Released to Hope Again, Sheryl Giesbrecht Turner’s Story

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Welcome, friends. You are listening to the Her God Story podcast, where you will always

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hear a good story to encourage and inspire you in your walk with the Lord. I'm so glad

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you joined in. I'm your host, Jodie Chiricosta, ministry leader at Somebody Cares America

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and international author and traveler on this journey with Jesus. Hey, have you gotten your

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free six week devotional on Women of the Bible yet? If not, simply go to hergodstory.org

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where you can get a free download. We are confident that God will use it to minister

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to you in so many ways. Then let us know how God spoke to you or suggest other women of

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the Bible you'd like to explore by emailing us at hergodstory at somebodycares.org. We

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just might include them in a future devotional. All of us, bar none, go through trials and

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difficulties as we walk this earthly road. What we do in the midst of them, where we

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turn for help, dramatically affects our future. Do we turn to God? Do we trust him? When we're

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in pain, physically, emotionally, mentally, that can be so difficult. But in Isaiah 43

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verses one through five, the Lord assures us, do not fear, for I have redeemed you.

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I have summoned you by name. You are mine. When you pass through the waters, I will be

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with you. When you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you. When you walk

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through the fire, you will not be burned. The flames will not set you ablaze, for I

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am the Lord your God, the Holy One of Israel, your Savior. My guest, Cheryl Giesbricht

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Turner, has gone through some trials in this life and she has found God's word to be true.

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She's come to realize what the famous 19th century theologian and pastor Charles Spurgeon

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said is also true, that all our infirmities, whatever they are, are just opportunities

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for God to display his gracious work in us. Cheryl serves as founder and president of

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her nonprofit, From Beauty to Ashes, Inc. She's on field staff with Discipleship and

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Training Ministry, Freedom in Christ, and is an award-winning author of five books,

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including her latest, Unraveling the Lionheart, Finding Freedom from the Tangles of Discouragement,

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Deception and Depression. She has served as a focus on the family columnist and written

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hundreds of columns, magazine and devotional articles for various Christian publications.

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Cheryl holds a bachelor of arts from Biola University, a master's in counseling, and

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a doctor of divinity. I don't know where she gets the time to do all of it, but she

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lives in California where she also enjoys running 5K races with her 92-year-old mother.

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The joys of her life are her husband, children, and 14 grandchildren. Welcome, Cheryl.

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Hi, Jodi. Thanks for having me on today. Cheryl, growing up, your family moved a whole lot,

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which had a great impact on you. Tell us about those early years and what that led you into.

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It was just so hard. I'm the type of person that I really like to kind of know what I'm

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doing, where I am every day. And so when my dad was promoted in his job, it meant that

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we were moved around quite a bit. Every place was a new neighborhood adjustment, a new church,

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a new school, a new group of kids, a group of friends, neighborhood. It was hard for

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me to just get settled in every time we moved around. And so that really led me to ways

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of coping. I didn't really know how to handle the... I think it's stressful for a kid to

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move around a lot. And when your family really isn't unified by anything, everybody's busy

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doing their own thing in different directions, it was difficult for me. The last place that

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my parents moved, I was 12. And I remember thinking, I'm going to try and do whatever

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I can do to be able to fit in, to get into the popular group. And so I started drinking

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alcohol, smoking cigarettes, taking street drugs. By the time I was 13, I was fully addicted.

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And it was just shocking because before all of that happened, nine months prior, my mom

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had had another baby. And that was like, oh, I was 13 and mom had a baby. Are you kidding

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me? I felt alone. I was busy. They were all really busy and I felt like I wasn't heard.

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Four years later, I just had given my parents so many trials and I was arrested many times

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before gone. They didn't know where I was often for many, many nights and running with

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the fast crowd. But actually I was so deceived. I kept thinking it matters what these people

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believe or what they think about me. And I didn't really understand that God loved me

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and kept his eye on me the whole time.

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Yeah. Well, you really were on a path to destruction, but something changed. How and what?

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I think my parents probably decided that they needed a good night's sleep because they sent

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me away from home for the summer. And I was 17. It was the summer before my senior year

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of high school. My dad was on the board of a Christian camp and he pulled some strings

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to get me a summer quote unquote job there. It was really something that I was thinking

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would be a way that I could prove myself. I would make money and get a car by the end

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of the summer. But the Lord had another plan because at the camp, I took all my coping

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mechanisms, my drugs, my cigarettes, my bad attitudes. Even the way I looked was really

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a standoffish type of a thing. Lots of dark hair, fingernails, clothes, everything was

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just like you said, the path of destruction. But the people at the camp knew, they knew

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what they were getting into and they welcomed it. In fact, I was pretty much assigned to

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the camp director's wife on the first day. I was in the dining hall with her and she

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said, okay, Cheryl, we're going to do the dishes. And I was like, like you're telling

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me how to do the dishes. And I basically said something really snarky and said, like, yeah,

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are you kidding me? I'm the oldest of four kids. I don't need to know, learn or lean

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need lessons on how to do the dishes. And I looked up at those dishes and it was like

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hallucinations, 200 dishes. They were piled high. And I said, I'm not doing this. And

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I cussed her out and I walked out the door. And as those dining hall doors swung behind

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me, I remember her saying this phrase that was something that I didn't forget, but I

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also heard the next several days into the first two weeks, it was, love covers the multitude

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of sins. I didn't know until later on that that was first Peter four eight. And so what

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they chose to do, each one of the camp counselors, but also the staff members and the wives of

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the people that work there, I felt like, oh, these people are on drugs, you know, they're

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all in Kahoot! Because they were all saying this phrase to me. And I realized that it

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was really from the heart of God, that it was God's love that was encouraging me to

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trust him, that his love could cover all of the things that I couldn't forgive myself

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for. I didn't know how I'd been in recovery. I'd been in rehab. I had a probation officer.

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It had a court counselor. It had all these people trying to help me, but I hadn't turned

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to the only savior that I needed. And so by the end of that two weeks, it was amazing

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that the Lord met me. I was alone in my cabin and I realized that it was Jesus that needed

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to forgive my multitude of sins.

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And when you went back home, your parents saw a dramatic change.

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Oh yeah, they knew. They actually knew before I came, but they were welcoming me home and

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I was not expected to graduate with my senior class. And my teachers helped me to catch

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up. I'd cut so much school the years prior, two years prior to that. I wasn't expected

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to graduate, praise the Lord that they all joined my team and helped me to get my work

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done. And thankfully I was able to walk through that graduation class. And my parents really

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cheered me on too. And so I just have this hunger and thirst for the Bible. I was real

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involved. I got involved in our church, in our college students at our church was a big

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deal because it's a university town and they were always looking for people to mentor.

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So I asked for a mentor and I was mentored by this woman who really helped me to learn

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the word. And that really gave me a great foundation.

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Yeah, that is so important. I mean, we hear, you know, as we are praying for revival, we

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hear that God is going to do a mighty harvest, maybe even similar or greater than the Jesus

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movement, you know, and the Jesus people. But as people are saved, they really need someone

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to come alongside them and help them get established in the word like you were. That is so important.

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And after high school, you went on to college and you met your future husband there. So

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share about that season. It was interesting, but it also was really

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the best time for me because God was restoring me. As you know, spiritually, I just have

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this insatiable hunger and thirst for God's word. So I went up to Multnomah School, the

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Bible for a year. The theme of that school is if it's Bible, you want, you want Multnomah.

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But then the Lord kept stirring in my heart to go on and possibly entertain or figure

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out what he wanted. So I went down to Biola University and at that time they had a camping

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major. And if you want to think of it in terms of what that would be applied to for ministry,

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you might want to say it's Christian Ed programming. So basically what they did was they helped

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us be exposed to every, every aspect of the camping industry, Christian camping industry

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specifically. But it was during those years at Biola University in La Mirada, California,

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that God continued to heal me and also helped me to be open to other areas of ministry.

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And that's what we were required to have a Christian service. My first several years,

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I was a mentor for a young lady who was going through elementary and then junior high. And

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then my senior year, I decided, you know, I think I'll change to campus life Youth

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for Christ. And that's where I met my first husband. He was the area director for Orange

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County Youth for Christ. We met through the group that they were hosting at one of the

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high schools we met and just had so much fun. And we ended up mentoring high school students,

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I would mentor the girls and he'd mentor the boys. So we continued doing that. And then

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it was just the Lord put us together. We were great friends. But we also just really thought,

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you know, this is something that God has for us for our future together.

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So you got married and married life, of course, is an adjustment for everyone. But those first

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five years for you were extremely difficult. Why was it so hard? I mean, you had you had

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since the Lord called you together. Yeah. So why was it so hard? And how did you get

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through it?

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Well, thank you for asking that. I think this can relate to a lot of people. So we ended

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up staying in Orange County for a couple of years. But then one of our parents, his dad

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was diagnosed with stage four and actually terminal cancer. And so Paul said, I really

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think we need to move to where I live so that I can help my mom with my dad. So we moved

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up to his hometown and I'd been through here. In fact, we had a lot of friends here, but

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I never expected that we would actually move here because I I wasn't from here. And I've

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been I've lived a lot of places I've traveled quite a bit before I married him. So when

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we moved here, it was difficult because not only it was our whole support system of our

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friends, our college, our church down in Orange County, and then moving up here, just starting

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over with a new town. I didn't know the streets. I didn't know the stores to shop in. You know,

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we had to start over with the church. And I had still not dealt with some of the secrets

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that I didn't know I had. I was dealing with a lot of trauma. I also discovered that my

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husband's past his different types of addictions were coming to surface. So those began to

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be something that we would talk about. And he would, you know, I didn't realize that

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my depression would be something that would overtake me to the point that I had moved

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here. So it was very foggy in January and back down in Orange County. It was always

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sunny usually even for maybe even not all the time, but most of the time we had the

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beach nearby and the mountains nearby. Well, here there was concrete and fog. And that

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added to my depression. I had to face the time of not wanting to get up, not wanting

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to be functional. I mean, I couldn't function. And he would say things like, well, why don't

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you figure out what's wrong with you? And anyone who has been in recovery knows that,

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hey, if we knew what was wrong with us, we would definitely figure it out because we

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don't want to remain in our pain. Right. So we did continue on until we had to face

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what happened. One day he took me to a Christian counselor. And I remember that day. It was

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a difficult time because I had a real trust issue with men. And the counselor that we

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ended up going to was a man. But this guy was so wise and so godly. And really the Holy

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Spirit led our sessions. It was just the Lord's timing that I could finally open that Pandora's

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box that was toxic. Really, it got worse before it got better. And that usually is how it

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goes. But I didn't know that either. So there were a lot of things that I learned. But let

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me just encourage those of you who might be going through that. I really think that when

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the Lord takes us to a place where we have to start dealing or start being honest with

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ourselves, He meets us. He meets us right where we are. And He's there even though it

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doesn't feel like it. You feel kind of numb. You feel like, well, where is God in the midst

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of this? But He wants us to continue to trust Him and to remember that greater is He that

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is in us than He that's in the world. And that God is able to take all of that guilt,

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shame, blame, and unworthiness away from us. And I was so stuck in my condemnation that

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I didn't realize that had gotten me down. I believed that the Lord could forgive everybody

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else but myself. And Romans 8.1 says, there is now no condemnation for those that are

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in Christ Jesus. And that's such an important verse to learn. The other one that I quoted

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is Romans 8.31. And I really believe those two passages are key to anyone struggling

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with depression or even shame or unmerited guilt. You think, well, God can't forgive

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me or I'm grieving the Holy Spirit because of blah, blah, blah. That's just not true.

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And that's a lie that the enemy wants us to be snagged up in, tangled up in, if you will,

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because if we know what God's Word tells us, then we will believe God and we will be able

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to understand that that mindset that we have is deception. It's a lie from the enemy.

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You kind of share a lot of your testimony and how you got through that in your latest

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book that I mentioned at the beginning. So, you know, if there's a listener out there

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who's dealing with some of those issues, I encourage you, highly encourage you to get

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her book, Unraveling the Lie Not, and go through it prayerfully and you can receive that deliverance.

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Because you came out of that depression, didn't you, Cheryl? And you were able to start enjoying

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life, something that you hadn't done in a long time. God began opening doors of ministry

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for you too. So, share a little bit about that.

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I was working with high school students and just encouraging the girls and started sharing

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different devotionals in small groups. And then it ended up, people kept asking me, you

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know, why don't you talk more in front of women's groups? And I always thought, you

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know, because I was married to a pastor, he was the one to be the speaker. And I would

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always be the preparation person or the hostess of wherever we were, bringing the food, making

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sure our kids got there in a presentable fashion. So, but I started getting invitations to speak

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and ask the Lord to help me share my story. And really, Paul helped me a lot because I

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kept saying, you know, you make it look so easy. And he said, well, that, you know, requires

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a lot of study and a lot of preparation. So, those are the things that I learned from him.

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And you all were beginning to look at even future study because doors had been opening

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of ministry for you. So, you all decided to, both of you together, receive, go for more

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study in school, postgraduate degree, postgraduate work. And the day you found out you were accepted

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into a postgraduate program, you are also diagnosed with cancer, which enrolled you

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in a totally different school. That's quite a journey. So, share what you went through

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and what God taught you in the midst of it. Well, we actually decided to do the post-grad

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work because the school, and Paul was really the one to decide to do that. And then the

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school that we went to offered a two-for-one program. And so, that's the reason why I went

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because I didn't have to pay anything. And I actually bought books. That was it. But

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thankfully we did because, yeah, the day that we got the diagnosis was, it was so strange.

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I remember where we were because we'd just been out to visit the campus of the school

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and we got word that we were accepted. And I remember thinking, okay, we have a choice

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here. Again, many of you are at Crossroads and you've been at Crossroads before and you

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think, I wish I could know what's the right way to go. At the time, I thought, if I can

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just support him. And even though I knew I had a battle ahead of me, I knew that our

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ministry life would change. I'd already decided, because I knew that this was coming. I just

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didn't know how bad it would be or what the diagnosis, what the treatment was going to

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be because I'd been going through the staging process. That's how they find out how much

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cancer you have and what they're going to do about you. I'd been going through that

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for two months. So, I'd already been canceling all my ministry things, small groups and stuff

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that I was running. I thanked God for the opportunity to be involved with this school,

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this new group of Christians. It was so cool because they were all different people than

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we knew from our church. And it really gave me the hope and encouragement that the body

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of Christ isn't just one church. I loved that we met so many people and some of them,

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I still, even they see me and they say, oh, remember when we were at Summit, we were there

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together. And I'm so thankful, Cheryl, that you let God use your story for his glory.

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Tell us a little bit about what you actually experienced in that cancer journey. I mean,

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there are so many people that do experience it and it's not a fun journey. I mean, you

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have to deal with doubt and fear and other people taking care of you, which for a caretaker,

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someone who, a mom who's used to taking care of everyone else, it can be an uncomfortable

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feeling even there. So how did you get through that and what did God teach you out of it?

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Well, I found a lump underneath my left eye. We both were talking about how our area that

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we live in has allergies and that's with this valley. And I do have allergies. I found a

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lump and from that, within the staging process, it was very, very scary because there was

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no cancer in my family. When I went to the ER, the ophthalmologist gave me the results

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and the results showed cancer. The oncologist did more scans. And when I was diagnosed with

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stage four non-Hodgkin's lymphoma, I remember that day too, when the oncologist put my x-rays

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up on the screen, I really couldn't believe they were mine because he said, look, Cheryl,

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you have, you know, there's cancer underneath your left eye lid because there was a lymph

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there. It was stage four non-Hodgkin's lymphoma, which is a type of blood cancer. If you're

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familiar with leukemia, it's in that same family. But he also said, look, there's, it's in the

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bone marrow of your right arm, your shoulder, your elbow, and the femur of your left leg.

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And I was, I was so shocked. Both Paul and I were. And yet it was almost like that reality.

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You know, you just take a deep breath. It's kind of a, oh no, me. And then you just said,

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okay, I'm going to just keep on going and preparing for what I have to do next. So the

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hard part was all the tests and the, the not knowing beforehand. And I did some really

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dumb things. I went online to find out what, you know, prognosis would be, and it didn't

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look very good. It was like 63% of the people with stage four non-Hodgkin's lymphoma don't

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make it. And so I just saw myself in the side of healing. I decided to kind of have a view

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of what God would do and trust him. And I really had a great moment with the Lord when

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I was taking a PET scan, which is an inside the MRI tube. If you're familiar with that,

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it's a non, it's a radioactive dye treatment where they actually inject this dye into your

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arm and they find out where the cancer is. And that's where the doctor told me there

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were, it was in five places in my body. But what happened was I was so afraid of all that

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was going to happen. I, even though I didn't know it was more like the unknown was hard

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for me, but during that PET scan, I was told not to move my lips or my even pray or sing

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out loud during this test. And I thought that's impossible because I'm a real talker and I

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always pray out loud or I'm singing or praising the Lord or whatever. But the Lord had shared

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with me that morning as I was studying the armor of God, I was studying the helmet of

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salvation, which is Psalm 27 one that says the Lord is my light and my life and my salvation.

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I have nothing to fear. And so that just helped me to relax. And even though the tube was

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really cold and I was laying on a metal sheet thing, a gurney, I ended up falling asleep

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in that because I was so overtaken by God's peace. And I believe that can be true for

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every situation when we invite God in. And I was really at that time in the waiting room

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of not knowing what was ahead of us. And so when we decided to do the, to take our upper

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degree, upper graduate degrees, it was like the Lord kept giving me hope of peace as I

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kept going forward. He just basically was only I didn't have to run ahead of him. He

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was one step already ahead of me. And so during the during the time that, you know, after

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I got the diagnosis within two weeks, I was prepped for a port of cath and the treatment

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that was prescribed to me was a cutting edge trial. And so my doctor really recommended

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it and I said, okay, let's do it. And after nine months of chemo, my husband was my caregiver

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and I kept choosing God's way. Even the days that I felt horrible, which there were many

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with the side effects, there were everything that that they tell you that they are. And

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even worse, you cannot be prepared for how your, your prednisone that I had to take on

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Thursday after my treatment was over, how your prednisone would keep you up. And some

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of the worst things happen during the night when your brain, your mind is working overload,

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you're exhausted, you're in pain, but you're also not able to sleep because even if you

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sleep for 10 minutes, that's at least a relief where you won't have to, you know, be faced

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with the pain of it all. But I learned, I learned to focus on the names of God. And

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so along with the coursework and the people that encouraged me came over, I mean, talk

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about the body of Christ as an army of warriors for us. It was so amazing that people I didn't

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even know wanted to come over, clean my house, take care of my, my yard, bring me food. And

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it was, it was just a blessing to think back now. And that's really the Jesus with skin

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on through the body of Christ being able to enter into our situation. And that's what

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happened is they entered in to our situation. They didn't think, okay, you have cancer,

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I'm afraid to come close to you because I might catch it. No, that doesn't happen. But

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I think what happens when people do enter in is they become more compassionate. And

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I learned now from them how I can enter in and be more compassionate with people. And

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that, that's really what Jesus wants us to do, to think about to enter in by getting

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into their shoes and into their business, even though sometimes it's not real comfortable.

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It's ugly. One time I was so discouraged and I hadn't slept. And I really thought, well,

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if I'm going to, you know, stage four cancer, the internet says, you're, you know, chances

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of survival are really slim. And I thought, well, if I'm going to die anyway, I might

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as well end it all. I had a friend who came over and just talked truth to me. She said,

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you know, Cheryl, this is not what you really want to do. And I don't think I would follow

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have followed through, but it was wonderful that somebody entered into my mess. I felt

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like I had to clean up my act before she came over. No, she was like, I'm coming right now,

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you know, and I, and she, she was there within five minutes. So praise the Lord for people

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like that. And getting into our business, that's not pretty. Who wants to get messy with somebody

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else, but we have to, don't we? Well, you know, all of the truths, the, the, the focusing

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on the names of God, that the holding onto truth, even when all your circumstances looked

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bleak, you really needed that a few years later when tragedy struck again, very unexpectedly.

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What happened?

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Well, five years after I got through the cancer and praise God, God did heal me of stage four

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non-Hodgkin's lymphoma. It's been 20 years now. Can you believe that? And it's just amazing

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that the Lord would continue to sustain me. So, but I, I do a lot of local and international

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speaking in this certain day in October of 2009. I'd gone up to speak for a church at

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a local camp. This day I'd just driven up there in my car in the morning. And my first

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husband, pastor Paul Giesbrecht was an avid motorcycle rider. And, and I just suggested

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to him, Hey, why don't you come up after the retreats over, why don't you come up and visit

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me? And he always loved the winding roads because this is outside of our community.

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So he came up and after the retreat was over, we had gotten done a little bit early. The

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retreat was done and Paul was there and we were walking around this amazing camp for

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a couple of hours. So we were planning, we were dreaming as a couple and we were empty

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nesters thinking about things that we wanted to do, even maybe possibly using that campsite.

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We were really excited about it and we were going to dinner. So after two hours of walking

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around and praying and dreaming, he got on his motorcycle. I got in my car and he pulled

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out around my car. And as I was heading down the road, he had gone out of my sight for

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about five minutes and I went around the same quarter that he had just gone around. And

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I saw nothing in front of me and I thought that's weird. Paul should have been right

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down the road from me. I should have been able to see him. And I turned to the left

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thinking I saw something out of the corner of my eye and I turned and I saw his motorcycle

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had gone out and it was on its side. And I thought, but where's Paul? And I looked and

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I saw him face down on the other side of a barbed wire fence. And I did see that his

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back was still heaving up and down. So I ran to him. Of course, I was like, what happened?

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He did not respond and I didn't know it at the time, but he was already knocked out and

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it was very hard. It was awful because I had no cell phone service and there was really

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no traffic up there. I ran to a cabin nearby, pounded on the door. There was nobody home.

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And so I told him, I don't know if he was coherent or not, but I told him I'm going

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to try and go get help. So I just stood at the side of the road and waited till I could

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flag down some cars. It ended up that the people that came along pulled over to help

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us. They called the EMTs and they arrived about an hour later, but they told me that

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his injuries were so traumatic that he needed to be airlifted to a trauma center. They had

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put him on a gurney. They had tricked him. They had put some other things to, some splints

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to help his broken arms, his legs to be stabilized. But when the helicopter came, and this was

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another half an hour later, so basically it was about an hour and a half since the accident

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happened, and the emergency helicopter came and they told me that I couldn't go in the

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helicopter with him, that it would be too heavy, and that they were going to airlift

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him to a trauma center. So I had to drive down the road a little bit before I got cell

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phone service because the other thing they told me was that they couldn't tell me which

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hospital he was going to be going to. So now you can see that what I'm sharing with you

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is very, I can say historical. It's like I'm telling it about somebody else because this

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whole thing was major trauma. I spent years helping, well, let me just say unpacking it

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because it seems like a bad dream. It seems like a movie that I never wanted to be in.

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And so as I went down the road, I waited for the helicopter operator to call me and tell

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me which hospital I would go to, or they were taking Paul to because that's where I would

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go. So I ended up driving two hours to Antelope Valley Hospital, and on the way there, I kept

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thinking through things that I'd just spoken to the women at the retreat and the, you know,

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the scripture, Jeremiah 29, 11, and 12, which says, God will give you a future and a hope.

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I didn't know how that was going to end up for us. I kept thinking about, if Paul does

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survive, that it will be a very, very long recovery because he had multiple traumatic

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injuries. Some of those I knew about because the EMTs had told me, but others I knew I

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didn't know. So I go to the ER and I'm after two hours. On the way there, I'm calling our

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family telling them what happened. Our kids don't live in town, so they were, you know,

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waiting to hear the results when we got to the hospital. As I go to the hospital, the

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first thing that I do is go to the receptionist, and she's like, I said, is Pastor Paul Giesbrecht

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here? And he said, she said, yeah. And she acted kind of strange. And I knew at that

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moment the bad news, the worst thing that could have happened, that had happened. And

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she said, ma'am, I'm going to have you go over and talk to a couple of doctors about

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this because we can't take you to him right away. So, so you guys know when you go into

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the ER, they put you in these, these areas that have a hole with drapes. It's not, it's

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not a place that's very private, but that's where they put us and or put me until the

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doctors came in and they told me that the devastating news that Paul didn't make it.

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They said, ma'am, Paul didn't make it. He had a heart attack in the helicopter. We used

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the paddles on him and he did not survive. He couldn't be revived. And I fell to the

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floor. I was screaming. No, I think everybody in that ER at least heard me, if not the whole

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hospital, because I just was just a maniac and I fell to the floor and I was just heaving,

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crying, sobbing, doubled over until I got my senses and I said, I got to see him. I've

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got to get him home. Take me to him. So I went to him and sat there with him. Of course,

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I thought if I could get him out of this situation, everything would be fine. And I kept asking

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for them to help to let me take him home and they wouldn't let me. They said the coroner

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is coming to pick him up and that, I mean, every time I asked them that, I think it,

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I realized it started to sink in that, that he had been promoted to heaven. He was now

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with Jesus. And I knew all those scriptures that you all know, to be absent with the body

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is present with the Lord, from the body is present with the Lord. But here it is, Paul,

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I wanted him here. He was only 52. And for him to die in this way was really my worst

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nightmare. He had been in so many other situations. I mean, he'd traveled in Kosovo, walked over

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landmines. He'd been in Africa around villagers that were known to be cannibalistic. I mean,

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he, he had faced death in so many ways. And for this to happen in this way, it was, and

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there was no other cars, no other animals. We don't know. We still don't know what happened.

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You can see that my situation is not unlike some of yours, because when you have something

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that you've depended on someone and for whatever reason they're removed from your life. For

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me, it was my husband, Pastor Paul Giesbrecht, my college sweetheart of 28 years, we'd been

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into each other's lives for 30. For whatever reason, God removed him from my life. And

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I had been praying a prayer that I learned through a conference. And it was this prayer,

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Dear Lord, please protect my family from anything except what gives you glory. And I had been

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praying that prayer. And that came to my mind too, even Jeremiah 29, future and a hope.

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I thought, what kind of a hope, what kind of a future am I going to have as a widow?

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I don't want this. I don't want this for my family. I don't want this for my ministry

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for, you know, how am I going to support myself? How am I going to function? We were such a

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team, it was like we're so enmeshed in everything we did. And I think, Oh, my word, how is this

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going to happen? How am I going to be able to navigate this? So I noted fight our family

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by phone. I already told them that, you know, when I was waiting for the EMTs to tell me

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where to which hospital to go, I'd already called them to tell them that accident had

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happened. And now I had to call them back and tell them that he didn't make it. And

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that was just horrible. But again, I kept saying to myself, Lord, protect my family

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from anything except what gives you glory.

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You had, as you said, been married for 28 years. He'd stuck with you through depression.

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He cared for you through cancer, got in the midst of that trauma. God was speaking to

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you. But in the aftermath, you had to, as you said, unmesh, deal with all of that. How

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did you get through the trauma of finding him, the grief of losing him?

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Paul died on a Saturday. And the next day, one of my friends came over with several books

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and his name is Dr. H. Norman Wright. He's a grief counselor. He's also with the Lord

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now just recently. But he gave me these little booklets called experiencing grief. And he

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said, Cheryl, when you're ready, you'll want to read these. Well, during the time, I was

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kind of mad about the whole thing. I thought, who wants to read a book when you just can't

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even see your vision's blurry because you're so stressed and grieving and traumatized from

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all of it. But the week in between the service and his Paul's passing was the time that I

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was planning his services. And there were many nights that I couldn't sleep. And so

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I grabbed one of the little booklets. You can read it within an hour. It's called experiencing

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grief by H. Norman Wright. The other thing that I did was I decided to go to grief share.

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And I left myself some outs with that because I thought to myself, if I don't want to go

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or if I go and I can't handle it, I'm going to let myself get up and leave. Basically,

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I had to do that for myself because I really didn't know how I would be. But God gave

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me the opportunity to be in the right grief share group at the right time. I think one

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of the things I've learned from Dr. David Jeremiah, I read a book by him that was called

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a bend in the road. He had stage four, not not Hodgkin's lymphoma twice. And he says

401
00:39:53,520 --> 00:39:59,920
a real great phrase that you're going to want to write down. It's called do the next thing.

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00:39:59,920 --> 00:40:06,080
And so that's what I decided I would do during the grieving process was do the next thing

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00:40:06,080 --> 00:40:11,480
within the grief share. There's lots of great scriptures. There's lots of wonderful testimonies,

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00:40:11,480 --> 00:40:16,320
but there's also people that you'll want to learn from. And one of those are Dave and

405
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Nancy Guthrie. They wrote a book, the the Book of Hope. And in that devotional, it's

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a 90 day devotional. But there were lots of scriptures. And one of them was Isaiah fifty

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seven one and two. And it says the righteous perish and no one takes it to heart. The devout

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are taken away. No one understands that the righteous are taken away to be spared from

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evil. Those who walk uprightly enter into peace and they find rest as they lie in death.

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00:40:47,520 --> 00:40:54,360
And so that gave me a lot of encouragement because I realized that God gave Paul a gift

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that his work was completed. He went out at the top of his game. He had been traveling.

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00:41:00,520 --> 00:41:06,840
I was telling you, Jody, about how he was in Africa two and three months at a time.

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He was training international leaders and they looked to him for for many things, but

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they also learned what about discipleship from him. And so I knew that God was going

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to continue Paul's work through other people. But to me, it just did not make sense. So

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00:41:26,520 --> 00:41:33,800
that's what I went to Norm Wright, who was my grief counselor and my PTSD counselor for

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18 months. He helped me unpack my grief and the trauma of the day, but also to decide

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00:41:45,000 --> 00:41:51,320
to leave my baggage at the feet of Jesus, because that's what counselors help us do.

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When we don't think we have the strength to lift those heavy burdens and lay them where

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they need to go. We're never designed to carry around grief or anguish or stress or even

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00:42:05,320 --> 00:42:11,560
guilt or shame or blame and unworthiness, unforgiveness, bitterness, anger. We are not

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00:42:11,560 --> 00:42:18,280
designed to carry those things. We are told in God's word to trust God, to roll those

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things onto his able shoulders. And that's the hard part, is leaving it there. So you

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00:42:23,720 --> 00:42:30,120
can do it once. You know, if you're in a Bible study, you're supposed to know that in this

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00:42:30,120 --> 00:42:35,720
world you will have tribulation. But to remind ourselves that be of good cheer. This is John

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00:42:35,720 --> 00:42:41,960
16 33, be of good cheer for I have overcome the world. And the overcoming is really what

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this is all about, is keeping it at the feet of Jesus, telling yourself, I'm not going

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00:42:46,520 --> 00:42:51,320
to pick that up again. And basically you can talk truth to yourself. You know, like I can't

429
00:42:51,320 --> 00:42:58,040
carry that. I even do this to myself. I say, what am I doing? Why am I? I mean, talking

430
00:42:58,040 --> 00:43:02,600
to yourself, it's not a bad thing. Sometimes people think, well, people are going to think

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00:43:02,600 --> 00:43:07,640
I'm crazy. No, they won't. Just talk truth to yourself. It's the same thing as if you're

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00:43:07,640 --> 00:43:13,320
organizing your day. Maybe you are a list maker. But what it is, is it's like having a meeting

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00:43:13,320 --> 00:43:18,200
with yourself. There are so many people in the Bible that did that all the time. King

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00:43:18,200 --> 00:43:23,800
David, he had a meeting with himself. He said, why so downcast, oh, my soul? What is going

435
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on within me? And that's Psalm 42. You know, you say to yourself, you know, why are, why

436
00:43:30,200 --> 00:43:35,720
am I feeling depressed today? Why am I looking down at my circumstances? What happens when

437
00:43:35,720 --> 00:43:41,320
we look down at our circumstances? We're not looking up for God's solutions. And that's

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00:43:41,320 --> 00:43:45,560
the key is telling ourselves, you know what? Down here is not where I'm going to find my

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solution. It's, it's in his presence. Amen. So you eventually got through that. I mean,

440
00:43:51,240 --> 00:43:55,240
it was a process. It wasn't immediate. It was a few years, but God brought you back

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00:43:55,240 --> 00:44:01,160
into a pleasant land, into a pleasant place, a place of blessing. Share a little about

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00:44:01,160 --> 00:44:07,880
that and how you and Jim, your now husband, came to marry. Well, that was so interesting

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00:44:07,880 --> 00:44:12,600
because I had not planned to get remarried. I was busy in my ministries. By then I had

444
00:44:12,600 --> 00:44:18,920
two jobs. I had started working with the international leaders that Paul had been working for. And

445
00:44:18,920 --> 00:44:23,880
then I also worked for a local Christian music radio station. I was really busy. Lots of

446
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ministry, but also just supplying my needs, my just, just my needs, not a lot of ones

447
00:44:29,720 --> 00:44:36,440
there. And so I really didn't think that I wanted or needed a husband, but God was showing

448
00:44:36,440 --> 00:44:46,040
me as I began to heal that God was blessing me with a gift. And as I kept saying to him,

449
00:44:46,040 --> 00:44:52,840
you know what? I was married for 28 years. I really don't know if I want to start over

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00:44:52,840 --> 00:44:58,520
again. And I also thought to myself, you know, I trained up one man. Why would I want to

451
00:44:58,520 --> 00:45:04,760
start over and try and train up another one? Well, the Lord kept offering this amazing

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00:45:05,640 --> 00:45:13,000
opportunity to me because my first husband and I had been going to this chiropractor

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since my son was five and my daughter was eight. And they're now in their late thirties and

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forties. So we've known this man, our doctor for a long time, and he also attended our

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00:45:24,120 --> 00:45:30,840
second ministry church. So we knew him, but his first wife had lost her five year battle

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00:45:30,840 --> 00:45:38,120
with breast cancer. And so after Peggy had died, I was still going into see Dr. Turner

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00:45:38,120 --> 00:45:42,840
as a patient, getting my chiropractic adjustments. One of the things that happened during my

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00:45:42,840 --> 00:45:48,520
addiction was I was in a motorcycle accident, hit a brick wall with my face. And so I have

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00:45:48,520 --> 00:45:55,800
chronic neck injuries. So another way that God's helped me survive, but because of my

460
00:45:55,800 --> 00:46:03,240
neck injuries, I needed to go through maintenance treatments. So when Jim and I started becoming

461
00:46:03,240 --> 00:46:11,240
better friends, we just kept talking about our spouses. Jim knew Paul, Jim knew my kids.

462
00:46:11,240 --> 00:46:18,440
I knew his kids. I knew Peggy. It was interesting because you know how it is you think,

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00:46:18,440 --> 00:46:25,400
oh, I didn't think for me, it was like, I didn't know if he was really my type. And then I thought,

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well, what does God want? And so God kept showing me that as my heart was healing,

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00:46:31,240 --> 00:46:41,800
I was beginning to say yes and be more open to being remarried, but also to accept Jim

466
00:46:42,360 --> 00:46:49,800
as a gift, a gift from God. And it really has been a blessing that it was almost like I was

467
00:46:49,800 --> 00:46:55,640
refusing to even go there because I was afraid of being hurt. Also, I told him on our first date,

468
00:46:55,880 --> 00:47:00,040
I'm really not the marrying kind because I don't want to bury anybody again.

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00:47:00,040 --> 00:47:05,480
And that's just unrealistic because my expectations were, it's too hard. It was

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00:47:05,480 --> 00:47:10,600
horrible burying a husband. And I thought, if I get remarried, then I'm going to have to bury

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another one. But then I thought to myself, even if that happens, which all of us are going to die

472
00:47:16,040 --> 00:47:23,480
sometime, but God will help me to be able to go through it as he's been faithful to enable me to

473
00:47:23,480 --> 00:47:31,000
to enable me to go through it again. I just thank God for the opportunity to love again,

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00:47:32,040 --> 00:47:39,400
because it really has helped me see that the Lord is the one who restores. The Lord is the one who

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rebuilds. And our marriage, we both talk about it a lot. Our marriage is so different than our first

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00:47:45,880 --> 00:47:53,400
marriages. It's a different marriage, but it's in some ways a better marriage because he was married

477
00:47:53,400 --> 00:48:00,760
for 32 years. I was married for 28. So combine all of those years with what we've done. In fact,

478
00:48:00,760 --> 00:48:06,440
we just celebrated our 10th wedding anniversary. And so we are so grateful that the Lord would

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bless us. And again, you know, Jeremiah 29, 11 and 12 is, is here for those of us that need to

480
00:48:14,040 --> 00:48:20,280
hear it one more time. For I know the plans I have for you declares the Lord plans to prosper you and

481
00:48:20,280 --> 00:48:29,240
not to harm you plans to give you a hope and a future. And the restoration is coming. I mean,

482
00:48:29,240 --> 00:48:36,520
it's it's better than it's been before, but so thankful that the Lord has blessed us because I

483
00:48:36,520 --> 00:48:43,240
almost missed it. I kept overthinking it and over over examining it. And there's a phrase that you've

484
00:48:43,240 --> 00:48:49,400
probably heard before. It's called the paralysis of analysis. And so that's where I was I was

485
00:48:49,400 --> 00:48:54,760
thinking, you know, well, if I do this and that, then you know, I was trying to look, look at it

486
00:48:54,760 --> 00:49:02,600
from all sides. But I was also looking for peace. I was thanking God for the opportunity to trust him

487
00:49:02,600 --> 00:49:07,480
in the midst of a decision, a decision like that. I was afraid of making the wrong decision. So I

488
00:49:07,480 --> 00:49:13,880
was unwilling to make any decision at all. But then once I said, yes, it was so confirmed over

489
00:49:13,880 --> 00:49:19,880
and over by the Lord in so many ways. And now we feel like we have an Ephesians three twenty life,

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00:49:19,880 --> 00:49:26,120
which is just exceedingly and abundantly beyond anything we would ask or think or, you know,

491
00:49:26,120 --> 00:49:31,160
we would never ask God to bless us in this way. But we're so grateful that that's what he's done.

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00:49:31,160 --> 00:49:35,080
Yeah, the goodness of God. He's you've seen the goodness of God in the land of the living.

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00:49:36,040 --> 00:49:41,000
So Cheryl, God's used you and your story to help thousands of people all over the world through

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00:49:41,000 --> 00:49:46,840
your writings, your books, helping people break free from their past. What was your very first

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00:49:46,840 --> 00:49:51,640
book and how did you realize God wanted you to start writing? That's a big step for someone,

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00:49:51,640 --> 00:49:57,240
you know, kind of a daunting thing to write a book. Yeah. And then how does he use those?

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00:49:57,240 --> 00:50:03,800
How does he use your books? Thank you for asking, live. So my first book was kind of out of a need

498
00:50:03,800 --> 00:50:10,360
because I was a radio personality and I did short features. My short feature was called Tendred

499
00:50:10,360 --> 00:50:15,800
Moments with Cheryl Giesbrecht. And those were only one minute. And people, our listeners kept

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00:50:15,800 --> 00:50:21,240
asking me, could you send me this devotional that you did? Could you send me this one? Could you do

501
00:50:21,240 --> 00:50:26,120
this? Well, I ended up thinking, you know, I'm going to just put all of them in a book. And so

502
00:50:26,120 --> 00:50:31,320
that one was kindred moments with Cheryl Giesbrecht. It was put together in a prayer journal,

503
00:50:31,320 --> 00:50:37,960
which Paul and I actually ran at our printer. So that was very self-published. The second book was

504
00:50:37,960 --> 00:50:45,320
Get Back Up, Trusting God When Life Knocks You Down. And that was after Paul died, I knew that

505
00:50:45,320 --> 00:50:51,080
I had to get it in writing. And it was basically out of, you know, need. I knew that probably people

506
00:50:51,080 --> 00:50:57,320
were going to be asking me how they could work through their grief, their trauma. When life knocks

507
00:50:57,320 --> 00:51:01,880
you down, what do you need to do? You need to choose to get back up, put one step and one foot

508
00:51:01,880 --> 00:51:07,480
in front of the other and let God lead you forward with his steps and you follow in his steps. That's

509
00:51:07,480 --> 00:51:14,520
it. Yeah. So Cheryl, as we close, would you share about a woman of the Bible whose story has inspired,

510
00:51:14,520 --> 00:51:22,200
encouraged or taught you something? There's so many. Ray have the God who sees she knew God because

511
00:51:22,200 --> 00:51:29,480
she had to run away from a mistress who was just abusive. But I think in the New Testament, I'd

512
00:51:29,480 --> 00:51:37,400
like to land on Mary, one of the sisters of Lazarus, because when Mary and Martha had asked Jesus

513
00:51:37,400 --> 00:51:42,680
to come and heal their brother and Jesus didn't come right away, they were so mad. They were like,

514
00:51:42,680 --> 00:51:48,600
Lord, how could you be late? How could you, Terry? And I feel like that's been me for so long that

515
00:51:48,600 --> 00:51:53,880
like I'm so anxious about, you know, what Lord are you doing? What's the matter? Why are you doing

516
00:51:53,880 --> 00:52:01,960
it this way? Basically, I want to be an advisory role with God, right? But then, but then when Jesus

517
00:52:02,680 --> 00:52:12,040
said to Lazarus, and this is in John 11, when Jesus said to Lazarus, Lazarus come forth and remember

518
00:52:12,040 --> 00:52:17,960
Jesus didn't have to take off his grave clothes. They just fell off, but Lazarus needed help and

519
00:52:17,960 --> 00:52:26,200
wrapping. Lazarus needed help. And I'm imagining that Mary and Martha knew their brother had been

520
00:52:26,200 --> 00:52:33,640
resurrected, but they were there to unwrap their brother, unravel their brother and be there, be

521
00:52:33,640 --> 00:52:41,880
witnesses of what God did through the resurrection of their brother. And then Mary, she was one of the

522
00:52:41,880 --> 00:52:49,640
ones who was at the grave when Jesus was resurrected. She was one of the ones to find to be able to say

523
00:52:49,640 --> 00:52:56,360
what happened. So I love that, you know, I want to be one of the people like that, who is able to

524
00:52:56,360 --> 00:53:02,360
tell the story of God's glory and just say to people, you don't know what God can do. I do.

525
00:53:02,360 --> 00:53:06,920
I'm going to tell you all about it. And do you have a minute? No, do you have a couple hours?

526
00:53:06,920 --> 00:53:15,640
Because that's really, it's just amazing to me how God uses different women and how he loves women.

527
00:53:15,640 --> 00:53:22,360
He loves to use our stories, but also to give us the privilege of helping someone else to

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realize that they've been resurrected. Amen. As I think about your story, Cheryl,

529
00:53:28,200 --> 00:53:34,840
verses in Philippians 3, 10 through 14 come to mind. The New Living Translation reads,

530
00:53:34,840 --> 00:53:39,800
I want to know Christ and experience the mighty power that raised him from the dead. Just like

531
00:53:39,800 --> 00:53:45,320
you said there, I want to suffer with him sharing in his death so that in one way or another,

532
00:53:45,320 --> 00:53:49,960
I will experience the resurrection from the dead. I don't mean to say that I already achieved these

533
00:53:49,960 --> 00:53:55,880
things or that I have already reached perfection, but I press on to possess that perfection for

534
00:53:56,600 --> 00:54:01,400
which Christ Jesus first possessed me. No, dear brothers and sisters, I have not achieved it,

535
00:54:01,400 --> 00:54:07,000
but I focus on this one thing, forgetting the past and looking forward to what lies ahead.

536
00:54:07,960 --> 00:54:13,160
I press on to reach the end of the race and receive the heavenly prize for which God through

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00:54:13,160 --> 00:54:18,520
Christ Jesus is calling us. You know, dear friends, when we set our face on Jesus and the

538
00:54:18,520 --> 00:54:25,160
joy of eternity that awaits us, his grace will carry us through every situation as he's done for

539
00:54:25,160 --> 00:54:32,040
Cheryl and so many others. Cheryl, would you take a moment and pray for our listeners?

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00:54:32,040 --> 00:54:37,960
Dear heavenly father, we thank you that you want us to come to you. And so today, father,

541
00:54:37,960 --> 00:54:44,600
we thank you for the opportunity to share our story. And it really is about your glory. And

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00:54:44,600 --> 00:54:50,920
thank you, Lord, that you give us words to pray in your word, Lord, that really it's your prayer book.

543
00:54:50,920 --> 00:54:56,280
You want us to pray your words back to you. So thank you, Lord, that you are our refuge,

544
00:54:56,280 --> 00:55:02,760
our fortress, our God, and it is you that we can put our total trust. That's Psalm 91 verses one

545
00:55:02,760 --> 00:55:09,480
and two. And father, we thank you that you want us to put our hope in you and you want us to praise

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00:55:09,480 --> 00:55:16,200
you. And often we don't feel like praising you. So help us, Lord, to think of something that you

547
00:55:16,200 --> 00:55:24,440
have done for us in the past so that we can be reminded of your faithfulness, your stability,

548
00:55:25,000 --> 00:55:31,320
your ability, and that you are able to keep us close to your heart, to keep us

549
00:55:31,960 --> 00:55:36,760
right where you want us to be. Father, thank you for the ways that you continue to give us

550
00:55:37,320 --> 00:55:42,120
everything that we need in Christ Jesus. I pray for those that are downcast today,

551
00:55:42,120 --> 00:55:50,440
father, those that are needing encouragement, that you would help them, Lord, as you tell us to just

552
00:55:51,400 --> 00:56:00,760
go to you. And Psalm 42 verses five and 11, why, my soul, are you so downcast? Why so disturbed

553
00:56:00,760 --> 00:56:07,240
within me? Put your hope in God, and yet I will praise him, my Savior and my God. And father,

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00:56:07,240 --> 00:56:13,720
help them to find at least one thing to thank you for. We are thankful for this opportunity,

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00:56:13,720 --> 00:56:21,560
for Jodi, for the group here that is just sharing your glory over all the world. Thank you for the

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00:56:21,560 --> 00:56:27,880
many people that will be encouraged and influenced through their projects. And we pray a blessing

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over them as they continue to go forth in these days, Lord. I pray for everything that they need

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00:56:34,600 --> 00:56:43,000
financially, as well as unity within their staff, their ward, their groups. Thank you, father, that

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00:56:43,000 --> 00:56:49,160
we can forget the past and look forward to what lies ahead and press on to reach the end of the

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race and receive the prize. In Jesus' name we pray. Amen. Amen. If you have not heard, the Somebody

561
00:56:57,560 --> 00:57:02,200
Cares Widow and Orphan Fund was developed to help widows as well as unaccompanied children with

562
00:57:02,200 --> 00:57:08,120
special needs. James 1-27 tells us that pure and undefiled religion in the sight of God the Father

563
00:57:08,120 --> 00:57:13,720
means caring for orphans and widows in their distress and refusing to let the world corrupt you.

564
00:57:13,720 --> 00:57:19,080
You can do that in part by joining the growing company of others who give to the Widow and Orphan

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00:57:19,080 --> 00:57:24,280
Fund. Together we can be a tangible expression of God's love to those with special needs. If you

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00:57:24,280 --> 00:57:29,160
haven't joined us yet, would you consider giving a special gift to help? Just go to hergodstory.org

567
00:57:29,160 --> 00:57:33,800
and click on the Widow and Orphan tab at the top of the page. Thank you for tuning in. Check out

568
00:57:33,800 --> 00:57:38,680
the show notes at hergodstory.org for scriptures and other information we talked about. And remember

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to get your free six-week devotional on Women of the Bible there or purchase the 12-week devotional

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on Women of the Bible for just $12 knowing that all the proceeds go to support our Widow and Orphan

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Fund. We'd also love to pray with you on our 24-7 prayer and text line. So give us a call or text

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anytime at 855-459-CARE or email us at prayer at somebodycares.org. And now dear friends,

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I leave you with a blessing adapted from Matthew 11 28 and 29. May the Lord give you rest from your

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heavy burden. May you find that His yoke is easy. May you come to know Him who is humble and gentle

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at heart so you can find rest for your soul. Her God Story is a ministry of Somebody Cares America

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and international. To find out more about or support the ministry go to somebodycares.org.

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