I Want to Cancel Christmas This Year, Katy Stevens' Story

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Hey friends, welcome to one of our special Her God Story Christmas episodes.

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We've got a great story that we pray will build your faith and equip you in your walk

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with the Lord.

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I'm your host, Jodie Chiricosta, ministry leader at Somebody Cares America International, author

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and traveler on this journey of faith.

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I love Christmas.

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I love the twinkling lights and joyful music, the special meals, the extended times with

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family, the more abundant opportunities to focus on Jesus and His incarnation.

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I love the giving of gifts and sharing God's love in tangible ways with those who might

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be struggling, which quite frankly has probably been most of us at one time or another.

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And if you've lived very long at all, I'm sure you've discovered like me that life

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does not always cooperate with our plans and celebrations, even Christmas.

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Isaiah 9:6 tells us that Jesus, the child born in a manger thousands of years ago, is

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a wonderful counselor, a mighty God, our everlasting Father and the Prince of Peace, and that the

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increase of His government and peace will have no end.

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When your world is overwhelming, like my friend's Katy Stevens world was just a few years ago,

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it's good to remember who Jesus is, our Prince of Peace.

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Listen, as Katy shares her story.

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I want to cancel Christmas this year.

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My husband, Matt, looks up from the computer where he's working in his office.

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I've definitely caught his attention, but he doesn't look completely surprised.

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It's early December 2019 and what has been one of the most intense seasons we've ever

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faced as a family.

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We are in the weeds with any family's worst nightmare, cancer.

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The one who has been called into the ring to fight is our oldest son.

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At 26 years old, Josh is battling a sudden diagnosis from a few months earlier.

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Stage four, B cell non-Hodgkin's lymphoma.

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We've been given no choice but to dive into a world of oncology filled with doctors, new

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terminology, chemo, and talk of potential transplants.

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And let's not forget fear and uncertainty.

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To say it's been a lot would be an understatement.

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And we as a family are feeling every bit of it.

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Now don't get me wrong, I love Christmas.

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In fact, it's my favorite holiday.

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I love it all.

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Family, gifts, food, decorations.

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I grew up in a family where Christmas was a big deal.

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We prepped for weeks.

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We didn't just attend church on Christmas Eve.

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We sang for it every year.

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This day was filled with celebration with our own family and our extended family.

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And as an adult, ever since our boys have been little, we've celebrated our own traditions.

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New pajamas on Christmas Eve, exchanging names for stockings, French toast casserole in the

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morning, gifts for everyone, including the dogs.

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I'm just really not feeling it this year.

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I continue feeling my eyes begin to well up and my voice shaking a little.

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I don't want to put up the tree, prepare food, make cookies or buy presents.

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Since Josh has moved back in and is living in the front room, we really don't have any

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room anyway, which is fine.

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I don't feel like going to church and singing Christmas hymns while I hold a candle.

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We can talk to the boys, but can we just let ourselves off the hook and treat Christmas

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like any other day this year?

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I pause my diatribe and with tears now on my cheeks, I wait for him to respond.

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He nods.

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I knew he would get it.

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He's been treading the same intense water I have.

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We talk a little more confirming that this is the decision we really want to make and

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about logistics, not that there are many when you're canceling a celebration.

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We decide a conversation with our other two sons, Micah and Jacob is the next logical

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step.

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At 20 and 18 years old, they take it in stride.

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They've long since abandoned the thought of Santa and Christmas magic and being in the

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weeds with the rest of us, understand the need for respite.

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As the days go by in the calendar careens toward the 25th without any permission from

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me, I begin to feel the absence of the weight that has been lifted from my shoulders.

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I'm free to process my cancer related grief and coping while I continue working and

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managing my people, my household, and of course, our cancer warrior.

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Though I'm all about giving Jesus a decent birthday celebration, it sure is a relief

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to not have to be knocking out to do lists that are gift stocking and Christmas cookie

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related.

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But I noticed something in the midst of all of this.

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Though there are some things that are missing, what is still intact is being together.

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We aren't buying things for each other, but we are enjoying more time with each other.

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In our choice to focus on the daily and mundane, we're feeling the gift of it.

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And before I know it, we approach a Wednesday that happens to be the 25th of December, formerly

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known in our house as Christmas Day.

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We sleep in, we eat breakfast, though there's no French toast, casserole or the opening

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of stockings.

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I feel the absence of the pressure.

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We decide that in the void of the typical Yuletide ham, cheesy casseroles and other

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holiday delicacies, we are going to order Chinese food, a boatload of Chinese food.

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Yes, we are drowning our overwhelm ness in California rolls, rice noodles, sweet and

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sour shrimp and pepper steak.

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And it is very, very good.

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The freedom from normal holiday expectations is becoming more and more empowering.

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And yes, I have some moments.

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I walk past the front room where all of my guys are watching a movie and picture for

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a moment how the room would normally be on this day.

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A festive tree, lights hanging around the room, snowmen dancing on any free space, the

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crackle of a roaring fire and the seasonal scent of cinnamon.

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It's only in my imagination since the room is actually taken up by a bed, prescription

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bottles and the stench of medical illness, all reminding us of our current reality.

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I cry a little, I process, I grab a dog and snuggle, and ultimately, I'm okay.

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Are we cutting ourselves short by not allowing the holiday to serve as a welcome distraction?

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I don't know.

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But I'm realizing that the things we can offer each other on this uncelebrated Noel is presence,

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not wrapped presence.

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Being there, presence.

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When your shopping list consists of sharing a meal and a movie and you experience connection

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over commercialization, it changes things.

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You realize that the things that have always been important are there despite not rising

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to the typical expectations of holiday busyness.

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This is a holiday that has made way for grief and struggle, and we're trying to play nice

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with it.

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Grieving comes in all sorts of forms.

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It's sneaky and mean, but at the same time, it's necessary.

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And in seasons of hardship and holidays, especially when they make strange bedfellows, we have

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to give ourselves grace to let things be what they are.

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Do we like it?

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No.

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Do we understand why things have to be the way they are?

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No.

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But there's something very freeing about surrendering.

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I can't control that my son is fighting cancer and how much it sucks and that it scares me

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and makes me really sad.

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But I can control freeing myself from all kinds of holiday pressures that I simply don't

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need this year.

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The rest of the story is a happier one.

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Almost exactly one year later, Josh found out he was in remission.

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But again, this was not without a fight.

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About a month after our non Christmas Christmas, we found out that the cancer had made an unwelcome

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residence in Josh's brain.

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The fight amped up again with more chemo, radiation, multiple hospital stays, and ultimately

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the thing that did the trick.

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CAR T cell therapy, which I really recommend you read up on.

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It's a fascinating medical breakthrough.

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Oh, and if you're tracking the timeline, the world shut down for a pandemic through all

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of this too.

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The Christmas of 2020 was believe it or not, a welcomed normal one for our family.

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Now I know nothing about 2020 was normal for anyone, but in our world, we had the trauma

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free space to breathe and find our holiday spirit again.

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As a matter of fact, the world slowing down maybe gave us a new appreciation for having

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time.

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We had time to process, put up the tree, make Christmas foods and bless each other with

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thoughtful gifts.

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And through it all, these two Christmases had this very valuable thing in common.

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Us.

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We all still had each other with and without all of the holiday extras.

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Ultimately it's not about the things you can order and wrap.

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It's about those things that are more valuable than anything on our Amazon wish lists.

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Time listening, being there, each other.

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We have so much for which to be grateful, but friends, sometimes life is downright hard

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and things just suck.

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Give yourself permission to feel and process and when necessary, take a break.

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Because the best thing you can do is not do something.

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Yes, holidays are important, but you are more important.

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The best way to celebrate is often to listen to that nudge to take care of yourself.

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Maybe Jesus will understand.

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He may even split some California rolls, rice noodles, sweet and sour shrimp and pepper

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steak with you.

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Thank you, Katy.

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That was so good.

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You know, Katie's story reminds me of the story of Hannah in first Samuel one.

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Every year Hannah's husband Elkanah took his family to Shiloh to celebrate and offer

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sacrifices.

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He loved Hannah dearly, but he also had another wife and Hannah was barren in a day when the

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worth of a woman was often equated with the number of children, especially sons they had.

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Her rival had several children and she wouldn't let Hannah forget it.

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Her annual trip to Shiloh was supposed to be a joyful occasion, but that was when Hannah

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felt her pain the most.

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She could not join in, but she did go to the tent of the Lord and poured her heart out

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to him and got heard.

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He spoke to Hannah through Eli the priest telling her to go in peace.

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May the God of Israel grant the request you've asked of him.

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Those words were prophetic in Hannah's life.

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They spoke life to her and later that year she had her first child, Samuel, who became

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a great judge and prophet of Israel.

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Like Katie shared, it's okay to change your holiday routine.

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Hannah did too.

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Dial back the festivities when necessary.

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Even cancel the external celebrations if needed.

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Jesus, who is God with us, the Prince of Peace, will still be in your midst.

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When Jesus walked the earth, he said in John 16 33, I have told you these things so that

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in me you may have peace.

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In this world you will have trouble, but take heart, I have overcome the world.

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We all encounter trials and struggles in this life.

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Maybe you or your family is dealing with a health issue or relationship challenge or

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deep loss this year.

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As the Christmas season comes, remember the one who has overcome them all is with you.

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And if you have confessed Jesus as your Savior and believe in your heart that God raised

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him from the dead, he is in you.

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You too are an overcomer.

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So if you're celebrating full throttle this year, don't lose the Lord's presence in

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the gaiety and the fun.

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Make time to focus on the reason for the season.

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And if you're not looking forward at all to Christmas, I encourage you to make time

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to enjoy the Lord's presence.

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He's with you and he has overcome the world, let me pray for you.

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Heavenly Father, I cannot begin to thank you enough for the gift of your Son Jesus.

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Because of his incarnation, we now have God with us, the Prince of Peace in our midst.

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And no matter what is going on in the lives of those who listen to this podcast, I ask

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that your presence will be experienced in a new way this Christmas season.

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Take a word to each of them that reminds them of your overcoming power in and for them.

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Give them peace that passes all understanding to guard their hearts and minds in Christ

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Jesus.

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And it is in his name I pray.

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Amen.

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Thank you for tuning in.

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In our show notes at hergodstory.org, you'll find links to scriptures and other helpful

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information.

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Don't forget to sign up for our periodic emails and download a free devotional of Women

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of the Bible.

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It's a great way to start the new year.

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We'd love to pray for you on our 24-7 prayer and text line.

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Give us a call anytime at 855-459-CARE or email us at prayer at somebodycares.org.

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And now dear friends, I bless you also with the words of Eli from 1 Samuel 1 and 17.

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Go in peace and may the God of Israel grant you the request you have asked him.

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Merry Christmas.

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Her God Story is a ministry of Somebody Cares America and international.

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To find out more about or support the ministry, go to somebodycares.org.