Love With Arms Wide Open, Kelly Florence’s Story

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Hey friends, you know I love a good story, especially if it's a God story that equips

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and encourages us in our walk with the Lord.

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I'm your host Jodie Chiricosta, ministry leader at Somebody Cares America and International,

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author and traveler on this journey of faith.

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My guest today has a story that will challenge you to look and interact with those who do

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not know Christ in a different way.

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Kelly Florence is a beautiful woman of God, a deep thinker, and a dear friend.

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She is a wife, mother of three, and a published artist.

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We met at some women's ministry events at our church and became prayer partners during

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a time when we both had dearly loved people who were close to us struggling with serious

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illness and some other issues.

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When I think of Kelly, I'm reminded of 2 Corinthians 5 verses 14 through 20A.

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The New Living Translation says, Christ's love controls us.

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Since we believe that Christ died for all, we also believe that we have all died to our

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old life.

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He died for everyone so that those who receive his new life will no longer live for themselves.

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Instead, they will live for Christ who died and was raised for them.

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So we have to stop evaluating or judging others from a human point of view.

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At one time, we thought of Christ merely from a human point of view.

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How differently we know him now.

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This means that anyone who belongs to Christ has become a new person.

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The old life is gone.

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A new life has begun.

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And all of this is a gift from God who brought us back to himself through Christ.

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And God has given us this task of reconciling people to him.

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For God was in Christ reconciling the world to himself, no longer counting people's sins

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against them.

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And he gave us this wonderful message of reconciliation.

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So we are Christ's ambassadors.

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God is making his appeal through us.

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Kelly is definitely an ambassador for Christ and a reconciler.

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But for you to truly understand what I'm talking about, you need to hear her God story.

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Welcome Kelly.

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Thanks Jody.

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Like the Do Re Mi song from The Sound of Music, let's start at the very beginning because

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it's a very good place to start.

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What was life like for little Kelly?

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Oh, it was a really sweet time.

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You and I have talked about it briefly that I loved my parents.

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They were just terrific.

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Rural upbringing.

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My family is a farm family in North Carolina.

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It was a very enjoyable outdoor, loving, supportive, nature-driven childhood.

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It did not have a lot of trauma to overcome.

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In some ways, it has made me a little tentative about my overall life story and testimony

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because it was unexceptional.

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It was really sweet.

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And aside from a little bit of sibling squabbles, and you probably have food at yourself, you

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just think, oh, there are people who've really had to overcome quite a lot.

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And I feel super blessed that the Lord really made that a safe space for me to grow up.

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Three older brothers who have really been examples of how Jesus is a big brother to

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us.

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They have been caring and they've gone ahead of me in life and plowed some rows that I

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didn't have to plow myself first.

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So they were very enjoyable.

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And it was, I would almost say, idyllic.

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Yeah, it sounds like you had an ordinary childhood.

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It was free from really burdens and stress.

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So where in your story did you put your faith in Christ?

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And what was the chain of events that brought that about?

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So my mom and dad were wonderful examples of love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness,

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faithfulness, and self-control.

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The Bible was not specifically taught in my home.

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How to be a better disciple was not necessarily taught and verbalized in my home.

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But my parents were really great disciples of the core necessities of a life in Christ.

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And did not make it difficult for me at all to approach God the Father as a father, because

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fathers are great in my world.

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Or approach Christ as a nurturer, because moms and nurturers were great in my childhood.

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We did attend church just a bit when I was younger.

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My parents had made it a pattern to go to church.

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Their work schedules eventually kind of precluded that.

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You know, to look back on one of your previous podcasts, The Power of Friendship, I had some

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friends in sixth grade who just, public school in North Carolina, just grabbed me and said,

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hey, why don't you come to youth group?

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And I had kind of just been walking around in my own mind as a child, thinking about,

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you know, ghosts, the supernatural, things that you can't see with your eyes.

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And once or twice I had done a couple of little God experiments.

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You know, if I flip this Bible open to this page, what will it...

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Those kind of immature forays into who's out there and who's listening to me when I'm in

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my private thoughts.

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And so taking them up on their invitation in sixth grade, I mean, honestly, what are

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we all looking for at that age?

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Society, community.

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I was looking for truth, but it was all embedded in the church experience.

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That was a really wonderful progression.

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Went to church with them and loved the message I heard then.

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And that was middle school, which is kind of a rocky time for everybody.

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So there were friend dramas and other intrusions of the natural world, you know, hormones and

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all those kinds of things.

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But so still a big thanks to the friends that I'm still friends with who invited me to church

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at that point.

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So shout out to Laura and Ann in Tarbera, North Carolina and other places.

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So it was real just going with friends who just had this loose connection with me at

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middle school.

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Enjoyed that, found some truth there and stuck with it for a year, year and a half.

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Joined choir, joined a youth group, stayed active, went on retreats and went on summer

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trips with the youth group.

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And so there was a really strong thread there before it was even being talked about of inclusion.

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I was totally included in that youth group and in that choir during the year and a half

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or two years.

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I sort of made this exploration of what is truth and what resonates with me.

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So how did you explore it?

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I mean, you were going, but were you doing other things you had said before you were,

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you know, count testing God occasionally in your young life?

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But I know you're a really thoughtful person.

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So that young age, what was that thought process?

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So as I was listening, you know, through the lessons and we had some small groups, you

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know, those nuggets of truth stand out to you.

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And I'm sure at one point I had heard the scripture, you know, count the cost, a good

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builder counts the cost before you start building.

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And so I knew this was truth.

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I was hearing, I wanted to make a commitment.

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I saw people getting baptized because they got saved in a Baptist church.

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And that was a very real tenet of what they did and how they functioned.

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I just made a commitment at that point.

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I really want to know what I'm doing before I do this.

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I don't want this to be a whim.

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And it had taken months and months.

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And I committed to read the Bible all the way through once before I made a commitment

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to move forward with baptism or, you know, requesting baptism or walking to the front

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to accept Christ.

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So in sixth grade, you decided to read the whole Bible through, which is remarkable.

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It would have been going on to eighth grade, I would say, because I was actually 15 when

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I got baptized.

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So like I said, I really, it was a progression and it was a beautiful thing to be included

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with this group of people.

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And just they acted as if I was a truth seeker, you know, just like kids who had grown up

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in that church.

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I did not grow up in that church.

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I was a big reader.

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So for people who are not big readers, I can see, I mean, I have kids who are not big readers

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and they prefer to engage in the Word maybe through a podcast like this or through actual

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real events, real life events.

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But it was relatively easy for me to access the Word and get through it.

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What did I get out of it?

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Seventh and eighth grader, you know, the Lord only knows.

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But I felt as though I was being a thorough person.

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And most of my serious progressions in the Word and intersections in the Word have had

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to come through some sweat and tears and waiting and inner tension.

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I think that's just how I'm built.

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I just have to.

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I think you've mentioned to me in the past when we've talked that once you made that

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commitment, there was no turning back for you.

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I was really not tempted toward daring behavior.

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I didn't find it appealing.

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I had some family members who participated in daring behavior and I could see the consequences.

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I wasn't attracted to risky behavior and daring behavior.

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Anxiety and the inner dialogue for me made me almost silent around other people and almost

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withdrawn.

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And making that commitment to Christ just made me see the scriptures in a whole new way that

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I had the ultimate big brother, I had the ultimate defender, I had a king and the Lord

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who was going to ride before me.

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It changed a fairly anxious childhood into a much more courageous and dignified.

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And so I had inclusion first and hung around this youth group and then salvation.

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I knew I wanted to commit to Christ.

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And then the playing out of sanctification, of course, has just taken years.

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You know, for all of us.

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No, that commitment, I didn't run away from it.

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I didn't have wayward years during college where I didn't follow Christ.

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My marriages have been, you know, took to lovely godly men.

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And through those years, I just experienced what does it mean for God to be faithful,

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a faithful father, and expecting him to essentially be, I guess we would all say, a new and improved

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version of my real life dad, who is really terrific, but, you know, can only be faithful

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as long as he lives and can only be faithful to the extent that he's human.

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Right.

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So, but living throughout some of those things was great for me to see the consistency of

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Christ really was good medicine for my anxiety.

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To see the faithfulness played out day after day, year after year was the medicine for

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my anxiety at that stage of life and seeing God's attentiveness to very great detail.

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And as we'll see later in your story, that anxiety could have played a huge havoc on

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your life if you hadn't been able to conquer that as a young person.

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You are such a gifted artist.

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When you were young, was that part of your life?

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Did that play a decision about what you wanted to do after high school, what your dreams

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were at that point?

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I wouldn't say it was a burning passion at that point.

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It wasn't a fully fledged ministry or calling.

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I was bookish and also enjoyed art, but I, you know, ironically I knew I did not want

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to be a teacher and in my vision that was standing in front of a classroom with other

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people's children.

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So I shied away from the English literature aspect of things, but ultimately became a

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homeschool mom.

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So that's kind of funny.

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I just taught and taught and taught, but my own kids.

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Right.

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But I went to college and pursued a graphic design degree there with an English minor

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and enjoyed that and really, and this plays into my thought process for later to the anxiety

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and the need to perform, which many of us, even if we're not anxious people strive under

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that.

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Sure.

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You know, what did I think a successful college experience was going to be making great grades,

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maybe getting elected to head up a couple of clubs, definitely making a community of

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people who were like-minded.

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And I think we all kind of have these perfectionistic visions of who we'd like to be in this setting.

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And with maturity, you know, you realize, oh, I went to college to learn more about

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me and who I am and how I can function in this world.

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And the ideal college experience, you learn more about how the world works and philosophies

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that you can apply to how the world works.

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Or reject.

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And utilize those things to approach your philosophy for life and how that grows out

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of your maturity progress.

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So not long after college, you got married.

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And how did that relationship develop?

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Because you know, you don't jump into things typically.

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You-

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Right.

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There's a process.

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You process them.

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A really close group of wonderful friends went to church with them, kids I had gone

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to college with graduated and stayed there and became a church community and a local

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community.

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And there was one unsaved young man who was on staff there and had befriended a number

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of our church friends.

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And he was dynamic and funny and ridiculous.

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And so several of them had been inviting them to church.

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And way in the background, I love this too, was a praying grandma.

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And I think just the power of praying grandma is stunningly affirmed over and over again.

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I mean, sure, praying moms and dads, those are great too.

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But for people who are empowered to pray past their own generation and past their own lifetime,

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that takes a lot of vision and a lot of faith.

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David ultimately got saved and attended church and we were married for six years.

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Before I committed to marriage with him, I spent a lot of time praying and sometimes

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fasting and was very concerned because I had been a serious Christian since I was 15.

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And he just came to Christ.

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I also had a childhood that was not filled with drama and trauma and came to the Lord

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when I was six.

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And I look back and I think my testimony is all the things that could have happened in

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my life that did not.

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I was saved from all those same things.

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I just didn't have to experience them.

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People who maybe didn't come to know the Lord until later in life, they have the scars from

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those and for whatever reason, God saved me from those.

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He has a reason in everyone's life.

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He loves us all equally.

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You know, he has different purposes for us too.

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And in a lot of senses when he saves us from something like that, he may be saving our

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children from generational issues.

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Absolutely.

239
00:15:08,960 --> 00:15:15,520
So he's saving future generations when he just stops that trauma here and now.

240
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Being married to David and that was a wonderful thing.

241
00:15:17,680 --> 00:15:22,840
We had a glorious six years together.

242
00:15:22,840 --> 00:15:30,940
Really enjoyed him and he brought the same fullness and richness and robust enjoyment

243
00:15:30,940 --> 00:15:36,240
to Christian life that he had brought to his pagan life.

244
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So you say six years.

245
00:15:37,680 --> 00:15:43,800
I mean, I know, you know, not long after your first child, that was kind of about six years

246
00:15:43,800 --> 00:15:44,800
in.

247
00:15:44,800 --> 00:15:45,800
So what happened?

248
00:15:45,800 --> 00:15:51,080
My eldest was four months old and David and I had been married for six years.

249
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He had graduated from college.

250
00:15:53,120 --> 00:15:58,120
We had gone back, sent him back to college to finish a teaching certification.

251
00:15:58,120 --> 00:16:03,160
We were just on a little small family trip, enjoying ourselves out in the country and

252
00:16:03,160 --> 00:16:12,280
another driver missed his stop sign and continued through the stop sign and ran into us.

253
00:16:12,280 --> 00:16:17,040
That flipped our car a number of times, which eventually came to rest against a light pole.

254
00:16:17,040 --> 00:16:21,040
So I was in the car, David was in the car, our four month old was in the car in a car

255
00:16:21,040 --> 00:16:24,960
seat and David did not survive that car accident.

256
00:16:24,960 --> 00:16:32,440
So I was pinned in the car and they came with jaws of life and got me out and got Graham

257
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out.

258
00:16:33,440 --> 00:16:36,280
I had a broken femur at that point.

259
00:16:36,280 --> 00:16:41,680
And for people who don't have a medical background, it's very difficult to break a femur.

260
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That's the largest bone in your body and your thigh was transported to the hospital.

261
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Long, long, long, long ambulance seemed to last forever.

262
00:16:49,000 --> 00:16:53,640
The ambulance ride and Graham and I arrived at the hospital and David as well.

263
00:16:53,640 --> 00:16:58,840
Now the emergency people are not allowed to tell you on the scene whether another person

264
00:16:58,840 --> 00:17:03,640
of your party has passed away or what they don't report on other people's condition.

265
00:17:03,640 --> 00:17:05,760
And that's out of concern for you.

266
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They want you to focus on you in that moment.

267
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And that's right, that's rightly so.

268
00:17:13,560 --> 00:17:17,560
But I pretty well knew that David had passed away in that car accident.

269
00:17:17,560 --> 00:17:22,800
I could see from the looks on their faces and the lack of attention they were devoting

270
00:17:22,800 --> 00:17:23,800
to him at that point.

271
00:17:23,800 --> 00:17:28,200
They were fully focused on me and the baby at that point.

272
00:17:28,200 --> 00:17:31,800
I arrived at the hospital and in the emergency room.

273
00:17:31,800 --> 00:17:37,500
This has always been a very meaningful thing to me in the face of tragedy and devastation.

274
00:17:37,500 --> 00:17:42,280
One of the emergency room doctors, I guess, was given the task of coming to me and saying,

275
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you know, Mrs. Florence, you're stable.

276
00:17:44,080 --> 00:17:45,320
The baby is stable.

277
00:17:45,320 --> 00:17:46,760
Here's our plan.

278
00:17:46,760 --> 00:17:52,560
You need to know that your husband has passed away and won't be receiving medical care.

279
00:17:52,560 --> 00:17:58,840
And in that moment, the Spirit of the Lord stirred up in me.

280
00:17:58,840 --> 00:18:00,020
It was just truth.

281
00:18:00,020 --> 00:18:02,980
It was just the truth of the moment.

282
00:18:02,980 --> 00:18:08,200
And I was able to say, you know what, thank you for confirming that for me.

283
00:18:08,200 --> 00:18:17,160
I want you to know that I know Christ Jesus and that David Lane knew Christ Jesus and

284
00:18:17,160 --> 00:18:24,120
that I know there's a Father God who is taking him home.

285
00:18:24,120 --> 00:18:27,640
And I am okay affirming that.

286
00:18:27,640 --> 00:18:33,360
And I want you to know the same Father God is going to look after me in his absence.

287
00:18:33,360 --> 00:18:39,120
And there was a real hush that fell over that emergency room in that moment.

288
00:18:39,120 --> 00:18:45,040
And it just, there was no other truth I could tell at that moment.

289
00:18:45,040 --> 00:18:51,680
That was the only truth that I was living, you know.

290
00:18:51,680 --> 00:18:57,520
So there wasn't an opportunity to be shy about it or anxious about it.

291
00:18:57,520 --> 00:19:01,720
I just knew what I knew, the facts.

292
00:19:01,720 --> 00:19:07,760
Interestingly later in my hospital room, one of the ER techs came up to visit me a number

293
00:19:07,760 --> 00:19:08,760
of days later.

294
00:19:08,760 --> 00:19:11,920
I was in the hospital in traction for a couple of weeks.

295
00:19:11,920 --> 00:19:17,660
And he said, you know, I see a lot in this ER and most of it makes me believe there is

296
00:19:17,660 --> 00:19:25,320
no God and that human beings may even be a wasted effort.

297
00:19:25,320 --> 00:19:29,440
I see knife fights, I see drunk drivers.

298
00:19:29,440 --> 00:19:34,400
He said, but what you were able to say in that moment, I've never heard anything like

299
00:19:34,400 --> 00:19:35,400
it.

300
00:19:35,400 --> 00:19:41,520
And I may not hear anything like it again, but I've been thinking about it ever since.

301
00:19:41,520 --> 00:19:44,800
And that was a week, week and a half.

302
00:19:44,800 --> 00:19:48,000
And I was heavily drugged and in a lot of pain and in traction.

303
00:19:48,000 --> 00:19:54,080
I don't think my follow on testimony was quite as powerful as my initial testimony in that

304
00:19:54,080 --> 00:19:55,080
moment.

305
00:19:55,080 --> 00:19:57,280
But I just encouraged him and said, it's truth.

306
00:19:57,280 --> 00:19:58,280
It is the truth.

307
00:19:58,280 --> 00:19:59,280
I live.

308
00:19:59,280 --> 00:20:00,280
It's the only truth I have.

309
00:20:00,280 --> 00:20:03,680
But I know it beyond knowing.

310
00:20:03,680 --> 00:20:10,300
That is how the Lord ministered in that moment, even in traction.

311
00:20:10,300 --> 00:20:11,600
And that is so sweet.

312
00:20:11,600 --> 00:20:18,840
The Lord does come in those moments and surround us with his comfort.

313
00:20:18,840 --> 00:20:25,760
But then you had to walk out a new reality that was quite different than the joyful,

314
00:20:25,760 --> 00:20:28,160
full of life reality that you had.

315
00:20:28,160 --> 00:20:30,520
I mean, you have a four month old baby.

316
00:20:30,520 --> 00:20:31,520
You're far from home.

317
00:20:31,520 --> 00:20:35,040
I mean, I'm sure you had friends, but it's not like family.

318
00:20:35,040 --> 00:20:39,120
So I mean, after you settled in, did that rattle your faith?

319
00:20:39,120 --> 00:20:40,960
Did you begin to question God?

320
00:20:40,960 --> 00:20:42,720
Where was he with you in that season?

321
00:20:42,720 --> 00:20:46,720
How did you know he was still your good father?

322
00:20:46,720 --> 00:20:50,160
I'm sad for people who don't experience this, maybe as keenly.

323
00:20:50,160 --> 00:20:54,280
I know there are believers who just have to go on logic because a lot of times the warm

324
00:20:54,280 --> 00:20:58,220
fuzzies don't show up for them for whatever reason.

325
00:20:58,220 --> 00:21:00,480
Maybe they're neurodivergent.

326
00:21:00,480 --> 00:21:06,600
Maybe some forms of mental health can take away from feeling the warm fuzzies that we

327
00:21:06,600 --> 00:21:09,680
feel in close communion and intimacy.

328
00:21:09,680 --> 00:21:17,200
However, I felt such a sense of intimacy and being cared for and love and support.

329
00:21:17,200 --> 00:21:20,720
Now, my family was a very important part of that.

330
00:21:20,720 --> 00:21:25,520
My mom and dad were amazing and David's mom and dad were amazing.

331
00:21:25,520 --> 00:21:31,480
I was able to move back home and recover at home because I left the hospital in a wheelchair.

332
00:21:31,480 --> 00:21:40,440
That being said, the moment I opened my mouth in prayer, Jesus felt very present.

333
00:21:40,440 --> 00:21:46,920
The moment I laid down and closed my eyes to go to sleep, I felt a companionship.

334
00:21:46,920 --> 00:21:54,400
Fortunately, my grief was a wholesome and healthy grief that just needed to happen.

335
00:21:54,400 --> 00:21:59,500
I said to myself, there are a certain number of tears that will need to be cried between

336
00:21:59,500 --> 00:22:05,680
the beginning of this dark tunnel and somewhere toward the light at the end of the tunnel.

337
00:22:05,680 --> 00:22:08,560
My work is just to do that grief work.

338
00:22:08,560 --> 00:22:12,720
Now, in retrospect, if I could go back and tell myself, I would say, find a grief support

339
00:22:12,720 --> 00:22:14,200
group, go do it.

340
00:22:14,200 --> 00:22:19,880
Again, I had moved back to a relatively rural area on the farm with my parents.

341
00:22:19,880 --> 00:22:23,560
That's been a very healing place for me, that location.

342
00:22:23,560 --> 00:22:24,560
My dad was amazing.

343
00:22:24,560 --> 00:22:25,560
He's still alive.

344
00:22:25,560 --> 00:22:27,960
My mom was very supportive.

345
00:22:27,960 --> 00:22:32,600
I have this metaphor, when we're dealing with little children and we're crossing a four-lane

346
00:22:32,600 --> 00:22:39,520
highway, you don't reach out to a small child and expect a hand grasp with fingers gripping

347
00:22:39,520 --> 00:22:40,520
you.

348
00:22:40,520 --> 00:22:44,640
If you really want to make sure they get across the highway, you just grab them by the wrist

349
00:22:44,640 --> 00:22:46,520
and you say, here we go.

350
00:22:46,520 --> 00:22:51,000
If necessary, you lift them bodily.

351
00:22:51,000 --> 00:22:58,800
I very much felt that this was a crazy, awful, potentially disastrous, demanding, chaotic

352
00:22:58,800 --> 00:23:00,600
time of my life.

353
00:23:00,600 --> 00:23:04,960
And yet, I really felt the grasp of the Lord's hand firmly.

354
00:23:04,960 --> 00:23:10,080
Was able to find a church body that really ministered to me, great pastoral leadership,

355
00:23:10,080 --> 00:23:12,360
good community close by.

356
00:23:12,360 --> 00:23:16,440
And the Lord even placed one of my very dearest prayer partners from college.

357
00:23:16,440 --> 00:23:20,500
She had no connection with Tarbra, and Tarbra's a town of about 10,000 people.

358
00:23:20,500 --> 00:23:23,000
Even after college, moved to Tarbra.

359
00:23:23,000 --> 00:23:28,520
And this was my prayer partner for the three years, my sophomore year to my senior year.

360
00:23:28,520 --> 00:23:32,800
And she lived in Tarbra and she worked at a hospital.

361
00:23:32,800 --> 00:23:37,740
So all my transitions from wheelchair to bathtub and regaining strength, she was able to really

362
00:23:37,740 --> 00:23:39,760
minister to me.

363
00:23:39,760 --> 00:23:42,680
So friendship there again is a powerful thing.

364
00:23:42,680 --> 00:23:46,360
So I remember you telling me that marriage was a really good fit for you.

365
00:23:46,360 --> 00:23:50,240
At this point, you're living back with your parents in a small community.

366
00:23:50,240 --> 00:23:51,960
Had a lot of eligible men there.

367
00:23:51,960 --> 00:23:54,400
But I know you got married again.

368
00:23:54,400 --> 00:23:55,680
So how did that transpire?

369
00:23:55,680 --> 00:23:56,680
I did.

370
00:23:56,680 --> 00:23:58,920
But it was difficult as a woman of faith.

371
00:23:58,920 --> 00:24:05,000
And at that point, I had enough maturity to realize, this is not going to be a quest for

372
00:24:05,000 --> 00:24:06,840
a cute companion.

373
00:24:06,840 --> 00:24:15,560
I had a child and was a widow and escalated into a different category of partnership.

374
00:24:15,560 --> 00:24:18,560
When that's your commitment to family.

375
00:24:18,560 --> 00:24:19,600
This is not negotiable.

376
00:24:19,600 --> 00:24:22,960
We are family and we come as a unit and here we are.

377
00:24:22,960 --> 00:24:26,920
In a way, when you have a tragedy like that, you feel especially vulnerable.

378
00:24:26,920 --> 00:24:28,760
You feel emotionally vulnerable.

379
00:24:28,760 --> 00:24:32,400
But also in a small community, I felt that a lot of people knew my business and sort

380
00:24:32,400 --> 00:24:36,980
of knew my family and the story of David's passing.

381
00:24:36,980 --> 00:24:41,560
So I couldn't just walk up to a person and start with a fresh slate.

382
00:24:41,560 --> 00:24:45,000
That was almost impossible.

383
00:24:45,000 --> 00:24:47,280
Details are known and stories are known.

384
00:24:47,280 --> 00:24:48,280
It was in the newspaper.

385
00:24:48,280 --> 00:24:53,160
I mean, it was a pretty notable car accident.

386
00:24:53,160 --> 00:24:56,400
Growing up in this small community, I did have friends, close friends who had gone from

387
00:24:56,400 --> 00:25:00,240
sixth grade all the way through high school because you end up in the same classes with

388
00:25:00,240 --> 00:25:01,780
the same people.

389
00:25:01,780 --> 00:25:04,200
We really ended up feeling like brothers and sisters.

390
00:25:04,200 --> 00:25:05,720
None of us dated each other.

391
00:25:05,720 --> 00:25:08,360
It was just like you were too close.

392
00:25:08,360 --> 00:25:09,800
I know too much about you.

393
00:25:09,800 --> 00:25:12,920
I've known you well as a sixth grader and now we are 18 years old.

394
00:25:12,920 --> 00:25:14,720
I'm never going to date you.

395
00:25:14,720 --> 00:25:16,720
But enjoyed that level of fellowship.

396
00:25:16,720 --> 00:25:23,560
And one of those fellows, Tommy Wambel, had served in the Navy as a Navy officer and often

397
00:25:23,560 --> 00:25:28,640
returned back home to Tarbera for visits to his family and business, visits his mom and

398
00:25:28,640 --> 00:25:31,440
dad and he would check in and just say hi.

399
00:25:31,440 --> 00:25:34,760
And during some of these conversations, he just kept saying, you know, I have this friend

400
00:25:34,760 --> 00:25:37,280
you should meet.

401
00:25:37,280 --> 00:25:40,620
At the time, I still felt very vulnerable and I thought I don't really want to get

402
00:25:40,620 --> 00:25:41,620
into that.

403
00:25:41,620 --> 00:25:47,800
I'm terrified of, you know, I guess in really kind of crass terms, we would say the meat

404
00:25:47,800 --> 00:25:49,560
market, right?

405
00:25:49,560 --> 00:25:55,000
Nobody wants to feel like, oh, I'm jumping back into this situation again.

406
00:25:55,000 --> 00:26:00,720
And I did feel lonely and I did feel made to be a married person.

407
00:26:00,720 --> 00:26:03,760
Carrying that with me, I just kept feeling like maybe it's too early.

408
00:26:03,760 --> 00:26:04,760
Maybe it's too early.

409
00:26:04,760 --> 00:26:08,240
This is about two years after David's passing and many people would say that was too early.

410
00:26:08,240 --> 00:26:13,520
But as a 29 year old and a 30 year old, you know, you do have an eye to the future and

411
00:26:13,520 --> 00:26:16,200
you think how is this all going to play out?

412
00:26:16,200 --> 00:26:20,960
Tommy kept pestering me and saying, you know, you really should, you should write my friend

413
00:26:20,960 --> 00:26:25,280
Greg or I have a phone number, but it'd be better to email.

414
00:26:25,280 --> 00:26:27,960
So this is in the very early days of email.

415
00:26:27,960 --> 00:26:31,040
Ultimately, Tommy was saying the same thing to Greg.

416
00:26:31,040 --> 00:26:35,600
Greg, you should write my friend Kelly because I mean, okay, she's single, she's widowed.

417
00:26:35,600 --> 00:26:39,400
And Greg would just hear that and think, well, are you kidding?

418
00:26:39,400 --> 00:26:44,520
What do I write her and say, hey, heard your husband passed away, interested in going out?

419
00:26:44,520 --> 00:26:52,120
I mean, to him, it just felt very uncourteous to dive into my personal life.

420
00:26:52,120 --> 00:26:54,160
And he is a man of great courtesy.

421
00:26:54,160 --> 00:26:59,240
What Tommy was not saying is, Greg, Kelly knows you exist.

422
00:26:59,240 --> 00:27:03,040
She would be open to hearing from you, but she's not going to initiate this because

423
00:27:03,040 --> 00:27:05,960
she doesn't walk around to give men her phone number.

424
00:27:05,960 --> 00:27:09,600
She doesn't write men that she's interested in.

425
00:27:09,600 --> 00:27:10,880
That's not who she is.

426
00:27:10,880 --> 00:27:12,760
You're going to have to take the first step.

427
00:27:12,760 --> 00:27:15,640
Tommy was never saying that to Greg.

428
00:27:15,640 --> 00:27:17,520
So not a very good matchmaker.

429
00:27:17,520 --> 00:27:21,040
Not real skilled at it.

430
00:27:21,040 --> 00:27:23,960
But the Lord uses the tools he has at his disposal.

431
00:27:23,960 --> 00:27:26,480
And that was Tommy on this day.

432
00:27:26,480 --> 00:27:29,280
Greg ultimately did not ever write me.

433
00:27:29,280 --> 00:27:34,360
And Tommy said, look, hey, I just want you to think about this as a lonely serviceman

434
00:27:34,360 --> 00:27:35,360
overseas.

435
00:27:35,360 --> 00:27:41,040
He said, just do like a mercy letter and send it to him.

436
00:27:41,040 --> 00:27:42,040
So I did.

437
00:27:42,040 --> 00:27:47,320
I sat down and I was feeling very put out, not enjoying being pressured into this kind

438
00:27:47,320 --> 00:27:48,600
of communication.

439
00:27:48,600 --> 00:27:50,320
So it started out pretty snarky.

440
00:27:50,320 --> 00:27:56,040
And it just said, hey, if the defense of our nation is left in the hands of men who cannot

441
00:27:56,040 --> 00:28:03,000
bring themselves to write a letter to a single woman thousands of miles away, then I'm concerned

442
00:28:03,000 --> 00:28:06,480
about the future of our nation.

443
00:28:06,480 --> 00:28:08,160
And he was where?

444
00:28:08,160 --> 00:28:09,880
He was in Japan at the time.

445
00:28:09,880 --> 00:28:12,320
You were in North Carolina.

446
00:28:12,320 --> 00:28:15,120
So he was very far away.

447
00:28:15,120 --> 00:28:19,880
And I, of course, didn't see what relevance he had to my life in North Carolina in a rural

448
00:28:19,880 --> 00:28:20,880
setting.

449
00:28:20,880 --> 00:28:25,920
And he thought it was hilarious and jumped on board and just wrote and wrote and wrote.

450
00:28:25,920 --> 00:28:35,840
The most glorious, companionable, open, transparent, funny, informed, culturally aware, great

451
00:28:35,840 --> 00:28:40,300
letters, very thoughtful and showed a good bit of wisdom for a guy who was still single

452
00:28:40,300 --> 00:28:42,320
in his thirties.

453
00:28:42,320 --> 00:28:46,680
And that was the kind of depth that needed as a mom and a widow and a mother.

454
00:28:46,680 --> 00:28:48,680
So on paper, he was great.

455
00:28:48,680 --> 00:28:51,920
And I used to kid him writing back, oh, let me guess, there's one guy in the room writing

456
00:28:51,920 --> 00:28:55,960
your comedy section and there's one guy in the room writing your book reviews and there's

457
00:28:55,960 --> 00:29:00,280
one guy in your room writing little, you know, Tinder notes to me as you get to know me.

458
00:29:00,280 --> 00:29:01,760
He was like, no, it's all one guy.

459
00:29:01,760 --> 00:29:05,520
I'm just so that kind of long distance.

460
00:29:05,520 --> 00:29:07,720
That was a very meaningful way to get to know him.

461
00:29:07,720 --> 00:29:16,160
I mean, really, we were confined to email letters for months and months and months.

462
00:29:16,160 --> 00:29:19,120
And it's a great way.

463
00:29:19,120 --> 00:29:25,760
We're very different and I was very intimidated because I often joke that I in writing up

464
00:29:25,760 --> 00:29:30,960
my want ad for a future spouse would never have written a want ad that said wanted Yankee

465
00:29:30,960 --> 00:29:36,840
Catholic sailor who is not in the continental US.

466
00:29:36,840 --> 00:29:37,840
None of that.

467
00:29:37,840 --> 00:29:41,960
They were all obstacles in my eyes and some of them may be insurmountable.

468
00:29:41,960 --> 00:29:46,760
But my presupposition about Greg was that he was Catholic because it had been handed

469
00:29:46,760 --> 00:29:47,760
to him culturally.

470
00:29:47,760 --> 00:29:50,120
He was from Connecticut.

471
00:29:50,120 --> 00:29:55,840
His mom's had strong roots in New York and I made some presuppositions about him and

472
00:29:55,840 --> 00:29:58,840
his faith walk that were not accurate.

473
00:29:58,840 --> 00:30:04,560
And we spent all these letters and emails just sort of finding out where we really were

474
00:30:04,560 --> 00:30:08,680
in faith instead of our assumptions about where we might be in the faith.

475
00:30:08,680 --> 00:30:14,280
And it took work and frankly, attraction had a lot to do with why I was willing to do that

476
00:30:14,280 --> 00:30:21,160
work of chipping away at my misconceptions about his Catholicism or about his cultural

477
00:30:21,160 --> 00:30:25,520
experiences or about his faith walk in general.

478
00:30:25,520 --> 00:30:27,520
So there was an impetus there.

479
00:30:27,520 --> 00:30:31,320
There was a motivation there that said I'm this invested in this person that I really

480
00:30:31,320 --> 00:30:33,360
am attracted to.

481
00:30:33,360 --> 00:30:37,400
Am I willing to do the further work and find out who he genuinely is?

482
00:30:37,400 --> 00:30:39,720
So what was God speaking to you through all of that?

483
00:30:39,720 --> 00:30:46,240
It was a scary time because ultimately, it's the first time in my spiritual life.

484
00:30:46,240 --> 00:30:50,960
I mean, of course, the long distance made me again aware of what does faithfulness look

485
00:30:50,960 --> 00:30:55,320
like when this person says, you'll have a message from me tomorrow.

486
00:30:55,320 --> 00:30:56,960
That happened.

487
00:30:56,960 --> 00:31:02,280
And so in a lot of ways, even long distance, the Lord sort of emphasized this is what safety

488
00:31:02,280 --> 00:31:03,280
looks like.

489
00:31:03,280 --> 00:31:04,640
This is what faithfulness looks like.

490
00:31:04,640 --> 00:31:07,100
This is what no pressure looks like.

491
00:31:07,100 --> 00:31:11,280
And I think the Lord was determined to not trigger any further anxiety in me.

492
00:31:11,280 --> 00:31:16,000
So that was a kindness to just have this person and a little bit of a remove.

493
00:31:16,000 --> 00:31:19,440
We were able to call, but that was also back in the days when long distance phone calls

494
00:31:19,440 --> 00:31:22,200
from overseas were incredibly expensive.

495
00:31:22,200 --> 00:31:26,200
It was either, okay, you could maybe fly here to see me or we could spend all this money

496
00:31:26,200 --> 00:31:28,160
on phone calls, but we can't do both.

497
00:31:28,160 --> 00:31:30,440
So that was an interesting thing.

498
00:31:30,440 --> 00:31:33,520
But the Lord was really speaking to me through that time.

499
00:31:33,520 --> 00:31:37,920
And ultimately, the more and more serious we got, we got to a juncture where the Lord

500
00:31:37,920 --> 00:31:43,320
just said, you know, I'm not going to tell you what to do in this situation.

501
00:31:43,320 --> 00:31:47,560
Previously, I felt like the Lord helped me know where to go to college.

502
00:31:47,560 --> 00:31:49,400
I mean, I would just throw out a little thing.

503
00:31:49,400 --> 00:31:54,860
I will go to college, Lord, wherever the scholarship is biggest that's offered to me.

504
00:31:54,860 --> 00:32:00,000
So don't offer a scholarship to me if it's not where you want me to go to college, because

505
00:32:00,000 --> 00:32:04,040
whoever offers me the most money, that's where I'm going.

506
00:32:04,040 --> 00:32:07,720
And he was very faithful with all of my little requests like that.

507
00:32:07,720 --> 00:32:11,800
And then suddenly the Lord just said, oh, here's an opportunity for you.

508
00:32:11,800 --> 00:32:18,120
Here's a person you're attracted to and you enjoy who is notable and worthwhile.

509
00:32:18,120 --> 00:32:20,440
What are you going to do about this relationship?

510
00:32:20,440 --> 00:32:21,720
And that terrified me.

511
00:32:21,720 --> 00:32:26,280
It really did because I was so used to getting input from the Lord and assurances from the

512
00:32:26,280 --> 00:32:27,360
Lord.

513
00:32:27,360 --> 00:32:35,360
It was the first time I felt like he was trusting me with a decision that required a lot of

514
00:32:35,360 --> 00:32:36,360
future investment.

515
00:32:36,360 --> 00:32:38,480
I mean, again, I already have a child, right?

516
00:32:38,480 --> 00:32:41,120
And there's a lot hanging on this.

517
00:32:41,120 --> 00:32:46,680
That's one way maturity stepped up into that intersection as well for the Lord to just

518
00:32:46,680 --> 00:32:49,160
say, there's not a wrong answer in this situation.

519
00:32:49,160 --> 00:32:50,280
There's not a wrong answer.

520
00:32:50,280 --> 00:32:56,240
I'm giving you a couple of different opportunities and I'm going to stand by and support you

521
00:32:56,240 --> 00:32:59,200
while you make these decisions.

522
00:32:59,200 --> 00:33:00,200
So that was...

523
00:33:00,200 --> 00:33:05,840
And again, for me and Greg, it was Catholic and Protestant, North and South, urban and

524
00:33:05,840 --> 00:33:07,680
very rural.

525
00:33:07,680 --> 00:33:10,120
There's a sense of otherness about this.

526
00:33:10,120 --> 00:33:16,400
I will never live in North Carolina again if I marry a US Navy staff person.

527
00:33:16,400 --> 00:33:19,000
It'll be very difficult to do that.

528
00:33:19,000 --> 00:33:25,320
My home ports are going to be San Diego, Washington DC, overseas.

529
00:33:25,320 --> 00:33:34,440
So I was leaving really all the cocoon-like safety of a home place that I had been recovering

530
00:33:34,440 --> 00:33:39,600
with my mom and dad and growing even deeper roots in that farm community and that sense

531
00:33:39,600 --> 00:33:40,800
of safety.

532
00:33:40,800 --> 00:33:42,120
So it was very challenging.

533
00:33:42,120 --> 00:33:43,120
Yeah.

534
00:33:43,120 --> 00:33:46,560
So you did get married and becoming a Navy wife.

535
00:33:46,560 --> 00:33:51,960
You just talked about all the big shifts you were going to go through from small, homogenous

536
00:33:51,960 --> 00:33:58,000
community to, boy, in the Navy you meet, in any military branch, you meet people from

537
00:33:58,000 --> 00:34:02,120
every background and belief system.

538
00:34:02,120 --> 00:34:06,680
And how did God show you through all of that to be salt and light to them?

539
00:34:06,680 --> 00:34:11,440
I mean, he took you from a safe place where you healed to a place where you could be salt

540
00:34:11,440 --> 00:34:12,920
and light.

541
00:34:12,920 --> 00:34:18,560
So I think that relationship with Greg actually was a great beginning to connecting with people

542
00:34:18,560 --> 00:34:21,660
from pretty different cultures.

543
00:34:21,660 --> 00:34:26,400
Of course, the moment we lived in San Diego briefly and we were at the edge of a very

544
00:34:26,400 --> 00:34:30,760
alternative neighborhood for people who know anything about San Diego.

545
00:34:30,760 --> 00:34:38,240
Hilltop, Hillcrest, was a neighborhood that's fairly famous for its alternative communities.

546
00:34:38,240 --> 00:34:41,400
Greg picked it out because it was close to a hospital and close to a great pizza shop

547
00:34:41,400 --> 00:34:42,480
and close to work.

548
00:34:42,480 --> 00:34:45,160
And so he was done.

549
00:34:45,160 --> 00:34:46,880
After that, we lived in DC.

550
00:34:46,880 --> 00:34:53,200
DC is very notable for mixed communities, culturally, international.

551
00:34:53,200 --> 00:34:58,120
So on our street we had Ethiopians, we had Egyptians, we had people from all walks of

552
00:34:58,120 --> 00:35:00,040
life who would drop off dishes.

553
00:35:00,040 --> 00:35:02,160
Oh, here's a rice dish I made extra.

554
00:35:02,160 --> 00:35:06,160
Oh, why don't you stop by?

555
00:35:06,160 --> 00:35:07,520
This is how we do Christmas.

556
00:35:07,520 --> 00:35:14,360
And while those were not always deep relationships, they were lasting and they were nearby.

557
00:35:14,360 --> 00:35:17,320
They were right on my doorstep.

558
00:35:17,320 --> 00:35:21,640
And now I'm interacting with Greg and learning about his Catholicism and what that means

559
00:35:21,640 --> 00:35:23,120
to him.

560
00:35:23,120 --> 00:35:25,760
And it's no joke, the North and South divide.

561
00:35:25,760 --> 00:35:27,760
He did not know what chicken salad was.

562
00:35:27,760 --> 00:35:28,760
Yes.

563
00:35:28,760 --> 00:35:29,760
Did not.

564
00:35:29,760 --> 00:35:34,600
And when they had a death in the family, I took a huge tray of chicken salad to his parents

565
00:35:34,600 --> 00:35:37,160
and they had no idea what to do with it.

566
00:35:37,160 --> 00:35:42,680
Well, when my husband and I, I'm from the South and we got married, I said we were having

567
00:35:42,680 --> 00:35:48,560
barbecue and he thought we were going to grill burgers on the grill, but we had barbecue

568
00:35:48,560 --> 00:35:53,020
pork and he looked at it very strange and picked at it a little bit.

569
00:35:53,020 --> 00:35:54,020
He loves it now.

570
00:35:54,020 --> 00:35:55,020
Yeah.

571
00:35:55,020 --> 00:35:56,020
It's a learning curve.

572
00:35:56,020 --> 00:35:57,020
It is a learning curve.

573
00:35:57,020 --> 00:36:00,840
So I think the Lord is willing to start us small, right?

574
00:36:00,840 --> 00:36:02,960
Now you've had a lot of intercultural experiences.

575
00:36:02,960 --> 00:36:07,720
I mean, you jumped in with both feet in a way that I don't know that I could have.

576
00:36:07,720 --> 00:36:09,720
I grew up military though.

577
00:36:09,720 --> 00:36:10,720
True.

578
00:36:10,720 --> 00:36:11,720
I grew up military.

579
00:36:11,720 --> 00:36:12,720
You had a head start.

580
00:36:12,720 --> 00:36:13,720
I did.

581
00:36:13,720 --> 00:36:17,680
Maybe on me, but I like my safety zones.

582
00:36:17,680 --> 00:36:19,040
I like my security zones.

583
00:36:19,040 --> 00:36:25,800
I began to have to walk away from anxiety associated with people who are different.

584
00:36:25,800 --> 00:36:30,360
And I think that there's a very strong narrative culturally.

585
00:36:30,360 --> 00:36:36,240
Recently I was reading a book that highlights how tribal human beings are.

586
00:36:36,240 --> 00:36:39,040
And there's always an us versus them element.

587
00:36:39,040 --> 00:36:41,960
And it's one of the basic foundation.

588
00:36:41,960 --> 00:36:46,320
Honestly I would almost call it part of the original sin package because I think in the

589
00:36:46,320 --> 00:36:49,280
Lord's eyes, who is us versus them?

590
00:36:49,280 --> 00:36:50,680
Where are you getting that from?

591
00:36:50,680 --> 00:36:51,680
Right?

592
00:36:51,680 --> 00:36:52,960
Who are you talking about?

593
00:36:52,960 --> 00:37:01,440
But as humans walking around in human skin, there is always a narrative in our heads of

594
00:37:01,440 --> 00:37:06,760
us Republicans versus Democrats or people in other nations where they're too far away

595
00:37:06,760 --> 00:37:08,120
for me to care about.

596
00:37:08,120 --> 00:37:11,700
Americans or other people or the poor.

597
00:37:11,700 --> 00:37:15,880
Those are ills that befall the poor.

598
00:37:15,880 --> 00:37:19,200
You could be a poor person in a flash, in a moment.

599
00:37:19,200 --> 00:37:23,960
You could skip categories and become them in a lot of situations.

600
00:37:23,960 --> 00:37:28,880
So that kind of tribal mindset, who's in my tribe and who's not in my tribe.

601
00:37:28,880 --> 00:37:35,960
Even in Christianity there's that church and this church, that denomination and this denomination.

602
00:37:35,960 --> 00:37:43,620
And in our culture today, division is really elevated and encouraged.

603
00:37:43,620 --> 00:37:49,840
Even under the banner of inclusion, it's really sowing division underneath it.

604
00:37:49,840 --> 00:37:51,140
I agree.

605
00:37:51,140 --> 00:37:54,840
And within churches, people who drink versus people.

606
00:37:54,840 --> 00:37:59,500
When Greg and I got married, his entire cultural experience would have dictated there would

607
00:37:59,500 --> 00:38:02,960
be alcohol at the reception.

608
00:38:02,960 --> 00:38:04,960
Mixed drinks, maybe an open bar.

609
00:38:04,960 --> 00:38:08,200
In my very Protestant background, that absolutely.

610
00:38:08,200 --> 00:38:12,920
A, because the reception would probably be in the church hall, in the fellowship hall.

611
00:38:12,920 --> 00:38:19,000
Divisions are just everywhere and we can make it our life's work to try to minimize or even

612
00:38:19,000 --> 00:38:20,000
eradicate those.

613
00:38:20,000 --> 00:38:21,000
Yes, reconcile.

614
00:38:21,000 --> 00:38:27,640
I mean, God, in the beginning I talked about that verse where God came, Jesus came to reconcile

615
00:38:27,640 --> 00:38:33,520
ourselves, you know, us to Him and He has called us to be reconcilers.

616
00:38:33,520 --> 00:38:35,480
Absolutely.

617
00:38:35,480 --> 00:38:39,720
And one of the things that as I reflect on my experience, other people may have a different

618
00:38:39,720 --> 00:38:46,680
standpoint, but fear of other quote, quote, tribes is often what drives us.

619
00:38:46,680 --> 00:38:47,780
What is their agenda?

620
00:38:47,780 --> 00:38:54,800
We attach words that have meaning and convey a sense of urgency or fear or even anger.

621
00:38:54,800 --> 00:39:00,600
And unfortunately, we've just developed a lot of those words and phrases and verbiage

622
00:39:00,600 --> 00:39:06,760
in the Christian, and honestly in other segments of the society too, but I have just found

623
00:39:06,760 --> 00:39:14,180
at its core, fear precludes warm hospitality.

624
00:39:14,180 --> 00:39:18,800
It precludes generosity.

625
00:39:18,800 --> 00:39:28,200
It precludes an open-handed defenselessness that I feel strongly Christ calls us to.

626
00:39:28,200 --> 00:39:34,720
And counselors would say we're often angriest about things that make us fearful.

627
00:39:34,720 --> 00:39:41,920
So when you catch yourself being really angry about somebody's agenda or somebody's stance

628
00:39:41,920 --> 00:39:49,200
or a catchphrase associated with the demographic of people, immigrants, you may want to ask

629
00:39:49,200 --> 00:39:50,840
yourself, what am I afraid of?

630
00:39:50,840 --> 00:39:56,980
And is Christ rooted in this feeling of fear and anger that I have about this conversation

631
00:39:56,980 --> 00:39:59,280
about other humans?

632
00:39:59,280 --> 00:40:01,000
And I think that often happens.

633
00:40:01,000 --> 00:40:05,240
You recently used, when you and I were talking, I love it, you made the comment where we as

634
00:40:05,240 --> 00:40:08,200
Christians are triggered by feeling the blank.

635
00:40:08,200 --> 00:40:09,440
Oh, everybody is triggered.

636
00:40:09,440 --> 00:40:18,280
I mean, Christians and non-Christians alike, it's that COVID was just an escalator of this.

637
00:40:18,280 --> 00:40:19,280
Absolutely.

638
00:40:19,280 --> 00:40:20,800
We are triggered by so many things.

639
00:40:20,800 --> 00:40:26,400
And young people are taught to be triggered on college campuses.

640
00:40:26,400 --> 00:40:31,240
Any little thing that makes them feel uncomfortable, they just don't know how to cope anymore.

641
00:40:31,240 --> 00:40:32,680
And that's not Christ.

642
00:40:32,680 --> 00:40:33,680
That's not God.

643
00:40:33,680 --> 00:40:34,680
Exactly.

644
00:40:34,680 --> 00:40:37,880
So what did God show you about all of that, Kelly?

645
00:40:37,880 --> 00:40:43,960
Walking away from that sense of fear and how to do that, determining how do we feel that

646
00:40:43,960 --> 00:40:46,260
our defenses are being encroached upon?

647
00:40:46,260 --> 00:40:50,640
How do we feel threatened by this?

648
00:40:50,640 --> 00:40:51,640
Being triggered.

649
00:40:51,640 --> 00:40:58,240
First, I would say an important thing to do, investing in love in another human being.

650
00:40:58,240 --> 00:41:03,560
Now, Greg was an excellent starting point for me to get outside my cultural experiences

651
00:41:03,560 --> 00:41:05,040
up until then.

652
00:41:05,040 --> 00:41:10,360
Finding a real live human being.

653
00:41:10,360 --> 00:41:12,860
Not a group, but a human one.

654
00:41:12,860 --> 00:41:17,480
From that demographic that you can fall in love with.

655
00:41:17,480 --> 00:41:24,400
I may get teary here because investing in humans is a beautiful thing and it touches

656
00:41:24,400 --> 00:41:28,680
our heart and it gets us to a place of brokenness.

657
00:41:28,680 --> 00:41:34,720
Whether that investment is valued, whether that investment is fruitful and productive,

658
00:41:34,720 --> 00:41:43,160
but when we serve our own self-sacrifice, giving to another person, maybe financially,

659
00:41:43,160 --> 00:41:51,880
maybe shelter, but when you can provide anything out of your own resources, support, mentoring,

660
00:41:51,880 --> 00:42:01,520
friendship, thank you, we invest in a person and that person begins to guide our thought

661
00:42:01,520 --> 00:42:03,760
process.

662
00:42:03,760 --> 00:42:06,880
What does it look like to interact with immigrants?

663
00:42:06,880 --> 00:42:16,520
Okay, well this is not any longer some remote stereotype or an icon of immigrants.

664
00:42:16,520 --> 00:42:22,840
This is a person who has a name, who has a baby, I showed up for the baby shower.

665
00:42:22,840 --> 00:42:26,280
This is an immigrant, this is how I can relate to that person.

666
00:42:26,280 --> 00:42:28,860
Would you donate an organ to this person?

667
00:42:28,860 --> 00:42:32,680
Would you invest a couple of thousand dollars?

668
00:42:32,680 --> 00:42:42,760
Because I don't really want to hear another person's political theories or stances on

669
00:42:42,760 --> 00:42:50,040
immigrants if they are only a stereotypical group of people, a demographic.

670
00:42:50,040 --> 00:42:53,200
We're talking about a theory of humanity.

671
00:42:53,200 --> 00:42:54,640
Now we're not talking about policies.

672
00:42:54,640 --> 00:42:56,240
You can have an opinion on policies.

673
00:42:56,240 --> 00:43:01,000
You can have an opinion on the actual sin.

674
00:43:01,000 --> 00:43:02,920
But not the person.

675
00:43:02,920 --> 00:43:09,080
God tells us not to judge or evaluate the people even though we are okay to evaluate

676
00:43:09,080 --> 00:43:11,520
the policies and the sin.

677
00:43:11,520 --> 00:43:21,520
Your everyday behavior is going to be dictated by something different than political theories.

678
00:43:21,520 --> 00:43:26,640
And if your everyday behavior is dictated by your political theories, then you have

679
00:43:26,640 --> 00:43:34,880
a broad potential to be offended by everybody and cut off everybody and live in fear and

680
00:43:34,880 --> 00:43:36,240
isolation.

681
00:43:36,240 --> 00:43:38,240
And that's not what Jesus calls us to.

682
00:43:38,240 --> 00:43:39,240
Exactly.

683
00:43:39,240 --> 00:43:42,800
I don't know, for me that's a little bit of a benchmark to say I'm beginning to love

684
00:43:42,800 --> 00:43:44,360
in a Christ-like way.

685
00:43:44,360 --> 00:43:47,640
Would I donate a couple of thousand dollars to this person?

686
00:43:47,640 --> 00:43:52,640
Would I be willing to be the organ donor or a major blood transfusion?

687
00:43:52,640 --> 00:43:58,720
Okay, if I don't love a person in that way, if you don't love a person in that way, I

688
00:43:58,720 --> 00:43:59,720
really don't.

689
00:43:59,720 --> 00:44:04,280
I'm not going to put a lot of value on your opinions about Republicans versus Democrats

690
00:44:04,280 --> 00:44:09,600
or immigration or the LGBTQ community.

691
00:44:09,600 --> 00:44:13,300
That's another thing that's going on now that's a bit of a flash point and as you've pointed

692
00:44:13,300 --> 00:44:16,360
out can be trigger, right?

693
00:44:16,360 --> 00:44:22,840
So if you don't love a person who has same-sex attraction and are committed to maybe offer

694
00:44:22,840 --> 00:44:31,600
them hospitality or to open your hand in defenseless generosity, your opinion about that demographic

695
00:44:31,600 --> 00:44:37,400
of people, I personally just don't have a lot of esteem for your theories about this

696
00:44:37,400 --> 00:44:38,400
demographic, right?

697
00:44:38,400 --> 00:44:47,160
And it's so easy to say, to attach these cultural catchphrases, militant or culture wars, and

698
00:44:47,160 --> 00:44:52,840
you and I kind of lived through this era in the 70s and 80s, you know, the gay community

699
00:44:52,840 --> 00:44:58,720
was much less talked about and much more maligned.

700
00:44:58,720 --> 00:45:03,240
I think the consensus was we were all aware it was a concept that was going to grow and

701
00:45:03,240 --> 00:45:09,160
be talked about more in media and be talked about more in the culture and most Christians

702
00:45:09,160 --> 00:45:12,040
were terrified by that.

703
00:45:12,040 --> 00:45:19,200
And as you rightly pointed out, maybe in a way that was disproportionate, are we terrified

704
00:45:19,200 --> 00:45:27,680
by, you know, other margin, other cultural groups, other demographics in our community?

705
00:45:27,680 --> 00:45:30,220
Often we're not, right?

706
00:45:30,220 --> 00:45:34,240
But there are some flash points and honestly, I think the media has contributed a great

707
00:45:34,240 --> 00:45:44,040
deal to divisiveness among all of us by attaching these unhelpful and powerful and negative

708
00:45:44,040 --> 00:45:45,120
catchphrases.

709
00:45:45,120 --> 00:45:49,360
But you and I participated in church during a time when we, from the pulpit, heard things

710
00:45:49,360 --> 00:45:56,320
like culture war and heard things like militant and far leftist.

711
00:45:56,320 --> 00:46:03,640
And it instilled a fear in me and an anxiety in me to say, I need to hunker down deeper

712
00:46:03,640 --> 00:46:11,360
into my tribe because this tribe is so other that it's scaring me.

713
00:46:11,360 --> 00:46:13,080
And what is my fear based in?

714
00:46:13,080 --> 00:46:17,440
I probably would not have even been able to verbalize appropriately.

715
00:46:17,440 --> 00:46:24,320
Scripture tells us that we are to love others, show them love so that they can understand

716
00:46:24,320 --> 00:46:28,360
God's love and let Him transform them.

717
00:46:28,360 --> 00:46:31,360
Our arguments aren't going to transform them.

718
00:46:31,360 --> 00:46:34,360
Our opinions aren't going to transform them.

719
00:46:34,360 --> 00:46:39,360
But our behavior, if it's, our behavior can transform them, whether it's love or hate.

720
00:46:39,360 --> 00:46:43,680
If it's hate, it's going to contribute more hate.

721
00:46:43,680 --> 00:46:47,720
If it's agape love, it's going to lead them to Jesus.

722
00:46:47,720 --> 00:46:53,920
And we don't need to be fearful if God is leading us to reach into communities that

723
00:46:53,920 --> 00:46:58,160
we're unfamiliar with to show them the love of God.

724
00:46:58,160 --> 00:46:59,320
And reaching into other communities.

725
00:46:59,320 --> 00:47:00,320
I mean, I think that's-

726
00:47:00,320 --> 00:47:02,280
It doesn't mean we embrace their behavior.

727
00:47:02,280 --> 00:47:03,280
Right.

728
00:47:03,280 --> 00:47:08,920
Or even their political stances or, you know, I mean, that's all, you know, that's, I think,

729
00:47:08,920 --> 00:47:09,920
small fry.

730
00:47:09,920 --> 00:47:17,000
And it's easy to hang on to that separation and the antipathies and even aversion when

731
00:47:17,000 --> 00:47:23,080
we only know a sort of an icon or a stereotype of another tribe.

732
00:47:23,080 --> 00:47:24,080
Yeah.

733
00:47:24,080 --> 00:47:25,080
Or flavor of person.

734
00:47:25,080 --> 00:47:26,080
Yeah.

735
00:47:26,080 --> 00:47:27,080
Right.

736
00:47:27,080 --> 00:47:30,080
And I'm going to be honest and say that in my 20s, these were the seeds that were sown,

737
00:47:30,080 --> 00:47:31,840
unfortunately, in the 70s and 80s.

738
00:47:31,840 --> 00:47:35,640
I don't know how many repercussions they're still having for the community at large, maybe

739
00:47:35,640 --> 00:47:37,880
quite a lot.

740
00:47:37,880 --> 00:47:43,520
The dialogue was just not a very informed or balanced or careful dialogue.

741
00:47:43,520 --> 00:47:44,560
Right.

742
00:47:44,560 --> 00:47:46,960
And it was a formative time for a lot of us.

743
00:47:46,960 --> 00:47:54,080
Now, I just think with a bit of years and maturity and age, instead of being in my 20s

744
00:47:54,080 --> 00:48:01,200
and 30s and talking about militant people who are scary to me, I could be a mom to a

745
00:48:01,200 --> 00:48:07,640
lot of these kids now that I meet who have same sex attraction or are uncomfortable in

746
00:48:07,640 --> 00:48:13,280
their own gender, whether they've made a proclamation about that and said, I am a transgender person

747
00:48:13,280 --> 00:48:15,160
or I am a gay person.

748
00:48:15,160 --> 00:48:18,960
For a few of them, it has been a temporary experience.

749
00:48:18,960 --> 00:48:24,760
For many of them, it is a permanent life choice situation.

750
00:48:24,760 --> 00:48:29,240
I would even hesitate to say choice because there are people who just feel same sex attraction

751
00:48:29,240 --> 00:48:31,240
and it is their entire life.

752
00:48:31,240 --> 00:48:40,440
My hope is that they could bring that conversation about themselves to Christ and say, would

753
00:48:40,440 --> 00:48:49,440
you join me, Lord, in this lifelong work I have about me, just like I have my lifelong

754
00:48:49,440 --> 00:48:54,000
work about me that I have to do.

755
00:48:54,000 --> 00:48:59,480
I think we can't invalidate the fact that there are people who have, who just are attracted

756
00:48:59,480 --> 00:49:07,280
to same sex and it is a fact for their lives, no matter what their outlook is on it.

757
00:49:07,280 --> 00:49:12,080
But at this point and at this age, I can say I can easily love even some fairly prickly

758
00:49:12,080 --> 00:49:15,400
folks from that tribe.

759
00:49:15,400 --> 00:49:17,760
I feel maternal about them.

760
00:49:17,760 --> 00:49:21,480
I feel concerned about the dangers of their lives.

761
00:49:21,480 --> 00:49:26,240
We all have various, depending on what our behaviors and our lives are, we have various

762
00:49:26,240 --> 00:49:29,840
pitfalls and dangers associated with them.

763
00:49:29,840 --> 00:49:37,840
I just feel passionately that I would like for them to have that sense of a large, embracing

764
00:49:37,840 --> 00:49:42,840
father that I longed for when I was young.

765
00:49:42,840 --> 00:49:48,000
And that large, embracing father is holding his arms out.

766
00:49:48,000 --> 00:49:52,480
And that is the conversation that we've dropped the ball on for this demographic and for other

767
00:49:52,480 --> 00:49:56,840
demographics that we feel other than.

768
00:49:56,840 --> 00:50:03,160
All through this time when you are learning new things and engaging with new tribes and

769
00:50:03,160 --> 00:50:10,160
new people and the Lord's really opening your heart to them with his love, he also was opening

770
00:50:10,160 --> 00:50:13,280
some doors for artistry for you.

771
00:50:13,280 --> 00:50:18,880
He was really drawing that forward and someone gave you an even unusual prophecy.

772
00:50:18,880 --> 00:50:22,640
What were some of those opportunities and what was that word that he gave you?

773
00:50:22,640 --> 00:50:29,160
In my local church after the accident home, just being a single mom, I was often just

774
00:50:29,160 --> 00:50:32,360
sort of shied away from prophetic.

775
00:50:32,360 --> 00:50:35,880
I haven't had a lot of great experiences with prophecies.

776
00:50:35,880 --> 00:50:40,120
I haven't had a lot of confirmed things, though I believe that the Lord is the Lord of the

777
00:50:40,120 --> 00:50:43,360
supernatural and that's a fantastic thing.

778
00:50:43,360 --> 00:50:48,920
But I was always wary because I just kept thinking, what if I hear something negative?

779
00:50:48,920 --> 00:50:52,120
What if I hear something that I don't want to hear?

780
00:50:52,120 --> 00:50:56,920
Here I am as a widow and I just thought, okay, just about the worst thing possible has happened

781
00:50:56,920 --> 00:51:02,040
to me so I'm going to go up and hear what somebody has to say because if it's correct,

782
00:51:02,040 --> 00:51:05,040
that's great and if it never comes to pass, that's okay too.

783
00:51:05,040 --> 00:51:06,040
I feel brave enough.

784
00:51:06,040 --> 00:51:12,760
I went forward and it was really interesting and he said, I see on your hands some stain,

785
00:51:12,760 --> 00:51:13,760
some coloration.

786
00:51:13,760 --> 00:51:24,960
He didn't literally see that but he said, I see color and colors and lines and artistry

787
00:51:24,960 --> 00:51:30,120
and I said, well yeah, I have a background in graphic design and illustration and he

788
00:51:30,120 --> 00:51:38,560
said, well I see that you're going to be making cards and print material and new art.

789
00:51:38,560 --> 00:51:44,200
You won't have a middleman, it will be you and you will be selling your own art and your

790
00:51:44,200 --> 00:51:52,960
own cards and your own print material to support suffering and marginalized children and families.

791
00:51:52,960 --> 00:51:56,800
It'll be a ministry of yours and I thought, okay.

792
00:51:56,800 --> 00:52:01,280
So I went back to my seat and just thought, okay, well that seems, that's resonating with

793
00:52:01,280 --> 00:52:05,200
me, we'll just see because at the time again I was a single mom living at my parents'

794
00:52:05,200 --> 00:52:10,800
house with a child and had become a church secretary just as a part-time job.

795
00:52:10,800 --> 00:52:17,080
And so that was a really interesting vision for me to hear about for myself and has kind

796
00:52:17,080 --> 00:52:23,240
of just given me courage to keep some momentum going at moments when I might have lost momentum.

797
00:52:23,240 --> 00:52:29,560
Later I had a chance to do some illustrations for children's textbooks and that was a good

798
00:52:29,560 --> 00:52:30,560
career time for me.

799
00:52:30,560 --> 00:52:35,680
I've worked at a newspaper doing some graphic design for a small town newspaper.

800
00:52:35,680 --> 00:52:39,760
So those were all steps in the art field that were meaningful to me.

801
00:52:39,760 --> 00:52:45,520
Since then I've done some stage design and set design and set paintings for theater and

802
00:52:45,520 --> 00:52:47,800
again that's all about telling the story.

803
00:52:47,800 --> 00:52:53,840
These were wonderful shows that, Fiddler on the Roof and some Dickens shows and so things

804
00:52:53,840 --> 00:52:56,200
that really communicated larger truths.

805
00:52:56,200 --> 00:52:58,360
So that's really enjoyable.

806
00:52:58,360 --> 00:53:06,120
And ultimately I ended up founding a very small art production company.

807
00:53:06,120 --> 00:53:11,400
It's about to become non-profit in which I served some of the Navy community.

808
00:53:11,400 --> 00:53:17,000
Having married Greg in his Navy career, it just felt that a lot of that community were

809
00:53:17,000 --> 00:53:27,560
very grounded in history and a strong connection with museums and the cultural history of the

810
00:53:27,560 --> 00:53:31,600
Navy, the US Navy, but also just nautical history in general.

811
00:53:31,600 --> 00:53:37,880
And so for their important events like retirements and promotions, there was just not a lot of

812
00:53:37,880 --> 00:53:43,200
beautiful history mementos or print materials or programs.

813
00:53:43,200 --> 00:53:49,960
So I gifted Greg with a couple of pieces that commemorated his naval career and it seemed

814
00:53:49,960 --> 00:53:53,520
very meaningful to him and was attractive to other people in the Navy community.

815
00:53:53,520 --> 00:53:57,680
So it's been used a few times for a couple of retirements and promotions.

816
00:53:57,680 --> 00:53:58,960
And what were they?

817
00:53:58,960 --> 00:54:04,080
John Paul Jones ship, the Bonhomme Richard in a compass setting and frame and gave him

818
00:54:04,080 --> 00:54:09,680
that for part of his retirement and then subsequently did the USS Constitution and have branched

819
00:54:09,680 --> 00:54:17,200
out to do the USS Wisconsin, which is here in Virginia Beach and a few others of interest.

820
00:54:17,200 --> 00:54:22,640
So that has been a little bit of an expanding storyline.

821
00:54:22,640 --> 00:54:27,240
And have done just a couple of commissioned pieces that commemorated individuals.

822
00:54:27,240 --> 00:54:32,320
One recent young man, this was just kind of fun, was promoted to chief, which is a very

823
00:54:32,320 --> 00:54:36,880
important threshold and landmark in a career.

824
00:54:36,880 --> 00:54:42,960
And his family commissioned a piece that would commemorate his trips to the Holy Land.

825
00:54:42,960 --> 00:54:45,880
His favorite cruises were to Malta and the Holy Land.

826
00:54:45,880 --> 00:54:50,560
And there's of course some gorgeous scenic relics there.

827
00:54:50,560 --> 00:54:56,840
And I was able to incorporate elements of his cruise and put his actual ship in a scene

828
00:54:56,840 --> 00:55:03,800
at the Holy Land with some aqueducts and the coast of Caesarea in the background and incorporate

829
00:55:03,800 --> 00:55:09,920
some other elements, including Christ as the anchor for his promotion.

830
00:55:09,920 --> 00:55:12,800
So that was a lot of fun to work on that.

831
00:55:12,800 --> 00:55:19,200
And you've actually used that to support ministry, the profits from that.

832
00:55:19,200 --> 00:55:23,080
Is that, I mean, that was something that God put on your heart when you started Compass.

833
00:55:23,080 --> 00:55:24,360
It's true.

834
00:55:24,360 --> 00:55:25,680
So it was a lot of fun.

835
00:55:25,680 --> 00:55:31,680
We already gave, my husband is a very generous giver and we already gave generously tithing

836
00:55:31,680 --> 00:55:33,000
and donations.

837
00:55:33,000 --> 00:55:36,440
And I really just felt like I don't want to give more out of our personal finances.

838
00:55:36,440 --> 00:55:42,120
I'd like to develop my own avenue out of which I can give exclusively that's independent

839
00:55:42,120 --> 00:55:44,040
of our family finances.

840
00:55:44,040 --> 00:55:47,320
So that has been a seven year slow journey.

841
00:55:47,320 --> 00:55:52,600
So, you know, don't despise the day of small beginnings, but, you know, as I age, I can

842
00:55:52,600 --> 00:55:55,600
devote more time to that endeavor now.

843
00:55:55,600 --> 00:55:59,880
And it's really, you know, I need to find out more about your widow and orphans initiative

844
00:55:59,880 --> 00:56:05,160
as well, because I haven't asked you any questions about that, that it's so closely aligned to,

845
00:56:05,160 --> 00:56:06,400
you know, my passion.

846
00:56:06,400 --> 00:56:09,880
So yeah, Somebody Cares does have a Widows and Orphan Fund and it really grew out of

847
00:56:09,880 --> 00:56:17,040
our desire to respond to James 127, where God calls us true religion.

848
00:56:17,040 --> 00:56:18,040
Right.

849
00:56:18,040 --> 00:56:21,040
To care for the widows and orphans and to keep ourselves unstained from the world.

850
00:56:21,040 --> 00:56:25,880
And we have a network around the globe of ministry partners that care for orphans, as

851
00:56:25,880 --> 00:56:31,560
well as widows who've really devoted a lifetime of service to the Lord and who are now in

852
00:56:31,560 --> 00:56:32,560
need.

853
00:56:32,560 --> 00:56:38,760
And the challenges they face many places overseas, you know, Haiti and Columbia and Nigeria,

854
00:56:38,760 --> 00:56:42,040
Ukraine and more, they can be overwhelming without help.

855
00:56:42,040 --> 00:56:43,760
I mean, it's overwhelming with help.

856
00:56:43,760 --> 00:56:44,760
Yes.

857
00:56:44,760 --> 00:56:45,760
Without help.

858
00:56:45,760 --> 00:56:52,880
It's even more so, and we come alongside those partner ministries to do the more for the

859
00:56:52,880 --> 00:56:56,880
orphans, you know, that the orphans, they're provided care, but if there's a special need

860
00:56:56,880 --> 00:57:01,360
they have, or they have a special gift that needs to be developed, we try to come alongside

861
00:57:01,360 --> 00:57:02,520
them.

862
00:57:02,520 --> 00:57:07,360
And the women who've given a lifetime of service to the Lord, who lose their husbands and really

863
00:57:07,360 --> 00:57:10,360
don't know where to look, they'll come alongside for those special circumstances.

864
00:57:10,360 --> 00:57:14,720
And you know, as a company of women together, we can do so much more together than we can

865
00:57:14,720 --> 00:57:15,720
apart.

866
00:57:15,720 --> 00:57:20,360
So, you know, if you're listening and you would like to be a part of that company of

867
00:57:20,360 --> 00:57:27,320
women and join us, you can do that with a gift of any kind at hergodstory.org.

868
00:57:27,320 --> 00:57:33,760
So Kelly, how would you encourage others to take those scary steps across the great divide

869
00:57:33,760 --> 00:57:36,720
that separates Christians from those who don't know Christ yet?

870
00:57:36,720 --> 00:57:43,000
I mean, to really be ambassadors and to represent Him well to people who might even be hostile

871
00:57:43,000 --> 00:57:44,000
to Him.

872
00:57:44,000 --> 00:57:50,440
And often given mission fields, we don't really want neighbors and family and friends.

873
00:57:50,440 --> 00:57:54,840
And so often we have these gorgeous moments that are open to us and we look past them

874
00:57:54,840 --> 00:58:00,960
to something maybe more convenient, I would say, or more glamorous or more expected.

875
00:58:00,960 --> 00:58:06,440
I think what the Lord brings to us, often we're fearful about, you know, if you have

876
00:58:06,440 --> 00:58:09,860
a family member who is gay.

877
00:58:09,860 --> 00:58:16,340
If you have a family member who is dating an illegal immigrant.

878
00:58:16,340 --> 00:58:22,540
There are lots of small bridges we can cross and say, how can we get past whatever fear

879
00:58:22,540 --> 00:58:27,080
we've got or whatever avoidance issues we want to avoid people.

880
00:58:27,080 --> 00:58:33,520
Ultimately, I feel like our greatest calling is to break ourselves open and to share what

881
00:58:33,520 --> 00:58:36,560
we are inside.

882
00:58:36,560 --> 00:58:40,720
And so often ministry feels performance driven.

883
00:58:40,720 --> 00:58:48,080
And I think that connecting with other humans, for us Christians, we have this misconception

884
00:58:48,080 --> 00:58:55,640
that connecting with them is part of our performance as a good believer.

885
00:58:55,640 --> 00:59:02,640
And I think that not only sort of sullies human connection, but it also sullies what

886
00:59:02,640 --> 00:59:06,320
does it mean to be a good Christian.

887
00:59:06,320 --> 00:59:13,000
Because the longer I live and the more difficult people that I reach out to, and not even difficult

888
00:59:13,000 --> 00:59:19,880
people, but other people, the only thing that matters is when I am broken open, do I smell

889
00:59:19,880 --> 00:59:27,040
like love or joy or safety or peace or comfort.

890
00:59:27,040 --> 00:59:30,360
And it's not performance driven.

891
00:59:30,360 --> 00:59:32,960
Performance driven.

892
00:59:32,960 --> 00:59:39,320
Mindset ruins so much of the authenticity that God wants to call us to.

893
00:59:39,320 --> 00:59:44,680
And other human beings can tell, oh, you're on it.

894
00:59:44,680 --> 00:59:53,040
And I think it's just imperative that all these people who are other than us want to

895
00:59:53,040 --> 00:59:59,340
be people of dignity and want to be people with meaning in their life.

896
00:59:59,340 --> 01:00:07,400
And they also want to be broken open and smell like something that has an eternal flavor,

897
01:00:07,400 --> 01:00:10,400
has an eternal scent.

898
01:00:10,400 --> 01:00:16,520
And my calling to reach out to others, I would say would just culminate in saying, if you

899
01:00:16,520 --> 01:00:21,520
are an artist, like you said, you've mentioned, you know, the Lord just uses what's in his

900
01:00:21,520 --> 01:00:24,640
hand.

901
01:00:24,640 --> 01:00:25,640
Break me open.

902
01:00:25,640 --> 01:00:32,640
This is not about what I can get done today, but it's about communion in transparency.

903
01:00:32,640 --> 01:00:38,680
That's what Christ's communion is about too, is him breaking himself open and sharing what

904
01:00:38,680 --> 01:00:39,680
he is.

905
01:00:39,680 --> 01:00:44,080
And I think that's where we find meaning, and it's where we can intersect even with

906
01:00:44,080 --> 01:00:49,920
people who are radically different from us, because that's not about our politics, and

907
01:00:49,920 --> 01:00:56,000
it's not about our stances, and it's not about ideologies.

908
01:00:56,000 --> 01:01:05,000
If we have the confidence, then we can set the fear aside of otherness and share ourselves

909
01:01:05,000 --> 01:01:13,680
and how God has worked on us to make us more authentic.

910
01:01:13,680 --> 01:01:14,680
That is communion.

911
01:01:14,680 --> 01:01:20,000
Can you share about a woman in the Bible whose story maybe has connected with you in some

912
01:01:20,000 --> 01:01:21,000
way?

913
01:01:21,000 --> 01:01:22,440
I think I would have to pick Ruth.

914
01:01:22,440 --> 01:01:26,280
And I think some of these themes that we've touched on, friendship, friendships including

915
01:01:26,280 --> 01:01:32,000
us and people taking us in, Naomi took her in and took her in in friendship.

916
01:01:32,000 --> 01:01:35,400
You know, we've all had terrible mother-in-law stories, and I just saw one on the internet

917
01:01:35,400 --> 01:01:38,800
this morning.

918
01:01:38,800 --> 01:01:46,840
And Ruth was taken in and included, she was embraced, even very different culture, but

919
01:01:46,840 --> 01:01:49,640
she was embraced and included.

920
01:01:49,640 --> 01:01:55,920
Through that, even through her loss and losing her husband, which resonates with me, she

921
01:01:55,920 --> 01:02:05,000
found larger embracing and caring arms in the Lord, but practically speaking in Boaz.

922
01:02:05,000 --> 01:02:11,600
You know, she had a successful second marriage, and so I see a lot of those themes sort of

923
01:02:11,600 --> 01:02:20,000
developed in Ruth, and I love it that she was able to come home to those arms that were

924
01:02:20,000 --> 01:02:24,720
bigger than her and bigger than her tragedy.

925
01:02:24,720 --> 01:02:30,920
And they did not allow her tragedy or her loss or her people group or her tribe to define

926
01:02:30,920 --> 01:02:32,920
her.

927
01:02:32,920 --> 01:02:39,200
It drew her through all of those things into a whole other life.

928
01:02:39,200 --> 01:02:41,560
That was a walk of sanctification.

929
01:02:41,560 --> 01:02:46,680
You know, sometimes we think we don't have much to offer in the way of ministry.

930
01:02:46,680 --> 01:02:51,360
This morning in my devotions, I was reminded of Moses who was tending sheep in the desert

931
01:02:51,360 --> 01:02:53,400
for 40 years when God called him.

932
01:02:53,400 --> 01:02:57,480
Moses didn't think he had anything to offer.

933
01:02:57,480 --> 01:03:01,760
He told God he didn't speak very well, so surely there was someone better qualified.

934
01:03:01,760 --> 01:03:06,920
And you know, God could have touched Moses' lips just like he did the prophet Isaiah's,

935
01:03:06,920 --> 01:03:11,320
but instead God asked Moses, what's in your hand?

936
01:03:11,320 --> 01:03:15,680
And Moses said a staff, which is basically a long thick stick.

937
01:03:15,680 --> 01:03:17,900
But God used that stick in amazing ways.

938
01:03:17,900 --> 01:03:22,240
He used it to convince the Israelites who were in bondage that he had heard their prayers

939
01:03:22,240 --> 01:03:23,960
and he cared for them.

940
01:03:23,960 --> 01:03:27,320
He used it to begin the process of setting the people free.

941
01:03:27,320 --> 01:03:30,680
He used it to part the Red Sea so they could get to safety.

942
01:03:30,680 --> 01:03:35,600
He used it to bring water from the rock to quench their thirst and many other things.

943
01:03:35,600 --> 01:03:40,320
And dear friend, if you're wondering how God could possibly use you, maybe he's waiting

944
01:03:40,320 --> 01:03:42,340
for you to answer the same question.

945
01:03:42,340 --> 01:03:43,600
What is in your hand?

946
01:03:43,600 --> 01:03:46,680
Are you a gardener that you can share produce with others?

947
01:03:46,680 --> 01:03:51,680
Do you have an obedient dog that can be trained for hospital or nursing home visits?

948
01:03:51,680 --> 01:03:55,380
Are you an empty nester with extra time on your hands to volunteer in the community or

949
01:03:55,380 --> 01:04:01,180
mentor young moms or the gift of hospitality that makes everyone feel welcome?

950
01:04:01,180 --> 01:04:04,920
Maybe you have the gift of serving or a brilliant businesswoman.

951
01:04:04,920 --> 01:04:07,440
Kelly is an artist and God's using that.

952
01:04:07,440 --> 01:04:10,040
I love a good story about what God's doing in someone's life.

953
01:04:10,040 --> 01:04:13,800
And I know a lot of women who have great stories.

954
01:04:13,800 --> 01:04:15,240
So I have a podcast.

955
01:04:15,240 --> 01:04:22,240
If you offer to God that thing that you think is meaningless, he can take it and teach you

956
01:04:22,240 --> 01:04:24,720
how to use it to share his love with others.

957
01:04:24,720 --> 01:04:27,560
If God can use Moses' staff, he can use anything.

958
01:04:27,560 --> 01:04:32,640
Kelly, would you take a moment and pray for everyone who's listening to this story?

959
01:04:32,640 --> 01:04:34,360
Holy Spirit, we invite you in.

960
01:04:34,360 --> 01:04:38,340
We invite you into hurting places and places we feel insecure.

961
01:04:38,340 --> 01:04:41,560
We invite you into places that are unexpected.

962
01:04:41,560 --> 01:04:49,720
You want to use us and you want to use the gifts you've put in us, God.

963
01:04:49,720 --> 01:04:53,400
And that is a shocking thing sometimes.

964
01:04:53,400 --> 01:05:00,720
We invite you in and Jodi and I agree together that this listening audience would be inspired

965
01:05:00,720 --> 01:05:09,640
to hear your encouragement, to receive your courage, and to set their hand to the tool

966
01:05:09,640 --> 01:05:12,520
that you've put in front of them, God.

967
01:05:12,520 --> 01:05:18,320
And we bless hurting and marginalized people who don't feel embraced.

968
01:05:18,320 --> 01:05:24,600
And we ask that your arms would be wide enough and big enough to begin gathering them in

969
01:05:24,600 --> 01:05:25,920
an embrace.

970
01:05:25,920 --> 01:05:27,880
In Christ's name we pray.

971
01:05:27,880 --> 01:05:28,880
Amen.

972
01:05:28,880 --> 01:05:29,880
Amen.

973
01:05:29,880 --> 01:05:31,000
Thank you for tuning in.

974
01:05:31,000 --> 01:05:36,440
Links to Kelly's website and greeting cards, as well as scriptures and other helpful information,

975
01:05:36,440 --> 01:05:39,600
can be found in our show notes at hergodstory.org.

976
01:05:39,600 --> 01:05:45,080
There you can also sign up for periodic emails, get a free Her God Story devotional, and find

977
01:05:45,080 --> 01:05:47,960
out about the Somebody Cares Widows and Orphan Fund.

978
01:05:47,960 --> 01:05:54,520
If you feel like you need prayer, please call or text the Somebody Cares 24-7 prayer line

979
01:05:54,520 --> 01:06:01,040
at 855-459-CARE or email us at prayer at somebodycares.org.

980
01:06:01,040 --> 01:06:05,000
We'd love for you to share Kelly's story with friends and be sure to follow the podcast

981
01:06:05,000 --> 01:06:06,640
so you don't miss an episode.

982
01:06:06,640 --> 01:06:10,960
And now, dear friends, I leave you with a blessing taken from 2 Thessalonians 3 verse

983
01:06:10,960 --> 01:06:11,960
5.

984
01:06:11,960 --> 01:06:16,800
May the Lord direct your hearts into full understanding and expression of the love of

985
01:06:16,800 --> 01:06:21,120
God and the patient endurance that comes from Christ.

986
01:06:21,120 --> 01:06:25,160
Her God Story is a ministry of Somebody Cares America and international.

987
01:06:25,160 --> 01:06:54,000
To find out more about or support the ministry, go to somebodycares.org.