"Mentoring, Community & Having the Right Voice in your Life" S1 Ep16

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It has been said that mentoring is a mutual relationship with an intentional agenda designed

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to convey specific content along with life wisdom from one individual to another.

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Mentorship is a basic Biblical principle.

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The Book of Proverbs opens with an exhortation to listen to the words of the wise.

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There's a make or break factor in this that makes darkness nervous.

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In this episode of Keep It 100, we open up the conversation on mentoring community and

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having the right voices in your life.

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Be tuned till the end for the life-changing principles on accountability.

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Everybody, greeting to all the Keep It 100 tribe.

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Welcome to Keep It 100 with Sean and Christa Smith.

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Hey, everybody.

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We are so excited you're here.

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Do we have an episode for you?

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We believe that the content and conversation of this show could be a game changer.

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Oh, I tell you what.

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I am so excited about this topic.

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Before we dive into that, I want to talk about what happened last weekend.

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Sean and I were local here in the Vacaville area.

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We live in the Bay.

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It's about 45 minutes from us.

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We're at this incredible church and I did the women's conference on Friday and Saturday

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and then Sean followed up and did the Sunday service.

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And I tell you what, the power of God broke out in the place.

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We saw salvation.

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We saw deliverance.

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We saw breakthrough.

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It really was truly incredible.

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And I don't know about you, but Sunday service was like off the charts.

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It was what?

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Three and a half hours?

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It was three and a half hours long.

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And Kali, when you have a service that goes over three and a half hours, let me just say

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to the rest of the United States, it was a move of God.

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It truly was.

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I mean, we saw such a hunger.

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We released service and since service was over, the people stayed.

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I mean, people just wanted because when the presence of God is in the room, people will

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stay.

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So I want to encourage our listeners.

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I don't know where you're at in your state.

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I don't know if you've been able to gather in person or not, but I want to encourage

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you as Sean and I begin to gather where states have allowed it.

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We are seeing unprecedented amount of hunger and desire for God and the church is going

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after the bride.

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I want to speak some encouragement to the Keep It One Head of the Tribe.

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God is doing something.

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And get ready because revival is coming to America.

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Amen.

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I agree with that 100%.

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I love that.

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Today, we're talking about this topic of what we're calling mentoring, community, and having

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the right voices speak into your life.

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We think this is such an important topic because we know this really affects really the development

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of who we are and also walking out the fullness of who God designed us to be.

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You know, we were watching just last night, right?

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30 for 30, which some of you have not watched.

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VPN does these mini documentaries.

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They've done one on Michael Jordan, Bruce Lee, but they had one on superstar generational

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player, Michael Vick, which many people might know he was a quarterback, but he ends up

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going to prison for dog fighting.

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And as we're watching this thing and it ended very awesome, it was just really a redemptive

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story of this young man in his twenties that literally some mountain and achieve things

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that no other person really had.

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Two things jumped out at me.

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Number one, when he was young before he goes to prison, he is offered the opportunity to

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be mentored by coach Tony Dungey, who's a strong believer, hall of fame coach, just

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kind of a motivational man of God.

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But Michael Vick initially declines it, says he really doesn't have time for that.

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And without that mentorship in his life, he makes bad decisions.

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He goes to prison.

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And then once he's in prison, he asked for coach Dungey, the initial coach that he turned

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down his mentorship.

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He now asked for that mentorship and that ends up giving him a second chance in NFL.

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And of course, Mike Vick turns out great.

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And Mike Vick, new point news, new point news.

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He's ghost.

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But the second thing that jumped out to me was the company he initially kept with some

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childhood buddies that just weren't good dudes in general.

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They were the ones running the dog kennels.

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They were the ones that were organizing the dog fighting and had drugs around his compound

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when Michael Vick wasn't even there.

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Michael Vick was back in Atlanta.

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And then it was interesting that once he got out of prison and now he's wanting to make

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right decisions, he distanced himself from these wrong voices in his life when he got

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a second chance.

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And as a result of that, you could see that all the self professed bad decisions and association

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took place in his twenties.

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And then when he gets a second chance, you begin to realize he gets a mentor.

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He gets the right voices.

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He gets good community.

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And in fact, they even shown speaking at a church and you begin to see there's the reason

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why this guy finished well.

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It's so true.

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Watching the Michael Vick story was really powerful because it really is a display of

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who you surround yourself with really affects your destiny.

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And Michael Vick really was connected to some people that were making super unwise decisions

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and their unwise decisions, although he wasn't physically present at what was going on, their

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decisions affected his destiny.

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They affected his life.

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He ended up going to prison like Sean said for almost two years.

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And we really saw him make a comeback, but it's because he changed the voices in his

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life.

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And friends, that's what we're talking about today because so many of us and maybe some

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of you as listeners, we really lack from spiritually mature relationships in our life.

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And so many times we surround ourselves with people that are like us and they have, they

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don't have the gray hairs on their head.

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They don't have the wisdom.

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They haven't lived the life.

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Everyone around us kind of, you know, is similar.

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And although I get, we enjoy people that are similar to us.

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There's really a benefit of people that have different life experiences, deeper maturity.

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They really are a vantage point for you to learn from and mature from.

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And I believe that when Mike Vick brought Tony Dungey back into his life for the first

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time and allowed him to be a voice of counsel, it literally shifted his destiny because Tony

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Dungey was the one that advocated for him to go to the NFL and helped him reentry his

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career, which was unprecedented at that time.

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No one had done that.

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Gone from prison, gone back and had a super successful career.

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That was incredible.

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And so again, it was that voice of mentorship.

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It was that voice of accountability that was calling Mike Vick higher that I believe

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is the power of accountability, the power of mentorship and really the power of community.

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And so many times when we don't have that voice in our life, it can result in poor decisions

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and also poor relationships.

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We don't have anyone modeling to us what healthy relationships do in our life and mentor relationships,

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model health.

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You know, statistics back this book, according to LifeWay research, 45% of unchurch young

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adults identify the opportunity to receive advice from older people with similar life

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experiences as very important.

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Wow.

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And then 68% of church young people say advice from older people with similar life experiences

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are very important.

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So 45% of the unsaved or unchurch, 68% of the church.

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So the conclusion is the younger generation desires mentorship with more experienced

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people, more experienced Christians, obviously for those of us in the church world.

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This is so important because it's a generation crying out that I want mentorship.

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And you know, the reality is every single one of us need a mentor, every single one

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of us need community, every single one of us need those voices speaking into our life.

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Whether you are the CEO of a Fortune 500, whether you are entry level, beginning your

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journey, you need someone speaking into your life because we all know at the end of the

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day, we're all pretty impressionable people.

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And we all like to think that we're independent, we're free thinking who make up our own mind.

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But the reality is all of us are heavily influenced by the company that we keep.

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You know, we also have to be very selective as to whose advice we embrace.

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I love what you say, Kristin, not everybody should have room at your table.

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Your table is your inner circle.

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That's right.

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And I want to give you a core philosophy to not be advised by anyone who isn't advised

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by the word of God.

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Come on.

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Now I'm talking about deep life speaking into my life.

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Of course, I'll take advice from people in areas of expertise.

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I'm watching YouTube tutorials or different technological things I don't understand.

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But in terms of speaking in the direction and purpose and identity of my life, I am

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not going to be advised by anyone who isn't advised by the word of God because God isn't

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obligated to bless someone else's opinion.

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And if he isn't blessing their opinion, let me tell you what, you're really finding out

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and instead of getting a bless, you're getting a mess.

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Oh, that is so good.

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I should know about that because all right, keep it 100.

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Here's a keep it 100 for real moment.

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I had a criminal record at nine years of age.

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Many of you that listened to our podcast know that my dad was murdered when I was nine years

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of age and I developed at that particular time a real offense towards those who are

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in authority.

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And at the same time, I came across a group of some guys that lived next door to me.

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I still remember them.

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Stephen, Hercules, and Edgar.

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And Edgar was probably a year and a half older than me.

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His brothers were like five or six years older than me.

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They kind of introduced me in the hood, West Oakland, y'all, to a life of crime.

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So first we hit up Tony's liquors.

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I kind of steal maybe a little payday bar, a little Snickers bar, little M&Ms.

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And then we moved from there to Safeways.

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I was sticking popsicle down my pants and I was kind of getting good at robbery.

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I'm like, hey, dude, maybe eventually I could get me a car this way.

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I was feeling pretty good when you feel like you get that adrenaline, you're getting away

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with it.

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And then I made the mistake.

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I went to a, they used to call them kind of variety stores.

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They were kind of like Target.

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And so I went to it.

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It was actually Payless, but back in the day, Payless, today is Payless shoes.

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Then Payless was like Target.

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And so I had this janky bike and it was a Fixie and I thought, I don't want anyone to steal

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my bike.

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So I'm going to steal a lot.

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So I had a shirt in.

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This was my plan.

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I had this kind of flannel like shirt.

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I was going to drop my shirt over the lock, pick up my shirt and lock together and act

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like I'm still looking at stuff and walk out the store.

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And I got me a brand new lock for my janky old bike.

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The only problem was I didn't know they had closed surveillance cameras.

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So when I walk out of the store, this man and the woman, they're not dressed in security

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or plain clothes.

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They grabbed me by each arm and I look at them and I goes, sir, ma'am, I'm not your

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kid, which was kind of funny because of their race at my race.

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They grabbed my shirt and they shook out the lock.

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And all of a sudden I immediately started crying for two reasons.

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One, I knew I was caught.

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And two, I knew my grandmother was going to beat me down.

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They called the police.

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I begged them not to.

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And the police initially tried to call my grandmother and she didn't answer.

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My mom couldn't be reached at the time.

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So they took me down to juvenile hall, put me in a cell.

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It smelled like urine.

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I remember it.

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But I remember when they put me in a car, two older black ladies looked at me and you

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imagine seeing a nine year old kid in the back seat of a car and they just shook their

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heads.

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I remember just that sense because I think growing up, I was just a little more concerned

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about the community and older people and what they thought.

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And as I reflect over that period of life, by the way, that record was sealed when I

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was 18 because I learned my lesson.

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I learned my lesson in terms of the crowd I keep.

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I learned my lesson in terms of the voices that speak in my life.

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And the good news is from that point on, if guys was doing drugs, if guys were stealing,

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I didn't allow them in my inner circle.

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You may be in the hood.

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I may not at you.

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We may play a little ball in the park, but you are not going to be in my inner circle.

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And so I learned my lesson about the voices, about community, and even about mentoring.

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I tell you what, you are such an incredible picture of really allowing voices in your

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life to become the man who you are today because you didn't have those role models growing

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up.

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There was quite the opposite.

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And what I love is the man who you are today is such a man of integrity and you mentor so

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many people.

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And in a sense, giving them the next generation what you didn't have.

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And I think that's incredible.

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You know, the reality is so many people are hindered from having authentic mentoring relationships.

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And I really think one of the main things that hinders people is a desire to stay comfortable

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for their comfort zone.

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And they want to avoid conflict.

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Conflict is scary to people, but the reality is authentic Christianity.

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It's, you know, it's a lot of things, but easy isn't one of those things.

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The path of least resistance is not the path to your purpose, friends.

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We live in a society that's obsessed with convenience, self gratification, pleasures,

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things being instant, but we all know relationships take time.

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You have to be intentional and available to grow them.

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Mentor relationships are not your buddy, buddy, chill relationships.

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They are relationships that are going to have growing pains.

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They're going to be uncomfortable, but I'm not looking for a buddy when I have someone

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speaking in my life.

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I'm looking for someone to call me higher, but so many of us want that quick, comfortable,

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no conflict.

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And then, friend, the reality is you don't want a mentor, you actually want a fan.

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That's so good.

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Oh my goodness.

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That's powerful.

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The second hindrance from authentic mentoring is that we live in a culture of unlimited

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options.

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You ever pull up to Jack in a box, like I don't eat fast food, right?

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I don't, at least I don't eat that fast food.

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You can get option fatigue looking at their menu on the thing because it, or you go eat

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a cheesecake factory, they throw you that phone book that's got all them options.

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It's too much.

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And it's so thick.

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Yeah.

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We live in a world where we're inundated with choices, endless avenues to entertain us,

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satisfy our senses.

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And I think with that, it comes with a mindset that really has caused a consumer Christianity

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that all of a sudden far too many believers have an opt out.

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So it's like, if I don't like what they're saying here, I'll listen to this podcast.

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I'll listen, I'll go to that blog.

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I don't like that blog.

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So now I'll read this book.

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I'll listen to this teacher.

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I won't go to this church.

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I go to that church.

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And the Bible talks about those that heap up teachers according to their own itching

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ears.

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And you compile that with the fact that we have this rise in spiritual ambiguities.

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It used to be things were more black and white.

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And now people are fighting to try to make more and more gray area.

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I think in some instances that we've stretched the teaching of grace, we've twisted it so

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much we've given it a hernia.

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And so it's like, we got to get back to the point of you may have a culture of unlimited

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options, but if you want to grow, you have no other option, but to get some authentic

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mentoring in your life.

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That's so good.

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And that's what made me to point three.

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The third hindrance from authentic mentoring is what I call the pendulum reaction to legalism

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or abuse.

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Now it's true.

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Some people have been exposed to extreme legalistic teaching.

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That means where people have not just told you what the word has to say, but they've

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thrown in their own opinion in terms of what you can or cannot do.

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And they've taught it as, as it's the Lord's and it really isn't.

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And then all of a sudden some people come out of those churches hurt, upset or wounded.

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And then they begin to misinterpret discipline coming from spiritual leaders as legalism

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or control when in fact it isn't.

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And now you got things like hashtag church hurt movement.

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And the bottom line is, is you have to trust people in your journey.

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You won't call to do this thing alone.

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And if you just have a pendulum reaction and fight against discipline, you have to understand

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the Bible says that to those whom the Lord loves, they call that he calls them sons and

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daughters.

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He disciplines.

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Discipline is going to be a key to you walking in the fullness of your destiny.

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As one teacher says, we want to arrive at the grave empty, meaning that we fulfilled

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our purpose and did what God called us to do.

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You know, I was reading this article to Christa in the leadership journal by Lewis McBurney.

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And he said, there are four reasons why people reject essentially what we're talking about.

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And he says, those four reasons is I fear rejection.

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I feel embarrassed.

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I resent control by hostile people, which is kind of the point we're talking about.

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And four, I don't like facing my negative feelings, which is what you were talking about

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just in point one.

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It's so good.

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What you're saying is so rich because really, if we grab ahold of these, these are the things

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that hinder so many people from having mentoring relationships.

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If they can recognize these and overcome them and allow people to speak in their life, like

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we said at the beginning of this episode, these are game changers.

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I believe some people have been hindered because believers haven't caught the vision of passing

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the download of wisdom and life experience.

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And I'm really talking about maybe the older generation at this moment, although I want

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to hit multiple ages in just a minute.

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But you know, for older people, this maybe wasn't modeled to them.

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There was very much a culture in the older generation.

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And again, I'm not a part of that generation, but I've observed it come carry my bags, do

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stuff for me, you know, kind of be my gopher, but there's no intimacy.

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There's no personal relationship.

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There's no dialogue of being able to take off the mask and be like, Hey, this is what

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I'm facing in my life.

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Can you speak to this?

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Can you give me some counsel for this?

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There wasn't an unpacking of your personal life with the people that you served.

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It was very much like I serve you, but there was no innocence pouring out and they viewed

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just being in their mere presence was them mentoring you.

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And that's not mentorship.

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Mentorship isn't someone carrying my bags.

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Mentorship isn't someone picking me up from the airport and dropping me off to make things

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convenient for me.

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Mentorship goes both ways.

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You have to get ready to receive it, but I believe all of us are called to also pour

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out.

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And like I said, this is not, I just spoke about the older people, but this is not just

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an age thing.

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I think there's also a lot of younger leaders that are getting released finally, they feel

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like they're so excited to finally be released.

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I saw this, you know, throughout my life and not for me personally, I've actually, I can

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say before the Lord, I've actually really always been excited to release people, but

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I saw other leaders that were younger, that were getting released, that struggled seeing

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people raised up around them because they didn't even feel like they were fully released.

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So it was really hard for them to see other people released when they didn't even feel

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like what was in them had been fully tapped into or unlocked.

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But I believe if you have that mentality that you believe other people can't be released

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until the fullness of you, that's a scarcity mentality and scarcity is not in the kingdom

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of God.

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We live in the kingdom of God that has abundance.

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So if you have a scarcity mentality, which means there's not enough, there's not enough

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to go around.

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But the reality is if you have a kingdom mentality, all of us are called to make disciples and

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help people live out the kingdom of God and everything about our life should be pointing

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people to Jesus, discipling people and raising people up and recognize if people surpass us,

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great.

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That means we have shoved people deeper into God and let their lives inspire you to go

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deeper.

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That mentorship is actually about raising people beyond your limitations, but into the

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fullness of who they are in Christ.

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I love that.

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That is so profound right there.

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I really absolutely just wholeheartedly believe that and I've seen that and I believe things

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are changing.

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So I'm so glad you talked to that.

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The fifth thing that hinders people from authentic mentoring is wanting the cheerleading without

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the coaching.

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I've had different people come to me and say, Sean, I'd love for you to mentor.

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I love for you to mentor.

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And some of them I've begun to embark upon that and I began to realize what you really

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are saying is you want cheerleading without the coaching.

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You want to aim in corner without an Omi challenge.

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And I just feel like I see where there are people that they love the candy compliments,

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but they don't want the constructive criticisms or corrections.

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And let me just say to you, if you're not allowing someone to move beyond cheerleading,

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then you don't really have a mentor.

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You just have exactly that.

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You got a yes man.

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And what you need is you don't need a yes man.

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You need a God man or a God woman giving you advice that comes from the word of God.

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And I think about what many people have in their life is that you take Luke Skywalker.

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Everybody knows the whole Star Wars.

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I mean, it's been in so many generations now that thing has more miles on it than a Grey

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Helm bus, right?

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But Luke Skywalker has C-3PO that kind of translated for him.

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That was his bumbling buddy, but he would have never reached his potential without a

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Yoda.

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It was a Yoda in his life or Obi-Wan Kenobi that helped teach him how to grow.

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So you got to understand, you can't just have C-3PO's in your life that are just making

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you laugh and causing you to feel good about your chill life.

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You need to get some Yodas in your life to get you trying to balance the ship while you're

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upside down and rocks on your head.

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It's not just the cute little baby Yoda on the new Mandalorian.

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The old school Yoda, that dude was like, there is no why, only dude.

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And so I'm telling you, you need to get a Yoda in your life.

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I love that.

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I think a biblical example of this, Christa, is the king and first kings chapter 12.

401
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His name is Ray Abarney.

402
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That's so good.

403
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He was a son and he was given an opportunity to become king.

404
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And so the first thing he does, okay, so you just took office.

405
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Okay, now we're about to have 2020 elections, right?

406
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So imagine this thing multiple, multiple years ago.

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Ray Abum, first thing he does is he asks advice of the elder.

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So he goes to the gray hairs, say, what do you think I should do?

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None of them becoming king.

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And so they were talking to him about handling the transition with grace.

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This is experience talking to you, handle their transitions with grace.

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But then it says Ray Abum gathered the young guys that he grew up with and asked their

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advice and he said, Hey man, your dad waste should be like your fingers.

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Another way of saying your dad went easy on him.

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You need to be hard.

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You need to raise taxes.

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You need to make it about you.

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You need to let them know who's in charge.

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And so they're giving them different advice.

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And so here's the problem.

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Ray Abum should have went with the seasoned, but instead he went with the sexy.

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And I see that so often today rather than going with the seasoned voices in your life

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you're going with the sexy voices.

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But you have to understand, you don't want to, when I say sexy, I mean, was hip or was

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cool.

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But you have to understand Ray Abum split the kingdom, sabotage his reign as king and

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his destiny was impacted as a result of that.

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So if you learn anything, your life is going to follow your counselors.

429
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Don't reject the advice of elders.

430
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That's so good.

431
00:21:34,680 --> 00:21:36,920
Wisdom is found in the council of elders.

432
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That is so good.

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So the word encourages us to seek advisors, Proverbs 15, 22 says plans fail for lack

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00:21:44,720 --> 00:21:47,600
of counsel, but with many advisors they succeed.

435
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The trick is to listen to the right ones.

436
00:21:50,320 --> 00:21:51,840
And that's exactly what you're talking about.

437
00:21:51,840 --> 00:21:59,360
I mean, the reality is he was given a council from the wrong voice, meaning Ray Abum listened

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to the wrong voices.

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00:22:01,160 --> 00:22:06,400
And he was given counsel, sound counsel from the right voices, but he was persuaded by

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the younger, like you're talking about the sexier voice.

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Sometimes when we think something is seasoned and mature, we think it's boring.

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We think it's predictable.

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Speak to that.

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But the reality is just because it's hip, it's cool, it's fresh, it's new, it's different.

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That's not a bad thing, but it also doesn't mean it's the right thing.

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And so sometimes we have to recognize, don't be persuaded, don't be seduced by the shiny

447
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package in the way things come, but go to the soundness and the fruit of what's being

448
00:22:36,480 --> 00:22:37,800
released to you.

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You know, the reality is I know in my life, I so many times have pulled on the counsel

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of my kitchen table.

451
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There's only so many seats at my kitchen table.

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And I have a set of counsel that are trusted and they're seasoned.

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And I know that I can turn to these people and they will speak truth to me.

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They will give me an honest opinion.

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Not what I want to hear, but they'll preach to me the word of God.

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And they always point back to the Lord and they always empower my relationship with God,

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but they call me to a place of waiting on God in His truth, but not being persuaded

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00:23:13,160 --> 00:23:17,840
by the seduction of culture or the sexiness of the current age.

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00:23:17,840 --> 00:23:22,280
And I think that's what's so important is you've got to find your voices that are trusted

460
00:23:22,280 --> 00:23:23,840
and seasoned in your life.

461
00:23:23,840 --> 00:23:28,320
You know, if I could sit down with King Ray Abom and talk to them, what to look for in

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00:23:28,320 --> 00:23:29,320
a mentor?

463
00:23:29,320 --> 00:23:33,840
Because obviously he grew up with young guys and as we've kind of described, they were

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probably exhibiting certain characteristics.

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00:23:36,120 --> 00:23:38,760
And I imagine if you looked at the elders, they exhibited.

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So what do I look for in a mentor?

467
00:23:40,280 --> 00:23:42,320
Shauna Christa, hey, help me out with that.

468
00:23:42,320 --> 00:23:43,720
I need some mentors in my life.

469
00:23:43,720 --> 00:23:44,720
What I look for.

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00:23:44,720 --> 00:23:49,520
And I think one of the things that's very important is does their life manifest a mature relationship

471
00:23:49,520 --> 00:23:50,520
with Christ?

472
00:23:50,520 --> 00:23:54,200
Like if I'm looking for a mentor and I have mentors in my life, one of the first things

473
00:23:54,200 --> 00:23:57,720
I look for is does their life manifest a mature relationship with Christ?

474
00:23:57,720 --> 00:24:00,720
Because you don't want to make a Xerox of a bad copy.

475
00:24:00,720 --> 00:24:03,320
It means that the reprint just gets worse.

476
00:24:03,320 --> 00:24:04,320
So good.

477
00:24:04,320 --> 00:24:08,840
And so so many people, they're getting people in their life that don't manifest a mature

478
00:24:08,840 --> 00:24:10,480
walk with God.

479
00:24:10,480 --> 00:24:15,920
And so if you're allowing immaturity to speak to your immaturity or hurt to speak to your

480
00:24:15,920 --> 00:24:20,560
hurt or wound to speak to your wound, it just exacerbates the whole situation.

481
00:24:20,560 --> 00:24:24,800
Second thing, if I could say, hey, Ray Abom, we're sitting down over a mocha latte.

482
00:24:24,800 --> 00:24:29,840
The second thing I would tell them to look for in a mentor is does their life and lifestyle

483
00:24:29,840 --> 00:24:31,840
challenge and convict yours?

484
00:24:31,840 --> 00:24:36,800
You know, I think what happens is that we mistake a mate for a mentor.

485
00:24:36,800 --> 00:24:39,320
In other words, mate like the Aussies would say a friend.

486
00:24:39,320 --> 00:24:42,120
We all of a sudden mistake a buddy for a mentor.

487
00:24:42,120 --> 00:24:45,200
You may have a guy that's your buddy and he may be cool.

488
00:24:45,200 --> 00:24:50,000
Maybe using a couple of years older than you, but don't mistake an associate for an advisor.

489
00:24:50,000 --> 00:24:53,080
It's easier to confuse a buddy for a trusted teacher.

490
00:24:53,080 --> 00:24:57,240
But what you've got to ask is when you look at that mentor, what governs their heart and

491
00:24:57,240 --> 00:24:58,320
affections?

492
00:24:58,320 --> 00:25:02,080
And if it's just trying to get paid, just trying to get the latest and greatest more

493
00:25:02,080 --> 00:25:07,240
junk in the trunk, you probably don't need just that person in your life as a mentor.

494
00:25:07,240 --> 00:25:09,800
And of course, stuff like authentic holiness.

495
00:25:09,800 --> 00:25:13,640
And you got to make a distinction between a spiritual mentor and a spiritual buddy.

496
00:25:13,640 --> 00:25:14,920
We all need spiritual buddies.

497
00:25:14,920 --> 00:25:17,000
We need friends in our lives.

498
00:25:17,000 --> 00:25:18,560
We need people around us.

499
00:25:18,560 --> 00:25:23,400
You know, I think Joshua had a Caleb, Caleb had a Joshua, but they both had a Moses.

500
00:25:23,400 --> 00:25:27,320
And so you may have a spiritual buddy, but you got to have a spiritual mentor.

501
00:25:27,320 --> 00:25:31,520
You know, what you said is so good because when we apply these things, we can really

502
00:25:31,520 --> 00:25:34,120
see the value of the mentor.

503
00:25:34,120 --> 00:25:37,240
Another thing I want to add to that is, you know, you need to really look for someone

504
00:25:37,240 --> 00:25:42,760
who can discern God's activity in your life and recognizes your potential in you.

505
00:25:42,760 --> 00:25:46,200
And I think that's so important because so many times we're around people that may not

506
00:25:46,200 --> 00:25:48,400
actually see us for who we are.

507
00:25:48,400 --> 00:25:52,200
You want a mentor that actually believes in you, sees you, and you're a diamond in the

508
00:25:52,200 --> 00:25:53,200
rough.

509
00:25:53,200 --> 00:25:58,040
I know for me, I had people in my life that called out what was in me before I even saw

510
00:25:58,040 --> 00:25:59,040
it.

511
00:25:59,040 --> 00:26:03,060
And before I even had the confidence or the belief within myself in certain areas.

512
00:26:03,060 --> 00:26:07,040
And that's the beauty of mentorship is when someone believes in you, their confidence in

513
00:26:07,040 --> 00:26:11,400
you, you grab ahold of that and you become more confident in who you're called to be.

514
00:26:11,400 --> 00:26:15,840
So you're not looking for a brother or sister to be your mentor.

515
00:26:15,840 --> 00:26:17,680
You're not looking for a peer to be your mentor.

516
00:26:17,680 --> 00:26:21,880
You're looking for a mother or a father in the spirit, an auntie or an uncle, a grandma

517
00:26:21,880 --> 00:26:22,880
or a grandpa.

518
00:26:22,880 --> 00:26:27,280
You're looking for someone older and more mature because a mother or father is comfortable

519
00:26:27,280 --> 00:26:31,160
with you soaring, but siblings, peers want to compete with you.

520
00:26:31,160 --> 00:26:34,240
A mentor can't compete with you.

521
00:26:34,240 --> 00:26:36,640
You can't have competition and grow.

522
00:26:36,640 --> 00:26:40,520
So it's really important who those people are and that they're farther along in the

523
00:26:40,520 --> 00:26:41,960
journey than you.

524
00:26:41,960 --> 00:26:45,640
Another thing you're going to really want to look for when you're looking for a mentor

525
00:26:45,640 --> 00:26:50,840
or having a mentor in your life is do they contribute or enhance the communities that

526
00:26:50,840 --> 00:26:51,840
they're a part of?

527
00:26:51,840 --> 00:26:56,640
Now, this is really important because I want someone where I want to emulate, we touched

528
00:26:56,640 --> 00:26:58,600
on this a bit, but I want to expand on it.

529
00:26:58,600 --> 00:27:02,520
They emulate who you want to reproduce.

530
00:27:02,520 --> 00:27:05,420
Like Sean talked about, do you want a Xerox copy of that?

531
00:27:05,420 --> 00:27:10,480
You look at their life, their marriage, their parenting or they're a part of their community,

532
00:27:10,480 --> 00:27:13,160
their job, how they're connected to church.

533
00:27:13,160 --> 00:27:16,480
If there's someone that's been wounded or offended in a church and they're staying home

534
00:27:16,480 --> 00:27:19,760
and they're critical and they're a part of the church hurt movement, they're probably

535
00:27:19,760 --> 00:27:25,600
not a solid mentor in helping you be a part of community or helping you develop and what

536
00:27:25,600 --> 00:27:30,760
it is really valuing the power of church and community because there's not a value

537
00:27:30,760 --> 00:27:32,280
for it in their lives.

538
00:27:32,280 --> 00:27:36,440
And if they're not contributing to the local church, if they're not contributing to community,

539
00:27:36,440 --> 00:27:39,320
how in the world are they going to help develop that in your life?

540
00:27:39,320 --> 00:27:43,600
So you really have to understand that if they have apathy or disconnection in their life,

541
00:27:43,600 --> 00:27:45,040
that is not a good sign.

542
00:27:45,040 --> 00:27:49,400
You have to read the signs and we have to understand that community teaches you to work through

543
00:27:49,400 --> 00:27:54,800
conflict and challenges and for you to be and more like Jesus.

544
00:27:54,800 --> 00:28:00,280
But if your mentor isn't living that life, just recognize you got to be wise about who

545
00:28:00,280 --> 00:28:01,680
pours into you.

546
00:28:01,680 --> 00:28:02,680
That is so good.

547
00:28:02,680 --> 00:28:03,680
Okay.

548
00:28:03,680 --> 00:28:06,600
The fifth thing and final thing that I sit down and I would share is that you're looking

549
00:28:06,600 --> 00:28:09,560
for a mentor, do they have strong mentors themselves?

550
00:28:09,560 --> 00:28:10,840
That's so good.

551
00:28:10,840 --> 00:28:12,120
Are they getting fed?

552
00:28:12,120 --> 00:28:15,600
And when I'm saying are they getting fed, I'm not talking about from books and blogs

553
00:28:15,600 --> 00:28:20,160
because when you're from books and blogs, you could selectively listen to the blog and

554
00:28:20,160 --> 00:28:22,440
read the book of the people that you want to.

555
00:28:22,440 --> 00:28:25,800
I don't know that you can always call that mentorship, but if you're allowing someone

556
00:28:25,800 --> 00:28:31,000
to could see you eyeball you, then they could begin to speak the inconvenient truths.

557
00:28:31,000 --> 00:28:35,280
It's kind of my way of saying those truths that you may not want to hear.

558
00:28:35,280 --> 00:28:36,280
Everybody wants to grow in an area.

559
00:28:36,280 --> 00:28:40,440
I can, I can listen to a blog, I can read a book on what I want to grow, but a potential

560
00:28:40,440 --> 00:28:46,200
mentor who doesn't have personal mentors themselves might falsely arrive at the conclusion that

561
00:28:46,200 --> 00:28:47,480
they've arrived.

562
00:28:47,480 --> 00:28:51,720
And the truth be told, not everyone's opinion should have equal weight in your life.

563
00:28:51,720 --> 00:28:58,880
And so if they don't weigh trusted season biblical Christ centered mentors in their life,

564
00:28:58,880 --> 00:29:03,800
then when they speak, their words shouldn't carry the same weight in your life as others

565
00:29:03,800 --> 00:29:04,800
that do.

566
00:29:04,800 --> 00:29:06,160
That is, I love that.

567
00:29:06,160 --> 00:29:07,160
That is really profound.

568
00:29:07,160 --> 00:29:12,880
And the reality is we're talking about mentorship and relationships, but the truth is true harmony

569
00:29:12,880 --> 00:29:16,400
among Christians is as important as it's ever been.

570
00:29:16,400 --> 00:29:20,160
So when we're talking about community to our Keep It 100 tribe, we're talking about it

571
00:29:20,160 --> 00:29:25,800
with us as individuals and then also us corporately, but we're really talking about us as the church

572
00:29:25,800 --> 00:29:29,480
together with one another because God designed community.

573
00:29:29,480 --> 00:29:30,680
He designed covenant.

574
00:29:30,680 --> 00:29:32,160
He designed connection.

575
00:29:32,160 --> 00:29:36,200
So when you and I were created, we were actually created for community.

576
00:29:36,200 --> 00:29:40,880
We were created for connection because we were created in God's image and God created

577
00:29:40,880 --> 00:29:41,880
community.

578
00:29:41,880 --> 00:29:43,200
He created covenant.

579
00:29:43,200 --> 00:29:47,680
And therefore if we are not living in community, we're not living in connection or covenant,

580
00:29:47,680 --> 00:29:51,000
then we're actually not living in our true design.

581
00:29:51,000 --> 00:29:52,160
And that's really important.

582
00:29:52,160 --> 00:29:56,360
The fullness of your identity is not fully lived out unless you're connected to other

583
00:29:56,360 --> 00:29:57,360
people.

584
00:29:57,360 --> 00:29:59,200
Other people are part of your destiny.

585
00:29:59,200 --> 00:30:03,160
You do not walk out your God destiny isolated or alone.

586
00:30:03,160 --> 00:30:07,000
And community, the definition of it for us to really understand it, let me break it down

587
00:30:07,000 --> 00:30:08,000
for you.

588
00:30:08,000 --> 00:30:12,880
The definition defines community in this way, a unified body of individuals with a common

589
00:30:12,880 --> 00:30:18,120
character, with common interests who share joint ownership and participation in something.

590
00:30:18,120 --> 00:30:22,640
So as a church who embraces the valued community, we feel strongly that there has to be unity

591
00:30:22,640 --> 00:30:23,680
between us.

592
00:30:23,680 --> 00:30:28,360
We should all share common character, one that reflects the character of Christ.

593
00:30:28,360 --> 00:30:29,360
That is so good.

594
00:30:29,360 --> 00:30:33,280
And I think about, as you're sharing, I think about my early formative community.

595
00:30:33,280 --> 00:30:38,600
We were a bunch of college students on a secular campus that were in a Christian club, so

596
00:30:38,600 --> 00:30:40,360
to speak, actually a Christian movement.

597
00:30:40,360 --> 00:30:44,720
And it was so important because inevitably as a baby Christian, but it's true even now,

598
00:30:44,720 --> 00:30:48,920
Christ and I are part of a community of believers locally and in part, and Christ even serves

599
00:30:48,920 --> 00:30:50,440
on the board of our church.

600
00:30:50,440 --> 00:30:55,040
And inevitably you're going to face trials, troubles and tragedies in life.

601
00:30:55,040 --> 00:30:57,640
This is in fact a sin marred earth.

602
00:30:57,640 --> 00:31:02,160
But God intends that you would be supported, strengthened, encouraged and empowered through

603
00:31:02,160 --> 00:31:04,480
a community of believers.

604
00:31:04,480 --> 00:31:08,280
So when you run from community, you're running from your support system.

605
00:31:08,280 --> 00:31:10,800
You run from your community.

606
00:31:10,800 --> 00:31:15,320
When you face storms and temptations of life, you have just unplugged yourself from the life

607
00:31:15,320 --> 00:31:17,720
of support system that could bring strength.

608
00:31:17,720 --> 00:31:22,120
And I really believe that it's so important that we draw the strength from the community.

609
00:31:22,120 --> 00:31:26,200
And I think about the first great awakening grew out of the Holy club because the Wesley

610
00:31:26,200 --> 00:31:31,080
brothers and Whitfield, they gathered together to pray, to hold each other accountable.

611
00:31:31,080 --> 00:31:32,760
They read certain books.

612
00:31:32,760 --> 00:31:35,760
And as a result of that, it launched the first great awakening.

613
00:31:35,760 --> 00:31:39,800
You know, relationships are our reason for existence.

614
00:31:39,800 --> 00:31:42,480
Relationships with God and with our fellow man.

615
00:31:42,480 --> 00:31:47,200
And so we have to understand Satan would love nothing more than to keep you and I isolated.

616
00:31:47,200 --> 00:31:50,760
But we know isolation is never the answer.

617
00:31:50,760 --> 00:31:54,240
This is where the enemy is going to deceive you by saying, you're not good enough.

618
00:31:54,240 --> 00:31:55,440
You're probably not a Christian.

619
00:31:55,440 --> 00:31:56,680
No one's going to really like you.

620
00:31:56,680 --> 00:31:59,840
If they really know what's going on with you, you're not going to be accepted.

621
00:31:59,840 --> 00:32:01,920
They're not going to let you into the inner circle.

622
00:32:01,920 --> 00:32:04,600
But I want you to know, don't believe the lies of the enemy.

623
00:32:04,600 --> 00:32:09,480
Don't allow the lies of the whispers that the enemy's trying to pull you out of relationship,

624
00:32:09,480 --> 00:32:12,520
pull you out of covenant or pull you out of community.

625
00:32:12,520 --> 00:32:17,400
The reality is the enemy wants to tell you that things are easier without community.

626
00:32:17,400 --> 00:32:20,920
But friends, we want to tell you today, you have to have relationship.

627
00:32:20,920 --> 00:32:22,080
You have to have community.

628
00:32:22,080 --> 00:32:25,200
You have to allow people to speak into your life.

629
00:32:25,200 --> 00:32:31,080
Hebrews 18 one sums this up beautifully says whoever isolates himself seeks his own desire.

630
00:32:31,080 --> 00:32:34,120
He breaks out against all sound judgment.

631
00:32:34,120 --> 00:32:38,240
When you say that, it also triggers and makes me think, Christa, that the bottom line is

632
00:32:38,240 --> 00:32:42,440
that you are God's appointed means to keep your brother and sister from falling into

633
00:32:42,440 --> 00:32:43,440
sin.

634
00:32:43,440 --> 00:32:47,080
Another important aspect of community is the Bible, let's just know in Ecclesiastes,

635
00:32:47,080 --> 00:32:50,280
two are better than one for they receive a better reward for their labor.

636
00:32:50,280 --> 00:32:53,000
For one falls down, the other can lift them up.

637
00:32:53,000 --> 00:32:57,520
There's another one that says that one alone can't stay warm, but two together can stay

638
00:32:57,520 --> 00:32:58,520
warm.

639
00:32:58,520 --> 00:33:02,680
It's a way of keeping that fire going in your heart of passion for the Lord.

640
00:33:02,680 --> 00:33:07,280
So if that's the case and we know the Bible is true, then every exchange with others counts

641
00:33:07,280 --> 00:33:12,160
for eternity because we're either weakening people's affections for God or strengthening

642
00:33:12,160 --> 00:33:13,160
them.

643
00:33:13,160 --> 00:33:16,360
In other words, we're either bringing the fire or in fact, we're dousing it.

644
00:33:16,360 --> 00:33:21,380
And Proverbs 13 20 tells us that we'll be significantly affected by the people we choose

645
00:33:21,380 --> 00:33:22,620
to relate to.

646
00:33:22,620 --> 00:33:28,320
Either we become wise by associating with those who are wise or we'll have bad consequences

647
00:33:28,320 --> 00:33:31,560
by associated with those who are not wise.

648
00:33:31,560 --> 00:33:36,120
As always to the Keep It 100 tribe, we want you to walk away with some takeaways and we

649
00:33:36,120 --> 00:33:41,360
have a few for you with this episode because we believe in the power of mentorship, those

650
00:33:41,360 --> 00:33:44,520
that are speaking to your life and the need for a community.

651
00:33:44,520 --> 00:33:48,800
First takeaway I want you to walk away with is accountability is important and necessary

652
00:33:48,800 --> 00:33:53,840
for to every Christian in order for them to reach the wholeness and their potential in

653
00:33:53,840 --> 00:33:54,840
God.

654
00:33:54,840 --> 00:33:56,200
Here's the reality friends.

655
00:33:56,200 --> 00:34:00,360
We're more likely to end well with this in place.

656
00:34:00,360 --> 00:34:01,620
And this is what I mean.

657
00:34:01,620 --> 00:34:04,040
When you want to get fit, what do you get a trainer?

658
00:34:04,040 --> 00:34:06,000
When you want to eat right, you get a nutritionist.

659
00:34:06,000 --> 00:34:10,560
It doesn't make sense that you would do this in your spiritual walk.

660
00:34:10,560 --> 00:34:14,040
Accountability makes us stronger and more effective in our walk with God.

661
00:34:14,040 --> 00:34:18,240
And it helps you see the gold in your life, therefore making you stronger, therefore helping

662
00:34:18,240 --> 00:34:22,200
resiliency in your life, which we talked about in a previous episode.

663
00:34:22,200 --> 00:34:27,000
You need to have people that help bring perspective and strength to your life because it gives

664
00:34:27,000 --> 00:34:30,640
you confidence that you know God's with you and he's going to get you through the storms

665
00:34:30,640 --> 00:34:34,680
of life and even more than the storms, you have a destiny and a purpose you're called

666
00:34:34,680 --> 00:34:35,680
to walk out.

667
00:34:35,680 --> 00:34:40,160
The next takeaway is accountability is a safeguard because what accountability does,

668
00:34:40,160 --> 00:34:42,320
it gives you a second set of eyes.

669
00:34:42,320 --> 00:34:45,840
It guards you against poor judgment and self deception.

670
00:34:45,840 --> 00:34:49,280
You know, I'm thinking about that whole again, that story of Michael Vic to bring it full

671
00:34:49,280 --> 00:34:50,280
circle.

672
00:34:50,280 --> 00:34:52,560
What if he'd have had Tony Dungey from the beginning?

673
00:34:52,560 --> 00:34:57,400
What if he never would have had to go to prison, which that was actually not just ruling that

674
00:34:57,400 --> 00:35:02,200
sent a man to prison for dog fighting for almost two years over that, but that's another story.

675
00:35:02,200 --> 00:35:05,480
But what if he had Tony Dungey in his life, then he would have never been bankrupt.

676
00:35:05,480 --> 00:35:10,840
He would have had those friends and it ended well for Michael Vic, but accountability is

677
00:35:10,840 --> 00:35:11,840
safeguarding.

678
00:35:11,840 --> 00:35:14,720
And some of us, we have to recognize the devil shooting real bullets.

679
00:35:14,720 --> 00:35:16,320
He's really coming after folks.

680
00:35:16,320 --> 00:35:18,320
We've seen men and women of God fall.

681
00:35:18,320 --> 00:35:19,320
We've seen them.

682
00:35:19,320 --> 00:35:20,320
We believe in restoration.

683
00:35:20,320 --> 00:35:25,520
We, we thank God we serve a redemptive God, but just like the case, maybe accountability

684
00:35:25,520 --> 00:35:27,760
could keep you from falling in the first place.

685
00:35:27,760 --> 00:35:31,940
And it's funny because they have research in a new study, Kristen, his new study comes

686
00:35:31,940 --> 00:35:36,600
out of the research that says the average person is holding on to 13 secrets, five of

687
00:35:36,600 --> 00:35:38,320
which was never told anyone.

688
00:35:38,320 --> 00:35:42,240
We know this, the enemy, the adversary of your souls, he has authority to traffic where

689
00:35:42,240 --> 00:35:46,520
there's darkness, where that darkness is found in the world or that darkness is found in

690
00:35:46,520 --> 00:35:47,520
your heart.

691
00:35:47,520 --> 00:35:51,800
And whenever you're holding on to secrets and things that you're keeping secret to protect,

692
00:35:51,800 --> 00:35:54,700
the enemy has the ability to traffic there.

693
00:35:54,700 --> 00:35:56,320
So we need to be accountable.

694
00:35:56,320 --> 00:36:01,080
And I have an accountability partner shot out to DB and we call each other every week.

695
00:36:01,080 --> 00:36:05,520
And I'm so glad that that guy is able to see things in my life and counsel me, he's older

696
00:36:05,520 --> 00:36:06,520
than me.

697
00:36:06,520 --> 00:36:08,880
He's got more gray in his afro than I do in mine.

698
00:36:08,880 --> 00:36:13,800
I recommend that is so important because accountability is a safe ground.

699
00:36:13,800 --> 00:36:18,120
Accountability is also something that requires commitment and perseverance.

700
00:36:18,120 --> 00:36:21,680
And the reason is transformation requires commitment.

701
00:36:21,680 --> 00:36:26,280
Commitment to be honest enough with yourself to own your blind spots, your responses, your

702
00:36:26,280 --> 00:36:30,320
feelings because we all know we're responsible for our attitude, our thoughts, our actions,

703
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and our behaviors.

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No one can make us any way.

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We have to make the choices to change.

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We can have people speak into our life, but we have to make the choice to receive the

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correction or receive the encouragement and actually run with it and walk at the fullness

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of who we are.

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But we all know if you want to stay the same, then you don't have to do anything.

710
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But if you want transformation, transformation requires you to be committed to being uncomfortable

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and refusing to stay where you're at.

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Therefore, accountability requires a perseverance.

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You got to push through in order to see transformation in your life.

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Friends, with the Keep It 100 Tribe, we want to thank you for tuning in for yet another

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episode.

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We pray that this content continues to transform and impact your life.

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We believe that every week, God has something for you.

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00:37:20,840 --> 00:37:25,080
We just want to thank you for tuning in and we want to continue to ask you, will you rate,

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00:37:25,080 --> 00:37:26,800
review, and refer us?

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00:37:26,800 --> 00:37:31,360
We'd even actually love for you to share this link of this episode on your social media

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00:37:31,360 --> 00:37:32,360
platforms.

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00:37:32,360 --> 00:37:33,360
We want to hear your word out.

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00:37:33,360 --> 00:37:36,680
And again, invite people, your friends and family, you think that could benefit from

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00:37:36,680 --> 00:37:37,680
this content.

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00:37:37,680 --> 00:37:42,680
Our whole passion is to disciple and equip people that want to go deeper after God.

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00:37:42,680 --> 00:37:47,160
You can always find us at www.SeanandChristasmith.com and as well as on Facebook at Sean and

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00:37:47,160 --> 00:37:48,560
Christa Smith Ministries.

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00:37:48,560 --> 00:37:51,560
We'd love to hear how this podcast has impacted you.

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00:37:51,560 --> 00:37:55,400
We've heard so many great reports from so many of you that really encouraged us and

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00:37:55,400 --> 00:38:00,480
it really, as you do that, it spurs us to want to get deeper and to bring more material

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that we believe will help you.

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00:38:01,640 --> 00:38:05,520
Speaking of that, you'll want to tune in next week because we're talking about leadership.

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Act like the leader you are because everyone is going to lead someone.

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And you're also going to hear from a university president that has written a book on leadership.

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He's an amazing guy and a friend of mine.

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You do not want to miss it.

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00:38:17,680 --> 00:38:19,720
And remember, Keep It 100 Tribe.

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We hope you enjoyed today's episode of the Keep It 100 podcast with Sean and Christa Smith.

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00:38:32,240 --> 00:38:34,320
Keep up with us on Facebook and Instagram at SeanandChristasmith.com where you can discover

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00:38:34,320 --> 00:38:35,320
more resources.

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If this podcast has impacted you, please subscribe and review wherever you listen to your podcast.