Molly Grigg: Redeemed by Grace, Embracing Life

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Hey friends, thank you for choosing the Her God

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Story podcast where you will always hear a good

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story to encourage and inspire you in your walk

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with the Lord. I'm so glad you tuned in. I'm

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your host, Jodie Chiricosta, ministry leader at

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Somebody Cares America and international author

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and traveler on this journey with Jesus. God

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cares deeply about the widows and orphans. In

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James 127, it says that pure and true and genuine

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religion is caring for widows and orphans in

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their distress and keeping yourself unstained

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from the world. That term religion doesn't mean

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a system of rules we follow or theological ideas.

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It means worship that is expressed in action.

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Caring for widows and orphans is worship to God.

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Over and over in scripture, he directs us to

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care for widows and orphans, which is why Somebody

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Cares created the Widow and Orphan Fund as one

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way to worship him. Together we can do so much

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more to take care of the special needs of widows

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and orphans around the world who are looking

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to God for help. Recently, we funded the delivery

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of special care packages to five destitute widows

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in Africa who are struggling to put food on the

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table for their children. And while this was

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only temporary help, efforts are underway to

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provide monthly assistance to them while they

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seek employment in a secure living situation.

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Because of the gifts of so many of you dear friends,

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these precious women know that God has heard

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their cries and is answering with tangible help.

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Please pray about joining our number with a gift

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at hergodstory .org and click on help now. We

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even accept cryptocurrency. In John 10, Jesus

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is talking to the Pharisees, a group of Jewish

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leaders who are more concerned about rules and

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regulations than about God. As in other portions

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of scripture, Jesus uses an analogy equating

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people to sheep. He refers to himself as the

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gate of the sheepfold and as the good shepherd.

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And he contrasts his care for the sheep from

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others who leave the sheep to be ravaged by thieves

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and wolves. In verse 10 of the NIV, he declares,

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the thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy.

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I have come that they may have life and have

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it to the full. That is a pretty stunning statement

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if you think about it. Shepherds kept sheep for

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their wool, for milk, for food. Of course, they

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wanted to keep the sheep alive and healthy so

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they could produce, but that's not what Jesus

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is saying here. He said, He came so the sheep

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would have an abundant, full life. Not to take

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from us, but to give to us. The Greek word for

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life here is zao, which means physical and spiritual

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life in the fullest sense. Since Jesus was referring

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to us as sheep, it means he wants us all to have

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that kind of life. Proverbs 1923 tells us just

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how to access that kind of life, saying in the

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NIV, the fear of the Lord leads to life. One

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rests content, untouched by trouble. Fear of

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the Lord here refers to having a relational reverence

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of God, which leads to a vital and flourishing

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spiritual and natural life. Jesus came to give

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life. Relationship with God ensures life. And

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because life is at the center of our creator's

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plan, life is something to value. My guest, Molly

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Grigg, is passionate about life through every

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stage and season. Molly and I met in graduate

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school at Regent University while pursuing degrees

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in communication. And even then, she had a fire

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in her bones to mobilize people in support of

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life. She has been involved in life -valuing

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work in a variety of settings and has experienced

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God's faithfulness and healing in the midst of

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her own weaknesses. As founder of the Tampa Bay

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chapter of Deeper Still, Molly leads a group

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of praying servants as they provide retreats

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where those affected by abortion find freedom

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and restoration. With a bachelor's in psychology

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and master's degrees in communications and public

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policy, Molly believes her greatest credential

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is witnessing God's healing work. She's married

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to Dan and has homeschooled their four children.

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Welcome Molly. Welcome Jody. Share with us a

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little about your childhood and what led you

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to put your faith in Jesus. Well, I grew up in

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a home where there was a divide between my mom

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and my dad. My dad was an analytical research

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chemist and if you couldn't put it in a test

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tube it wasn't knowable. My mom was a Baptist

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Because somebody in her neighborhood and I appreciate

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all those people in neighborhoods who are picking

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up kids that need a church home she got introduced

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to the Baptist Church through a neighbor and

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found Jesus and she when she grew up she was

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looking for a man that believed like she did

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and My dad was a church attender. Most people

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back in the day were church attenders. This is

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like the 50s 1950s and so She thought that that

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qualified and they married but they were really

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very divergent people so for me it was who do

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I follow my mom or my dad and Dad didn't really

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have a whole lot to offer. He was also a wounded

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man in some ways he would he was my mother was

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his second wife she he had been married to really

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the love of his life and this woman died of early

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in their marriage after four years of marriage

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and so he was Grieved from that. I don't think

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he ever totally got over that he married my mom

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on a rebound and I followed her because dad was

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kind of an unknowable guy and and so she was

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the influence in our life and we didn't really

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go to a church because there was never a church

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that was appropriate for my dad because anything

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that had life in it he was not so comfortable

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in. So we wound up just attending what my mom

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took us to and eventually she stopped going because...

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they couldn't go together. It wasn't something

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my dad wanted to participate in. So how did how

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did you meet Jesus? So I wound up actually I

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had always had a God awareness and when I asked

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mom like how do you know that you're following

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God and she had had an experience where in the

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Baptist Church when she met God she was surrounded

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by this bright light so I was like oh my gosh

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that's how you do it you get surrounded by this

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bright light that's how you know and so So I

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would ask God in the in my bedroom father God

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come into my heart come into my heart I mean

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she had taught me enough about the Baptist You

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know way of thinking that you just asked Jesus

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into your heart and then I would look around

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for this bright light And there was never a bright

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light and like it didn't work. It didn't work.

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It didn't work So I saw Billy Graham on television

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when I was 12. And his piercing blue eyes just

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shot into that television screen right into my

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heart. And he's like, you must be born again.

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And I'm like, I'm going to do it one more time.

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Father, God, I really mean it. Come into my heart.

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Come into my heart. No bright light. But he also

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said, or somehow I picked up the idea that if

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you believe with your heart and confess with

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your mouth that Jesus is Lord, you'll be saved.

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So I'm like, I believe with my heart. I'm confessing

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with my mouth, I believe this, and so I'm saved.

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Whether you want me or not, I'm in. That was

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my salvation experience. So you're 12 years old,

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not really having anyone around you to guide

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you. Share the spiritual journey that brought

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you to the place of really taking your faith

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seriously where you really understood what it

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was all about Yeah, because you know when you're

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not really grounded in a church family You get

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grounded in the culture. And so I was just a

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parent of the culture. This was like 70s now

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1970s gosh, I'm old and And so women's lib was

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a big thing at the time. And so I just kind of

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like, you know, I'd write a lot about women's

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rights and I didn't even really know what all

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that meant. I was just a parrot. I really was

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also on some search for truth. After you get

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to the point where you're beginning some critical

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thinking from middle school into high school,

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you begin to get more, maybe a little analytical

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in your thinking. And I was just like, whatever

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truth is, I want to find out what that is and

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follow it with a capital T. And so, and there

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was also rebellion in me. So I have my, like

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my party times, but there was a guy that I had

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been in high school with and I knew that he had

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been involved in the Jesus movement. and he had

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been involved in like coffee houses and things

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like that and he was getting discipled by a Times

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Gazette photographer that was our hometown paper

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and he had the real deal and so When I say the

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real deal, he had a relationship with Jesus and

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it was so attractive to me. My mom had gotten

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involved in all sorts of camps that had charismatic

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overtones to them. So I got introduced to all

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the gifts of the spirit and all these kind of

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camps that seemed to me to be emotional. And

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then this man that was this boyfriend that was

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mentoring me was like, I don't believe that way.

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He felt that those things were hyper emotional

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and so I rejected those because he was really

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kind of my mentor guide and it was again just

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a period of confusion. So when you don't again

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when you don't have a real church family where

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you're just getting truth you're you're meandering

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to find whatever you can. I even took a little

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bit of time looking into spirituality. I had

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a friend that did tarot cards so So yeah, you're

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kind of out there But I did get grounded enough

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in the Bible and start to read the Bible that

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that really became my guide so I was fascinated

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by what the Bible said and that was that was

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my I mentored myself through reading the Word

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of God you went to college and you started going

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to church with this guy and You decided you were

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going to get serious about God And then something

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startling happened. What was it? So I still had

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one foot in the world, one foot in wanting to

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know whatever truth was. And you do, I think

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every Christian comes to the point whether it's

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like, are you going to do this full surrender?

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Are you going to be all the way in? And so I

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remember very clearly one night I had had a,

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honestly, I had had a bag of pot in my car because,

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you know, party friends. And I was thinking of

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who is your Lord? And I threw the bag out the

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window. And I said, yes, I was littering. And

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I said, God is God. He's all I want. I'm serving

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him for an ever and ever. Amen. I'm full in.

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And that point of surrender created in me an

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unexpected understanding of the value of life.

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So I went from kind of adhering to a, you know,

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the women's lib thing back in the high school

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days to, I have a completely different perspective

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now. Life is valuable. We're created in His image.

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We are image bearers. And people that think that

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it's your body, your choice, just don't have

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the full view of how God views life. And that

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set me on a trajectory. of the rest of my life,

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honestly. That became a defining moment where

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I felt like I felt my calling, like I was going

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to advocate for children. I didn't understand

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how people would just throw them away. Yeah,

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so how practically did that change? I mean, you

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were already in college and, you know, but it...

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you all of a sudden start rethinking what you

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were doing. So explain. I was studying horticulture

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at the time. I always loved plants. I quit school.

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I'm like, I can't tell people where to put plants

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in the yard and grow beautiful gardens. I mean,

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there's nothing wrong with that. That is totally

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full of life. But you can't, I was like, they're

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dying in there. They're killing babies and they're

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dying and they don't know Jesus. And they're

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also killing their children and they don't know

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the value of life. And I'm going to dedicate

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my life in. be a pro -life advocate and see if

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we can rescue some of these children. So I got

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really, really busy. I started pro -life groups

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on campus. I got my friends to write letters

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to their senators and talk about we have to be

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on abortion. It's wrong. I went in front of abortion

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clinics. I did some picketing there. I did some

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prayer there after I learned that prayer was

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probably more effective than holding signs up

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and picketing. I did do some rescues. I went

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to jail for nine days. For standing in front

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of abortion clinics the idea back in it This

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is now maybe mid 80s the idea or late 80s 90s

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the idea was stay in front of the abortion clinic

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and bar people from going in to kill their children

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and I know that's a highly controversial view

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but the the idea of the or methodology but the

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idea of the day was This is really life and if

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you were going to be in Auschwitz where they

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saw Jews, you know going into the gas chambers

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once you like get radical and throw your body

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down and be like, no, you can't do this. So we

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were trying to save babies by doing that. And

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it wound up being an amazing experience. We had

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in jail, it just felt like a church service because

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everybody in there was very serious about God.

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And so yeah, I got really, really busy with pro

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-life stuff. So your boyfriend from high school,

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he kind of had broken up with you, but was still

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in touch with you. And he gave you some advice.

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What was it? He told me that if I wanted to go

00:14:15.830 --> 00:14:20.210
ahead and pursue school, graduate school, because

00:14:20.210 --> 00:14:24.149
I was talking about doing so, that Regent University

00:14:24.149 --> 00:14:26.250
would be a good place to go. Because he knew

00:14:26.250 --> 00:14:28.169
one of the professors there and he felt like

00:14:28.169 --> 00:14:31.450
this particular professor was theologically sound.

00:14:32.009 --> 00:14:35.049
So that passed my ex -boyfriend's, you know,

00:14:35.799 --> 00:14:38.120
idea of approval and then the other thing that

00:14:38.120 --> 00:14:40.559
he turned me on to was Keith Green music and

00:14:40.559 --> 00:14:43.919
Keith Green was an artist that wound up dying

00:14:43.919 --> 00:14:46.340
in a plane crash but before he did he was calling

00:14:46.340 --> 00:14:50.039
people to radical commitment to God and so he

00:14:50.039 --> 00:14:52.899
would write songs about no compromise and you

00:14:52.899 --> 00:14:56.299
know give it all to Jesus and so I mentored myself

00:14:56.299 --> 00:14:58.860
again by just going out into the wilderness and

00:14:58.860 --> 00:15:02.669
turning on Keith Green music and crying and praying

00:15:02.669 --> 00:15:06.070
and filling my soul with him. And so my desire

00:15:06.070 --> 00:15:09.409
really was to go down to Last Days Ministry,

00:15:09.490 --> 00:15:11.970
which is where Keith Green established a work.

00:15:12.409 --> 00:15:15.870
And his wife, Melody Green, had got involved.

00:15:16.029 --> 00:15:18.549
He had prophesied over her that she would be

00:15:18.549 --> 00:15:21.929
involved in pro -life work. And so this was like,

00:15:21.929 --> 00:15:26.289
ah, that's where to go because Keith's my favorite

00:15:26.289 --> 00:15:30.059
recording artist and Melody is pursuing the passion

00:15:30.059 --> 00:15:33.059
of my heart, and I would just fit right into

00:15:33.059 --> 00:15:36.379
last days. So I was all ready to do that. And

00:15:36.379 --> 00:15:39.980
the Lord spoke to me and said, I want you to

00:15:39.980 --> 00:15:42.820
go to Regent University instead. I'm like, no,

00:15:42.820 --> 00:15:45.039
I've already gotten all this school. I've already

00:15:45.039 --> 00:15:46.440
gotten all this passion. I've already gotten

00:15:46.440 --> 00:15:49.759
all these things that I want to do. I want to

00:15:49.759 --> 00:15:53.179
go to last days. And God said, Regent University,

00:15:54.000 --> 00:15:56.919
there you go. So you have to obey. Yeah. Yeah.

00:15:56.919 --> 00:16:00.179
So you had quit. you know, your agricultural

00:16:00.179 --> 00:16:02.419
school and then you had actually gotten a degree

00:16:02.419 --> 00:16:05.200
when you went down to Florida. But so when you

00:16:05.200 --> 00:16:07.120
graduated from there, you're like, what do I

00:16:07.120 --> 00:16:09.919
do? Reach a university. But God confirmed it,

00:16:10.019 --> 00:16:13.179
didn't he? He did. There was a sentence on there

00:16:13.179 --> 00:16:16.220
in the application that said in two or three

00:16:16.220 --> 00:16:18.220
sentences, describe the overall goal God has

00:16:18.220 --> 00:16:21.100
for your life. And I didn't want to just flippantly

00:16:21.100 --> 00:16:24.820
put something on paper. So I bowed my head and

00:16:24.820 --> 00:16:26.659
I prayed over my desk and I just felt like I

00:16:26.659 --> 00:16:28.899
had a God moment and he said, I've called you

00:16:28.899 --> 00:16:32.100
to be a mouthpiece for the unborn. And I felt

00:16:32.100 --> 00:16:34.860
like if the Lord wanted me to have more education

00:16:34.860 --> 00:16:37.620
to do that, that I could get a degree in public

00:16:37.620 --> 00:16:39.980
policy because abortion is seen as a political

00:16:39.980 --> 00:16:42.399
issue, even though it's really a human life issue

00:16:42.399 --> 00:16:47.309
and so much more. perceived as there could be

00:16:47.309 --> 00:16:48.990
political solutions for that. And then I wanted

00:16:48.990 --> 00:16:51.490
to be able to articulate it. So I went to the

00:16:51.490 --> 00:16:53.490
School of Communications. Regent offered both

00:16:53.490 --> 00:16:56.769
of these things so that I could articulate a

00:16:56.769 --> 00:16:59.929
pro -life position and also understand from a

00:16:59.929 --> 00:17:03.289
public policy point of view how to encourage

00:17:03.289 --> 00:17:05.890
people to value and honor and respect life, born

00:17:05.890 --> 00:17:08.789
and unborn. So while you were at Regent, how

00:17:08.789 --> 00:17:11.210
did God work in your life? Because it was pretty

00:17:11.210 --> 00:17:14.039
unexpected the way he worked, wasn't it? I sat

00:17:14.039 --> 00:17:16.460
down next to this guy, the very first day that

00:17:16.460 --> 00:17:19.220
I was there, I sat down in chapel next to this

00:17:19.220 --> 00:17:22.500
guy named Dan Gregg. I was a little freaked,

00:17:22.500 --> 00:17:25.680
you know, because I had come from this Presbyterian,

00:17:26.039 --> 00:17:30.240
not charismatic, not Gifts of the Holy Spirit

00:17:30.240 --> 00:17:34.859
background. And all my passion was more, I mean,

00:17:34.859 --> 00:17:37.920
it was heartfelt for sure, but it was also intellectual.

00:17:38.420 --> 00:17:41.700
And so I was trying to understand how all these

00:17:41.700 --> 00:17:47.160
people were so excited to sing and have such

00:17:47.160 --> 00:17:50.819
euphoric praise and that just seemed very emotional

00:17:50.819 --> 00:17:55.420
to me given my background and so Dan just sat

00:17:55.420 --> 00:17:58.460
and listened to me and heard I mean he was actually

00:17:58.460 --> 00:18:02.000
a flaming charismatic person himself but he didn't

00:18:02.009 --> 00:18:05.829
Show that he was just very tender and sweet and

00:18:05.829 --> 00:18:07.630
listened to me and I just felt like wow I met

00:18:07.630 --> 00:18:10.470
a friend today that I can really connect to and

00:18:10.470 --> 00:18:13.809
I I enjoyed his conversation and then I also

00:18:13.809 --> 00:18:17.190
had a Roommate named young suit. She was a Korean

00:18:17.190 --> 00:18:20.450
and she said hey you want to go to this Bible

00:18:20.450 --> 00:18:22.650
study? There's this other Korean on campus. He's

00:18:22.650 --> 00:18:25.589
a He's a guy with a family and he's doing Bible

00:18:25.589 --> 00:18:27.450
studies. He's a student, but he's doing Bible

00:18:27.450 --> 00:18:29.490
studies in his house. And why don't you come

00:18:29.490 --> 00:18:31.589
over and listen to him? And I'm like, okay, I'll,

00:18:31.589 --> 00:18:34.670
I'll go check that out. So, um, his name was

00:18:34.670 --> 00:18:37.769
James Lee. He has a international ministry. It's

00:18:37.769 --> 00:18:43.990
river of life ministry. And so, um, he just kind

00:18:43.990 --> 00:18:46.750
of beelined on me and just like looked at me

00:18:46.750 --> 00:18:49.599
and said, Hey, Why don't you, you know, like

00:18:49.599 --> 00:18:51.559
tell me who you are. You're a new student here.

00:18:52.079 --> 00:18:54.619
Just tell me about yourself." And so I was telling

00:18:54.619 --> 00:18:57.640
him that I was a little concerned about the degree

00:18:57.640 --> 00:19:00.039
of charismatic emotionalism in this school, but

00:19:00.039 --> 00:19:02.339
I nonetheless felt called here. And he heard

00:19:02.339 --> 00:19:04.740
me out and he's like, can I pray for you? And

00:19:04.740 --> 00:19:07.000
I'm like, well, yeah, sure. How do you turn down

00:19:07.000 --> 00:19:09.630
somebody that wants to pray for you? This is

00:19:09.630 --> 00:19:12.170
not socially appropriate. So anyway, so he prayed

00:19:12.170 --> 00:19:14.569
for me and when he prayed for me I felt the power

00:19:14.569 --> 00:19:16.930
of the Holy Spirit just come all over me and

00:19:16.930 --> 00:19:19.569
I went down in the floor just like I had seen

00:19:19.569 --> 00:19:21.509
in those camp meetings of my old You know when

00:19:21.509 --> 00:19:23.930
my mom was taking me, you know, like I'm on the

00:19:23.930 --> 00:19:26.990
floor. I can't move. It was real It was the Lord

00:19:26.990 --> 00:19:30.650
had was rearranging my furniture and so I came

00:19:30.650 --> 00:19:33.589
up speaking in tongues filled with the Holy Spirit

00:19:33.589 --> 00:19:37.140
feeling like God is so real and I have met him

00:19:37.140 --> 00:19:40.319
in such a real way and this When you have an

00:19:40.319 --> 00:19:43.480
experience like that and you sense the peace

00:19:43.480 --> 00:19:46.359
and the power and the majesty of God You can't

00:19:46.359 --> 00:19:48.380
just walk away and say oh that was emotional

00:19:48.380 --> 00:19:52.420
Because from that point on I was hungrier than

00:19:52.420 --> 00:19:55.460
ever I couldn't get enough of the Bible in me.

00:19:55.460 --> 00:19:59.319
I wanted to know What is this power and how does

00:19:59.319 --> 00:20:05.259
that bring how can that? instruct me in helping

00:20:05.259 --> 00:20:07.680
unborn children be respected enough to get out

00:20:07.680 --> 00:20:10.119
of the womb. That was a really defining moment.

00:20:10.660 --> 00:20:14.599
Yeah. And you also met a guy that you started

00:20:14.599 --> 00:20:17.240
dating who was very passionate about pro -life

00:20:17.240 --> 00:20:21.339
things as well. Yeah. His name was Mike. He was...

00:20:20.920 --> 00:20:23.480
he was very helpful. He was a great organizer

00:20:23.480 --> 00:20:25.440
and he worked behind the scenes and he was great.

00:20:25.559 --> 00:20:27.980
So I can be kind of like the front person, loud

00:20:27.980 --> 00:20:30.700
mouth, and he could be one of the things that

00:20:30.700 --> 00:20:33.319
we did together was we set up 4 ,000 crosses

00:20:33.319 --> 00:20:36.079
and across that's about a day's worth of baby

00:20:36.079 --> 00:20:40.839
killing. I know I'm speaking like a unfiltered

00:20:40.839 --> 00:20:43.099
pro -life person because when I'm talking to

00:20:43.099 --> 00:20:45.299
an audience, I would never say a day's worth

00:20:45.299 --> 00:20:47.619
of baby killing. I would be like, this is the

00:20:47.619 --> 00:20:49.940
death toll from abortion over a day. But, you

00:20:49.940 --> 00:20:54.440
know, so in the vernacular of the pro -life movement,

00:20:54.819 --> 00:20:57.339
we were representing all the children that had

00:20:57.339 --> 00:21:01.069
gotten killed in one day. So we put... 4 ,000

00:21:01.069 --> 00:21:04.490
crosses across our school. And we also invited

00:21:04.490 --> 00:21:07.730
Karen Ellison, who runs Deeper still, who we'll

00:21:07.730 --> 00:21:09.829
talk about that in a minute, or talk about that

00:21:09.829 --> 00:21:13.069
later. But she was a director of a pregnancy

00:21:13.069 --> 00:21:15.970
center, a local pregnancy center. So she came

00:21:15.970 --> 00:21:18.769
and shared and brought some of the people who

00:21:18.769 --> 00:21:22.730
are post -abortive with her and said, you can

00:21:22.730 --> 00:21:25.150
take one of these crosses and stand before it

00:21:25.150 --> 00:21:30.049
and let that represent your baby. You know, give

00:21:30.049 --> 00:21:32.250
yourself a chance to grieve the life that you

00:21:32.250 --> 00:21:34.890
never got to grieve. The abortion that you saw

00:21:34.890 --> 00:21:38.309
as a mistake is actually a child that was lost.

00:21:38.690 --> 00:21:41.349
So let's personalize this child by allowing yourself

00:21:41.349 --> 00:21:44.849
to grieve. So it became a real cemetery of ministry.

00:21:45.430 --> 00:21:49.109
And then Sheila Wall, she was one of the 700

00:21:49.109 --> 00:21:51.750
club hosts at the time, got involved and they

00:21:51.750 --> 00:21:57.710
had a big 700 club there in the... Right in among

00:21:57.710 --> 00:22:00.609
the crosses and and so that became a focus too

00:22:00.609 --> 00:22:06.329
for CBN for one of their set sessions, so That

00:22:06.329 --> 00:22:08.170
was just one of the things that Mike and I did

00:22:08.170 --> 00:22:11.230
we would take students up to walk for life to

00:22:11.230 --> 00:22:14.529
March for life in Washington DC and get big buses

00:22:14.529 --> 00:22:17.890
for that so he was just a great hands -on guy

00:22:17.890 --> 00:22:22.329
and and another thing about Mike is that he was

00:22:22.329 --> 00:22:24.670
Emotionally withdrawn and I think one of the

00:22:24.670 --> 00:22:27.380
reasons like he would tell me I'd be like, what

00:22:27.380 --> 00:22:29.180
do you want in relationship? And he'd be like,

00:22:29.420 --> 00:22:32.380
peaceful coexistence would be great. Peaceful

00:22:32.380 --> 00:22:35.119
coexistence. And I'm like, no, I want to get

00:22:35.119 --> 00:22:38.339
to know who you are and how you think and what

00:22:38.339 --> 00:22:40.859
makes you tick. And he's like, peaceful coexistence.

00:22:41.500 --> 00:22:45.240
So there was an overlay of my dad. It's like,

00:22:45.420 --> 00:22:48.450
here's this emotionally unavailable person. And

00:22:48.450 --> 00:22:51.250
if I can connect to this emotionally unavailable

00:22:51.250 --> 00:22:53.990
person or this emotionally withdrawn kind of

00:22:53.990 --> 00:22:56.849
protective shell person, then maybe I can figure

00:22:56.849 --> 00:22:59.809
out my dad's stuff. So that kind of comes into

00:22:59.809 --> 00:23:03.170
play later in the story too. So I was drawn to

00:23:03.170 --> 00:23:06.690
Mike for a lot of wonderful things that he was

00:23:06.690 --> 00:23:10.160
and maybe some unhealthy things that I was. Yeah,

00:23:10.279 --> 00:23:12.279
and so while you were at school, I mean, so much

00:23:12.279 --> 00:23:15.680
changed. You, you know, you received the baptism

00:23:15.680 --> 00:23:19.299
of the Holy Spirit and really felt a deeper connection

00:23:19.299 --> 00:23:23.839
with the Lord. And you had, you know, well, just

00:23:23.839 --> 00:23:26.059
so much else happened. But when you graduated,

00:23:26.920 --> 00:23:30.680
you still had a focus to go to last days. So

00:23:30.680 --> 00:23:33.079
what happened when you graduated? Because, you

00:23:33.079 --> 00:23:35.640
know, you have new relationships, you've got

00:23:35.640 --> 00:23:39.380
a life goal. I was jumping through the hoop of,

00:23:39.579 --> 00:23:41.460
it's like, you know, the check -off, the first

00:23:41.460 --> 00:23:44.440
check -off box was to get my undergrad degree

00:23:44.440 --> 00:23:47.359
so I could go to graduate school and learn more

00:23:47.359 --> 00:23:49.400
stuff. And God seemed to want me to learn more

00:23:49.400 --> 00:23:51.559
stuff. So I checked off the Regent University

00:23:51.559 --> 00:23:54.619
box. And now it's like finally, finally, finally

00:23:54.619 --> 00:23:56.799
the door is open that I can go to Last Days Ministry

00:23:56.799 --> 00:23:59.880
because that was my final destination. I was,

00:24:00.420 --> 00:24:02.259
Last Days Ministry is in Texas. I was ready to

00:24:02.259 --> 00:24:04.410
live and die there. I was ready to... going to

00:24:04.410 --> 00:24:06.750
the East Hills of the Piney Woods of Texas and

00:24:06.750 --> 00:24:10.750
just say, this is my life. I'm going to be working.

00:24:11.230 --> 00:24:13.890
The name of Melody's organization was Americans

00:24:13.890 --> 00:24:17.490
Against Abortion. I also knew that within myself,

00:24:17.490 --> 00:24:20.049
because I'm kind of constructed to make things

00:24:20.049 --> 00:24:22.869
happen, and I didn't want to make things happen

00:24:22.869 --> 00:24:27.769
through Mollie motivation. I wanted to be directed

00:24:27.769 --> 00:24:29.869
by the Lord, because unless the Lord builds the

00:24:29.869 --> 00:24:31.650
house, they labor in vain. And I had figured

00:24:31.650 --> 00:24:36.180
that out. When I went to Texas, I was like, Father

00:24:36.180 --> 00:24:39.440
God, I'm just going to be here on the property.

00:24:39.539 --> 00:24:41.660
I had gone for a print production school that

00:24:41.660 --> 00:24:43.779
they offered. That was kind of like my foot in

00:24:43.779 --> 00:24:46.000
the door. And they had also turned into a youth

00:24:46.000 --> 00:24:48.599
with a mission base. So that was going on as

00:24:48.599 --> 00:24:52.339
well. And I just felt like, God, if you want

00:24:52.339 --> 00:24:57.079
me here, then here's some impossible prayers.

00:24:58.360 --> 00:25:00.940
I'm providing for myself. I'm raising my own

00:25:00.940 --> 00:25:05.220
support to do this ministry. So I pray that the

00:25:05.220 --> 00:25:07.940
housing will work out and that I can have a place

00:25:07.940 --> 00:25:10.700
that's cheap enough or even free to live in.

00:25:11.200 --> 00:25:14.500
I pray that Melody Green herself will ask me.

00:25:14.500 --> 00:25:16.960
I'm like a nobody. I'm just one of you know,

00:25:17.099 --> 00:25:18.920
bunches of people that were coming through there.

00:25:18.920 --> 00:25:21.720
So I there's nothing to distinguish me to her

00:25:21.720 --> 00:25:25.869
at all. But if she wanted me to be part of Americans

00:25:25.869 --> 00:25:27.970
Against Abortion that somehow that would happen

00:25:27.970 --> 00:25:31.809
she would Single me out and ask me herself and

00:25:31.809 --> 00:25:36.150
I'd be like and she was never on campus Never

00:25:36.150 --> 00:25:38.789
the ministry and I didn't really realize the

00:25:38.789 --> 00:25:41.470
state that it was in at the time But it had deteriorated

00:25:41.470 --> 00:25:44.109
to the point she had married somebody that was

00:25:44.109 --> 00:25:47.390
honestly one of the wolves and sheep's clothing

00:25:47.889 --> 00:25:50.829
And a lot of the board members and the leadership

00:25:50.829 --> 00:25:53.930
of the ministry had become disgruntled with how

00:25:53.930 --> 00:25:55.589
things were being managed and they were on their

00:25:55.589 --> 00:25:59.609
way out. And there was a big exodus of the really

00:25:59.609 --> 00:26:02.289
solid people, the long -term solid people that

00:26:02.289 --> 00:26:04.230
had been there. And that's the environment that

00:26:04.230 --> 00:26:07.369
I was coming into. But you didn't realize it

00:26:07.369 --> 00:26:11.099
at the time? No, I thought that This is the mountain

00:26:11.099 --> 00:26:13.700
that God meant me to climb. I'm finally here

00:26:13.700 --> 00:26:17.380
in this set sacred ground and and I'll know that

00:26:17.380 --> 00:26:19.619
I'll know that I'll know that he's called me

00:26:19.619 --> 00:26:21.740
here if melody asked me to head up Americans

00:26:21.740 --> 00:26:25.119
Against Abortion and if I just get my basic needs

00:26:25.119 --> 00:26:26.960
met I mean like I don't mind sleeping on a floor.

00:26:27.200 --> 00:26:30.839
I actually wound up sleeping in the middle of

00:26:30.839 --> 00:26:33.619
a triple bunk with an 18 year old. I was in my

00:26:33.619 --> 00:26:38.920
30s by now with a with a Like kid on the on the

00:26:38.920 --> 00:26:42.079
top that never made her bed and never Never watched

00:26:42.079 --> 00:26:45.039
her sheets and this girl below me too. So I'm

00:26:45.039 --> 00:26:47.440
like slide in between the sandwich, you know

00:26:47.440 --> 00:26:51.099
And that was okay with me. It was just like I'm

00:26:51.099 --> 00:26:53.299
here. It doesn't matter if it's uncomfortable

00:26:53.299 --> 00:26:55.259
I'm not looking for the Hyatt. I'm just looking

00:26:55.259 --> 00:26:59.819
for for a platform through which to serve and

00:26:59.819 --> 00:27:03.259
Melody Green came into our print production school

00:27:03.259 --> 00:27:06.490
and she uh wanted to get to know all the students

00:27:06.490 --> 00:27:09.230
so she was asking you know she asked the guy

00:27:09.230 --> 00:27:11.349
from Paraguay hey why are you here and he's like

00:27:11.349 --> 00:27:14.170
I'm here to make tracks for Jesus and that's

00:27:14.170 --> 00:27:15.670
why I'm at this print production school and she

00:27:15.670 --> 00:27:18.309
got to me and I'm like and I gave her I'm like

00:27:18.309 --> 00:27:21.710
my heart has been to come here for 10 years and

00:27:21.710 --> 00:27:25.950
I've prepared a way educationally and my heart

00:27:25.950 --> 00:27:29.130
is to be an advocate for unborn life and I'm

00:27:29.130 --> 00:27:32.289
so entranced by your Americans Against Abortion

00:27:32.289 --> 00:27:34.009
Ministry I want to serve here and Keith Green

00:27:34.009 --> 00:27:37.410
was my my you know musical mentor and yada yada

00:27:37.410 --> 00:27:39.250
yada and she was just kind of like okay next

00:27:39.250 --> 00:27:43.910
so I thought well I impressed her like zero so

00:27:43.910 --> 00:27:46.569
um but at any rate I got a call the next week

00:27:46.569 --> 00:27:48.650
and she wanted to meet me so I went to her house

00:27:48.650 --> 00:27:53.029
and met her and she asked me if I wanted to be

00:27:54.539 --> 00:27:56.759
her representatives for Americans Against Abortion

00:27:56.759 --> 00:27:58.480
with the idea that she would be turning this

00:27:58.480 --> 00:28:01.539
whole platform over to me and giving me a national

00:28:01.539 --> 00:28:05.279
stage and In one sense it was mind -boggling

00:28:05.279 --> 00:28:07.039
and in the other sense it was like well, of course

00:28:07.039 --> 00:28:09.799
because this is why God called me here So I was

00:28:09.799 --> 00:28:11.859
just so excited. It's like, you know I just felt

00:28:11.859 --> 00:28:14.579
like the clouds open the angels are singing the

00:28:14.579 --> 00:28:16.779
hallelujah chorus and God is going well done

00:28:16.779 --> 00:28:19.059
good and faithful girl because you know You said

00:28:19.059 --> 00:28:24.869
yes, and this is this is my plan And I had friends

00:28:24.869 --> 00:28:27.609
come, I had met this girl and her parents were

00:28:27.609 --> 00:28:29.750
like, we're going to bequeath a house in Lindale,

00:28:29.750 --> 00:28:32.990
Texas, which is where the ministry was, to pro

00:28:32.990 --> 00:28:35.990
-life missionaries. And Molly, would you stay

00:28:35.990 --> 00:28:41.049
there free and live in our house for free? Doesn't

00:28:41.049 --> 00:28:43.609
that sound like answered prayer? It sure does.

00:28:44.250 --> 00:28:47.109
Okay, it was the right move to leave Mike back

00:28:47.109 --> 00:28:50.160
in. He went back to New York. Dan and I were

00:28:50.160 --> 00:28:52.539
still in touch because he was just like my best

00:28:52.539 --> 00:28:55.500
bud. And so, you know, but he's off doing his

00:28:55.500 --> 00:28:58.480
thing. And Dan and I would call every once in

00:28:58.480 --> 00:29:00.920
a while because we were truly good friends. And

00:29:00.920 --> 00:29:02.900
one day he called me and he said, hey, Molly,

00:29:02.960 --> 00:29:04.619
I won't be calling you anymore. I'm like, why?

00:29:04.779 --> 00:29:08.000
He's like, well, you know, I always kind of hope

00:29:08.000 --> 00:29:09.700
things would work out with you, but they never

00:29:09.700 --> 00:29:11.920
did. And you just don't seem to have that same

00:29:11.920 --> 00:29:14.680
reciprocal passion. And I'm getting married.

00:29:14.720 --> 00:29:17.589
And so. It would just be inappropriate for me

00:29:17.589 --> 00:29:22.970
to stand touch with you. And I'm like, man, I'm

00:29:22.970 --> 00:29:25.769
really sad about that, but I'm really, really

00:29:25.769 --> 00:29:28.670
happy for you. She must be an amazing girl to

00:29:28.670 --> 00:29:32.410
get a catch like you. And that was that. I was

00:29:32.410 --> 00:29:34.529
okay because I'm going to do pro -life ministry

00:29:34.529 --> 00:29:36.910
for the rest of my life in Lindale, Texas. You

00:29:36.910 --> 00:29:39.250
started traveling around and speaking and representing,

00:29:39.869 --> 00:29:44.029
but the dream of working there at Last Days really

00:29:44.029 --> 00:29:49.410
came crashing down. not too long later. Share

00:29:49.410 --> 00:29:52.549
about that and how that affected you. So I mentioned

00:29:52.549 --> 00:29:56.190
that there was an exodus mass exodus of leadership

00:29:56.190 --> 00:29:58.069
when I was getting there and the reasons for

00:29:58.069 --> 00:30:00.650
that were because there was some corruption,

00:30:01.009 --> 00:30:05.069
sad but true. No ministry is immune from corruption

00:30:05.069 --> 00:30:07.309
no matter how passionate and beautiful and pure

00:30:07.309 --> 00:30:09.170
-hearted it gets. This is something we always

00:30:09.170 --> 00:30:13.529
need to be diligent about to guard. So it was

00:30:13.529 --> 00:30:18.660
really Melody's new husband at the top was taking

00:30:18.660 --> 00:30:21.480
money that was bequeathed for Americans Against

00:30:21.480 --> 00:30:26.940
Abortion and wanting to use it to start a musician's

00:30:26.940 --> 00:30:31.319
camp and retreat center and father heart maternity

00:30:31.319 --> 00:30:35.440
home that had been bequeathed to Americans Against

00:30:35.440 --> 00:30:40.720
Abortion and last days ministry to oversee along

00:30:40.720 --> 00:30:42.619
with youth with a mission because they were all

00:30:42.619 --> 00:30:45.779
getting intertwined now he wanted to take that

00:30:45.779 --> 00:30:49.779
property and turn it into a musician's artist

00:30:49.779 --> 00:30:54.519
retreat and so he was shifting things the way

00:30:54.519 --> 00:31:01.220
that God and the givers did not intend and And

00:31:01.220 --> 00:31:03.599
there was not really any accountability left

00:31:03.599 --> 00:31:06.480
because people had left, so many people had left

00:31:06.480 --> 00:31:09.720
key positions. So this beautiful ministry had

00:31:09.720 --> 00:31:13.380
a lot of holes in the infrastructure. And you

00:31:13.380 --> 00:31:17.059
can't continue to sustain something that is riddled

00:31:17.059 --> 00:31:23.740
with termites. And some of the music that Keith

00:31:23.740 --> 00:31:27.859
Green had developed, this guy was getting rights

00:31:27.859 --> 00:31:32.380
to. And so there were just a lot of really sad,

00:31:33.880 --> 00:31:38.220
corrupt, crazy things going on there. And so

00:31:38.220 --> 00:31:41.259
there really weren't the funds or the support

00:31:41.259 --> 00:31:45.480
or the infrastructure to have anything as national

00:31:45.480 --> 00:31:51.300
in scope as Americans' abortion had been. without

00:31:51.300 --> 00:31:53.440
resources and without a functioning ministry,

00:31:53.500 --> 00:31:56.940
you can't really sustain it. No one person can

00:31:56.940 --> 00:32:00.200
do what a whole team of people can do. And so

00:32:00.200 --> 00:32:04.180
I began rather quickly to realize this dream

00:32:04.180 --> 00:32:06.259
was turning into a nightmare. I thought that

00:32:06.259 --> 00:32:08.539
I was on the cruise of a lifetime and the name

00:32:08.539 --> 00:32:13.740
of it was the Titanic. I was time to bail. There's

00:32:13.740 --> 00:32:18.220
also a disappointment with God in that What kind

00:32:18.220 --> 00:32:21.740
of practical joke was this? You know, I thought

00:32:21.740 --> 00:32:25.119
that you would call me here. I had these amazing

00:32:25.119 --> 00:32:28.220
confirmations through housing and Melody's personal

00:32:28.220 --> 00:32:33.259
invitation. And now the dream's a nightmare.

00:32:34.839 --> 00:32:38.079
And how do I trust God? How do I trust that I

00:32:38.079 --> 00:32:40.660
can hear from God if this is the outcome? So

00:32:40.660 --> 00:32:43.160
that was a very confusing thing to work through,

00:32:43.500 --> 00:32:46.940
too. You decided you were going to leave. But

00:32:46.940 --> 00:32:49.960
you you wanted to finish one one more project.

00:32:49.960 --> 00:32:54.960
I had met a woman there who was a satanic ritual

00:32:54.960 --> 00:32:58.900
abuses survivor and She can tell you stories

00:32:58.900 --> 00:33:02.619
to curl your hair the things that she went through

00:33:02.619 --> 00:33:05.579
She had a deep respect for life, but she had

00:33:05.579 --> 00:33:08.900
been forced into multiple abortions as child

00:33:08.900 --> 00:33:13.160
sacrifice this is real it happens it happens

00:33:13.160 --> 00:33:17.730
today and so She and I became friends and she

00:33:17.730 --> 00:33:21.829
said, I'd like to just offer post -abortion recovery

00:33:21.829 --> 00:33:26.289
in a retreat setting for people in the ministry

00:33:26.289 --> 00:33:28.890
that I know have abortions in their background.

00:33:29.569 --> 00:33:33.609
And I said, I'm all for you and let's partner

00:33:33.609 --> 00:33:35.630
together and do this thing. And that was the

00:33:35.630 --> 00:33:38.349
last thing that I was going to do before I went

00:33:38.349 --> 00:33:41.069
home. I was going to go back and take care of

00:33:41.069 --> 00:33:42.730
my parents because they were getting elderly.

00:33:43.289 --> 00:33:47.000
Well, right before that retreat, I got a call

00:33:47.000 --> 00:33:49.900
from my mom and she said your dad's had a stroke

00:33:49.900 --> 00:33:53.019
and I'm like, oh my gosh Well, I'm gonna fly

00:33:53.019 --> 00:33:55.220
on the next plane out and see how he's doing

00:33:55.220 --> 00:33:58.519
and so I got the next plane because I had like

00:33:58.519 --> 00:34:00.259
three or four days before this retreat started

00:34:00.259 --> 00:34:04.839
So I flew to Ohio. I saw that he was fine But

00:34:04.839 --> 00:34:08.719
my mom was delusional And what it was, it was

00:34:08.719 --> 00:34:12.179
a fast -acting Alzheimer's dementia called diffuse

00:34:12.179 --> 00:34:14.599
Lewy body. We didn't know that at the time. I

00:34:14.599 --> 00:34:16.440
just knew that she was really off and she was

00:34:16.440 --> 00:34:20.139
seeing things in odd ways. And she even has some

00:34:20.139 --> 00:34:23.159
hallucinations. And so I'm like, I have got to,

00:34:23.260 --> 00:34:25.800
as soon as this retreat's over, get home, start

00:34:25.800 --> 00:34:29.699
taking care of my mom and be there for my parents.

00:34:30.099 --> 00:34:31.420
You know, if we're going to be pro -life, we

00:34:31.420 --> 00:34:37.240
got to be pro -life on both sides of life. elderly

00:34:37.240 --> 00:34:41.699
and little ones and all in between so I was so

00:34:41.699 --> 00:34:44.539
hurt and I was so disappointed and I was so confused

00:34:44.539 --> 00:34:47.639
and so broken I've kind of felt like I was a

00:34:47.639 --> 00:34:51.420
refugee coming out of the ministry and I made

00:34:51.420 --> 00:34:55.840
a decision that I God redeemed it but I called

00:34:55.840 --> 00:34:59.179
Mike up and I said hey Mike I'm back in Ohio

00:34:59.179 --> 00:35:01.559
I'm not in Texas so that means I'm about a thousand

00:35:01.559 --> 00:35:06.300
twelve hundred miles closer to you and She just

00:35:06.300 --> 00:35:09.280
want to get together and talk He knew that I'd

00:35:09.280 --> 00:35:12.900
left him to do this ministry thing now this ministry

00:35:12.900 --> 00:35:15.519
thing wasn't working and I'm like do we still

00:35:15.519 --> 00:35:21.000
have something So he drove down to see me. He

00:35:21.000 --> 00:35:23.920
had been broken, too I don't think I realized

00:35:23.920 --> 00:35:26.679
how devastating he found it that I just kind

00:35:26.679 --> 00:35:31.179
of booked off and went to Texas and so we got

00:35:31.179 --> 00:35:35.329
together and fell into sexual sin and I was the

00:35:35.329 --> 00:35:37.670
kind of girl that's like, I'm going to be a virgin

00:35:37.670 --> 00:35:40.349
on my wedding day. I'm going to wear white down

00:35:40.349 --> 00:35:43.849
the aisle and really mean it. And no, that wasn't

00:35:43.849 --> 00:35:47.809
what happened at all. I wound up conceiving a

00:35:47.809 --> 00:35:52.369
child that night. Well, I remember you told me

00:35:52.369 --> 00:35:55.489
here, you know, when we talked earlier, you found

00:35:55.489 --> 00:35:59.670
yourself a pro -life to crisis pregnancy situation.

00:36:00.670 --> 00:36:03.969
And that was a bombshell. I mean, what What did

00:36:03.969 --> 00:36:07.809
you go through emotionally and spiritually during

00:36:07.809 --> 00:36:09.909
that time? Because it affects all of us, right?

00:36:10.010 --> 00:36:12.070
I mean, spiritually, you know, I did this thing,

00:36:12.130 --> 00:36:16.030
God. And emotionally, hormones affect our emotions.

00:36:16.269 --> 00:36:18.909
And physically, you're changing and you're leaving

00:36:18.909 --> 00:36:22.610
this ministry that you love. I mean, what did

00:36:22.610 --> 00:36:25.070
it do? And how did you experience God's faithfulness?

00:36:25.090 --> 00:36:27.630
Because he showed himself so faithful. It was

00:36:27.630 --> 00:36:32.519
amazing. It's an amazing Cinderella story. I

00:36:32.519 --> 00:36:37.019
would say that the first thing is my identity

00:36:37.019 --> 00:36:41.519
had been all wrapped up in Molly Stone at the

00:36:41.519 --> 00:36:44.780
time, pro -lifer, Molly Stone pro -life ministry.

00:36:45.239 --> 00:36:48.079
And it was like I was performing for God, even

00:36:48.079 --> 00:36:50.820
though I know that our value, just like a gold

00:36:50.820 --> 00:36:53.670
ring is intrinsically valued. valuable. You don't

00:36:53.670 --> 00:36:55.730
have to convince anybody that gold has value.

00:36:55.730 --> 00:36:58.190
It's just intrinsic. This is the beauty of our

00:36:58.190 --> 00:37:00.469
creation in God's image. We are intrinsically

00:37:00.469 --> 00:37:03.230
valuable. We're stamped. We're created in the

00:37:03.230 --> 00:37:07.030
very likeness of God. And so we have amazing

00:37:07.030 --> 00:37:09.849
amounts of value. But in our world system, we

00:37:09.849 --> 00:37:12.489
feel like we have to prove our value by, you

00:37:12.489 --> 00:37:14.889
know, what do we bring to the table? Good looks

00:37:14.889 --> 00:37:18.090
or performance or ability to write or communicate

00:37:18.090 --> 00:37:20.969
or athletic ability or whatever it is. We always

00:37:20.969 --> 00:37:23.579
have to prove ourselves. Somehow I had gotten

00:37:23.579 --> 00:37:25.840
this idea that I was going to prove my worth

00:37:25.840 --> 00:37:28.019
to God by being this pro -liferate and now I

00:37:28.019 --> 00:37:31.260
was a crisis pregnancy and it was an identity

00:37:31.260 --> 00:37:37.579
crisis for me. And so I thank God for that because

00:37:37.579 --> 00:37:41.500
in that brokenness you become Molly child of

00:37:41.500 --> 00:37:44.860
God, not Molly performance orientation, but Molly.

00:37:45.460 --> 00:37:47.340
intrinsically valuable just because he loves

00:37:47.340 --> 00:37:49.519
us in spite of our flaws and in spite of our

00:37:49.519 --> 00:37:52.900
failures. But being pregnant was a shame producer

00:37:52.900 --> 00:37:56.480
for me. And I wore shame very, very well. I mean,

00:37:56.559 --> 00:38:00.079
I embraced shame as like, I was going to be this

00:38:00.079 --> 00:38:03.500
good Christian girl, like I said, you know, the

00:38:03.500 --> 00:38:08.340
Virgin Bride. Now I'm this 30 year old, they're

00:38:08.340 --> 00:38:17.809
in my 30s, pregnant, has been No job, no nothing.

00:38:17.989 --> 00:38:19.969
I didn't feel like I had anything to show for

00:38:19.969 --> 00:38:24.010
all this passion. It was just, you know, gone.

00:38:25.969 --> 00:38:29.730
And Mike originally was kind of excited that

00:38:29.730 --> 00:38:32.750
we were going to have a baby, but he quickly

00:38:32.750 --> 00:38:37.170
did some backstepping and I began to feel him

00:38:37.170 --> 00:38:41.489
slipping away. I had emotionally. which not that

00:38:41.489 --> 00:38:43.750
we were ever that emotionally connected anyway.

00:38:44.269 --> 00:38:48.070
We were good working. We had a good working relationship

00:38:48.070 --> 00:38:51.769
because he was a hard worker. But as far as the

00:38:51.769 --> 00:38:56.909
heart connection, I remember writing out things

00:38:56.909 --> 00:38:59.610
that I was frustrated with about my dad. Here's

00:38:59.610 --> 00:39:03.030
a little connection about how we tend to try

00:39:03.030 --> 00:39:06.659
to fix things in our parent. romantic relationships.

00:39:06.940 --> 00:39:10.460
I was frustrated and I wrote out all these things

00:39:10.460 --> 00:39:13.699
where I was hurt by dad because he was never

00:39:13.699 --> 00:39:15.900
attentive or I was hurt by dad because I would

00:39:15.900 --> 00:39:17.880
try to talk to him and he would only talk about

00:39:17.880 --> 00:39:20.099
like chemistry stuff that I couldn't relate to

00:39:20.099 --> 00:39:22.860
and I'm not here to bash my father. He was a

00:39:22.860 --> 00:39:25.480
wonderful provider but I'm making the connection

00:39:25.480 --> 00:39:29.949
that At some point I had to deal with the emotional

00:39:29.949 --> 00:39:33.230
lack of having a dad that was connected to me

00:39:33.230 --> 00:39:37.010
and so I took out a big red marker and the things

00:39:37.010 --> 00:39:40.590
that I had been hurt by I said that's under the

00:39:40.590 --> 00:39:42.809
blood in the marker and I'm like that's under

00:39:42.809 --> 00:39:45.130
the blood in the marker and that's under the

00:39:45.130 --> 00:39:50.789
blood and then when I compared that to The lack

00:39:50.789 --> 00:39:53.309
of connectivity that I had felt towards Mike

00:39:54.460 --> 00:39:58.340
something got fixed in forgiveness in forgiving

00:39:58.340 --> 00:40:02.519
my dad it's like I began to see him in a more

00:40:02.519 --> 00:40:06.739
realistic way what my attraction to him was and

00:40:06.739 --> 00:40:10.559
you know I probably owe him a big apology for

00:40:10.559 --> 00:40:14.119
sucking him into my emotional mess but the truth

00:40:14.119 --> 00:40:17.199
is when we get healed and we deal with the things

00:40:17.199 --> 00:40:20.340
that are in our past we can begin to see relationships

00:40:20.340 --> 00:40:24.219
in a healthier way. So Mike exiting or Mike abandoning

00:40:24.219 --> 00:40:25.780
me really because that's what he wound up doing

00:40:25.780 --> 00:40:28.619
he wound up leaving me and getting involved with

00:40:28.619 --> 00:40:32.679
another woman as I was growing this baby of ours

00:40:32.679 --> 00:40:37.460
and in one sense I can't fault him for that because

00:40:37.460 --> 00:40:41.440
we we had a We had a dead -end relationship.

00:40:41.599 --> 00:40:43.380
He wanted different things. He wanted peaceful

00:40:43.380 --> 00:40:48.980
coexistence. So where does that leave me? So

00:40:48.980 --> 00:40:52.460
now I'm taking care of my mom and dad, and I

00:40:52.460 --> 00:40:55.159
got a job in Cleveland, Ohio, and there in Ashland,

00:40:55.199 --> 00:40:57.219
which is about an hour south of there. So I would

00:40:57.219 --> 00:40:59.260
take care of my mom and dad on weekends, grow

00:40:59.260 --> 00:41:03.719
this baby. I found a small little apartment in

00:41:03.719 --> 00:41:06.460
Cleveland. It's still with a family originally

00:41:06.460 --> 00:41:09.099
and then as I was getting bigger they're like

00:41:09.099 --> 00:41:13.320
we don't know how this looks to our 9 10 11 year

00:41:13.320 --> 00:41:17.280
old son who's asking questions so boy I could

00:41:17.280 --> 00:41:23.519
talk about Please avoid having the token, you

00:41:23.519 --> 00:41:29.190
know the token person to help If you're on the

00:41:29.190 --> 00:41:32.349
helping end of taking in a woman who's in need,

00:41:32.630 --> 00:41:35.230
you know, that's not your trophy That's she's

00:41:35.230 --> 00:41:37.730
she's needy. So anyway, they asked me to leave

00:41:37.730 --> 00:41:40.570
the house So I got a because of their son was

00:41:40.570 --> 00:41:43.150
asking questions So I got a little apartment

00:41:43.150 --> 00:41:46.210
there in the area and I was working and then

00:41:46.210 --> 00:41:48.110
caring for my parents on the weekend and going

00:41:48.110 --> 00:41:49.869
back to work and caring for my parents on the

00:41:49.869 --> 00:41:52.469
weekend and that was just kind of my life and

00:41:52.650 --> 00:41:56.690
and just felt like I can figure out how I can

00:41:56.690 --> 00:42:00.710
raise this baby. I will have strength. At first

00:42:00.710 --> 00:42:03.050
I thought I should give this baby up for adoption

00:42:03.050 --> 00:42:05.650
because it's so unfair to this child that they

00:42:05.650 --> 00:42:08.469
are being gonna be denied a dad. Then here's

00:42:08.469 --> 00:42:13.369
what changed my mind. Dan called and he said,

00:42:13.530 --> 00:42:18.769
hey Molly, I am not gonna get married. I'm like,

00:42:18.769 --> 00:42:24.400
what? He said, yeah. My fiance had four days

00:42:24.400 --> 00:42:26.380
of panic attacks and called off the wedding.

00:42:26.400 --> 00:42:28.739
They were six weeks away from a wedding He had

00:42:28.739 --> 00:42:30.920
already purchased a townhome for them to live

00:42:30.920 --> 00:42:33.119
in. She was currently living there. She was a

00:42:33.119 --> 00:42:36.380
decent woman She said, you know, I she gave everything

00:42:36.380 --> 00:42:39.739
back and they they settled everything thing in

00:42:39.739 --> 00:42:44.260
a friendly way But I'm like Really? And I'm like,

00:42:44.320 --> 00:42:48.219
well, I have some news Remember Mike. He's like,

00:42:48.360 --> 00:42:51.320
yeah, I remember Mike. He's like I'm I'm pregnant

00:42:51.320 --> 00:42:57.760
with He's like, you? Like, yeah, here's what

00:42:57.760 --> 00:42:59.300
happened, blah, blah, blah. So we did all this

00:42:59.300 --> 00:43:01.920
catching up. It was quite the phone call. And

00:43:01.920 --> 00:43:04.760
I told him, I said, I have an ultrasound appointment

00:43:04.760 --> 00:43:06.820
coming up. And I know that Mike's going to stiff

00:43:06.820 --> 00:43:10.019
me. I've asked him to please drive down and come

00:43:10.019 --> 00:43:12.179
to this ultrasound. I was trying to actually

00:43:12.179 --> 00:43:14.960
be like, do you realize we have a baby here and

00:43:14.960 --> 00:43:22.159
we need to do some parental plans? Anyway, I

00:43:22.159 --> 00:43:25.420
said, I know he's gonna stand me up and Dan's

00:43:25.420 --> 00:43:28.360
like, you know what? There's airfare wars right

00:43:28.360 --> 00:43:31.699
now and I can fly out to Cleveland for $22. When's

00:43:31.699 --> 00:43:37.119
your appointment? So he came. He came and he

00:43:37.119 --> 00:43:40.539
met me at the airport and he had flowers and

00:43:40.539 --> 00:43:44.219
he put his hand on my, you know, swelling baby

00:43:44.219 --> 00:43:46.679
bump and he prayed a blessing over the child.

00:43:47.039 --> 00:43:49.519
Then he went to the ultrasound with me and he

00:43:49.519 --> 00:43:52.619
was just so excited. He's like, oh my gosh, it's

00:43:52.619 --> 00:43:55.780
a girl Oh, look at her. Look, that's her heartbeat.

00:43:55.980 --> 00:43:58.780
Molly. This is just so amazing and I'm looking

00:43:58.780 --> 00:44:02.760
at him going like The father of this baby is

00:44:02.760 --> 00:44:05.340
like zero excitement and you're like on this

00:44:05.340 --> 00:44:08.500
10 scale because you're just so fascinated by

00:44:08.500 --> 00:44:13.920
life and After seeing that ultrasound and seeing

00:44:13.920 --> 00:44:17.559
Dan's reaction to it, honestly, I'm like I'm

00:44:17.559 --> 00:44:20.300
not gonna give this baby up for adoption so that

00:44:20.300 --> 00:44:23.300
they can have a dad. I'm gonna raise this child

00:44:23.300 --> 00:44:26.739
and see what happens. And so Dan and I stayed

00:44:26.739 --> 00:44:31.199
in touch. And then at seven months pregnant,

00:44:31.519 --> 00:44:36.980
I got a call from Mike and he said, hey, there's

00:44:36.980 --> 00:44:38.340
another thing that happened seven months pregnant,

00:44:38.480 --> 00:44:41.599
I'll get two. He said, hey, I'm serious about

00:44:41.599 --> 00:44:45.579
this other girl and you know. Molly you're strong.

00:44:45.599 --> 00:44:48.380
You're gonna land on your feet. You'll be fine

00:44:48.380 --> 00:44:57.320
Okay So I'm flooding My whole work cubicle. I'm

00:44:57.320 --> 00:44:59.179
like, there's no way that I can concentrate on

00:44:59.179 --> 00:45:02.320
anything else after that bombshell So I I asked

00:45:02.320 --> 00:45:06.280
I told my boss I said look I will take off I'll

00:45:06.280 --> 00:45:08.900
come in and work all weekend. I just can't function

00:45:08.900 --> 00:45:12.119
right now Mike's leaving me he's got another

00:45:12.119 --> 00:45:14.460
girlfriend in his life and that's it he's like

00:45:14.460 --> 00:45:18.639
go home i went home i took a bath and i was just

00:45:18.639 --> 00:45:22.860
praying and i'm like father god you work all

00:45:22.860 --> 00:45:26.420
things together for good and i'm going to pray

00:45:26.420 --> 00:45:29.940
three impossible prayers and i hope i can trust

00:45:29.940 --> 00:45:32.400
you in them because i still had wondered about

00:45:32.400 --> 00:45:36.219
my ability to follow what god said and hear correctly

00:45:36.219 --> 00:45:39.019
from god i said my first impossible prayer is

00:45:39.019 --> 00:45:42.360
would you please Let me go down to Florida and

00:45:42.360 --> 00:45:44.239
walk the beaches of Florida because that's where

00:45:44.239 --> 00:45:46.820
I meet you the clearest and the best and it's

00:45:46.820 --> 00:45:50.039
a place of peace for me. My second impossible

00:45:50.039 --> 00:45:52.780
prayer is can you please just take care of my

00:45:52.780 --> 00:45:55.860
parents while I'm trying to have this baby and

00:45:55.860 --> 00:45:58.300
make sure that my parents are okay because I

00:45:58.300 --> 00:46:02.920
can't have a newborn and be whole enough and

00:46:02.920 --> 00:46:07.079
functional enough to take, you know, elder care.

00:46:07.320 --> 00:46:11.400
as well. And thirdly, and this is my most inappropriate

00:46:11.400 --> 00:46:15.260
request, could Dan Grigg be there for the birth

00:46:15.260 --> 00:46:17.460
of this baby instead of some stranger that I

00:46:17.460 --> 00:46:19.920
met at a pregnancy center that I don't know?

00:46:20.559 --> 00:46:24.699
And could I just have him with me? He's my human

00:46:24.699 --> 00:46:29.639
rock, and I would just love that. So fast forward,

00:46:29.980 --> 00:46:32.320
I got laid off, it was right before Christmas,

00:46:32.679 --> 00:46:39.059
and Dan called me and said, hey, Molly. In January,

00:46:40.059 --> 00:46:44.219
he taught international students English. And

00:46:44.219 --> 00:46:48.320
so through the program that he was in, he said

00:46:48.320 --> 00:46:51.170
in January... We're taking a bunch of students

00:46:51.170 --> 00:46:54.409
down to Florida that we're gonna give them to

00:46:54.409 --> 00:46:56.710
Disney World They need some chaperones only for

00:46:56.710 --> 00:46:59.710
the air ride only for the airplane to go down

00:46:59.710 --> 00:47:01.809
there So we wouldn't have a lot of responsibilities

00:47:01.809 --> 00:47:04.369
But I know how much the beaches of Florida mean

00:47:04.369 --> 00:47:06.289
to you and your ability to connect to God there

00:47:06.289 --> 00:47:08.690
And so I just wanted to ask you if you wanted

00:47:08.690 --> 00:47:12.389
to come down and you know Molly we're friends.

00:47:12.429 --> 00:47:15.610
I get it. We're just friends, but I'm just operating

00:47:15.610 --> 00:47:18.480
so I'm You know, this isn't a romantic thing.

00:47:18.500 --> 00:47:20.659
This is like, you can't have a chance to come

00:47:20.659 --> 00:47:23.400
down to the beaches of Florida. This is Dan being

00:47:23.400 --> 00:47:28.000
Dan, Mr. Sensitive Sweet. So I'm like, wow, do

00:47:28.000 --> 00:47:30.300
I stay laid off in my freeze a little apartment?

00:47:30.440 --> 00:47:34.099
Or do I, you know, go with Dan? I didn't have

00:47:34.099 --> 00:47:37.139
to think very long about that. And my parents

00:47:37.139 --> 00:47:41.400
had moved next to my sister who... Did say that

00:47:41.400 --> 00:47:43.119
she was going to be taking care of them So they

00:47:43.119 --> 00:47:45.320
were currently moving out of Ohio for the winter

00:47:45.320 --> 00:47:49.440
and down to Atlanta, Georgia and so I was alone

00:47:49.440 --> 00:47:54.980
getting bigger and and I went with Dan to Florida

00:47:54.980 --> 00:47:57.500
and He was going to be checking out a business

00:47:57.500 --> 00:47:59.820
opportunity down there as well a school where

00:47:59.820 --> 00:48:05.199
he could teach and So we were just having a the

00:48:05.199 --> 00:48:08.340
kind of conversation and intimate conversation

00:48:08.340 --> 00:48:11.320
understanding connectivity that we've always

00:48:11.320 --> 00:48:14.500
had and there was a moment at the beach when

00:48:14.500 --> 00:48:18.239
I looked at him and I was just like this guy

00:48:18.239 --> 00:48:23.000
is everything that your heart longs for someone

00:48:23.000 --> 00:48:25.219
that you can totally connect to someone that

00:48:25.219 --> 00:48:30.260
you can get into his world someone that is uh

00:48:30.260 --> 00:48:33.619
intellectually you know the same, someone that

00:48:33.619 --> 00:48:36.079
has your values, someone that loves children.

00:48:36.519 --> 00:48:38.800
All he's ever wanted to do is be a dad and have

00:48:38.800 --> 00:48:42.300
a family. And I looked at him and I was just

00:48:42.300 --> 00:48:46.900
like, could you see it, Dan? Could you see maybe

00:48:46.900 --> 00:48:50.039
us being a family? I don't want to come off as

00:48:50.039 --> 00:48:55.380
like this desperate woman, but his response was,

00:48:55.760 --> 00:49:01.800
Molls, you're all I've ever really wanted. So

00:49:01.800 --> 00:49:05.760
we just kind of knew. It was telepathically like,

00:49:06.179 --> 00:49:10.320
we're gonna, God's putting this together. We're

00:49:10.320 --> 00:49:14.000
gonna be a family. Nine years of this guy being

00:49:14.000 --> 00:49:17.920
my friend and I finally get the eye opener. So

00:49:17.920 --> 00:49:21.880
anyway, I was supposed to fly out the next day.

00:49:21.880 --> 00:49:24.219
I was gonna fly into Atlanta and be with my parents,

00:49:24.239 --> 00:49:27.119
make sure that they were okay and just kind of

00:49:27.119 --> 00:49:29.670
start that elder care thing again. and I got

00:49:29.670 --> 00:49:31.630
up to the phone booth because back in the day

00:49:31.630 --> 00:49:34.949
they still had telephones out in public and I

00:49:34.949 --> 00:49:39.429
called my mom called her number and my water

00:49:39.429 --> 00:49:43.369
broke right there on golf boulevard busy thoroughfare

00:49:43.369 --> 00:49:46.429
you know and I'm like I hung up the phone before

00:49:46.429 --> 00:49:50.050
it ever actually did the ring and I looked at

00:49:50.050 --> 00:49:51.809
Dan and I said I don't think I'm getting on an

00:49:51.809 --> 00:49:54.349
airplane tomorrow and he's like what I'm like

00:49:54.519 --> 00:49:57.239
I think I'm having a baby and my water just broke.

00:49:57.300 --> 00:49:59.219
So it's like, oh my gosh, so call the doctor.

00:49:59.260 --> 00:50:02.059
So we called the doctor and she's like, get to

00:50:02.059 --> 00:50:04.739
the nearest tertiary care hospital. We're like

00:50:04.739 --> 00:50:06.500
flagging people down right on the beach. Like

00:50:06.500 --> 00:50:09.199
where's a hospital that's like high end, whatever.

00:50:09.900 --> 00:50:13.059
And so we had a... Dan had his rental car so

00:50:13.059 --> 00:50:16.019
he drove us to the hospital and it was the doctor

00:50:16.019 --> 00:50:18.659
said yes this is a gross rupture of membranes

00:50:18.659 --> 00:50:21.480
this baby's coming there's no slowing it down

00:50:21.480 --> 00:50:24.059
you're six weeks early we're going to give you

00:50:24.059 --> 00:50:26.780
some surfactant on the lungs and see if that

00:50:26.780 --> 00:50:30.159
can help with the immaturity here and you're

00:50:30.159 --> 00:50:33.349
having a baby and Dan was with me That was the

00:50:33.349 --> 00:50:36.809
answer to prayer. My parents were okay. I was

00:50:36.809 --> 00:50:40.530
in Florida having this amazing moment with God

00:50:40.530 --> 00:50:44.150
Dan on the beach. And Dan was with me during

00:50:44.150 --> 00:50:46.670
this whole process. And he was the first non

00:50:46.670 --> 00:50:51.889
-medical person that baby Erin, E -R -I -N, saw.

00:50:52.130 --> 00:50:54.590
So he put his little finger down in her crib

00:50:54.590 --> 00:50:56.789
and she grabbed his finger with a really pretty

00:50:56.789 --> 00:50:59.909
strong grip, he said. And he just fell in love.

00:51:00.170 --> 00:51:03.010
He was already in love. He was in love from the

00:51:03.010 --> 00:51:06.469
ultrasound. So did God supply above and beyond

00:51:06.469 --> 00:51:08.429
what you can ask or hope or dream or imagine?

00:51:08.590 --> 00:51:10.650
I mean, you know, the wonderful thing, Molly,

00:51:10.829 --> 00:51:13.170
is, you know, instead of running from God when

00:51:13.170 --> 00:51:17.250
you messed up, you ran to Him. And that allowed

00:51:17.250 --> 00:51:21.150
Him to redeem all the mistakes. 100%. What a

00:51:21.150 --> 00:51:24.590
great point. There's no other place to go, really.

00:51:25.170 --> 00:51:28.030
And so what did I do with my accusing God issue?

00:51:28.139 --> 00:51:30.559
Because it's like, how can I trust God? How can

00:51:30.559 --> 00:51:32.519
I follow him? He played this big practical joke.

00:51:33.539 --> 00:51:36.360
I had to do some business with that too. So a

00:51:36.360 --> 00:51:38.420
little bit later in life, I went out on the beach

00:51:38.420 --> 00:51:41.239
and I'm like, God, how? Because at one point

00:51:41.239 --> 00:51:44.039
I was like, after all this, now I'm doing elder

00:51:44.039 --> 00:51:46.920
care and infant care and dance in my life. And

00:51:46.920 --> 00:51:50.619
we did get married about six months later. I'm

00:51:50.619 --> 00:51:54.989
like, how do I know that I can follow you? How

00:51:54.989 --> 00:51:56.670
do I know that I can really hear your voice?

00:51:56.670 --> 00:51:58.690
Yes, you answered those impossible prayers about

00:51:58.690 --> 00:52:02.090
Dan being with me but I also had all this provision

00:52:02.090 --> 00:52:04.829
that I thought was from you and boy that blew

00:52:04.829 --> 00:52:09.230
up and I had a prophet prophesy over me that

00:52:09.230 --> 00:52:13.110
didn't know me from anybody he said you there's

00:52:13.110 --> 00:52:16.329
been a great disappointment in your life and

00:52:16.329 --> 00:52:18.449
God is gonna take care of it and I'm like, can

00:52:18.449 --> 00:52:20.809
you give me some details? He's like that's all

00:52:20.809 --> 00:52:23.139
I got There's a great disappointment in your

00:52:23.139 --> 00:52:25.019
life and God's gonna take that disappointment

00:52:25.019 --> 00:52:28.820
away Just know that's gonna happen. So I was

00:52:28.820 --> 00:52:30.460
out on the beach and I was praying that through

00:52:30.460 --> 00:52:35.719
and I felt like the Lord said Molly I Didn't

00:52:35.719 --> 00:52:38.900
want the things that went on at last days ministries

00:52:38.900 --> 00:52:43.980
to happen either You've been accusing me of leading

00:52:43.980 --> 00:52:47.980
you astray But that wasn't my plan for you and

00:52:47.980 --> 00:52:51.070
that wasn't my plan for the ministry and i saw

00:52:51.070 --> 00:52:56.750
in an instant that i had agreed with the enemy

00:52:56.750 --> 00:53:00.250
who is the accuser of the brother and who accuses

00:53:00.250 --> 00:53:05.730
god and i agreed with that and i was like hit

00:53:05.730 --> 00:53:09.590
in an instant with deep amounts of sorrow and

00:53:09.590 --> 00:53:13.670
i'm like father god forgive me you were as wounded

00:53:13.670 --> 00:53:15.849
as i was you're probably more wounded than i

00:53:15.849 --> 00:53:20.739
when you forgive when you repent of your false

00:53:20.739 --> 00:53:23.960
accusations. So many people are wounded by church

00:53:23.960 --> 00:53:26.679
hurt because they've had leaders that have been

00:53:26.679 --> 00:53:29.139
wolves in sheep's clothing. But what do they

00:53:29.139 --> 00:53:32.619
do instead of instead of saying the wolf is culpable?

00:53:33.199 --> 00:53:36.139
The wolf needs to be corrected. They get all

00:53:36.139 --> 00:53:39.300
offended with God. And then the enemy has you

00:53:39.300 --> 00:53:42.199
right has you right where he wants you to be

00:53:42.199 --> 00:53:46.460
offended at God offended at leadership and Stunted

00:53:46.460 --> 00:53:50.320
in your growth. That's so powerful. Yeah, I mean

00:53:50.320 --> 00:53:54.079
God's plan is always good, but we have he gives

00:53:54.079 --> 00:53:59.039
us free choice free will and He can redeem when

00:53:59.039 --> 00:54:03.059
we let him but he doesn't Dictate every aspect

00:54:03.059 --> 00:54:05.360
of everybody's life. He gives us enough free

00:54:05.360 --> 00:54:08.159
choice that we can really mess it up for ourselves

00:54:08.159 --> 00:54:12.860
and for others and so When you recognize that

00:54:12.860 --> 00:54:15.519
and you repent and you stop accusing God then

00:54:15.519 --> 00:54:19.280
that the flow of the Holy Spirit can be back

00:54:19.280 --> 00:54:22.099
Unhindered in your life and he can redeem it.

00:54:22.099 --> 00:54:26.619
And so I now have a fabulous husband Aaron is

00:54:26.619 --> 00:54:30.199
now 29 years old. She's got a husband of her

00:54:30.199 --> 00:54:33.960
own. We're still waiting for grandkids and and

00:54:33.960 --> 00:54:38.420
I've got three other children beyond her that

00:54:39.160 --> 00:54:43.260
What a gift what a redemptive story and I can

00:54:43.260 --> 00:54:47.559
do pro -life again because It's not it's not

00:54:47.559 --> 00:54:51.380
God's That wasn't God's plan to mess me over.

00:54:51.380 --> 00:54:56.800
That was me believing enemy lies and after taking

00:54:56.800 --> 00:55:00.860
care of my family and After taking care of my

00:55:00.860 --> 00:55:03.239
parents to the point where they passed peacefully

00:55:03.239 --> 00:55:06.000
into heaven I had an amazing encounter with my

00:55:06.000 --> 00:55:09.110
dad right before he died I have to always ask

00:55:09.110 --> 00:55:11.130
him, can I pray for you? He always will like

00:55:11.130 --> 00:55:14.690
grunt and just say basically no. And the last

00:55:14.690 --> 00:55:17.210
time I was with him, I said, dad, I want to pray

00:55:17.210 --> 00:55:19.429
for you. He seemed like he was really like with

00:55:19.429 --> 00:55:23.289
it that day. And he's like, okay. And so I prayed

00:55:23.289 --> 00:55:27.530
for him and he said, that was beautiful. Really?

00:55:27.750 --> 00:55:29.010
You thought that was beautiful? He's like, that

00:55:29.010 --> 00:55:32.730
was beautiful. And he died a couple of days later.

00:55:33.030 --> 00:55:37.460
So that's my hope. So we never give up praying

00:55:37.460 --> 00:55:43.340
for those we love. God can redeem anything. Our

00:55:43.340 --> 00:55:46.500
job is to keep our hearts pure and open. And

00:55:46.500 --> 00:55:49.820
our job is to also know that He is the one that

00:55:49.820 --> 00:55:53.539
does all the work. We just connect to Him. And

00:55:53.539 --> 00:55:55.760
His yoke is easy and His burden is light. And

00:55:55.760 --> 00:55:58.840
it's not hard when you're connected to Him. And

00:55:58.840 --> 00:56:00.920
it's very hard if you're trying to do it yourself.

00:56:01.340 --> 00:56:05.420
So after raising your family, Molly, and really

00:56:05.420 --> 00:56:11.460
caring for your parents, God led you back into

00:56:11.460 --> 00:56:15.239
involvement with life issues in Deeper Still.

00:56:15.340 --> 00:56:18.440
Just share a little bit about how you got into

00:56:18.440 --> 00:56:21.039
Deeper Still and maybe an impact story or two

00:56:21.039 --> 00:56:26.579
of how it's helped some people that you've seen.

00:56:26.960 --> 00:56:29.300
There was a woman in my living room that said,

00:56:30.840 --> 00:56:33.559
you know, just sharing God with people that God

00:56:33.559 --> 00:56:36.119
would send our way, just kind of having a private,

00:56:37.659 --> 00:56:40.119
it's not a ministry, it's just word of mouth,

00:56:40.579 --> 00:56:43.659
inner healing and deliverance to people. And

00:56:43.659 --> 00:56:45.739
there was a woman that came into our living room

00:56:45.739 --> 00:56:47.539
for prayer and she said, I'm going to tell you

00:56:47.539 --> 00:56:50.239
a story that I've not told anybody, not even

00:56:50.239 --> 00:56:54.289
my best friend from kindergarten. 60 years old

00:56:54.289 --> 00:56:56.329
still in touch with her best friend from kindergarten

00:56:56.329 --> 00:56:59.010
But never shared this story and it was about

00:56:59.010 --> 00:57:02.989
an abortion that she had when she was like 20

00:57:02.989 --> 00:57:07.230
21 years old and I knew about deep we prayed

00:57:07.230 --> 00:57:10.750
and we Brought her through really great amounts

00:57:10.750 --> 00:57:12.469
of deliverance to the point where she felt like

00:57:12.469 --> 00:57:14.750
hey I'm I'm healed of this like I think I can

00:57:14.750 --> 00:57:17.670
talk about this now. It's out of the closet I'm

00:57:17.670 --> 00:57:20.050
not feeling this shame and the guilt and because

00:57:20.050 --> 00:57:23.440
she knew she She grasped the fact that Jesus

00:57:23.440 --> 00:57:25.360
heals and forgives and his blood is sufficient

00:57:25.360 --> 00:57:28.920
for everything. So I told her, I said, I know

00:57:28.920 --> 00:57:31.900
about this ministry called Deeper Still. My friend

00:57:31.900 --> 00:57:34.119
Karen, who is the director of a pregnancy center

00:57:34.119 --> 00:57:36.280
back in Virginia Beach, Virginia University,

00:57:36.980 --> 00:57:39.739
started this ministry and it's a healing retreat

00:57:39.739 --> 00:57:43.760
weekend for women and men who've had abortions.

00:57:44.280 --> 00:57:46.079
And she's like, I'm like, they're having a training.

00:57:46.199 --> 00:57:47.880
You want to go? And she's like, yeah, go. And

00:57:47.880 --> 00:57:49.840
I'm like, and I'm thinking. we could start a

00:57:49.840 --> 00:57:51.360
deeper still chapter and we can bring it to floor

00:57:51.360 --> 00:57:53.960
and that would be all exciting. And so anyway,

00:57:54.000 --> 00:57:56.039
she went through the training with me and then

00:57:56.039 --> 00:57:57.719
she decided she was going to go through a retreat,

00:57:57.900 --> 00:58:00.099
which is appropriate because she's still post

00:58:00.099 --> 00:58:01.940
-abortive. She came out of that retreat. It's

00:58:01.940 --> 00:58:03.599
like, I'm free. I'm free. I'm a daughter of the

00:58:03.599 --> 00:58:05.699
king. Before she couldn't tell her best friend

00:58:05.699 --> 00:58:07.800
from kindergarten. Now she's getting up in front

00:58:07.800 --> 00:58:10.420
of our entire church telling her story. So that's

00:58:10.420 --> 00:58:14.769
what freedom looks like. Anyway, I thought we're

00:58:14.769 --> 00:58:17.030
gonna partner up and get a Deeper Still chapter

00:58:17.030 --> 00:58:19.550
going in Florida, but it was not to be. But I

00:58:19.550 --> 00:58:22.670
did pray for others to come along, and eventually

00:58:22.670 --> 00:58:24.809
there was a team that was assembled, and we've

00:58:24.809 --> 00:58:28.409
been now having Deeper Still retreats since 2021.

00:58:28.789 --> 00:58:31.849
We are about ready to have our sixth retreat.

00:58:32.469 --> 00:58:36.809
We've moved to two a year. It's all volunteer.

00:58:37.690 --> 00:58:41.800
It's all precious. We've seen amazing things

00:58:41.800 --> 00:58:43.659
happen. So I can share you a couple of stories

00:58:43.659 --> 00:58:45.900
if you want to know. Yeah, share one or two.

00:58:46.260 --> 00:58:49.460
I want to read you a guy's story. You know, you

00:58:49.460 --> 00:58:51.159
always think, we always think about abortion

00:58:51.159 --> 00:58:53.179
as affecting the woman. Of course it does, but

00:58:53.179 --> 00:58:54.980
it affects these men and these men have nowhere

00:58:54.980 --> 00:58:58.559
to go and grieve. And so the guy's story actually

00:58:58.559 --> 00:59:03.019
starts with a girl's story. There was his wife

00:59:03.019 --> 00:59:05.659
named Barbara had an abortion and she, when she

00:59:05.659 --> 00:59:07.639
was young, they did not have an abortion together.

00:59:07.980 --> 00:59:10.940
This was, Both of them had different partners,

00:59:11.360 --> 00:59:14.099
but she came to our retreat and she said, for

00:59:14.099 --> 00:59:16.699
the first time, I stopped seeing as an abortion

00:59:16.699 --> 00:59:21.019
as a mistake I made, but as a child I lost. Because

00:59:21.019 --> 00:59:25.059
she began to get in touch with the humanity of

00:59:25.059 --> 00:59:28.239
the unborn child when we put a fetal model in

00:59:28.239 --> 00:59:32.269
her hand. This is a 12 week model. You can see

00:59:32.269 --> 00:59:34.650
where people are in the healing process by how

00:59:34.650 --> 00:59:36.869
they respond to this model. Some of them don't

00:59:36.869 --> 00:59:39.230
want to even touch it. Other ones are holding

00:59:39.230 --> 00:59:42.550
it up to their chest and being like, I need to

00:59:42.550 --> 00:59:44.630
know the reality of this. It's a hard truth,

00:59:44.650 --> 00:59:47.980
but if you... You have to know the truth before

00:59:47.980 --> 00:59:49.820
you can be set free. So you have to know what

00:59:49.820 --> 00:59:52.500
you did and admit to it before you can get to

00:59:52.500 --> 00:59:54.400
the place where you can deal with it and find

00:59:54.400 --> 00:59:56.400
relief from the shame and the guilt and the pain.

00:59:56.980 --> 00:59:59.539
So Barbara was there getting relief from the

00:59:59.539 --> 01:00:02.000
shame and the guilt and the pain and getting

01:00:02.000 --> 01:00:06.159
connected to her child that she had aborted and

01:00:06.159 --> 01:00:08.719
really moving into a mama grief process which

01:00:08.719 --> 01:00:11.480
is so healthy and it was so transformative to

01:00:11.480 --> 01:00:13.500
her that she goes home and tells her husband.

01:00:14.119 --> 01:00:17.559
Barbara and her husband Teddy both met at Celebrate

01:00:17.559 --> 01:00:19.559
Recovery, so they had addictions because they

01:00:19.559 --> 01:00:22.159
were using addiction to medicate their abortions.

01:00:22.519 --> 01:00:25.480
Teddy said, I don't need that. That happened

01:00:25.480 --> 01:00:29.420
long ago. I've grown way over that. That was

01:00:29.420 --> 01:00:33.900
decades ago. And this is so, so typical of a

01:00:33.900 --> 01:00:36.940
post -abortive person who wants to keep things

01:00:36.940 --> 01:00:41.079
in denial, because denial hurts less than facing

01:00:41.079 --> 01:00:45.840
the reality of what what healing from an abortion

01:00:45.840 --> 01:00:48.739
would entail. It requires going back and maybe

01:00:48.739 --> 01:00:50.480
looking at some painful things that you've been

01:00:50.480 --> 01:00:52.400
working really hard to forget about, and he had

01:00:52.400 --> 01:00:54.800
been medicating with drugs to try to forget about

01:00:54.800 --> 01:00:57.480
all those things. Anyway, kind of kicking and

01:00:57.480 --> 01:00:59.699
screaming and arm twisted, he came to this retreat,

01:00:59.920 --> 01:01:02.559
and this is his story, and this is in his words.

01:01:02.679 --> 01:01:06.429
I'm reading this from his words. Hello, Deeper

01:01:06.429 --> 01:01:08.670
Still Spring team. I just wanted to share a little

01:01:08.670 --> 01:01:11.510
of my testimony with you all. I come from a broken

01:01:11.510 --> 01:01:13.449
home where fighting and arguing were the norm.

01:01:13.789 --> 01:01:15.929
I got introduced to pornography at a very young

01:01:15.929 --> 01:01:18.010
age and I took my first sip of alcohol at age

01:01:18.010 --> 01:01:20.789
nine. Disappointment and grief were my reality

01:01:20.789 --> 01:01:24.570
and at age 11 my parents got divorced. I experimented

01:01:24.570 --> 01:01:28.010
with drugs and alcohol and fornication. At age

01:01:28.010 --> 01:01:31.269
21 I got my girlfriend pregnant and we decided

01:01:31.269 --> 01:01:34.760
to have an abortion. And that started the downward

01:01:34.760 --> 01:01:38.360
spiral of my life. I was a functioning drug addict

01:01:38.360 --> 01:01:40.579
for many years, and finally my drug addiction

01:01:40.579 --> 01:01:43.719
caught up with me, and I became homeless. And

01:01:43.719 --> 01:01:46.480
I was in and out of jail for 10 years of my life.

01:01:47.280 --> 01:01:50.960
I tried everything to get clean. I went to rehab

01:01:50.960 --> 01:01:54.840
in jail, detox facilities, discipleship programs,

01:01:55.579 --> 01:01:58.199
and several 12 -step programs, and nothing worked.

01:01:58.519 --> 01:02:01.530
It seemed all was lost. Then I was blessed to

01:02:01.530 --> 01:02:04.789
go to a deeper still retreat and there I was

01:02:04.789 --> 01:02:10.590
reconciled with Jesus Christ and my baby and

01:02:10.590 --> 01:02:16.630
then I found real healing. I renounced and the

01:02:16.630 --> 01:02:18.650
renouncing and the breaking of curses off of

01:02:18.650 --> 01:02:21.210
my life as well as going through my life inventory

01:02:21.210 --> 01:02:23.909
made me start feeling the weight of sin just

01:02:23.909 --> 01:02:27.269
drop off of my life and now because of deeper

01:02:27.269 --> 01:02:30.900
still I can walk in true freedom. I am honored

01:02:30.900 --> 01:02:33.880
to be a part of the Deeper Still family. Forever

01:02:33.880 --> 01:02:39.260
grateful, Teddy. He joined the team. The root

01:02:39.260 --> 01:02:44.039
of the need for medication and drug addiction

01:02:44.039 --> 01:02:47.559
and alcoholism and so many of these things, eating

01:02:47.559 --> 01:02:52.539
disorders, guilt and depression, overworking

01:02:52.539 --> 01:02:57.980
alcoholism, the root is trying to numb out the

01:02:57.980 --> 01:03:01.329
abortion experience. because it's so unnatural

01:03:01.329 --> 01:03:06.570
to kill offspring. And we're told this is a quick

01:03:06.570 --> 01:03:09.750
fix. Have the abortion go on with your life.

01:03:09.989 --> 01:03:15.869
There's no fallout. And it's such a lie. And

01:03:15.869 --> 01:03:19.929
one out of every four people in your church has

01:03:19.929 --> 01:03:24.869
had an abortion experience, men and women. Well,

01:03:24.869 --> 01:03:28.840
Molly, God has brought you through such an amazing

01:03:28.840 --> 01:03:31.800
redemptive process. And, you know, I remember

01:03:31.800 --> 01:03:34.480
you mentioning to me when we first talked how

01:03:34.480 --> 01:03:38.440
early in your pro -life advocacy, you just used

01:03:38.440 --> 01:03:40.920
the pro -life tracks as a hammer and you really

01:03:40.920 --> 01:03:47.780
had no idea the agony that the women and the

01:03:47.780 --> 01:03:52.889
men were going through. But God brought you through

01:03:52.889 --> 01:03:54.909
such a process that now you have that compassion

01:03:54.909 --> 01:03:58.510
and really can minister grace and mercy and freedom

01:03:58.510 --> 01:04:02.590
to them. It's a beautiful thing when God brings

01:04:02.590 --> 01:04:06.349
us into healing. You know, sometimes if you see

01:04:06.349 --> 01:04:08.889
people that are full of zeal and just not a lot

01:04:08.889 --> 01:04:12.170
of grace, just please pray for them because they

01:04:12.170 --> 01:04:14.650
might be diamonds in the rough. You know, like

01:04:14.650 --> 01:04:17.010
there are a lot of people that feel like they

01:04:17.010 --> 01:04:24.789
get a sense of truth but that has to be honed

01:04:24.789 --> 01:04:28.590
and tempered by wisdom and grace and compassion

01:04:28.590 --> 01:04:31.809
and so we all really need to be reflective of

01:04:31.809 --> 01:04:35.449
ourselves like God help me my constant prayer

01:04:35.449 --> 01:04:39.190
is God give me your heart for this person God

01:04:39.190 --> 01:04:42.469
help me to see this the way you see it if somebody

01:04:42.469 --> 01:04:46.309
is being irritating on the team father Show me

01:04:46.309 --> 01:04:48.750
what your plan for this person is or show me

01:04:48.750 --> 01:04:50.789
how to fix this situation. We have the wisdom

01:04:50.789 --> 01:04:53.989
of God at our disposal and we have his compassionate

01:04:53.989 --> 01:04:56.969
heart at our disposal and we just have to ask

01:04:56.969 --> 01:04:59.349
him to make our heart his heart and his heart

01:04:59.349 --> 01:05:01.849
our heart. Well, Molly, as we close, would you

01:05:01.849 --> 01:05:04.150
share about a woman of the Bible who's inspired

01:05:04.150 --> 01:05:06.230
or encouraged or taught you something along the

01:05:06.230 --> 01:05:08.949
way? There are two women that came to mind. One

01:05:08.949 --> 01:05:11.550
was the woman of the well and the other was the

01:05:11.550 --> 01:05:14.840
woman caught in adultery. and Jesus had compassionate

01:05:14.840 --> 01:05:19.380
responses to both of these women. The woman at

01:05:19.380 --> 01:05:23.840
the well had been all sorts of promiscuous, and

01:05:23.840 --> 01:05:26.719
he didn't point that out at all. He wasn't trying

01:05:26.719 --> 01:05:30.920
to shame her. If you feel shame, God is never

01:05:30.920 --> 01:05:34.260
the author of that, ever, ever, ever. If anybody

01:05:34.260 --> 01:05:36.920
tries to shame you, they're from the enemy side.

01:05:37.599 --> 01:05:39.760
Jesus doesn't do that a bruise read he won't

01:05:39.760 --> 01:05:42.159
break off in a smoldering work. You won't extinguish.

01:05:42.159 --> 01:05:45.280
He's gentle So he's very gentle with her and

01:05:45.280 --> 01:05:47.420
he says actually you've had five husbands and

01:05:47.420 --> 01:05:50.400
the guy you're with is not your husband and and

01:05:50.400 --> 01:05:55.400
And he read her mail and she was like wow This

01:05:55.400 --> 01:05:57.940
is a guy that really knows, but she must have

01:05:57.940 --> 01:06:01.400
felt degree of acceptance because here she is

01:06:01.400 --> 01:06:04.719
walking a walking pillar of shame and she's willing

01:06:04.719 --> 01:06:07.900
to now go to all her village and say come see

01:06:07.900 --> 01:06:10.239
what this guy has to say he knows my whole life

01:06:10.239 --> 01:06:13.539
and the whole town like here's about Jesus and

01:06:13.539 --> 01:06:16.139
here's about redemption because of her testimony

01:06:16.139 --> 01:06:20.199
so that's a beauty for ash's story and then the

01:06:20.199 --> 01:06:22.619
woman who was caught in the very act of adultery

01:06:22.619 --> 01:06:27.429
does he shame her he shames the people that are

01:06:27.429 --> 01:06:30.329
trying to set Jesus into a trap is who he shames

01:06:30.329 --> 01:06:33.969
he's like okay he is without the sin cast the

01:06:33.969 --> 01:06:37.090
first stone and they all slip away like snakes

01:06:37.090 --> 01:06:40.510
and then there's no one left and he's like where's

01:06:40.510 --> 01:06:43.750
all your accusers i don't condemn you either

01:06:43.750 --> 01:06:48.550
go and sin no more that is the heart of god the

01:06:48.550 --> 01:06:53.010
redemptive compassionate love of god that's what

01:06:53.010 --> 01:06:55.210
we want to bring to everybody that comes to deeper

01:06:55.210 --> 01:07:00.099
still That truth that and they need to stop Not

01:07:00.099 --> 01:07:02.699
forgiving themselves because Jesus already paid

01:07:02.699 --> 01:07:04.719
for their forgiveness on the cross and his blood

01:07:04.719 --> 01:07:07.719
is sufficient The amount of time that we hear

01:07:07.719 --> 01:07:10.639
people say I know I'm forgiven, but I can't forgive

01:07:10.639 --> 01:07:15.400
myself The fallacy of that is you're not accepting

01:07:15.400 --> 01:07:17.840
that the blood of Jesus is stronger than your

01:07:17.840 --> 01:07:22.699
sin So forgive yourself and get over that. Accept

01:07:22.699 --> 01:07:25.659
the blood of Jesus in the same way that we accept

01:07:25.659 --> 01:07:29.719
salvation from him. It's total repentance from

01:07:29.719 --> 01:07:45.099
all sin. Abortion is not a shame exception. Neither

01:07:45.099 --> 01:07:48.840
height nor depth nor anything else in all creation

01:07:48.840 --> 01:07:52.619
will be able to separate us from the love of

01:07:52.619 --> 01:07:55.739
God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord. Nothing

01:07:55.739 --> 01:07:59.860
can separate you from God. It's God's love. Nothing

01:07:59.860 --> 01:08:03.239
you have done negates his love for you. Your

01:08:03.239 --> 01:08:06.820
actions, they may require repentance, but it

01:08:06.820 --> 01:08:10.889
does not change his deep abiding love. If you,

01:08:10.989 --> 01:08:12.809
dear listener, struggle with emotional wounds

01:08:12.809 --> 01:08:15.909
from abortion or any other decision you've made

01:08:15.909 --> 01:08:19.510
or been a part of, know that God sees you. He

01:08:19.510 --> 01:08:23.210
loves you. He can heal you when you turn to Him

01:08:23.210 --> 01:08:26.369
and follow Him. Don't run from Him, but like

01:08:26.369 --> 01:08:30.289
Molly, run to Him. Allow Him to bring redemption

01:08:30.289 --> 01:08:33.090
in your situation. Molly, would you take a moment

01:08:33.090 --> 01:08:35.689
and pray for our listeners? Father God, I pray

01:08:35.689 --> 01:08:38.229
for all those out there that are struggling.

01:08:38.800 --> 01:08:41.399
with an abortion in their past, Father God, and

01:08:41.399 --> 01:08:43.640
they're wracked with guilt and shame and pain

01:08:43.640 --> 01:08:48.060
and regret. We pray, Father God, that you would

01:08:48.060 --> 01:08:52.119
lift their heads up to see you and that they

01:08:52.119 --> 01:08:55.220
would take that shame and pain and lay it at

01:08:55.220 --> 01:08:58.539
your feet. And Lord God, that they would know

01:08:58.539 --> 01:09:02.420
that you've already purchased the redemption

01:09:02.420 --> 01:09:06.039
of that, of their baby. Their baby's not mad

01:09:06.039 --> 01:09:09.840
at them. their baby or babies are with you in

01:09:09.840 --> 01:09:14.119
heaven. You are caring for those children. And

01:09:14.119 --> 01:09:18.680
Father God, may they feel the reality of your

01:09:18.680 --> 01:09:22.659
forgiving work on the cross. And may they accept

01:09:22.659 --> 01:09:25.779
it as much as they've accepted your salvation.

01:09:25.920 --> 01:09:29.960
May they now accept that you bore their shame.

01:09:30.359 --> 01:09:34.319
You carried their pain. You became sin that they

01:09:34.319 --> 01:09:38.510
may be free. May they receive that in the full,

01:09:39.149 --> 01:10:03.779
in Jesus' name. Amen. to comfort you in your

01:10:03.779 --> 01:10:07.140
grief and bestow a crown of beauty on you instead

01:10:07.140 --> 01:10:11.939
of ashes, to give you the oil of joy instead

01:10:11.939 --> 01:10:15.100
of mourning and a garment of praise instead of

01:10:15.100 --> 01:10:18.600
a spirit of despair. May you be called an oak

01:10:18.600 --> 01:10:21.840
of righteousness, a planting of the Lord for

01:10:21.840 --> 01:10:26.039
the display of His splendor. Thank you for tuning

01:10:26.039 --> 01:10:29.239
in. Check out the show notes at HerGodStory .org

01:10:29.239 --> 01:10:31.439
for scriptures and other information we talked

01:10:31.439 --> 01:10:34.640
about. If you're interested, you'll find a link

01:10:34.640 --> 01:10:37.920
to Deeper Still website so you can find the closest

01:10:37.920 --> 01:10:40.819
chapter. You can also download a free six -week

01:10:40.819 --> 01:10:43.279
devotional on Women of the Bible and consider

01:10:43.279 --> 01:10:45.680
joining our company of women by supporting widows

01:10:45.680 --> 01:10:48.500
and orphans. We'd also love to pray with you

01:10:48.500 --> 01:10:51.119
on our 24 -7 prayer and text line, so give us

01:10:51.119 --> 01:10:58.060
a call or text anytime at 855. or email us at

01:10:58.060 --> 01:11:01.319
prayer at somebodycares .org. God bless you.

01:11:01.520 --> 01:11:03.800
Her God Story is a ministry of Somebody Cares

01:11:03.800 --> 01:11:06.680
America and International. To find out more about

01:11:06.680 --> 01:11:09.100
or support the ministry, go to somebodycares

01:11:09.100 --> 01:11:09.760
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