:39:04,880
forest, your personal forest and God's intentional design, all the way through the weeds that

549
00:39:04,880 --> 00:39:07,680
are growing up, sin.

550
00:39:07,680 --> 00:39:11,580
What has infiltrated your forest that maybe has gone unnoticed?

551
00:39:11,580 --> 00:39:17,600
And then to the fire and then the aftermath and then the beautiful regrowth.

552
00:39:17,600 --> 00:39:23,080
And it just leads readers through this, I call it a biblical guide to hope.

553
00:39:23,080 --> 00:39:27,280
But along the way, there's some hard truths that we address.

554
00:39:27,280 --> 00:39:32,880
And as I was writing, I remember saying to God, God, this feels too hard.

555
00:39:32,880 --> 00:39:35,040
No one's going to want to read this.

556
00:39:35,040 --> 00:39:37,660
This feels really difficult.

557
00:39:37,660 --> 00:39:40,480
People just want a hug, right?

558
00:39:40,480 --> 00:39:44,400
Not necessarily like this.

559
00:39:44,400 --> 00:39:49,040
And the more I wrote and the more I followed his leading, I realized truth is the ultimate

560
00:39:49,040 --> 00:39:52,960
comfort and that it is the lasting comfort.

561
00:39:52,960 --> 00:40:02,640
It is what will lead us to the other side with restoration and redemption and faith

562
00:40:02,640 --> 00:40:11,000
that is renewed and awakened in a way that I think oftentimes only suffering can bring

563
00:40:11,000 --> 00:40:12,080
about.

564
00:40:12,080 --> 00:40:15,320
And so we're seeing the fruits of that already.

565
00:40:15,320 --> 00:40:20,360
It's even in the pre-launch and the pre-order, the few people who have read it, I've just

566
00:40:20,360 --> 00:40:26,840
been amazed at what God is doing through these words.

567
00:40:26,840 --> 00:40:31,640
And it's just been a real honor to steward this concept.

568
00:40:31,640 --> 00:40:35,760
And I just hope that it can help so many people.

569
00:40:35,760 --> 00:40:41,640
Brooke, as you look back over your journey, you've shared so much, but is there any other

570
00:40:41,640 --> 00:40:46,000
truth that you have learned that you want others to experience?

571
00:40:46,000 --> 00:40:54,520
I want others to realize that there is nothing worth pursuing more than knowing Jesus and

572
00:40:54,520 --> 00:40:58,040
that it is in our suffering.

573
00:40:58,040 --> 00:41:06,320
This is our only opportunity, the side of heaven to know Jesus in this way.

574
00:41:06,320 --> 00:41:15,720
Eternity is coming and it is a beautiful reality and it will happen as the Bible describes

575
00:41:15,720 --> 00:41:16,720
it.

576
00:41:16,720 --> 00:41:19,800
But for now, this is our chance.

577
00:41:19,800 --> 00:41:26,120
This is our chance to kneel down beside Jesus in the garden of Gethsemane as he is sobbing,

578
00:41:26,120 --> 00:41:33,920
as he is grieving, and we get to kneel down and relate to him and know him in his suffering.

579
00:41:33,920 --> 00:41:35,440
This is our chance.

580
00:41:35,440 --> 00:41:40,600
And so I just say, don't dismiss suffering as something to rush through or get past or

581
00:41:40,600 --> 00:41:42,840
even just survive.

582
00:41:42,840 --> 00:41:52,840
This is a divine opportunity to know our suffering Savior and to relate to him and in turn, allow

583
00:41:52,840 --> 00:41:58,720
him to take this, take what the enemy meant for evil and turn it for our good.

584
00:41:58,720 --> 00:41:59,840
He will do it.

585
00:41:59,840 --> 00:42:03,840
He will do it, but it's up to us to accept the invitation of surrender.

586
00:42:03,840 --> 00:42:05,280
That is good.

587
00:42:05,280 --> 00:42:10,440
As we close, Brooke, would you share about a woman of the Bible who's inspired or encouraged

588
00:42:10,440 --> 00:42:12,520
or taught you something along the way?

589
00:42:12,520 --> 00:42:13,520
Sure.

590
00:42:13,520 --> 00:42:19,920
I am really into Mary Magdalene right now because I talk about her in my book a little

591
00:42:19,920 --> 00:42:25,560
bit too, but I believe that her life is really this incredible depiction of a controlled

592
00:42:25,560 --> 00:42:26,640
burn.

593
00:42:26,640 --> 00:42:30,000
She was saved from seven demons.

594
00:42:30,000 --> 00:42:31,720
Jesus cast out seven demons.

595
00:42:31,720 --> 00:42:33,520
So that's how we are introduced to her.

596
00:42:33,520 --> 00:42:35,720
So her life was a wildfire, right?

597
00:42:35,720 --> 00:42:40,200
And at the very presence of Jesus, he extinguished it.

598
00:42:40,200 --> 00:42:47,960
And she ended up loving, her love for Jesus was just undeniable.

599
00:42:47,960 --> 00:42:55,200
And so when the tables turned and Jesus was in his darkest hour, she was there and she

600
00:42:55,200 --> 00:42:56,240
didn't leave him.

601
00:42:56,240 --> 00:43:04,320
She stayed and her love kept her at the foot of the cross and then at the tomb.

602
00:43:04,320 --> 00:43:08,600
And I just see this beautiful picture of now a controlled burn where again, suffering has

603
00:43:08,600 --> 00:43:11,300
entered her world, but now it is bordered.

604
00:43:11,300 --> 00:43:17,840
It is bordered by her love for him, by his love for her, by his power that is displayed.

605
00:43:17,840 --> 00:43:26,960
And so what we see in that scene at the tomb of when Jesus comes back and she is so overjoyed.

606
00:43:26,960 --> 00:43:36,600
And he says, don't cling to me, but go and tell your brothers that my God is your God.

607
00:43:36,600 --> 00:43:42,240
And he's like, now the Holy, he's telling her soon, everything you have been wanting

608
00:43:42,240 --> 00:43:47,820
and desiring is going to come to pass because I'm going to actually be living in you.

609
00:43:47,820 --> 00:43:52,200
It's going to be so much better, Mary, than anything that you were hoping a return to

610
00:43:52,200 --> 00:43:53,200
normal.

611
00:43:53,200 --> 00:43:54,360
And that's the message for us.

612
00:43:54,360 --> 00:43:58,920
We so often just give me a return back to where I was back to what was normal, back

613
00:43:58,920 --> 00:44:03,880
to what I knew, what was familiar and God saying, don't ask me for a return to normal

614
00:44:03,880 --> 00:44:06,600
because I'm doing something new in you.

615
00:44:06,600 --> 00:44:11,680
And here is this woman who was, you know, demon possessed and now is an apostle to the

616
00:44:11,680 --> 00:44:17,600
apostles and she is raised up and she is elevated and she has given new life and new power and

617
00:44:17,600 --> 00:44:23,000
new awakening because of Jesus's death and resurrection.

618
00:44:23,000 --> 00:44:25,080
And the same is true for us.

619
00:44:25,080 --> 00:44:27,560
Don't just desire a return to normal.

620
00:44:27,560 --> 00:44:29,720
He has so much more for us.

621
00:44:29,720 --> 00:44:30,720
Amen.

622
00:44:30,720 --> 00:44:36,800
Well, what you've been saying at the end brings the passage in Philippians 3 verses 10 and

623
00:44:36,800 --> 00:44:38,280
11 to mind.

624
00:44:38,280 --> 00:44:44,080
The apostle Paul, who we know, you know, if you've read the epistles know that he had

625
00:44:44,080 --> 00:44:48,720
a few trials of his own along the way, but he expresses the yearning of his heart and

626
00:44:48,720 --> 00:44:52,800
the NIV reads, I want to know Christ.

627
00:44:52,800 --> 00:44:59,920
Yes, to know the power is of his resurrection and participate in his sufferings, becoming

628
00:44:59,920 --> 00:45:02,280
like him in his death.

629
00:45:02,280 --> 00:45:06,800
So somehow attaining to the resurrection from the dead.

630
00:45:06,800 --> 00:45:12,280
Dear friends, Brooke has lived this verse in a very real way and is convinced that knowing

631
00:45:12,280 --> 00:45:14,560
Christ is worth the journey.

632
00:45:14,560 --> 00:45:19,140
If you're struggling, I encourage you to get a copy of controlled burn and let God minister

633
00:45:19,140 --> 00:45:20,440
to you through it.

634
00:45:20,440 --> 00:45:23,320
Brooke, would you take a moment and pray for our listeners?

635
00:45:23,320 --> 00:45:34,720
Father, thank you that you are in every moment, our highs, our lows, our joys, our anguish.

636
00:45:34,720 --> 00:45:38,520
Thank you, Jesus, that you know.

637
00:45:38,520 --> 00:45:45,120
You know what every person listening is feeling.

638
00:45:45,120 --> 00:45:49,760
You have felt that you have been there.

639
00:45:49,760 --> 00:45:58,480
And so I just ask Holy Spirit, will you fall afresh on the listeners, on everyone who is

640
00:45:58,480 --> 00:46:07,440
wrestling right now with pain, with hardship, with suffering, with indecision and doubt?

641
00:46:07,440 --> 00:46:14,200
Holy Spirit, will you crack open these fire followers, these flowers that bloom when the

642
00:46:14,200 --> 00:46:17,200
heat shocks their shells open?

643
00:46:17,200 --> 00:46:25,040
Will you inside open these fire followers of revelation and truth?

644
00:46:25,040 --> 00:46:33,920
I ask for awakening a hunger, a new hunger, God, that comes from somewhere totally unexpected.

645
00:46:33,920 --> 00:46:41,880
I pray against the enemy's schemes and tactics to sow doubt and deconstruction in the minds

646
00:46:41,880 --> 00:46:43,920
of those who are walking through hard times.

647
00:46:43,920 --> 00:46:45,600
I say no.

648
00:46:45,600 --> 00:46:51,720
And I ask Jesus, you come to the rescue and show that suffering, although not of your

649
00:46:51,720 --> 00:46:58,360
plan, can be used for beautiful, beautiful redemption.

650
00:46:58,360 --> 00:47:05,960
And so we ask in our pain, will you purify us and our suffering, will you sanctify us?

651
00:47:05,960 --> 00:47:16,320
Will you deliver us, Father, into a new reality with you, a new understanding, a new awakening?

652
00:47:16,320 --> 00:47:17,880
You will do it, Father.

653
00:47:17,880 --> 00:47:22,680
And I pray that you give us the strength to surrender in your precious name.

654
00:47:22,680 --> 00:47:23,680
Amen.

655
00:47:23,680 --> 00:47:24,920
Well, thank you for tuning in.

656
00:47:24,920 --> 00:47:29,240
Check out our show notes at hergodstory.org for scriptures and other information we talked

657
00:47:29,240 --> 00:47:30,240
about.

658
00:47:30,240 --> 00:47:34,200
And remember to get your free six-week devotional on Women of the Bible there.

659
00:47:34,200 --> 00:47:38,400
We'd also love to pray with you on our 24-7 prayer and text line.

660
00:47:38,400 --> 00:47:48,100
So give us a call or text anytime at 855-459-CARE or email us at prayer at somebody cares.org.

661
00:47:48,100 --> 00:47:52,640
And now, dear friends, I leave you with a blessing from 2 Thessalonians 2 verses 16

662
00:47:52,640 --> 00:47:53,960
and 17.

663
00:47:53,960 --> 00:48:00,180
Now may the Lord Jesus Christ Himself and God our Father who loved us and by His grace

664
00:48:00,180 --> 00:48:07,240
gave us eternal comfort and a wonderful hope, comfort you and strengthen you in every good

665
00:48:07,240 --> 00:48:09,720
thing you do and say.

666
00:48:09,720 --> 00:48:13,760
Her God Story is a ministry of Somebody Cares America and international.

667
00:48:13,760 --> 00:48:24,480
To find out more about or support the ministry, go to somebodycares.org.